Episode Transcript
Hello, my name is Aziz and I'm the son of a divorced mother.
She is my superhero.
That's why it's important for me to support women to share their uniqueness, their personalities,
perspectives and emotions about this world.
In these difficult times in human history, we need to bring the cultures of the world
together.
And when we listen to real people, to real lives of women from other countries, we connect
our humanity without our differences or stereotypes and we get inspired by their stories to live
a better life.
That's what this podcast is all about.
My guest today is Durenzaya Kanzarik.
Rena is a winner of the Presidential Scholarship living in Ulaanbaatar, the capital city of
Mongolia.
Currently, she is waiting to study abroad at the University of Bristol, England, and
her major is computer science and electronics.
Rena loves to listen to music and she combines pictures and videos taken by her to create
video clips for her favorite songs, which helps her to relieve stress and boost her
confidence.
She also likes to dance.
She has been doing ballet since she was four years old and when she was 16, she started
to teach ballet for children.
Rena participated in the Tanzo Olimp Asia 2018, which is an international ballet competition.
Rena, how are you today?
Hi, I'm feeling very good and I'm really excited.
Me too.
I'm happy.
I'm honored.
I'm feeling lucky to interview you and I'll begin with this nice question, which is if
your friends could describe your personality, what would they say about you?
Well, so the first thing they're going to say is very extroverted because I'm like always
outgoing and I'm always talking and also my friends would say I'm really like caring person
and loving.
I like that.
That's super interesting and it goes against the stereotype of people who are into computer
science and electronics because they seem to have more comfort with machines than with
other human beings.
What's your thought about this stereotype?
Do you feel it's wrong?
Are you more comfortable with computers and things that are electronic compared to humans
or you find them to be useful to increase the human connection?
Well, I think that stereotype is kind of true, but for me, I really like to talk with people
and work with people, but I also really like techniques.
Just because I feel that techniques makes our brain work and it really connects people
and I think I can make it more suitable for our environment and our future.
Perfect.
And I'm curious about you being a Mongolian girl.
How do you feel in 2022 is the culture of Mongolian teenage girls or younger adults?
Is it truly like a typical traditional Mongolian influence or because of Hollywood and K-pop
and China and Japan, they're a mix of so many cultures and creating their own culture and
perspective on this world.
So well, culture exchange is like really common in Mongolia.
Actually Korean is very popular here, like Korean songs, Korean dramas.
We watch everything and us girls, like teenagers, really like to follow what's on the TV or
what's on the sound, songs, but actually lastly, we are really trying to keep up with our culture
because our culture is very unique and we really didn't understand it until this moment
because before we just thought that Mongolian culture is very too much of a nomadic or it's
kind of disgusting because people sometimes ask, sometimes foreigners ask, do you still
ride horses to school or like sometimes people just think Mongolian is very nomadic still
to this moment, but actually we have big cities, we have every technologies and we are appreciating
our culture and it makes us even more unique.
I love that very much and I'm even more curious about you.
The pandemic, the lockdowns and the whole situation that during your teenage years you
spent two or three years maybe studying remotely, etc.
Do you feel this influenced social skills and reduce them because there is less human
interaction or in your situation it was a good thing or maybe it wasn't so much restrictions
in Mongolia?
Tell me more about this.
Well, we actually had very long and very strict lockdowns in Mongolia because our COVID situation
was so bad and we almost were in lockdown for like two years straight.
Well, there was on and off and lockdowns, but it was almost fully lockdown.
I think that time period was like the new chapter of my life because that's when I found
out that I love computers and techniques and that's also when I found out that, well, my
career will not be ballet, but ballet is my best interest and my best hobby, but I want
to live as a ballerina but I can live as my computer engineering major.
So about social interactions, it was really hard because as I said, I'm very extroverted
so I used to like always go out with my friends or always talk with people and I was just
in the crowd all the time.
And then suddenly I had to stay at home for like six months, one year and more than that.
