E108 Bianca-Maria Iota

Femininity is powerful in all its forms, exceptional women. Rare girls must be appreciated in every way for their perspectives, actions, thoughts, and their unique ways of being. Such rare girls are inspiring, and this is what this podcast is all about. Hello, my name is Aziz and my guest today is Bianca Maria Iota. Bianca Maria is a Romanian FLEX participant 2022-2023 in Chicago, Illinois, the United States. Bianca Maria likes writing, sculpting, and reading, and she won prizes in International French Creative Writing Contest. Bianca Maria, how are you today? I'm well, thank you. I thank you so much for having me today, it's an honor to participate in this podcast. It's my privilege, it's my honor, and I'm really curious about you and to know you as a person much better and share your soul with the world. So I'll begin with this nice question. If your friends could describe your personality, what would they say about you? And even better, would your friends in Romania describe you in a different way than the new friends you're making in your FLEX experience? So I think that my friends in Romania would probably describe me as a perfectionist, as an ambitious person, and probably as a very creative person. And somehow I believe that, yes, my friends here would describe me differently because there's this difference in, you know, cultures and how people behave, and I think that here they would consider me very brave and outgoing. And yeah, there's definitely a difference in the way people perceive me here, except really teenagers. Thank you. And I'm curious, how would you describe the culture or personality of a Romanian girl, and I know each is unique and different, but when you went to the US, how did that teach you more about who you are and your culture as a Romanian girl? I've noticed that here people are very warm and welcoming, and somehow I find myself in that because I'm also a very welcoming person and I'm very friendly, I love people in general. And I've seen that here, you know, people are very welcoming. I mean, it's a very diverse country, so they are very welcoming towards foreigners. And somehow I've noticed about myself that I am more laid back than the other exchange students here. I mean, there are a lot of cultures and somehow in Eastern Europe, we are very laid back and welcoming. I think that that's one resemblance that we have to the American people. And yeah, I'm a very brave person here. That's how the exchange students would describe me, because there are a lot of exchange students here. It's not just me. No worries. I'm sure every FLEX participant says how much they mature and change and become actually the next version of themselves because of the experience. And to ask you even more about this, what do you do now there in Chicago when you want to feel inspired to take care of your mental health, to recharge your energies, to avoid burnout? What kind of activities really fulfill you or what things do you do there that were not so possible even when you were in Romania? Well, because it's such a huge city, there are a lot of possibilities here and you never, never get bored. And also because there are a lot of exchange students, we have many activities, we have many birthday parties. For example, yesterday we went to the haunted house. It was very fun. And there is a lot of time to recharge your batteries and do fun things with your friends because in Romania there is this thing about school. You don't really have a lot of time for having fun during the week and such things. Here it's more focused on extracurricular activities. I mean, even at school we have clubs, we have football games, we have a lot of activities that you can engage in and meet new people and just do whatever you like. Thank you. And you seem to be interested in French literature, in French creative writing, maybe even in the French culture. Is this correct? Yes. It's very much correct. How do you satisfy your French side or the French side of your personality there in Chicago? Are there some things that make you feel like you're living some of those literature scenes that you dreamed about or anything like that? Well, as a person who can speak French fluently, I've never been to France. I was supposed to go there, but all of my flights were canceled. So I actually have never been there, but somehow I do find myself here, even if I'm this French person trapped in a Romanian's body. Just because I am very adaptive, I adapt very easily. I'm a very flexible person and somehow I find myself at home here. I find myself at home in Romania and I think that's one of my biggest traits, being able to find myself at home anywhere. So about French, specifically the French language, I haven't really studied that much here. I mean, I take that subject in school, but not, I mean, during my free time, I don't really spend that much time studying French, opposed to what I used to do in Romania. Thank you. And to understand even more your approach to creative writing, imagine you were a creative writing teacher and the listeners are your new students. They don't really know what to expect, how to approach it. What would you say is your own method or way of creating something, writing something creatively? What kind of rules or mindsets or approaches that would allow them to be at least as good as you when it comes to creative writing in any language or in French? So that is a very interesting question. I think that one thing that I would teach people would be to be yourself in whatever you're writing. Don't ever write about something that you're not invested in emotionally and personally. Something that doesn't represent you, something that doesn't represent your character, your interest. I think that what we write is a mirror of who we are and our character and our abilities. So if you write something that you're not passionate about, it's not going to reflect you and you're probably not going to do a good job writing that. Thank you. And to ask you even more. You said that you are somehow a French girl in a Romanian girl's body. Can you tell me what about the French culture, although you've never visited there, attracted you? What difference does it make to be like a French girl compared to the culture of a Romanian girl or an American girl? Tell me that side of you and share it, please. Well, you know, people are very different. So I cannot generalize French girls in general or Romanian girls. But somehow, you know, the environment that we live in can change us a lot. And, you know, it contributes a lot to who we