E061 Alina Dorosh

Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 0:00 your femininity is powerful in all its forms, exceptional women, rare girls must be appreciated in every way for their perspectives, actions, thoughts, and their unique ways of being. Such rare girls are inspiring. And this is what this podcast is all about. Hello, my name is Aziz and my guest today is Alena de Roche. Alina is a flex alumna of 2016, in the United States in Virginia, where she studied at an American High School, and lived with a host family for 10 months. Alena studied Arabic language and literature at Taras Shevchenko National University of give, and also at Kuwait University. And she recently graduated with a master's degree she loves dancing, taking photos, and cooking. Alina, how are you today? Alina Dorosh 1:12 Hi, thank you for this introduction. I'm doing great. How are you? Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 1:16 I'm feeling positive. Always keep in life full of surprises. Curious about you. And to know you're much better? I have so many questions. But I'll begin with a nice one, which is if your friends were to describe your personality, what would they say about you Alina Dorosh 1:35 probably open minded, because I'm always ready for something new to try something interesting. I'm also very responsible. I would say these two would characterize me the most Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 1:50 Thank you. But they seem to me honestly contradictory. Because if you're open minded and willing to try new things that has a degree of risk to it, while being responsible means to minimize risk. So how do you combine these both parts of your personality, Alina Dorosh 2:09 I would say I am responsible in a way that whatever I do, I make sure to do it to the best of my ability, whether it's studying or work. But in just everyday life, when it comes to for example, deciding what to have for dinner, or trying a new restaurant, I like cooking and food. So a lot of my samples will be about food. So in that way, I am open to something new, and as well as with traveling and deciding to study abroad. That's probably where my love for trying new things steps in. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 2:50 Yes. And that will love to ask about cuisine and food, etc. And I'm noticing a hint of a British accent in your speaking. So what's up with that? Since mostly you're focused on the US, and living in the US and all those wonderful things? Did you have a fascination for the British culture? Or Harry Potter? Or where does it come from? Alina Dorosh 3:18 It's actually very, very funny that you mentioned it because I have always been focused on American accent. And I had no idea I have a sense of British. I do like the way it sounds. But I wouldn't say that. I particularly try to speak with British accent. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 3:43 Thank you. And earlier you mentioned to me that you had this gift or ability with languages. How did you discover it? How did it develop? How did you know it was something special? Because the interesting thing about our strength is that they seem so normal for us well, to other people that are extra ordinary, Alina Dorosh 4:07 I would say so I studied in, in a school in in Ukraine in Vinnitsa in my home city that was focused on foreign languages. So growing up, I had English since my first grade, and then German starting the fourth grade fifth, sorry, greater school. And I always wanted to, as I said, Whatever I do, I tried to do it to the best of my ability. So when it comes to studying English, I paid a lot of attention to the way I pronounce words and I was listening to a lot of music or watching a lot of movies and TV series in English with subtitles. I guess that's how I became good at it. And in general I feel like the moral languages you speak, there's a good thing that I like it's, the more languages you speak, the more of a person you are, meaning that with every new language you learn, it opens a new perspective and the way you look at the world and see other cultures and people in general. So that's what fascinates me about learning different languages, and I try to be good at Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 5:23 it. I love that. Because, you know, the interesting things about accumulating different perspectives to look at the world is that that's the definition of wisdom. And that's what develops there for me, I love languages, I speak six of them. And it's because for a personal reason, where I grew up, I didn't feel that I belonged anywhere. And then I thought, Oh, my God, if I learn languages, I can go to places experience, the local life and find my paradise or my home, or where I feel most comfortable. So languages were to me a way to experience the reality of a place, rather than the touristy side of it. And that's really the way that I have seen it. And again, to return to asking about you, you basically Chase excellence and everything you do, you want to do it to the best of your ability, but by definition, most people don't. There is even in economics, and in business theory, something called the agency problem, which is if you have an employee or a manager or whatever, they will do the bare minimum to not get fired, because that's in their best interest rather than not. So what motivates you to do the best of your ability at everything? Is it something you're always had? And you have reasons for? Is it something you discovered that in this world to stand out and have a bright future? You have to be that way? Or how did it go? Alina Dorosh 6:58 That's a very interesting question. This is going to be a very deep interview, I believe. So growing up, I had a great, great example of my cousin. She is 11 years older than me, and I consider her to be very successful. And I guess growing up with this example, made me also want to want to achieve the best results. But honestly, I don't even notice it. Not that I don't notice it anymore. But it's just become such a big part of my personality that sometimes bothers me. Because it makes me inconvenient, as you said, right? A lot of times employees, they just want to do the bare minimum, because that's, that requires the least effort of them. To me, it's just a part of who I am. If I do something, I try to do it good. Because I don't see a point in trying to do something if you're not going to do the best you can, if that makes sense. