E051 Anna Tokar

Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 0:00 your femininity is powerful in all its forms exceptional women. Rare girls must be appreciated in every way for their perspectives, actions, thoughts, and their unique ways of being such rare girls are inspiring. And this is what this podcast is all about. Hello, my name is Aziz and my guest today is Ana tocar. Ani is an extraordinarily bright and creative individual from Kyiv, Ukraine. She has used her experience in different life areas and communication skills to inspire teens across Ukraine to improve their lifestyles, a passionate promoter of self improvement and lifelong learning. Omni recognizes that her generation is rife with mental health issues because of social media. And she's also really into exploring and discussing numerous social issues. She uses her social media, networking skills and self education to uplift her peers and offer a helping hand. This spreads to her gentle promotion of gratefulness, ethical behavior and constant learning throughout life which she communicates without any sense of forcefulness. And he is also passionate about learning English. That's why she's part of the Natasha marks language school, as well as already been an engine student for about a year. Her hobbies are pretty diverse. She enjoys expressing herself creatively throughout writing, painting, video editing, graphic design, scrapbooking, journaling, public speaking, crafting, photography, and post grossing. And he took first place at the 20th international competition in the Ukrainian language named after Petro Yatseniuk in Kyiv, Ukraine 2019 And nowadays she does her best to help other people to become fluent in the Ukrainian language. Andy, how are you today? Anna Tokar 2:25 Oh, it's thanks. So nice. I'm really, really happy and excited to be a part of your podcast today. And how have you been actually Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 2:33 feeling grateful to be alive? I'm feeling happy and very curious about you as a person and individuals. So Arnie, if your friends were to describe your personality, what would they say about you? Anna Tokar 2:49 Um, I think that probably say like, straightaway, that I'm quite creative, really frank and even chatty. Because that's for sure describes me I'm really active really enjoy interacting with people. And I definitely say that I'm an extroverted person, like for sure. Enjoy creating, you know, that's basically my hobbies really express that these traits of character. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 3:18 I love people who use the word, character and strength of character, it's really important. And then you have so many things that you're working on, tell me more about mental health issues among teens, and whether you have experienced it yourself even before the war. And of course, now it's probably everybody. Anna Tokar 3:43 Yeah, naturally, that's kind of a big deal for many teens and just people around the world in general. There's so much stuff going on with anxiety, mental issues, and mental disorders. And I'm kind of happy that nowadays so many people start speaking about it, especially with like celebrities, and really influencers. They start opening up about it and telling their stories, which is really helpful for young people and just people who are like, Oh, my goodness, what's going on in my life, I feel really weird. And maybe that's not normal, but they're like, it's alright. You just need to ask for help. You just need to go there and do such things. And I guess this spreading this awareness around people is a really good thing to do. So about my experience, I guess. We all experienced things like you know, burn out and everything even before war. But after war after the beginning of the whole, the entire like scale of Ukraine. I guess I faced some, some symptoms of anxiety a little bit. And just in general, there's this weird state where You feel like you're stuck, and you can't do a thing. You're worried constantly, you're worrying. And you just know don't know what to do. So you really tried to support each other. And that said, so I guess the main thing is just to talk, and to try to get through this together with people you love with your significant others, with your family, with your friends. And that's the main thing, I really try to try to spread this idea. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 5:29 Thank you, that's really important. And how does gratefulness play a part? In this? How does it impact people? As well as do you believe that Ukraine has a culture of gratitude? Anna Tokar 5:44 It's a good one, actually, you know, I think I started realizing and exploring all of this topic around gratefulness, like a few years ago, and it was like more about, you know, noticing some little things in our life and being grateful for them. Because you never know what's going to happen next, and living in this like constant rat, where you feel like you have to achieve anything, it's really, really energy consuming. And for the past couple of years, I just realized I need to, to enjoy this moment and enjoy little things that happen to me throughout every every single day and be grateful for them. So speaking of Ukraine, I guess, again, for the past few years, it became more and more popular to really appreciate little things, especially after 24th of February, we just started to appreciate every morning, we wake up and we just like, you know, feel grateful to be alive, to live this day, and to be able to talk to close people to your family. And everything, I guess, we just realized and our values change a lot. So I guess, yeah, this culture of gratitude definitely improved. From the 21st of February, for sure. