E206 Lilia Parmigiani

Hello, my name is Aziz and I'm the son of a divorce mother. She is really my superhero. That's why it's important for me to support women, to share their uniqueness, their personalities, perspectives, and emotions about this world. In these difficult times in human history, we need to bring the people of the world together. And when we hear the voices of women, when we listen to real lives of women from other countries, we connect our cultures without differences or stereotypes. And we get inspired by their stories to live a better life. That's what this podcast is all about. My guest today is Lilia Parmigiani. Lilia is an Italian girl living abroad since 2015 and traveling the world. She is currently in Malaysia and she is an Italian Spanish English French and German simultaneous translator as well as working in the web 3 crypto space. Lilia, how are you today? Hi, Aziz. I'm great. Thank you. How are you? I'm feeling fantastic, very full of grace and gratefulness for being alive. Enjoying this adventure we call life and I'm very curious about you as a person. So I'll begin with this nice first question. If your friends, Lilia could describe your personality and I don't know because you're traveling all over so it might be hard to keep any friendships. But if those who know your best and love your most could describe who you are, your personality, what would they say about you? Well, this is an amazing question. My best friends actually are people living abroad in different countries and traveling as well. I think they would say I'm a really open person, really trustful and funny. I consider myself a funny person and I'm really spiritual and deep in the sense of studying and analyzing every aspect of life and also I'm always seeking for adventure. I have so many questions really about this and I'll begin with this one. It comes in the life of every girl and every woman where she gets her heart broken and she feels, oh no, I cannot trust the world or anyone. And often at least it leads many girls to not becoming trusting. They just put their guards up. What allows you to be trusting? Is it a spiritual belief? Is it a choice you think, well, I have to risk having my heart broken or being disappointed in people because if I close myself, life will become shallow and it's not worth it and the alternative is much, much better or what beliefs or perspectives on the world allow you to be trusting while many other people do not behave in this way. Well, I think that thanks to my past and even abroad is not always a good thing because you are alone many times and sometimes you're struggling a lot. So many bad things happen to me actually in the past years, leaving abroad when I was in my bubble and I understood thanks to reading and studying and thanks to my mentors and friends as well, that everything that happens in your life is a lesson. So right now I have an approach life more relaxed, no more panic attacks, no more anxiety because I understood that actually everything bad that happens to me happens for a reason because I have to learn something and I'm becoming a better version of my, better version of myself actually every day and every time there's something bad happens to me. So I'm really grateful, of course it hurts sometimes as you said, but I think that being a mature means being a person who really doesn't complain and who really wants to find something good in every, every single situation because I mean we are here because life is a journey, you know, we have to grow, I'm also learning every day. I love that perspective, it's absolutely fascinating and then you said you're spiritual. So maybe you're relating this to your spiritual side. You believe in destiny, you said we are on this planet in order to learn and there is a perspective which is like a soul family that before our birth, we agreed with all the people who will hurt us and those who will be kind to us that we wanted those lessons and therefore you shouldn't feel bad if someone hurt you or bad things happen because you asked for it in order to develop and reach maturity as well as let go of past traumas and past negative karmas, but to you, what is your perspective on life, how do you see fate, how do you see karma, how do you see the whole world, is it a friendly place where you are meant to manifest your destiny for greatness no matter what or how is it, is it your personal choice no matter what and therefore maybe there is no destiny, it's all personally created or how do you perceive it? Well that's an amazing question no one asked me that before and I believe first of all in karma, karma is a good concept because karma means what's going to happen after I do something or after someone else does something because every in italian we say Faragnya Tionatya and Aratsya and Allah so for every action there's a reaction, we we need to know that so I want to believe that the world is a great place and we have to learn a lot, I can tell you because I'm in this part of the world is full of nature animals and I'm learning a lot from the nature, from the trees, from the sky because everything is like a circle so there's a sunset and yeah next day there's a sunrise, it means that we have to purify okay we can cry one day, be good the next day, it's all a cycle and I want to believe because I'm trying to reject all the negativity, toxicity that have been involved in the past years with the wrong people, I want to believe that choosing to see only the good things in life is making me feel better and it's actually the truth because you feel better, you don't cry anymore so I think it's just a choice you know. Thank you and I will play the devil's advocate a little bit, it doesn't mean I believe this but I want to understand your point to spoke about how life is cyclical and things can make you cry and then you can choose positivity but you're a girl who loves adventure, you said yourself that you love to jump on new adventures which means you love the full range of emotions, you love exciting new experiences which means risking negativity and hurt and disappointment and all that so how can you choose positivity if for many people especially those who need strong emotions often, being positive is boring because there isn't