Episode Transcript
Hello, my name is Aziz and I'm the son of a divorced mother.
She is my superhero.
That's why it's important for me to support women, to share their uniqueness, their personalities,
perspectives and emotions about this world.
In these difficult times in human history, we need to bring the cultures of the world
together.
And when we listen to real people, to real lives of women from other countries, we connect
our humanity without our differences or stereotypes and we get inspired by their stories to live
a better life.
That's what this podcast is all about.
My guest today is Nicole Hutzel.
Nicole is a Ukrainian girl who moved in April to Porto, Portugal.
Nicole has a bachelor's degree in English Philology, specialty of interpretation, English
Ukrainian.
A year ago, Nicole started her education in programming and now she is studying Informatics
and Computer Engineering at University of Porto.
Nicole is a student worker.
She works at the company Critical Tech Works, BMW Group, and her hobbies are singing and
yoga.
Nicole has two years of experience previously selling women's clothes in her Instagram
shop.
She managed the full process from taking the photos, shipping, social media management,
etc.
She has developed leadership qualities in her life and now has responsibility.
Since the first month, she started her work managing newcomers in her position and she
always trusts her intuition and makes important decisions based on her feelings.
Nicole, how are you today?
I'm fine.
Thank you.
And you?
I'm feeling positive.
I'm feeling really lucky to be alive and very curious about you.
So I'll begin with this nice question.
If your friends could describe your personality, what would they say about you?
Usually all my friends tell me that I'm the most positive person they ever met.
I don't know why, just it's like my rule to think positive, positively in any situations.
It helps me to do the best and to have good results.
This is such an important topic that I have so many questions and I'll begin with this.
When was the period or the moment in your life where you transformed to become sunny
and positive or were you born that way?
What happens to a person because most people tend to be more negative.
They worry a lot.
They don't have the sunny energy.
Are you born such a girl?
Did you change in that way?
And what about your beliefs and mindset gave you this tendency to be positive?
So I was born like calm and a girl that don't care what other people think.
And it was from my childhood.
Of course, I had some situations, periods of my life when I couldn't be so positive,
for example, when the war started, I had so many problems to solve.
When I arrived to Portugal, I had responsibility to make my family feel comfortable here, to
create the best conditions to stay here because I was the only person who was speaking English.
And about my positive, usually, if I feel bad or worried, I try to turn on my positive
thinking, positive mind, and it really helps.
I see that in many situations when I think negatively, I will receive negative also.
And if I think positive, I receive positive.
So it's important to me to see how I think in the moment.
And I try to see it because usually during your life you cannot see such situations.
You just live like every day you used to live.
And that's the problem for many people because they live like they used to.
It helps me.
Also, I have like practice, I may ask feedback from people who are around me.
If I don't know how I'm thinking now, I may ask them, could you tell, please, what
I can do better, what is not good in your opinion, what I'm doing now, or what can
I improve in my life, for example.
And this practice really helps me to see problems that I couldn't see previously.
Thank you.
That's interesting because you both mentioned that you grew up as a girl who doesn't care
what people think, yet you ask them for feedback to improve.
So how do you do that?
Because sometimes when people don't care, it's because maybe they're sensitive.
And if they get feedback, it hurts too much.
Or if they don't care, then they don't really care about the feedback because they decide
what they want and what is good, even if it's a problem for other people.
And therefore, they don't need the feedback.
So how can you have both sides of not caring what people think and welcoming and seeking
feedback and people's perspective?
What is important for me to have feedback from people, to have those things that can
help me.
So I don't care about what people think bad of me, not like constructive criticism.
And it's important to me usually to know feedback from people who are important for me, who
are around me usually, like every day.
Because if I ask the person who didn't see me in real life, they cannot tell me something
important for me and something that may help.
And if I have criticism from people who happened in my life, so I don't care.
Because people may think different and I'm not a dollar to be liked for everyone.
Thank you.
You seem confident.
Is this correct or are you wishing to become a confident person?
So you try to be confident.
How do you deal with society nowadays where on social media you see photoshopped girls
with perfect lives and people living in luxury and often it makes people feel their self-esteem
is low.
So to you, do you believe you're a confident person?
How do you become confident if you could advise others?
And what's your opinion on how social media and reality often shows people unrealistic
expectations that can really erode and destroy their self-confidence?
So I was born as a confident girl.
My mom told that when I was a child, I was every day and several times per day I was
looking in the mirror and I told I'm the most beautiful, I'm the best girl in the world.
And so I was born confident, but when I was like 14 years girl, I wasn't so confident
because I had periods of my life when I cared what people will think about me.
I was like overthinking about it.
I tried to be like the best one, but I know that it's impossible.
I'm the best one for me and that is important.
For now I feel that I'm confident in those things that I know how to do, that I do usually.
And it helps me to do my responsibilities good.
Because I have to be sure that I can do it, that I'm the best person to do it in my career,
in my studying.
Also what helps me to concentrate my mind, my thinking not on others people, but on my
feelings.