are and how we grow up. So I think that I would totally be a different person if I would be living in France or if I were born in France. But I definitely want to go there and maybe actually move there for good. And it's my dream. It's been my dream now for the past five years or so, I think even more. So it's definitely on my bucket list and I genuinely hope that I will get there and that it's going to be it's going to become true. I like that. And I'm really, really curious to discover even more about you. What's your perspective on life? I mean, I know it's a deep question, but at the same time, it's a question you live in every day. Do you see the world as a friendly place? Do you see the world as a place of learning? Do you believe in destiny or you believe that we're in control of everything? Are you a girl who is into astrology and tarot or all logic and know like metaphysical things? How are you as a human being in this reality? And how do you project your own worldview onto it? How do you see it? That is such a good question. I think that there is no destiny. We are in complete control of our lives. You make your life. You are the one who decides what's going to happen next. But if something doesn't go as planned, you always have the chance to try again or try something new. So failure should not put you down. It should make you go even further. And I believe that in our lives, we should try as many things as possible, try as many countries as possible, visit them, live there as I am now, visit as many cultures, talk to as many people as possible from different cultural backgrounds and very different people to see a lot of perspectives. I think that it's a very big mistake to stay in your comfort bubble and see the same thing your whole life. I think that we have to enlarge our horizon of knowledge and see as many things as possible. And I do not live in astrology necessarily. I mean, I know that I'm a Gemini and I sometimes read the horoscope, but I don't really believe in it. And I think that life in general is hard. It is very hard. But you know, it makes you tough. And I think that we shouldn't regret anything that happens to us. However, even if it's very, very bad, because it contributes to who you are and your personality and it makes you stronger. So yes, you know, sometimes we hope that some bad things wouldn't have happened to us. But I think that it contributes a lot to who we are and it makes us learn about situations so that we don't find ourselves there. So yeah, that's my perspective about life. Thank you. I'm a Gemini as well, so I get what you're saying. And to understand you even deeper, a lot of people nowadays, including psychologists, lament that human beings nowadays are numbing themselves down with TikToks and social media and quick fast foods and things like that. And therefore, they don't have that urge or yearning that a long time ago when life was totally boring for adventure, for like you said, trying as many places as possible, doing as many things as possible, they stay in their safe zone and their comfort zone and their cocoons because they can get some dopamine hits quickly that make them not feel that extra fire in order to cross the boundaries of their comfort zone and to the unknown. Do you agree with this? Do you feel like younger people who you knew in Romania were more about safety and staying in their comfort zone rather than pushing their boundaries? Are you different in that way? Or do you disagree and feel that modern life, because of the safety, it allows people to really, really be okay with trying more, experimenting more because there isn't really dangerous failure any longer? I truly think that social media is a very dangerous thing nowadays. And as a Gen Z, as a part of Gen Z, I am a teenager, so of course I'm addicted to my phone. I use TikTok. I use Instagram. So I know what you're talking about and I truly agree with that because I've seen that. I've noticed addiction and how it can stop you from pursuing greater things. And it's sometimes very hard to get out of it. I try to use TikTok and such platforms as least as possible because it gets you addicted. It gets you hooked. You spend a lot of time on it. You learn very few things from it. Yes, it sometimes can be educational, but not all the time. And as you said about dopamine, yeah, that's a very dangerous thing. That's the reason why it's so addictive because, for example, TikTok, it's a six-second video is all over again and you get dopamine hits every six seconds. So of course you're hooked to it and you don't want to leave your phone and you constantly want to be on TikTok. So yes, it gives you a lot of videos of different people around the world, but it's also very addictive and time consuming. So I kind of think that social medias are enemy nowadays. Most of the time it can be very dangerous, but it also has its good parts. And yes, about fast food, also it's all engineered so that it's as affordable as possible and as easy to buy as possible so that, you know, they have a lot of clients, people eat it just to make them profit. It's all against us. And I think that we have to be aware of stuff like this in order to avoid it because it's very, very dangerous. It's very bad for our health, I mean, all of it, TikTok, social media, fast food, it's all bad for our health, even if it's mental health, even if it's physical health. So I think we have to make people more conscious about it and aware so that they can avoid it and, you know, be their better selves. Thank you. You're saying such wise words and I recommend the documentary from 2020 called The Social Dilemma, which talks even deeper about the dangers and the effects, et cetera. And therefore, let's move away from virtual life to a real life. When you meet new people, are you someone who opens up easily and quickly to them or do you have the stereotypical bitch face, resting face that many Eastern European girls have or even if you're friendly, people might think, oh my God, she looks so angry or unapproachable or snobbish or something like that. And when you meet people, do you need periods of time to observe them and get to know them before you open up or have you had that instant chemistry with someone new that made you open up and feel like you know them all your life? If I could describe myself, I would describe myself as a very open person. I mean, I like people, I like opening up to people. And sometimes that's bad because I trust people, I'm like, oh, they're cool, they're chill, they don't want anything bad to happen to me and that's not