anything risky or exciting happening so how do you feed your sense of adventure? Are you saying like maybe you're in a phase now where you're like oh my god I had so much negativity, I have to take a break but then you will miss it you're like oh I missed that it was so exciting let me return to some drama or how does it work? That's amazing actually I'm Italian so we also love drama you know um for me it's not a phase it's more an approach because yes I'm positive but of course I love drama sometimes I love to talk to my friends I know all the gossip but what I mean is that I don't want to get involved too much in toxicity too much in negativity because it affects my mood so for me first of all I'm a person who loves exciting things adventures and I traveled a lot by myself in the past years and of course it's dangerous like many bad things happen especially to women traveling by themselves but also you learn because I got so and I was in danger many times some guys try to hurt me you know it's it's really bad in the moment but after years you understand wow thanks to that moment I'm stronger I'm smarter right now I know that I have to be more careful so this is what I mean I mean of course sometimes we are just why does he happen to me it happens for you actually there's always a lesson behind but I think it's good to to be angry to be vulnerable to be sad just not for too long you know that's what I mean thank you and I like that and there is a stereotype that people who love adventure and they love exciting travels etc are not deep at all yet you describe yourself as a deep person who analyzes which usually is an introvert trait while people who are into adventure are more extrovert and looking for quick thrills so how do both parts of your personality balance each other are you like an introvert who chose to live in exciting life and pretending to be an extrovert are you a Gemini so you have both parts of your personality active or how do you balance both that's a great question I mean I'm really extrovert because I speak to everyone and when especially when I travel when I meet new people from different cultures I love to get to know something from everyone of course I'm an introvert as well because I like to stay by myself I'm a bit a nerd I read a lot I read a book per week since January 1st so for me it's really important to stay by myself to think to meditate to analyze what I'm doing where I'm going and am I doing the right thing and to cry I mean to be angry it's important to talk to myself in the mirror that's the most important thing that saved my mental health especially I want to say because I understood that I have to appreciate myself especially when something wrong is going on I have to analyze every aspect of what I'm going through because I'm gonna find a solution I don't need anyone to tell me what to do I can find a solution by myself that's what I say to my friends and that's what it tells me as well so I mean it's hard actually to balance these parts but I think that being a happy person if you're happy with yourself you appreciate your body I have a problem with my immune system and it started to like bring me to the decline you know in the past year especially when you're living alone and you cannot talk to anyone but still after the years you understand that you have to appreciate yourself like you're unique so why should I cry when I am unique there's no one else like me what can I I mean bring to the word that is not of course it's not gonna be the same as someone else so it's really hard to balance these things I think I'm I mean the path of learning right now but it's really important to be adventurous but still understand there's a limit there's a limit of too much party there's a limit of too much work there's a limit of too much traveling you have to understand the balance and that's what I'm doing right now thank you and I notice you mentioned that before you were struggling and you had problems with your health and you were staying alone so I'm curious about that we live in a time where there is the impression or the illusion that there are social bonds we are forming because of social media but it means a lot of people don't have as many real life relationships what do you think about this and was traveling and meeting new people and you becoming an extrovert who talked to everyone a reaction to this like a solution to the social distancing that was created by the pandemic or because people are looking at their phone all day rather than living life you thought look I live in a city everybody is too busy so let me travel the world I will meet other travelers who are also very open very extroverted and outgoing and therefore I will have that human connection through finding where those people are which is on the trail of travels that's really really good question for me first of all I feel the energy I feel the energy when I talk to someone I know that I'm talking to you right now because I have to learn something from you and especially I know that I'm using social media because social media is a tool I mean we should use social media for business or for a purpose or to to feel better with ourselves but of course is not life real life is harder it's difficult and of course I mean we have to I have to I've talked for myself I have to spread I have this feeling of spreading positivity and feeling making other people feel grateful and happy because I know that everyone is suffering come on everyone is hurt sometime in their life everyone is crying and not joining on Instagram I do it as well I mean come on we are human but the thing is I think we all have a mission there's a really great book that I love is called Start With Y my Simon Cinek and it tells you what your mission I mean why are you born and why someone else is not born in your place because you have a mission so for me it's really important to define this mission and to say what am I doing and why so for what I'm doing right now is just trying to empower other people go travel go do the thing that you you didn't like go do the thing that is scaring you because that's what I'm doing with me so I mean you asked so many things but this I think it's the most important thing to empower others as you're doing with