So at first I felt like, oh my God, this is horrible, but as time goes by, I found out
that, oh, I needed to find out more about myself.
I need to work with myself.
So that's when I actually enjoyed the lockdowns and started to work on myself and pursue my
interests.
That's a powerful perspective and an absolutely great story and you spoke about ballet, how
you discovered that electronics will be your future, not ballet.
Can you tell me about ballet?
What is the most interesting and adorable part for you about ballet?
Is it maybe that challenging yourself, pushing your limits, helps you discover new parts
and new things about yourself?
Or do you love that moment where it's almost like time stops and you're dancing and there
is no past and no future, just flowing in the moment and watching yourself do something
magnificent, or is it working out that it helps you look good and that's why you love
it?
Or what do you adore about the experience of ballet itself?
Well, I was dancing since I was four years old.
So that means that like at first I knew nothing.
I was just dancing.
My parents told me to go to the dance and that's when I go and just play with children
and do some ballet in the studio.
And like after I turned 12, maybe I actually really started to enjoy ballet and understand
more about it, but ballet was always not being very easy.
It's actually a lot of time thinking about creating because it was so hard and feeling
frustrated about myself because I can't do this turn or I can't do this move.
How do people do this?
And it was a lot of like, I think it builds me more mental strength and it made me more
patient because you have to endure all that pain of stretch or all that tiredness from
dancing all day because when you're trying to be a professional ballerina, you train
for like seven to eight hours a day, even it can be all day, like from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m.
And when you're preparing for competitions, it's like whole day and whole night.
So I learned a lot about ballet and the most adorable thing and the most favorite thing
about ballet is that I feel that I'm a woman from it because when I'm dancing and when
I see my hands or when I see my legs floating around or when I'm turning, it gives me the
feeling that, oh, I'm a woman and I should be confident in myself.
I should love myself.
That's wonderful.
And then to ask you, do you feel teenage girls in Mongolia have high self-esteem or like
you said, it's about ballet for you falling in love with the abilities of your body?
Do they have some kind of body shame or they maybe see in Instagram some girls that they
think, oh, my God, I cannot be as perfect as her.
It's not possible.
So they feel bad.
But something like ballet can help them gain that confidence.
What's your perspective on this?
So yeah, there's actually a lot of body shaming like fast shaming, high shaming, or even voice
or your looks.
So I know that almost all the girls here have insecurities and it seems like many of us
have low self-esteem.
But I think it's the way humans are, I think, because you have to have insecurities, but
you need to grow out of that and you need to find out how to love yourself.
And girls face more of it than boys because boys don't care.
So girls have to think more and they try to learn to love themselves more.
And in Mongolia, there's not much people to say, oh, please love yourself, your mental
health is important because what we call boomers, Mongolian elders, they say, oh, you don't care,
you don't have to be, or you're too fat, just be skinnier, it's so easy.
So we face a lot of problems and insecurities because of what older people say to us, but
us girls, teenagers, try to inspire ourselves more and we have to, we need to, and we try
to help each other by just saying, Eric, oh no, it's not a problem, just love yourself,
be who you are.
We try to give it to each other, not get it from older people.
Thank you.
And I'm curious about another thing.
You soon enough will be living in England to a new culture, new people.
Do you feel that you will find it easy to make new friends?
What is your plan in order to adapt to that new culture and build new groups of people
that you know?
Will you join all the ballet classes and make friends there, or do you think you'll be involved
in all the extracurricular activities at the University of Bristol, or you look for other
Mongolian expats and find home there, or how will you make yourself have those new human
connections in a totally new country starting from scratch?
Well, right now, that's the only thing that I'm worried about, but I'm worried and excited
at the same time.
So I think I kind of knew a lot about the culture from social media, like TikTok, Instagram,
or from just Google, but it can't be the most through.
So of course I will be in a culture shock, but I don't think that culture shocks are
the first time that I'm coming to England is like a hard thing because I think it's
another new chapter of my life, and I think it's going to be exciting rather than just
hard.