What's important to me to be truthful with me, with myself and with the people who are
surrounding me.
So usually I concentrate on these feelings and it helps me be confident and to be not
worrying about anything that may spoil my career and my relationships.
Thank you.
That's fantastic.
And I know you mentioned in your introduction that you trust your feelings when making decisions
to understand you even more.
Are you more of an emotional girl?
Do you love new emotions, you're all about new emotions and aesthetic and maybe some
drama and excitement?
Or are you more logical, pragmatic where you think about the positive things, the consequences
before you make any decision and then when you know it has positive consequences you
feel good or how are you?
Are you a person who's thinking more with your brain and deciding based on facts and
logic or are you more of a romantic person who lives with your heart following your passion
and energy?
I may tell that I'm like mix of it.
I usually I think I also trust my brain.
It's important to think how you can do it like the best way, how it will be good for
you, not like to be just romantic person and to do like you told drama in your life.
I don't like drama but I'm also emotional.
So I like new experience, I like to try something new in my life.
For me it's always exciting to try something new.
For example last birthday my boyfriend presented me a flight on the plane and like I had the
opportunity to rule the plane and of course near me there was a man who has known what
to do in any dangerous situation but I tried to turn plane to the right, to the left and
it was so exciting for me.
I was so amazed.
It was like my first flight and it was unreal.
It was like in a movie and so I like such emotions.
I also like high, I like flying and I would like to jump with parachute, not yet but I
would like to do it soon.
So I like my mind is like mix of brain and emotions and I find usually I find this balance
with emotions and brain.
Thank you and I'm even more curious because you have a lot of uniqueness, you have a lot
of confidence which is not common in girls your age all over the world and you think
both with your brain and with your heart and it's a really cool mature thing to ask you
two things.
One, how different are you compared to most like the normal or traditional or common but
I know every woman is unique but a culture also influences that gives people some standard
behaviors.
How different are you compared to what we can think of as Ukrainian girls who are your
age and if so also how can you describe to someone maybe who'd never visited Ukraine
or who doesn't have Ukrainian friends what is unique, what is the culture and personality
of Ukrainian girls.
So both how are Ukrainian girls and what is similar and different for you personally compared
to most girls that you knew when growing up in Ukraine.
I agree with you that all women are unique and in Ukraine it also works.
So about Ukrainian women, Ukrainian girl usually we are powerful, we are hard worker, all Ukrainians
not only women I can tell it because I'm confident it's true that we are like the most hard working
nation.
And what about me if to compare me with usual Ukrainian girls I'm 21 and I can tell that
I'm experienced like from my childhood I had so many situations where I had to take decisions
to help my parents to solve problems.
For example, when I was 9 my parents had cows and we had so many milk and I had the situation
it was not good because I just taking 5 grimness to buy sweets and I didn't ask my mom.
She told that it's bad you should try to work to earn money and only then you'll
know how to spend money that you have earned with your power, your work.
So I tried to sell milk.
I was only 9 and that first time wasn't successful but on the next day I told my mom give me
some more milk and I'll try again.
So in my 9 years I've bought a bicycle because I had a business by selling milk in my village
and it was really amazing because all people in my village have known that I sell milk.
They all asked me please could you bring me milk on this day and I've bought bicycle
because it made my work easily.
I had basket on my bicycle to put their milk and to drive to my customers.
So I cannot tell that all Ukrainian girls have such experience from their childhood
and this is like short story from my life because I have so many stories like this when
I was doing something that other girls didn't do and so I like the way I live, I like all
these situations because they made me to be like I am now so it's really, really nice.
That's fantastic.
I'm proud of you and to understand even more.
When you make new friends, when you have new people in your life and now you move to Porto
so you need to make new connections, two things.
One, do you seem to have people notice or think oh my God she has like a serious face
or a resting bitch face like some Eastern European girls when they're relaxed tend
to have and they feel intimidated, they think oh my God maybe she's a snob or a mean girl
but in reality you're friendly or because you're positive and sunny or always smiling
so it's not the case, this is one.
Second, what do you look for when you find people to consider them your type of person?
Are you looking for sunny, happy, positive people who also are entrepreneurial, take
risks and jump from airplanes and do that exciting, thrilling stuff or do you want to
feel useful, you look for calmer people and you find your happiness by giving them energy
and helping them to come out of their shell and express themselves or how is it?