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 7:09 I agree, I met a lot of people who say, like you mentioned, they were in the rat race, always sacrificing today, pushing for tomorrow. And then now they appreciate the little moment, the time with family, time walking in nature, etc. Without that constant stress of achievement. And tell me more about social media, you are seeing it as a positive as a way to educate yourself to network better, but for a lot of people, it's a cause of comparison of seeing themselves as inferior to some created perfect imaginary lives of a few who don't even live always that way they live to take those photos momentarily, and then return to their lives. How did you discover that there is an impact of social media on other people on young people? And how did you turn it into something positive? Anna Tokar 8:13 Gosh, I love it, you know, this question and just discussing social media in general. And nowadays, when this culture is like, in the industry is enormous. It's really fascinating to me. And I'd say that, that about both sides, about social media. On one hand, you're like, Oh, my goodness, this is a great opportunity to explore other people's lifestyles, and maybe pick up some new habits because, you know, courses, books, whatever, to really improve yourself. And it's a really good source of that. But on the other hand, you feel like it, as you mentioned, like effects, so many teens and people in general, they start comparing themselves to other people out there, they start feeling anxious, they start feeling like they're not good enough. Again, this thing with body image, and when you feel like you have to fit into these standards that society really created. So I guess, again, with promoting this idea of mental health and mental well being, many people started to really clean that space on social media, like they unfollow people that they seem to compare themselves to. And they tried to be really eco friendly in there. So yeah, care about that themselves on social media as well. But at the same time, again, it's still sometimes hard to decipher what's good for you and what's not. And many people promote different ideas. So I guess it's more about educating yourself about that, and trying to filter out all the content you consume because there's a lot is specially like, you know, in the 21st century, where we're like, surrounded by tons of content every single second. So it's important for me like it's a form of self care where you try to filter all that and really leave everything that motivates you and affects you in a positive way. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 10:20 Thank you. That's really, really important. And I noticed in the intro, you mentioned that you like to communicate with people and advise them without any sense of forcefulness. Do you feel that a lot of people who are trying to elevate others are somehow trying to trap or force others into what's good, which pushes them away? And what is important about not having such a sense of forcefulness? What does it mean? What's your opinion about it? Anna Tokar 10:57 Yeah, thanks for that question. Actually, I have a really nice example, about it, especially like nowadays, so many Ukrainians tried to switch from Russian to Ukrainian language. And this is really a great example of that. So for example, some people are like, Oh, my goodness, you still speak Russian, it's awful. And for example, this person had been speaking, has been speaking Russian for his entire life, or for his entire life. And they're like, it's really hot, it's hard to switch. Or when you've been talking in this language with your mother, when you had fans who speak Russian, and you've been communicating with them for your entire life. And it's really hard to switch like, you know, straight this second. So this chart, this is like a period, and you have to give this people time, and to really switch. So I guess it's the same with everything you promote as a person. And with all your thoughts and opinions on anything. It just about, you know, spreading your thoughts having done but no, forcefulness should be required in that. So like really sharing is not forcing people to do that. If I speak Ukrainian, it doesn't really mean that I forced you to speak Ukrainian straight this moment. I mean, like, it's pleasing to me. And I'm happy about that. So you'd like switched from Russian to Ukrainian. But in general, it should be really nice, really gentle. Because for sure, for many people, they start feel a feeling really embarrassed, for example, their language or the way they speak, or doesn't really matter. They just feel like they can't do perfectly well, or something. So it's more about being really caring and supportive during whatever this person is trying to reach to achieve. And just helping them no forcefulness no pressure in that, because this pressure, then people feel really aggressive. And they start like being oh my goodness, I'm not gonna do that just because you really judged me all the time, and they feel this pressure. So everything should be like nice, gentle and friendly, I guess. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 13:19 Thank you. And it's so important that you mentioned language. I know you're an avid English language learner, you're even helping others learn English, etc. How do you feel the English language and perfecting it and learning it will change the future of Ukrainian teams? How important is it? Does it open doors for people focus more since you're also about the Ukrainian language on their Ukrainian language? Or on English or both? Tell me your opinion about this. Anna Tokar 13:54 Yeah, I guess. Like you teaching people, I mean, like I teach old people as well, like not all but who are older than me. And almost all of them doesn't matter. It's like about Ukrainian or English, or they really focus on being extremely perfect and doing everything right from the second they start speaking. But as I always say, practice makes perfect. And it doesn't really mean that you have to be perfect from the from the first lesson from the first minute you start speaking, it's about practicing is about mastering. It's about surrounding yourself with language. You know, watching something, listening to something, reading something. And if you put away all the pressure you have on yourself and you feel like you have to be perfect. It's a lot easier to improve. It's easier to find like minded people and start maybe communicating and practicing with them. Again, it's important to remember that mistakes are a part of our journey. And that's totally fine to make them No one's perfect in this world, even native speakers, they make mistakes, they make them a lot. And for many learners, whatever language they're learning, it's important to remember that it takes time to master to improve to be as good as you wish to. But at the same time, the thing that you're putting effort into learning a new language or into mastering language you already learning is incredible. And, for example, I know some foreigners who learn Ukrainian, and who've been living in Ukraine for some time already. And I'm really proud and happy to see them speaking Ukrainian. Because it feels like Oh, my goodness, this person, put so much effort into learning Ukrainian to add in new words, and to mastery and all that. And now they're really speaking, they're being interviewed and everything. And I feel so proud that they put this effort and started exploring my culture through language. So for sure, language is not about being perfect all the time. It's about expanding your boundaries about exploring new culture through language because like, you know, with English, as you could probably already see, I'm moving to the UK RP version of the accent into British one. And I feel like this helped me a lot to explore British culture and in different parts of the UK and everything. And that's incredible power of learning and new language. It definitely opens so many doors in your life, and you start exploring new culture, their, their traditions and everything. So that's, that's the thing I love about language learning. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 16:49 I agree with you on 100%. Is that's very well said. And again, to speak about Ukraine. How was that day, February 24. For you? What is the story of the day for you? Where were you? How did you hear about the war? How did you feel tell me everything? Anna Tokar 17:09 Oh, God, like, an extreme change of topic. It's this day is definitely will stay in my memory like for for the whole for the rest of my life. I mean, I live with my parents still. And we were just like, you know, my mom had COVID. So for the past couple of days, we've been staying at home, on like, our quarantine lockdown thing. And then I woke up around 6am. And I was like, I woke up from my mom speaking really loudly. I was like, Mom, why are you speaking so loud on your phone and what's going on? And she was still on the phone. And my father came to me and he was like, daughter was started. And I was like, Oh, my goodness, what? What did you say? That was really hard to comprehend at first. And still, I can't fully realize that this could happen in the 21st century in my country. And it was really hard for all of us. And I can't say that it was like really unexpected. Because for like a month already, people have been talking and there have been rumors about all that, that Russia could get into our country. And it was really hard. And it's still hard every single day. I feel like I feel the spine of my country. And yesterday, we had our Independence Day. And all the like, the interviews and everything from our President. I'm really proud of him. And I'm really proud of our country. And I still feel like we've been a little stuck and all that. And we were still stuck in waiting for for our victory, actually. And I hope it's hope it's gonna end as soon as possible and we're gonna win, and their support and everything. It's incredible. And everything going on around in the wild as well. It sounds harsh, a little. But I feel like we should ask as Ukrainians, we should have experienced this then in a life that's horrible and terrible thing as war to maybe understand something to get this experience to have this value reordering thing, and I guess it's still hot. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 19:50 I agree with you. I actually was there and Kyiv on February 24 when the bomb beings started and I I stayed there for eight days trying to evacuate and everything. So I had the full experience to you. Your friends, maybe are all over the world now. Many Ukrainians are in North America, in Europe and Australia, everywhere. Do you feel that because the war continued for six months now that a lot of them will have started a new life, new schools, new jobs, and therefore, they will think, Well, in Ukraine, we don't know whether our homes are still okay. The economy is probably Superbad. So let's live abroad and continue our lives there. Or do you imagine that as soon as there is victory for Ukraine, everybody will rush back home and return? Anna Tokar 20:49 No doubt, it depends on people. And I guess I have both in my in my surrounding. I feel like for many Ukrainians, unfortunately, they used a war as an opportunity to get from Ukraine to get out of Ukraine and to go live abroad. Which is like fine for them. I can't judge anyone in here, because there's their personal story for every family in Ukraine, for every person, but I guess they really tried to, to, to just go abroad and leave that. And that's their choice. Some other people as well, they're staying abroad, and they're waiting for for week three to come. So they can come back to Ukraine, because we love Ukraine with Allah hot. And I've been here in Ukraine for the footfall the entire six months of war going on from the 24th of February. And I'm so happy about that. I'm so happy that I was blessed with God to stay here. And I just really hope that so many people will eventually come back and start rebuilding Ukraine start improving our country, and making it even better than it was before, before everything before all the events that happened. And yeah, I feel like so many people are now really inspired with the idea of our future with the idea of us Ukrainians living in Ukraine, and working on a country on our culture, and sharing it with other foreigners and everybody in the world. So yeah, this idea of our incredible Bright Future really keeps me up, keeps me energized and motivated me to wake up every morning. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 22:56 I love that. Although there are some psychologists and experts who say, this war caused and will cause deep trauma within the psyche of Ukrainians that it will need two or three generations for people to become normal again. And that even in the case of victory, there will be a lot more depression, anxiety, terror, and other horrible emotions. Do you agree with this? Or do you feel that as soon as there will be a victory in Ukraine, this will heal the whole society and people will feel so proud and strong, that they will not be affected by any traumas. Anna Tokar 23:40 Now, definitely no, because I mean, we're going to be really excited and thrilled and extremely happy when our victory comes. But at the same time, I'm sure so many people are going to have mental disease and issues for a long, long years, just because it's an enormous amount that happened in our lives. And it touched everybody. And I guess this is kind of like grave for everyone for every Ukrainian and it's definitely a kind of trauma for everybody their personal trauma. And I just hope that we're gonna get through it, we're gonna go to some specialist or psychologist and really work with mental health and try to keep up with it. And this is just now it's a part of our personality, and we can't remove it, cut it out. That's, that's how it is, you know? So I just hope that we're gonna work on our mental health together and help our kids to live happier. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 24:58 Thank you, Arne. This was an important conversation, a truly enriching podcast and all I can say is Slava Ukraini. Anna Tokar 25:08 Heroyam Slava and I'm again so grateful for you having me today on your podcast and wish you all the best with your projects, and everything and sharing galss stories. Thanks a lot. You're welcome.