And so the Presidential Scholarship will provide us with dorms, but during like summer breaks
or winter breaks, I need home to stay, so of course I'm going to work there.
But one thing about me is like, I'm very spoiled because growing up, I was always in a ballet
studio, not in my home, so I'm kind of bad about chores, chores, doing chores, and that's
what I should learn, and I'm kind of trying now.
And also in university, I will try to meet new people as much as possible because, as
I said, I'm an extroverted person, and I need more like international friends to see more
new perspectives about the world.
And actually, I have a friend of mine in England, and we were like friends.
She was in my ballet studio, and we were friends since four years old, and she went to England
three years ago, and she has a ballet studio there.
So I think I can work there, and we were talking a lot about it.
So yeah, I'm going to keep up with my ballet and also with my studies.
Thank you.
And I am curious about you in this way.
Are you the same person when you are doing ballet that you are when you're dealing with
electronics and computers, or are you discovering a new side to yourself?
Do you see dance and music and beauty and computer sciences and electronics, or what
made you discover that you have this love for it?
Well, I would say I'm a very different person when I'm doing ballet and when I'm working
on my computers because when I'm doing ballet, I'm really feminine.
And I'm really just about dancing and feeling every moment of it, but not...
I don't have to think too much.
Of course, I will think my movements or like that, but there's no...
You don't have to academically think when you're doing ballet.
So when I'm dealing with computers, I have to think about, okay, how to solve this problem
and how do I do it?
And people actually say that, oh, you look very focused and very serious when you're
dealing with computers.
I'm not that serious when I'm doing ballet because I'm really enjoying it.
Of course, I'm serious when I'm teaching ballet, but when I'm actually dancing, I'm just
enjoying it and I'm just feeling it.
But when I'm dealing with computers, I'm all serious, I'm all focused, and I think I'm
more like a man, I would say.
Because when I'm doing ballet, I'm in my best shape, best clothes, and I'm looking pretty
or something like that.
And when I'm dealing with computers, I'm just in the corner of my room with baggy clothes
and kind of greasy hair.
So that's the difference.
That's funny.
And to understand then, since you said you feel like a man, how is the culture in Mongolia?
How are women expected to be?
How are men expected to be?
Is it more modern?
Do you feel that is perfect?
Or do you have different perspectives on how the future of Mongolian women is from your
own opinion or should be, etc.?
Can you speak a bit more about that?
In Mongolian, the typical understandings of women is that they have to cook, they have
to take care of their children, they have to be at home taking care of everything.
And men should do the work, they should provide money, and they should care for their home.
But when a woman is doing dishes, men should be preparing things like TV or the lights.
But I don't think it's not suitable because in my opinion, women and men should be equal
like not like if a woman is doing dishes, men should do dishes too.
It's not like we're working together.
So there's actually no difference.
And if you want to do dishes, you can do it.
Or if I want to do it, I can do it.
It's more like when someone's busy or not.
And actually, the providing money and taking care of home and working is like a burden
for men because they get a lot of pressures from it.
Because when your home is not very gaining money, it's all your fault.
Men can sometimes have drinks with their friends, right, but like in Mongolia, when their husband
comes home kind of drunk, a little bit drunk even, their wife gets too angry.
And it's like, well, women is getting pressures too much and men is getting pressures too
much.
So they should be just equal and men can take care of their children and stay at home if
they want to.
And if women want to work and if she is confident about working and providing money, she can
work too.
And I want this to change actually this way in Mongolia.
Thank you.
And to understand you even more as a person.
So what would be in this whole world in theory, a place or a culture that matches who you
are perfectly?
Would it be like Italy and you love to be in the historical museums and the delicious
food and the nature?
Or in California near Hollywood and the movies and the stars or somewhere like Korea near
the K-pop people and the culture or in Dubai with the dynamic people or anywhere else outside
of Mongolia?
Of course, you love Mongolia, et cetera.
But in theory, what would be a location that represents you?