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 8:12 It does. And actually, I don't know if what you mentioned when you said inconvenient to me when I had after university, my very first job, I was doing such an excellent job that other employees were telling me, oh my God, you're making us look so bad. Stop doing this. It was like, but I'm not doing it for you. I'm not doing it for clout, or whatever it is, but it's to me. Okay, let me explain it. It's the sense that when you wake up in the morning, and you look at yourself in the mirror, and you're proud of the person you see there, you don't see someone who is living, like less than their potential. Of course, we're not perfect. We don't always like sometimes burnout and etc. But at least I can say, I have tried my very, very, very best. And therefore I cannot regret or think, oh no, if I did better if I did more, I cannot say that. It's not about the outcomes. We don't control them, as in the Bhagavad Gita, which is like a Hindustani religious text. It says, you have the right to your labor, but you don't have the right to the fruits of your labor. So to me, it's about the process, fall in a love with it. Having quality in it because the rest is not under our control. So quality will at least make you feel you're a high quality person who has character. Do you know what I Alina Dorosh 9:44 mean? That actually resonates with me a lot. Tell me about Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 9:47 cuisine because I love food. First, I mean, I don't know. Because it seems to me. There are two kinds of people I guess in this world, those who love to eat the food and those who Love to create it and share that experience with others. Are you both are you one of them? Tell me more. Alina Dorosh 10:06 I guess I'm both. So I enjoy tasty food. I like eating it. But at the same time, I love creating it. My favorite time of the day is breakfast, and not even morning. But breakfast. I love cooking it. And it just sets me in the right mood for the day. Because I can make whatever I want. I want it to be on a beautiful plate with a beautiful serving. And that just makes me calm and relaxed. And I just love everything about it. And cooking in general is a very big stress relief for me. So whenever I feel maybe angry or stressed, or said, I just go and cook. And it helps me just to clear up my mind and create something beautiful and hopefully delicious. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 11:05 I love that. And you mentioned beautiful, and hopefully delicious. So do you take a lot of care for the presentation of the food? Because I have experienced situations where there is food that looks really bad, but it's so delicious and tasty to you. But tell me do you consider it like a work of art? Something that you try to harmonize the colors and create shapes and see it as your canvas? Or what does it mean when you say beautiful in that way? Yes. Alina Dorosh 11:39 So I take a lot of time, I would say an effort to make the dish the final dish look look good. So I while the food can be tasty, and served in a simple plain and simple bowl, you know, without any consideration to how it looks. I am a big fan of the food looking good. So I like it to be neatly served on a beautiful plate. beautifully organized on the plate. Because while I do want to enjoy the taste, I also want to enjoy the way it looks. So it's it's two parts to it to me, Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 12:28 I love that it reminds me actually for Buddhists of Buddhism. And let me explain why. Because we live in a fast paced world where everybody is getting quicker and quicker to the next thing. So they're already thinking about the future not experiencing the moment, there is a kind of movement is called the slow movement. Or even for me, I love slow reading. I used to read like multiple books per week, but then you remember almost nothing. So now I sit with a page of a book, and a journal and I write down my thoughts and I have a conversation in my mind about with the author or maybe their dad or whatever. But I find that I extract a lot more joy and life becomes much more flavorful. Or Feeco, as I say in Spanish, which is like rich but rich and flavor and experiences. And therefore to me, I believe or I sense you're someone who probably is kinesthetic and kinesthetic people are usually good at dancing, feeling emotions deeply and therefore to you the present moment. And making it bigger by experiencing every nuance of it is really what it means to be alive rather than people who might live in the future always planning or in the past always regretting and wondering what if is this correct? Did I guess right? Tell me more. Alina Dorosh 13:58 I would say that I try to be more like that. So um, I've heard about slow movement is slow, Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 14:05 slow life movement, everything. It could be even meditative eating. So if I'm Alina Dorosh 14:11 not mistaken, it actually started with the the idea of eating slowly and enjoying the food. And to me, I try to be more like that meaning more present in the moment. Especially with the war. I'm starting to give more appreciation and value to the life that I have. And I try to actually enjoy every moment of it to the best of my ability. And it's sometimes hard for me to stop constantly thinking about future and planning to just stop and be in the moment. So I'm very, very glad that I give this impression because cuz that's what I tried to be. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 15:01 I like that I have so many things we can talk about. But I noticed you used specifically the phrase off to the best of my ability three times. Now, why that phrase? Is it like a mantra you have? Is it like the Serenity Prayer somehow that you modified? Or where does it come from? Alina Dorosh 15:22 I haven't even paid attention to it. That's interesting. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 15:25 Yeah, because you could have used synonyms other ways, but specifically in the same way, as if it's like a preacher of anything finishing a sermon or whatever, to the best of my ability with the exact intonations. But, look, tell me about the war. How was that day the invasion February 24. I know the war has been going on for eight years or probably more. And that day, I was actually in give, I experienced the whole sirens, the bombs, the evacuation eight days, around sheltering and trying to find a way and all that stuff. But do you How did you hear about the war? How did you like did you believe it? What? How did you feel what happened? Tell me everything. Alina Dorosh 16:17 It's actually an interesting story. Because the day before, on the 23rd of February, in the evening, I took a nap. And I had a dream of bombings in my city. So I just had a dream that I was lying on, like, on my bed next to the window. And I looked out, you know, outside, and I saw just a lot of smoke. And I couldn't hear anything, because there had been an explosion before that. So it was just like, all muted. And in my dream, I went to my mom trying to speak to her, but I couldn't like hear what she was saying, or even what I was saying. So I woke up terrified. I went to my mom, and I said, you know, I just had this terrifying dream. And she's, wow, that's, that's a hell of a dream. And so then the next morning, on the 24th of February, I actually woke up to my mom sitting next to my bed telling me, Well, the war started, you know, they started bumping Kyiv there were a few explosions and Vinnitsa in my city. And it just felt surreal. You know, I felt like I was still dreaming. And I would actually wake up and everything would be okay. So, that day, was very, very stressful. I couldn't do anything. So I would start, you know, packing. And then the next second, oh, no, I have to tech some and then the next second, okay, I need to eat something, okay, I need to go and buy some water. So I couldn't get I couldn't stay focused and concentrated on one thing. And it was just a chaotic day. So what I did to calm myself, my calm myself down was actually make breakfast. I spent maybe 30 minutes, just trying to relax, which didn't quite work. But it did make me feel a little better. And then my mom and I, and then my cousin with her family, we actually left the same day. We wanted to just get to the safer place because it was really scary. And we didn't know what to expect. So we spent, I guess, like 14 or 16 hours at the border with Moldova to leave the country. And then from there, we we just went different directions. I went to the States to stay with my relatives here. My mom ended up going to Great Britain. And then my cousin with her family came back to Ukraine after two months. And Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 19:09 you're thank you that makes me think of so many things. And I remember that day and the trauma of it. I remember even after I left, when you hear sirens that love ambulance or whatever it reminded me of the air raid, siren, siren stuff, but also two things. One, how breakfast is your meditation, it makes me think of comfort foods where food can psychologically give you well being because it's so delicious. So it has been working on for a long time that it's part of human nature but also this premonition that you had and since you're a dancer I imagine you are like those Oracle dancer priestesses or whatever it is in the Greek mythology. With dance and Bellary dolls that are supposed to expose what's going to happen in the future. So what are your metaphysical thoughts or perspectives or spiritual beliefs that allow you to even open that channel of being able to nap and see a glimpse of the future? Do you believe? Reality? is like all objective? Do you believe that? We're all called connected? Like, all souls are connected? And everything happens for us? As a lesson to teach us to love more and to grow better? Do you feel that things can be manifested or not? Tell me your whole thing. I don't know. Maybe you're a girl who's constantly doing tarot and yoga, all that stuff? Alina Dorosh 20:50 Well, it is a very interesting question. I am not into tarot, or trying to tell future. I did, though, have a few similar dreams after the war started, of just my city, being bombed. And one of those dreams was actually a few days before there was a missile strike and Vinnitsa. So I actually find it a bit terrifying. In general, I believe in people, and in our ability to create the future that we want for us. And the thought that has been with me for some time now, which is actually inspired by my favorite movie, which is called Mr. Nobody. It's about the power of choices, and how every little choice that we make, actually may lead us to a different destination. And while we may spend a lot of time thinking about what choice is the best or which decision is the right one. In the end, every path