Episode Transcript
Hello, my name is Aziz, and I'm the son of a divorce mother.
She is really my superhero.
That's why it's important for me to support women, to share their uniqueness, their personalities,
perspectives, and emotions about this world.
In these difficult times in human history, we need to bring the people of the world together.
And when we hear the voices of women, when we listen to real lives of women from other countries,
we connect our cultures without differences, or stereotypes, and we get inspired by their stories
to live a better life.
That's what this podcast is all about.
My guest today is Elis Santos de Silva.
Elis is an Austrian pole dancer, and the founder of Bechaya, Liebling Space, the exclusive
poleware brand for a stunning look.
And she adores spending time with her two daughters, Elis, how are you today?
I'm good, thank you. Thanks for having me.
I'm honored, privileged, lucky, and very curious to know more about you and to explore your personality,
so I'll begin with this nice first question.
Elis, if the people who know your best could describe who you are and your personality,
what would they say about you?
I think they would say, I'm a loving mom, warm hearted, I'm doing everything for my kids,
but at the same time, determined and kind of stubborn, because when I imagine something,
I try until it works, there's no giving up for me.
I'm a very open-minded person, and a bit crazy too, I would say.
That's great, and I'll begin with you something very important,
and we don't discuss much on this podcast, because not enough moms are already interviewed.
I look forward to do more to you.
What is your perspective on the best way to raise your daughters?
Is there something that you try to do so that you increase their confidence or make them more brave in this world,
or what is to you, the right approach, or maybe an inspiration from Paul Dance,
that makes you the best mom you can be?
That's a good question, because I'm a single mom, so I'm trying my best to raise up my daughters
in the best possible way, and the older one, she's in a difficult age right now,
because she's a teenager, so it's even harder, but I'm trying my best to give them enough self-confident,
to be open-minded, to think about the future, and what they want to have in life,
and what they want to reach, and support them as much as I can.
Both are doing sports, one is a dancer, and the other one, she's a cheerleader,
so I'm supporting their activities, and driving to all the competitions, and yeah, be there for them.
Doesn't matter what, doesn't matter when, whenever they need me, I'm trying to help them.
I love that attitude, I agree with it 100%, and you spoke about yourself being stubborn,
that when you have a goal or something, you keep on trying again and again and again, until
you make it happen. What motivates you to not give up? What keeps you stubborn? Is it your born
that way? Is it something else? Maybe it can inspire your daughters and other women when you explain it,
so that they find their stubbornness in order to reach all their goals.
Yeah, I think it's a piece of my character, but I have learned that it's not an option to give up,
because sometimes you need to fight for something till you reach goals, so it's always important
to focus on what's important for yourself, and what you want to reach, and then you have to do
just everything you can to reach this goal, because sometimes there is no possibility for giving up,
and I think that's really important to think of what you want to focus and then just do it.
Excellent advice, I couldn't agree more, and I noticed you mentioned one of your daughters
is a cheerleader and you're interested in Paul dance. Why did you fall in love with Paul dance?
Why not cheerleading or anything else? What is special about it? And how does it help you grow
as a person? Good question. Now, I was dancing since I was a child, and I always wanted to try
Paul dance, but I never had the chance to, and then I split up with my ex-husband, and I thought
this is the right moment now start, and since then I never stopped, it's just when you fall in love
with it, you just keep on doing it, and that's what I'm still doing, and yeah, my little one she's
into cheerleading, but sometimes she's training with me too, so she also loves the tricks on the
Paul, and it's good to have her, to have an activity together with her too. That's great,
and I'm asking also another thing, because there is a bit of a stereotype that Austrian people
don't show much emotions, are not so calliente, like Latinos, which you'd expect someone to choose
Paul dance to be more fiery and spicy. Is this true? Is it a stereotype, or are you born in Austria,
but you have Latina heart and vibes, or how does it work for you? Yeah, I think I have to Latina
pardon white. You also see my last name is Santa Cecilia, so my ex-husband was Brazilian.