your podcast that is amazing I think it's a it's a great mission because you make other people feel good thank you so much you're very kind and what I believe is a lot of people say all too many people nowadays are living in their bubble and it's true but if it is true then it means we can create our own universe of great wonderful positive people who are not bullies or toxics and those people are not born next to us or like we grew up with them not necessarily but they can be anywhere in the world like you spoke about Malaysia or Maldives or Brazil or Paris or wherever and all life is about is about those souls who are meant to meet meeting and connecting in ways that wouldn't be possible if everybody stayed in their cocoon as well as empowering women because we live in a society where in many ways the mission or purpose that you spoke about tests us if you are on your mission it's actually harder the hardest road you can go on because it will really attack you with all your demons compared to you not going on your mission and your mission therefore is your pass for biggest growth as a person and therefore too for many women if they stay within their comfort zone or they feel shy or they feel that society is judging them they will never find their mission and purpose or even if they find it they will not feel confident in order to follow it and to grow and reach their ultimate potential and that's part of what is important to me to do with this podcast to empower women even those who participate they think oh my god I participated in a podcast what else can I do in this world some were inspired to start their own podcast or projects etc but to ask you from your own perspective we live in a time where people know what they don't want but almost nobody knows what they want they have no idea what is their mission and they worry oh my god if I pick the wrong why like Simon Sinek is book about what if I'm on the wrong path then I will regret it I will be wasting time let me wait wait wait maybe I will wait longer and I will discover my mission but if they don't try anything they can never find it to you how did you find the confidence in order to discover your mission how do you know it is your mission is it temporary and then it will evolve and what is your advice for women in general and girls whether teenagers or intertwenties etc who don't feel they have found their mission they don't feel confident to search for it or to pursue it in order for them to arrive there and therefore they will know okay my mission like you said is to feel the energy to share the joy and positivity and empower others you said that about yourself how can the other women find it for themselves if they didn't already well first of all I would say to any every single woman on this planet it's okay if it's not your why it's okay life is a journey we are used to in Europe in the US all over the the first word first word first word sorry I would say it's really great to see how the word is fast everyone is running especially Milan everyone runs fast I have to do this I have to do that I have this deadline but at the end of the day what what do we want to do actually in real life that's what I thought in my personal perspective I would say that first of all we have to take distance as I did because I was living in two years for two years sorry in Dubai and Dubai is a really fast city as well growing a lot I love it but I needed to stop for a bit to realize really what I want to do what what makes me happy and what is my mission I think the biggest suggestion I would say to a girl a woman a person is that it's important to stop to breathe and to stay with yourself talk to the mirror talk to your twin in the mirror as I call it I'm only child so I don't have twins but she's my twin in the mirror and she looks at me and we talk and I ask her so what do you want to do what makes you happy I think it's a really positive exercise I started doing it when I had COVID and I couldn't I was in a horrible situation in Spain but that's another story maybe another day and I realized that I only have myself like I'm stuck with myself for every single day of my life forever so why should I feel anxiety and pressure I have to enjoy every single moment so what makes me happy right now this is the point that we should analyze like we are doing this podcast because it makes you happy I'm trolling because it makes me happy so I think everyone should find what what is really the source of happiness and if you're scared to do something it means it's the right thing that's what I understood so I think it's just like as you said you travel you meet people from different corners of the world you you attract the right energy because you're the good you're a good person you're a positive person so I believe in a lot of attraction obviously and I think the best advice would be this just stay by yourself analyze yourself do meditation so I thought you're serving the mirror even if it sounds weird but you will discover many things about yourself I love that perspective and you spoke a lot about energy again and again and again how do you experience it if they were like some aliens from another planet and they came to earth and you are the official simultaneous translator and they wanted to ask you and say what is this energy thing how do you feel people's energy where does it come from is it like a divine energy within the right people while the wrong people have like some devil energy or like Dante an infernal energy or something like that what is that energy how do you perceive it how do you know the good people from the bad people how do you know like when before you were in situations that were bad did you feel from the beginning that the energy was wrong within the person but you try to say no I don't know let me give them a chance and you did not trust the red flags you felt or how does it work for you yes exactly I trust my gut I learned to trust my gut because I avoided constantly many red flags too many so right now the rule is first red flag means run you have to run because your mental health is a most important thing women men children everyone so I think this is the message that we have to bring to the world nowadays especially strong women because many