is the right path. That's the quote from this movie that I absolutely love. And I try to live by it, whenever there is a difficult decision that I have to make. Because it's hard, and very stressful, worrying about the outcome. And I said that I believe in people, right, that we can create the future that we want. But at the same time, it's a little terrifying that our future is in our hands. You know, it's both empowering and scary. So to not feel as scared about it, I just try to remember that whatever choice I make is the right choice for that moment. And every path is the right path. So I hope that answers your question. As for the philosophy or ideas that I live with, Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 23:00 I love that that's a beautiful quote and great attitude. And it really is important to have, because otherwise people will stay too much in their comfort zone. If they think oh my god, there is one right answer and 99 wrong ones Am I wrong, etc. But no. I remember in the training for the Air Force pilots, those like military pirate pilots, they tell them look, make any decision possible. If you make 51% correct decisions, you will win, like we will win the war. So it's not, you know, hesitation doesn't really work or I think it's the Navy SEALs where they have their 9070 50 rule, which is 90% of the time, you will only have 70% of the information you need and 50% of your decisions will still be wrong. So that's why they they say and it's a beautiful thing and very correct. And before we finish I'm curious about something are you someone you said you love people who maybe has like a bitch face who doesn't open up to people easily who people are intimidated by and they think oh my god, she's so angry all the time, even if you're happy? Or are you someone who's always open or maybe to some people you met some people you had instant chemistry with you feel oh my god, I like this person. I feel I know them all my life. But to most people you need slowly to warm up. Tell me about yourself. Alina Dorosh 24:44 I would say that I am more of an introverted person. And yes, it does take some time for me to warm up to a person. So as soon as I start feeling comfortable with the person. I am quite loud, fun. I hope I'm always fun. But it's easier for me to be fun when I've opened up and like warmed up to a person. There is an interesting thing that I've noticed when I came to the States is that there's this idea of Ukrainians, or Eastern European people sometimes that we don't smile, you know that we are always grumpy and looking like we're ready to hurt someone. And I found it really funny, like, no are actually very nice, you know. But then when I came back to Ukraine, I was like, Okay, I see what you mean. So, people in the States, for example, they're always smiling. But I would say that it's probably not always sincere. You know, it's just a cultural thing, a habit, you know, to always smile, and to always show that you are happy and that you're having a good day. And while I find that nice to look at, I would say, right, it's nice to see smiling people. At the same time, I support the idea of feeling the emotions that you're feeling right now, letting yourself experience them. And if you're feeling sad, not trying to just squeeze out the smile, that is not sincere. So if I'm feeling happy, yes, I'm open, I'm smiling. And I look like I'm ready for someone to approach to me. But if I'm feeling sad, lately, I've come to the understanding that I don't have to pretend that I'm happy. Because that way, it's easier for me to just go through this emotion and let it go. And then be sincerely happy and excited to meet other people. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 27:01 I agree. It's all about authenticity. The people who you open up with, you show your crazy side or your loud side, what's different about them, compared to people who you keep at a distance, even through time, Alina Dorosh 27:20 I like sincere people. Again, I like people who are not afraid of showing themselves as they really are. of people who aren't afraid to make mistakes, and maybe be a little bit humiliated and embarrassed. So I open up to people who are open, actually, about who they are. And I guess I'm having a hard time getting close with people who pretend to be what they are not. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 27:58 How does this relate to what you said in the beginning, you said, I open up to people who are open. And you said, I'm an open minded person. And I see that the context is different. But the words are so similar, is it because you said I'm open minded means I'm willing to try new things? And hear you said, Open means sincere or being who you truly are? Are they related somehow. Alina Dorosh 28:26 So when I say open minded, I mean that whenever there's an opportunity to try something new, most likely I will take it. I might not like it, but I will try it. That's what I mean by open minded and in general, ready to try something new. And as for opening to new people, again, I am open to communication with everyone. It's just that if a person is sincere, and I feel connection with them, I will warm up to them, and most likely, it will be a relationship in terms of friendship, you know, but if it's someone who maybe is also not open to communication with me, you know, it's just not going to work. I guess that's what I need. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 29:19 I understand. Thank you Alina. This was my privilege, my honor. Such a wonderful, wonderful conversation and all I can say is Slava creamy. Alina Dorosh 29:32 Hello, I am slow. Thank you for inviting me to this impromptu interview. I've enjoyed it. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 29:38 Me too, very, very much.