Maybe it's the Bahamas on the beach.
What is your heart calling for?
Oh, that's a really good question.
So my answer will be New York, because it's all like new and it's all shiny.
It's like the city of the party.
I would say I like to party or I just like to be in an exciting place like where there's
a lot of lights and the busy lives going around like tall buildings, all of these interesting
things that's really so me.
I like to just dress good and go out or I really like to be busy.
So New York will be the place.
Oh, that's so interesting.
So to understand you then, are you a girl who gets bored somehow easily?
You love to have new emotions, new adventures, new experiences.
You want to be sad and to cry and to be heartbroken and to be happy and to be excited and to be
scared and you love all the emotions and new surprises.
Or is it more about that you have a lot of interests that you can live through fully
and you wish to be only in positive, good vibes all the time.
You're not interested in the whole range of big emotions.
Oh, I love everything new.
I like adventures, even if it's hard, I'm all there for it.
And I love emotions like, oh, this is a new emotion, like, how do I deal with it?
Or like, what kind of emotion is this is the like, the thought that I have like every day
or every like every other day.
So like, just everything new, exploring everything new and living a very interesting, very active
life will be the best for me.
That's so nice.
And then to know even more about you, how can you study in a way where you are getting
into excellence, whether it's in ballet and the practice where you repeat the same thing
again and again and again for thousands of times or maybe studying for computer science,
there is so much to read, so much technical jargon.
How do you keep yourself focused in order to be excellent in academics and in dance,
if it's opposite to new emotions and new excitement and can be boring in some way?
Yeah, I get bored, of course, but like, I try to find the new things from it.
Even if I'm like doing one dance all over again, I'm just when I'm doing once I'm learning
just one thing and then when I'm doing another and I'm figuring out another thing in that
dance.
So that's what how I keep new things in me, even if I'm doing the same thing all over
again and about computers too, like when I'm reading and just typing codes, it's all like
something new.
Oh my God, that's so interesting.
So I should do this or if I can't do things or if I can't make things work, I'm ready
to go all in for that because when I'm studying, I get really serious and I just love the feeling
of finishing everything like, oh, it works, oh, I did it.
That's the best adrenaline and best satisfaction for me.
That's wonderful and that you mentioned adrenaline.
What kind of people are you most interested in having in your life that when you meet
them, you think, yes, these are my people.
Are they adrenaline junkies who love to go out and party and feel all the emotions and
have all the adventures or do you like more introverted calm people so that they balance
your energy and keep you from going too far into the excitement?
What is interesting for you?
Yeah, as you say, introverted person is the best in my life because they balance my life.
I thought I attracted to and I got friends with more introverted people, but after some
time I find out that, oh no, almost all of my friends are introverted because I need
somebody to listen to me and to talk to me because I'm talkative and when my friend is
talkative too, it's going to be like a discussion.
It's going to be like some kind of very serious situation.
I need somebody that can listen to me when I'm talking, but I will, of course, listen
to them too.
I need somebody who is calm because I am a very overwhelming person, I would say, and
when I say, oh my God, let's try this, let's go now, but like my friends say, okay, we
can do it later.
Now you have to do this or do that.
That's like the best reminder for me.
So I need introverted people, but also I need people in between them, I guess, if my friends
are too introverted, I can't keep up with their lifestyle because, of course, mine is
going out and being all excited about things.
So I need somebody who is comfortable with me.
And when I first met people and we're talking and I actually do a lot of jokes, I say a
lot of funny things, and when they laugh at my jokes and they laugh at me, I almost thought,
oh, it's them.
Thank you so much, Rena.
This was such a wonderful way to share about your unique personality and who you are.
I thank you for this episode, I thank you for your time, your perspective, and I wish
you success and a new chapter in your life that is full of new emotions in England.
Thank you so much.
Okay.
Thank you so much.
I also want to say good luck and this podcast is very interesting and it's very inspiring
for all the women out there, so keep up doing it.
Thank you.
