Episode Transcript
My message is simple and is from the bottom of my heart because I've been there and I know how it
feels. Girls, be confident, believe in yourself and do what makes you happy.
Femininity is powerful in all its forms. Exceptional women, rare girls must be appreciated
in every way for their perspectives, actions, thoughts, and their unique ways of being. Such
rare girls are inspiring and this is what this podcast is all about. Hello, my name is Aziz and
my guest today is Julia Maria Aldeia. Julia is from Bucharest in Romania and she studies
at two universities, studying business administration at the faculty of business
administration in ASC Bucharest, as well as psychology at Tito Majorescu University in
Bucharest. Julia loves socializing, meeting new interesting people and bonding with them,
interpreting art, running, dancing, as well as reading. Julia is most proud of her self-development
work that she has done on herself, healing her childhood wounds and transforming from an
anxious shy teenager to a confident young woman. Julia, how are you today? Hello, it's so nice to
speak to you today. I'm good. I've just finished my courses. I'm happy for you. I encourage your
success. I hope you'll get the best grades that make you proud and I'm really curious about
something specific. You were a shy teenager and then you transformed into a more confident woman.
Tell me the story. Tell me why and how you decided to do it and what did you do in order to change
and heal your inner traumas and wounds. Yes, I was really shy and anxious as a child.
I wasn't confident at all. I didn't like the way I looked and I was crying almost every day
because of that. I had the impression that I was bullied even though I wasn't, but in my mind,
there were a lot of negative scenarios going on and it was a moment in high school when I realized
I can't do this anymore. I have to heal. I have to do something for myself, for my own good,
for my own development because I knew I was intelligent, but I was too shy to express that.
One day, I talked to a psychotherapist. She was the high school counselor and she somehow
read my inner trauma, my inner problems, and she started talking to me and asking
me, why is that? I'm feeling like that. That was the moment I realized I need help and I was
seeking help in that specific moment from her, but after that, after talking to her, after going
to a professional psychotherapist, I realized step by step my worth and that it's me that has to
change in order to change the reality that I'm in. I love that very much and I do believe that
our reality is a reflection of our inner world, our inner confidence. I have so many questions
about this, but I'll begin with one. Did you choose psychology because of this specifically?
Was this the fascination that made you want to learn more about psychology,
so you understand yourself and help other people? Or did you do it because it's better for marketing
and business? No, not at all. My first uni was psychology. I first started studying psychology.
I didn't start both of them at the same time. When I started psychology, yes, you intuitively
said it well. It was because of my process, my healing process when I decided. I was in a
psychotherapy session. I wasn't really decided on what I want to do next, but I realized that I
really love what that woman was telling me and I really loved seeing myself grow. I said in the
back of my mind, it was a voice, wow, that's impressive, that's amazing. I want to do what
I want to do, what she's doing. I want to help people like myself because I truly believe that
it's such a powerful tool to know how to heal people, to know how to talk to people. It's a
word that, in my opinion, no other job is going to give me. It was out of passion and out of
personal experience, certainly the choice. I love that. That's really interesting and passion is
always what makes it not work, but rather a passion and a way that gives you energy
throughout the day. I will ask you, what is your definition of confidence? What does it mean and
how and when was the moment when you realized, wow, I am more confident now? What changed? What
happened? For me, confidence is being okay with who you are, not worrying so much about what others
think, and doing things that you love without always thinking, what will she say? What will he
say? It's a state of being, of calm, and it's peaceful inside when you're confident. You don't
worry so much. You don't think your actions so much. I realized I'm confident when I stopped
worrying about what other people would say about me. The comments still come, but I don't take them
personally anymore. They're not defining me. Also, I realized I'm confident when a lot of other
people complimented me on this. When I'm going out, a lot of people come to me and tell me, wow,
I love your confidence. In that moment, I realized that I'm confident because it was somehow
a compliment that I've never heard before. I knew something was changing.
That's a wonderful story. Since you're from Bucharest, Romania, and you're studying psychology
and love meeting new people, one, do you feel that a majority of Romanian girls are confident
or are they more, at least at university and at that age, shy and anxious? Do you feel it's some
cultural thing or social media and comparing it to others or a post-Soviet trauma? What is it if it's
true? Maybe they're all confident and then this question doesn't mean much.