Look, I think it's impossible to be like always smiling, of course when I talk to people I
try to smile, to give some positive and so on but if I'm focused on something that I'm
doing now I cannot be smiling so I may look like not so positive face and person but usually
I like to help people to solve some problems if they have, usually I even may ask not wait
from people that they will ask for help, I see that person is struggling with something
and I can propose doing it help and just help to solve problem, I'm happy when I do something
useful for people, it's really, really nice and about positive, sunny, I think people
just have to put their mood in better way in the morning because morning is like the
most important part of day for me, when I wake up I have some things that I usually
do like meditation, give thanks, I have notes with everything that I am thankful for every
day so it helps me to put my mood in better way and to start my day from positive thinking,
smiling and so on, maybe it may help others people too to think more positive, to look
more sunny and to attract more people in their life and about how to make friends as I started
my studying and working, firstly it was difficult for me because I was like afraid that when
I started my education I was late for a month because enrollment process took time and I
arrived and I didn't know anything they did during this month and I had so many tests,
I just arrived and I have tests, I was afraid to ask teachers for help because I thought
I didn't study anything for my own, I have to do something first and then ask for help,
it was my first two weeks but then I decided that I have to ask help because I need this
because they may help me and it will be faster than I will study for my own, at least they
will tell me what I have to study, to study first what is the most important because I
had to prepare to my tests, exams like in two days, in one day, it looked like impossible
but I did this and now I enjoy my studying, I also make friends in my group at university
with all students and teachers because I just see person, I can tell hi, how are you, to
ask some questions and to share contacts, it's usually amazing to meet new people for me,
I may get to know their stories like you do in your podcast, you tell stories of people
of different women from different countries and it's amazing because you can get to know
more stories, more experience and it's really, really wonderful.
Thank you so much, you're so kind and supportive and I'm grateful for your kind words and we
have been speaking about a lot of positivity, I love positivity, I'm addicted to it, at
the same time I understand and realize the situation is so horrible in Ukraine, I was
there on February 24th, I was there when the bombs were falling, when I was in the shelter
and the metro station, everything and for you, how was that day?
I know the war really started even before, maybe forever, but at least 2014 there was
invasion of Donbass and February 24th it became a war on all the territory of Ukraine, how
did you hear about it, did you believe it, how did you feel, what's your story and your
life and your family situation from February 24th until you moved to Porto?
So I'm sorry for you that you were in Ukraine on February 24th and I'm happy that you're
safe now, that everything is okay and about me, it was unexpected for me to wake up from
this horrible sound and also I stayed in Ukraine for one month and a half during the war, it
was terrible and for my parents it was more terrible because when the war started I lived
in Odessa and my parents were in Mikolayev district, it's like small village Galitsinovo,
it's near Kherson and it was really really dangerous there, so I'm happy that they moved,
they decided to leave our house, our house was wonderful but my family is more important
than all houses in the world, so I think we made a good decision to move to a safe place,
of course, first months in Portugal were so difficult because we had so many paperwork,
we found an apartment, it was without furniture, we had to buy so many things to live here
and it was expensive, it was difficult to find, but while we were solving these problems,
so we've met so many good people here in Portugal, so many volunteers, so many Ukrainians
who live here more than 20 years and they helped us to find good solutions, they have
given us so many good advice and also when we were looking for furniture, a Portuguese
man who has a girl, who has a daughter and she has grown up and she didn't need her
bed more, so they've just given us that bed and some furniture for my sister's room and
it was so kind, it was so good to find people who want to help you, who support you, it
just made us feel like at home and also I've met here my yoga teacher because of all these
things, I've lost my calmness and I didn't know what to do because I was kind of lost,
I felt not good and Câmara Municipal, it's in Portuguese like city council, they proposed
me to go to have yoga classes, so that's how I met Crystal, my yoga teacher, she helped
me to remember that I have this power inside me, she remembered how good is to do yoga,
how good is to just to listen nature sounds and to breathe, breathe in, breathe out and
how is good to feel my soul, like to hug my soul because I was in the first month here
in Portugal, I was just solving problem by problem and it was really, really difficult
because I didn't used to such situations, it was like unusual for me, usually I lived
in Ukraine, so calm life and I hadn't like so many problems to solve.
Thank you, I can imagine your frustration and all the difficult emotions during the
war and also especially in the first month and a half of moving and all I can say is
Slava Ukrainyi.
Heroin Slava.
And to ask you a bit more because you love yoga, are you a spiritual kind of person,
do you feel and believe in manifestation, in soul mates, in creating your destiny and
that the energy of the world you can add it to get even more positivity into your body
and life, tell me your thought, how do you believe the world works?
How is it?
Do we create our life?
Is there a destiny that we're following?
How do you view reality?
So I believe that what you give that you will receive, this is my belief in how our world
works.
Also, I can tell that I am spiritual person, I believe in universe, I believe in positive
thinking, like what you think, you will have it in your life, so it's really important
to me to control, not control, but to see what you are thinking about now, like not
to be overthinking about bad things because you will attract bad things.
So that's why I used to be focused every second of my life because I have to see how
I change this positive thinking to negative and so on.
Thank you so much, Nicole, for sharing your voice, your stories, your life and participating
in this project.
It was my honor and my privilege and I wish you success.
I wish every Ukrainian peace and to Ukraine victory.
Thank you so much.
It was really nice to take part in your project.
It's amazing to share my story with people and to listen different stories of women all
over the world.
Thank you for this opportunity and I also wish you the best.
I wish peace in Ukraine.
Thank you.