people think women know she cannot do it no we are powerful we can change the world and we are actually doing it so for me energy is especially I love reading about psychology so I can talk for hours about it but what I learned for the years especially with all the bad experience that have been through and there are a lot a lot a lot including sleeping in the street and blah blah so on maybe an hour day but I would say that you have to understand that you have two sides you have a good side you have a bad side so if you see something bad is someone else maybe you accept it you how do you say avoid it as I did because you say yeah maybe this person can change you are like positive about the change but people don't people do not change so I think it's a part of us that we have to understand that's why talking to the mirror is really important and we don't have to avoid red flags that's the most important thing but trusting the gut in my case and I think in in many people's cases as well it's the most important thing because if I meet you and since the first conversation we had I got a really positive energy from you I know that this is a good thing sometimes and maybe I'm wrong maybe I feel yeah this is a good feeling but then is a bad person you know you never know but I think trusting the gut is really important always of course if it's a dangerous thing as I did in my case it's always better to ask maybe an opinion of our best friends our parents because they always know the best for us so our loved ones I would say but yeah trusting my gut always that's why I'm still high when I'm still here and as I said before it's always a lesson I mean right now I know that I cannot do stuff when I travel by myself because it's dangerous so it's always a lesson and I mean I'm a better person thanks to that I really agree 100% and I want to ask a question that is related and tangential you travel the world you have been from Milano to going to live in Dubai and now traveling all over Asia etc maybe some girls they dream of traveling alone or not but they think oh I don't know if I can make new friends I don't know or some girls they decided to go study in another city or another country where they don't have friends what is your method or advice or approach if you are in a new city in order to make new friends what if some girls worry oh if I get rejected or people tell me to go away if I speak to some strangers and as well as how do you begin and build friendships and communications with people do you believe it's done in a way where you have some ideas that you try to share about yourself and understand about themselves or is it all energetic and it's enough to show up and say hello and the right people will be attracted to your energy and the wrong people they will not and therefore it's not about what you do it's about who you are or how is it in your mind that's amazing amazing question actually for me of course I have never been so like open to speak into everyone but that's the thing that I learned for the years so in the beginning I started to travel by myself when I was like 15 years old so like this in in Europe normally we study abroad in the summer I used to go to the UK to England and to Ireland also to study English and I realized that you if you're alone you always have to go speak first to the people who is alone that's it your friends will be the the nerds and lonely people like you because I mean we are all alone in this world we are born alone we do have to be scared the first time I spoke to someone by myself when I was alone in I think it was in Ireland yeah when I was really really young I was scared yes but maybe you can start with a joke a joke you know oh my god look at look at this bird I know it's just funny you know and you start laughing with someone you see the right energy you start a conversation maybe that's basic and maybe you go get an ice cream or I recommend to be honest to stay with people that is happy happy and create and spreading right energy but also of course if you don't know someone and it happened to me before when I was maybe traveling around hostels typically sleeping in hostels and staying out late at night I wouldn't recommend to make friends in the night and in a festival or someone that I mean you're by yourself and you're at night and you don't know who can save you is something if something happens on but you know what I mean I'm just trying to say be in a safe environment I think you just have to push yourself and it's great because this is a really good exercise you will learn that you can speak to everyone and once you start speaking to people in the street it's an addiction you cannot stop because every time you speak to someone especially from a different culture you will learn so much and it's it's so good it makes you feel so good because when I am in Italy and staying home all the year long I mean you don't have to go to Australia to learn this thing there are social media now we are it's better for us but once you start speaking with people who you will never meet in your home country you will get so many good vibes and especially so much knowledge that first of all will delete all the notions that we have in our brain because you know when when we are born our society puts a lot of negativity in our brain racism homophobia just a few examples so you will learn to accept others to accept yourself and you will learn how our people is living and maybe what society tells us is wrong guess what it's wrong so I think it's really important to just just push yourself just go speak to everyone it's okay if they reject you it's fine say thanks and move on because maybe they are not in their face yet where they are willing to open to the others and it's okay everyone is in phases everyone is in cycles if they reject you okay fine they don't deserve me maybe next time thank you so much Lelia for all this wisdom I understand and see and notice how deep you are I wish you a lot of safe adventures full of excitement a lot of great people in your life and to keep going with your why and your mission of spreading good energy and positivity thank you for being in this podcast thank you so much as is for the opportunity and I wish a lot of peace joy and happiness in life