the case sometimes. So yeah, it takes a period of time to actually see a person beyond their appearance and see their character and see their actual intentions. And I think that we should pay more attention to that because a lot of wrong things can happen and I think we should stay safe. And yes, I mean, we learn a lot of people, we learn a lot of new things from meeting people and even if it's the wrong person, we learn something from them, we learn to stay away from people like them in order to avoid conflicts and being hurt. So I think opening up to people is important but not too much. You shouldn't trust people too much but also not have trust issues, you know what I mean? So yeah, that's my perspective on it. Thank you very, very much and to understand even more about your thoughts, how do you find like, what's the best approach do you find for self-reflection, for understanding yourself, for organizing your thoughts? Is it walking in nature and contemplating on the reality or is it journaling and creative writing that through what you write, you understand who you are? Or how would you recommend to other people or teenagers your age who want to go on a journey of self-discovery to follow in your footsteps and become more self-aware? I think that in order to know yourself better, we should journal. I mean, we should journal, we should take walks, we should do anything that makes us happy and keeps us calm. And personally, I've been discovering myself and who I am through spending a lot of time with myself, not on social media or things that cannot allow me to think about who I am and my identity, but journaling, maybe taking a walk, maybe writing something, writing a poem, writing a short story or something like that. Thank you. And I'm curious about sculpting. It's not a common hobby, at least not in 2022. How did you fall in love with it? What's the story? And do you do it as a way of expressing emotions, which means when you begin a sculpture, you don't know the end result? Or are you someone methodical who will think through first what you want, imagine it, and then begin your sculpture with a clear vision already? I always begin my sculptures with an idea about its shape, its color, what it wants to express. But sometimes things don't go according to plan. And I think that's not just about sculpture, that's about everything in life. But it was just a hobby that I picked up after seeing something similar on social media. And I noticed that I'm good at it because I'm very meticulous and I like small things and paying attention and I'm a perfectionist, as I said earlier. So I like creating and being as meticulous as possible. So it was just something that clicked instantly. I liked it so, so much because it was relaxing and I truly found myself in it and I could make anything out of it, out of clay, just with an idea I could sculpt anything and express anything and express myself at the same time. I also have a lot of very unusual hobbies for 2022. I also crochet, which is as calming and relaxing as sculpting. It's so good for your mental health and winding at the end of the day. And it's also creative. You can make anything, just as I said earlier, you can make anything just as a sculpting. And I haven't really met a lot of people who crochet, especially teenagers. It's seen as a hobby for grannies and old people. So I have a lot of hobbies, I mean, painting, drawing, I'm a very creative person. And sometimes I get tired and bored of some hobbies, but at the end of the day, I always pick them up again and again. So I think it's very important to try as many things as possible. Try, I don't know, crocheting, try sculpting, try drawing, try painting, try, you know, making jewelry, try doing anything and see if you like it or not, because you might actually like it. It might actually be your favorite hobby, you never know. I agree 100%. And to end this, speaking a bit about your superpower of language learning, especially the French language, if other teenagers who want to learn other languages, whether it's French or perfect their English, want to be inspired by your own process, how did you learn French? How did you integrate the vocabulary into your own fluency without going to France? How did you improve the accent? What did you work on? Which resources did you use? What would be for you the recommendation for someone who wants to learn a language and get to a fluency level similar to yours by following in your footsteps? Well, I think you need to have a base first. For example, for me, it was English. I started learning English when I was six years old and I studied throughout school and, you know, private tutoring and camps, English camps and so on. And I think that learning any language is very important because it opens a lot of new possibilities and, you know, it can offer you a lot of opportunities. And I think a very, very big tip for studying a foreign language is getting as much exposure as possible. So for me, with English, it was, you know, Netflix, it was movies, it was TV series, it was songs, it was reading in English, which contributed so, so much to my skill. And I think, you know, this is so important rather than just learning grammar. And with French, you know, having already a base in English and Romanian, which is my natural language, and it's a Romani language and French is also a Romani language, mixing English and Romanian, it was pretty easy for me to learn French. It's not as, you know, French equals Romanian plus English, but it helped me a bit to understand more and get new words and understand your meaning or, you know, grammar rules because there are a lot of grammar rules in French, but it's a very beautiful language and I truly recommend that people study French. You know, it's a very hated language in Romania, kids don't like it, they hate it and it's mostly because of the way it's taught in school. It's taught in a manner that doesn't make it attractive and easy to learn. So I think, you know, getting exposure to actual French, talk by French people is very, very important and so is for English. Thank you so much, Bianca. This was my privilege, my honor, such a wonderful conversation and a way to explore who you are and share it with the world. I wish you a wonderful year in the U.S. I wish you to try everything, to visit all the places, to go finally to France without your flights canceled, maybe nearby there you can go to Montreal. And all that all will be wonderful. Thank you again. Thank you so, so much. It was such an honor talking to you and thank you for having me today.