No, no. I see the point. It's a really good question. I think it's a mixture of all the
things you mentioned before. I observed that girls in high school are less confident than girls at
university, but unfortunately, even though I'm at two universities and the study ages are different,
so I'm in the second year of psychology and the first at business. I meet girls at 21, 22,
and girls at 18, 19, and at both categories of ages. I still sense girls that are not confident
and girls who wished they were more beautiful, taller, smarter. I think social media has a
really big impact even though we don't realize it. The scrolling we do every day on Instagram,
the posts we see affect us in our subconscious mind. I think the body image we want or what we
seek is not actually what will be good for us. I think it's a really big influence around us,
even though we don't realize it or maybe we do. I hope a lot of girls will realize that
comparing themselves is not a healthy thing, but it's a process that comes from within.
A lot of people can tell you this, unless you don't realize it by yourself,
it's a waste of time telling them. I mean, it's okay to tell people to be more confident,
to not compare themselves, but the true change has to come from within. It's a lot more complex
than people would think. I mean, it's easy to say, be more confident, you're beautiful.
Yeah, these words are nice, but they won't mean a thing unless that person realizes it.
At least that was my case. I have received a lot of compliments, but I really didn't hear them.
They just passed through me. I understand. And yes, they often say,
when the student is ready, the teacher appears. So when people are ready to listen, only then
is advice really taken and impactful. And one of the things you love is socializing
and specifically interacting with interesting people. What does it mean for you,
an interesting person? How do you know it? Is it that fire in their eyes because they're living
their passion? Is it because they have so much life experience? They have stories about exotic
places and adventures? Is it because you have similar values? Or to you, especially at that
age, let's say you have new classmates who are 18, how many of them do you consider interesting
because of whatever reason? Or what are the criteria that make someone for you interesting?
In my opinion, everyone is interesting because everyone is unique. There's no girl like another
girl or boy like another boy. Everyone has their unique features. And that's what makes people
interesting in my point of view. But some people let their interesting part be seen. That's the
difference. When I talk to people, some of them are open, some of them are vulnerable. Some of
them let me see their passions, but some of them are more introverted. And that makes me want to
offer them comfort in order for them to show me their interesting side. I love doing that. I love
making people be comfortable in my presence and to share things with them and to talk about our
passions. It's my favorite thing to do because I truly believe that everyone has an interesting
story, an interesting past, and everyone is different. As I said, I love hearing different
perspectives on life because I don't think I'm right. I think everyone has their points of view
that might be right. I like that. And therefore, I'll ask you, what are your spiritual or metaphysical
beliefs? Do you believe, since you said there is no right, but everybody has their own version of
right. Therefore, the truth has multi-facets and is different and specific to each person. Do you
believe in faith? Are you a tarot girl who reads her horoscope every morning? Or are you more logical
and business-minded? Or tell me, what do you believe about the spiritual side of reality,
of destiny, of life, of tomorrow? Really, really interesting question. I believe in a bigger force,
a higher force. I don't know. I can't put the finger on it because I haven't seen it. And I
have a logical part in myself. That's the reason why I started going to a business administration,
because I like being in both worlds, also in the spiritual field, but also in the practical field
with my feet upon the ground, let's say. Yeah, I believe in faith. But the reason why I said that
everyone has their own truth is because I think that we're not on the same path. I think we're on
different levels of evolution, if that makes sense for you. And we need to go through some
experiences and to make mistakes in order to evolve. We're not starting from the same
point. That's what I meant earlier. Thank you. That's absolutely fascinating.
And to ask you then about being a student at two difficult and different subjects,
because there's a lot of reading, a lot of essays, a lot of analysis. How do you organize your time
in order to be productive without burning out? Have you ever faced the possibility of burnout?
Or do you always keep time to enjoy life, your weekends keeping them sacred? I started these
universities because I wanted to. No one pressured me. It was my own decision, my own choice,
because I love being involved. I see a bright future for myself. I want to do major things,
extremely nice things for me and for those around me. So it was my choice. And I do it with
a really big pleasure. I mean, yeah, it's hard. Sometimes I don't have time for all the things
that I wish to do, but I have a really big satisfaction afterwards. And that's what keeps
me going. And about my personal life, I also have time for having fun, hanging out with my friends.