I have a lot of friends from South America and Latinos, but in general, I wouldn't say like
Austrians are with not a emotion, I know a lot of Paul dance is also here in Austria, but yeah,
yeah, for sure, I have to let him wipe. Thank you, and if so, are you still living in Austria,
or in a time where you could live anywhere in the world? Why not, for example, go to some place
where it's the center of the Paul dance in the world, or somewhere where you can be near the beach
in a warm weather, or what was your decision? Why stay in Austria while do things that are maybe
more successful in different places? The main reason why I'm still here in Austria, I'm a children,
because only like the education here is much better in other countries. I was traveling in a lot
of places all over the world, and I've seen, I've seen Brazil, I've been to the Dominican Republic
to the USA, and comparing to those countries, I think Austria is a great place to raise children,
so that's why I'm still here. But honestly, the favorite place I would love to live is Ibiza.
It's my, how can I say, I love this island, it's my place to live to be, so who knows, maybe
one day I will live there. I love that, I can imagine you and Ibiza maybe put an a pole on the beach
or somewhere really cool and filming some of your moves. And to ask you as well, because I believe
everything we do is challenging and it's a journey of growth, of discovering new things about who
we are, for you and it comes to pole dance. How is the progression? Let's say there are girls who
never tried pole dance and they want to try it, some things they think, oh my god, that looks
impossible, I'll never do it, something they say, oh, it looks so easy, but maybe it's not.
What are the realistic expectations and what are some things maybe you thought are difficult
that you found easy and things you thought would be simple that you struggled with?
I think the most important thing when you come to pole dance is to be patient. That's not so much
my strength, but I'm still trying because it takes a lot of time and a lot of training to do
all the difficult tricks and moves. And I'm doing pole dance now for over eight years and I still
can't do a lot of things. So I'm training a lot, I'm training with really good goods, teachers from
all over the world. Some of them are world champions, some of them, they are just amazing. So I'm
still trying, I'm still learning, but it's not just the sport by itself, but it's the community.
You meet so many people from all over the world and the community is so supporting.
In a lot of friends out of the pole dance community and it's just a special, how can I say,
it's not a hobby, there's a point when you just fall in love with it.
I love that. Tell me more though, because some people in this world sometimes feel they're
isolated, they're not growing in the right place. So for example, if they join a community like
the pole dance community, what is special about it? Even more, do you have some details, some stories
or some description? What makes it such a warm and welcoming community? And how different is it
to any other community like before when you are in Brazil and you expect people to be even friendly
even your neighbors and all that or anything similar? Now I have a story today because I was at
a pole camp in Turkey, an amazing pole camp and I met this girl and first we didn't talk
them much but then we were stretching together and since then we started to talk and after the
the pole camp we still talk and had chat. She is living in New York, you had her on her on your
podcast and now we are still talking, sometimes training together, online, we are booking the same
classes, it's just nice and she's supporting me when I'm struggling with something, she gives me
voices, now we have a lot of friends together also from the pole dance community and yeah I think
that's something special, you don't have this in every sport. There are not so many people around
there so helping and try to make you work it. So that's a special thing about pole dance and
yeah I've been to a lot of places and Brazil is people they are friendly, they have, most of them
have nothing so when you are there you see really poorness but they are living a happy lives and
they are one of the most friendly people I've ever met so I also have a lot of friends there
and I think but they are also as you said before they have the Latin throughout they are dancing so
I think it's kind of when you are in the dancing community then it's easy to make friends and to
meet friendly people. Thank you I appreciate everything you're sharing and I understand the power
of community and that's why in this podcast in many ways it's both women inspiring each other
and building a community of women that can see each other in a way where they can keep in touch,
connect and build a better future and a better world and transform this life into
much, much better and you as the mother of two daughters I'm curious about something
when you look at this world and the wars and the global warming and all those negativity what do you
think about the future of this life for your daughters is there something you worry about or do you
believe that there are communities in this world that will save the day and will change the future