I try some time to cope with both areas of my life and to set a schedule in which I also have
free time, but I also work and do my projects and tasks for universities. Thank you. You mentioned
that you have big goals, big dreams for your future. What are they? And do they combine
psychology with business or what is your strategy and game plan? Yes, they actually do. I want to
be a businesswoman. I want to open my own business in the field of personal development
and psychotherapy. I want to open a school of personal development in which I wish to hire
talented people, speakers from all around the world, and to form a community, a community in
which people can feel heard and people can feel safe and people receive help. This is my main goal.
I love that. That's absolutely fascinating. And Romania is known to be one of the cool countries
where you can find Romanians all over the world. They travel and live everywhere from Australia to
London to New York, et cetera. Are you planning to open your business in Romania? If so, why?
Or do you have goals of living a few years abroad and beginning that experience over there?
For the beginning, I'd love to open my business here because this is the country I studied in.
And I think it's, for me, a sign of appreciation to the teachers that made me be who I'll be
to open the business here. But afterwards, I want to broaden my perspective and to move my business
all around the world, hopefully. Yeah, and Romanians are really cool. They travel a lot,
and they love being involved with other countries as well. I observed. I have a lot of friends
who study abroad, who open their businesses abroad. But one thing I observed about Romanians
is that they truly never forget their hometown and their country. And I love that. I personally
love that. Thank you. That's really great that they keep connected to their roots. And so to ask you,
the younger and newer generation of Ukrainian girls, how would you describe them? Are they
more culturally Romanian? Or since we live in the age of TikTok and Netflix, etc.,
do you feel the younger generation is a mix of European, American, Korean, Japanese cultures,
all mixed into one, and they're more cosmopolitan? Or do you feel, like I said, they're traditionally
Romanian. Therefore, what does that even mean? Yeah, that's a really interesting question.
And personally, I think that girls nowadays, in my generation and newer generations in 2022,
are more cosmopolitan, and they are not so bound to their traditions. And somehow that's the influence
of the media, Instagram, TikTok, everything we see around us. And personally, I really like that,
because I believe that our core, our heart, is the same. I mean, not the same, but super similar.
And we need to bond, even though we're from different countries. I love the idea of being
a united team of girls from all around the world, and not to be so traditional,
stuck in our own country with our own Romanians. Thank you. This is really an interesting
conversation. And to ask then specifically about you, if your friends nowadays could describe
your personality in addition to saying you're confident, what else would they say? And would
you describe yourself as well as culturally cosmopolitan? So maybe you're like a mix of a
French girl with an American girl with Romanian roots, and it would be something exotic like that.
My friends always tell me that I'm a kind person, because they always receive help from myself.
And yeah, I'm really empathic. I can't be different. I mean, when someone needs my help,
I'm doing everything I can to help them. I sometimes even put myself aside, even though
I know that's not always a good thing for me. But this is my first instinct. This is the way
I was raised. And that's what my friends most appreciate about me. And about the second part
of your question, I've never thought about it in that way. But I see myself as a mixture of
everything you've mentioned before. Yeah, I'm Romanian because I lived in this country forever.
I know the traditions. I was raised by a traditional grandma that told me that in order
to grow big and tall and strong, I have to eat everything from my plate. But I also see myself
in the Western European part of the world because of the perspectives I have and the open-minded
mentality. I mean, yes, Romanians are starting somehow to be more open-minded, but not entirely
as I wished to. And from that point of view, I see myself more in the Western European girls.
Thank you. This is really an interesting conversation. And therefore, if you could
send a message or give advice or anything to both young Romanian girls and women, and women from
all over the world who might feel shy and anxious on how to become confident, how would they feel
differently? And how would their lives be different if they were confident? What would you say?
My message is simple and is from the bottom of my heart because I've been there and I know how it
feels. Girls, be confident, believe in yourself, and do what makes you happy. Even though people
maybe won't agree with you at first, it doesn't matter. Your opinion is the one that matters.
And never give up your dreams. Follow your heart and be you. Be yourself. This is my only advice,
and I think the most important advice that got me from zero confidence to nine, let's say.
Thank you, Iulia. This was my privilege, my honor. A truly enlightening conversation
where I understand you live this, and therefore you're speaking from experience rather than
some intellectual psychologist who understand it intellectually, but they're disconnected
from its reality, which makes you very empathetic and able to bond and connect and get real trust
that transforms your future clients and the people you will work with within your community.
Thank you again for participating, and I wish you a positive week.