or how do you deal with that because as a mother sometimes you might think oh my god the previous
generations are not leaving the world a better place for the next generations. Yeah I think times are
changing a lot and there are a lot of things to worry about about the the nature and about wars
so I think it's not not the best time for the next generation but they have another
how can I say they have another few on things so they are really trying to change something
so that's why I'm also trying to teach my children that when they want to change something
they need to kind of fight for it so especially sustainability and the nature are important for me as
well that's why I would my friend everything is sustainable all the packaging even the labels of my
poll were they are made of seed papers so when you plant them they grow flowers I think also we as
parents are responsible for making changes for trying to to change something in the world to make
better lives for our children. Thank you so much for this and okay you mentioned your brand which
is a beautiful segue so I have many questions about that first what was your inspiration for
the lovely pieces of pollware that you are creating where does it come from and why did you feel
it was a positive and interesting addition to the community. The story behind that is not so
how can I say it's a bit of a sad story in the beginning because the reason why I started
Bikaya pollware was my boss told me that he can't perform my position anymore and that was
shortly before Christmas and so he kicked me out and then after two weeks of shock I
thought okay what can I do with my life what what would I love to do and since it was a teenager
I always love to design growth so I'm not able to do anything but I've got a friend and she's
amazing in creating and suing so the idea for for pollware came up because when I started poll
then there was a lot of pollware but I never felt that comfortable in it and there was always like
okay it's not really working with this kind of clothes because there's too much fabric on the
wrong place so I decided to design my own pollware and she was helping me a lot with the first
designs and then I was searching for my manufacturing company the Corona came it took me a long
long time to find a perfect cut but I think now I've got it and you can see them in the online
and that's when I get back also to poll lenses because I think it's really important especially
in the beginning to have the right pollware because you need there's a reason for not having that
much fabric because you need much grip on the polls that you don't fall down and think you don't
get hurt so that's what I want to give the poll girls around the world a good looking and perfect
fit for poll lensing power that sounds wonderful and I understand your story of you being laid off
and then finding that inspiration to start bikaya and so to ask you even more as a female entrepreneur
how is that lifestyle many women want to start a business but they don't have entrepreneurship
experiences can you share some of the challenges the realities of being a girl boss
and maybe some of the difficulties and also some of the happiness of having your own brand and
being a female entrepreneur honestly it's hard it's really really hard and beside my my pollware
and the online shop I'm still working so I'm working as a marketing manager
I'm working as marketing manager now for I think 15 years so all the experience I got from this
and I also needed it for building my own online shop because I had to do a lot of of it by myself
because in the beginning you need a lot of money and it's not easy so sometimes I had about
four chops just to kind of afford everything and it's still not easy now the online shop is online
but you need to focus on so many things and it's like setting up a brand it's it's really hard work
that's not nothing comes from from just sitting and looking on other Instagram stories and waiting
for people to follow you so you need a lot of time you need money for for all of this and you need to
to keep doing it also when it knocks you down just stand up and keep on doing it that's what
what I can admit to other people who want to start a business 100% and I have this question which
it also happens that some girls and women when they get their heart broken they close themselves to
love and really try to avoid it and in your situation of course it was difficult you were with
someone and now you're a single mom raising two daughters did this make you close yourself maybe to
love and only focus on Paul dance as your forever lover or what did you do in order maybe to keep
yourself open-minded and think that not all people are similar to any specific person and what
happened in the past doesn't mean it will happen again yeah as I said in the beginning I'm
a really open-minded person and just when one thing doesn't work out it doesn't mean that
that when they comes another partner or another person into your life it doesn't work out with
this person so I'm still waiting for the right right one and I'm still open to a new relationship
or to meet the new people in my life I think and I think that's really important because
just when when you're okay in the beginning you can be frustrated you can be sad you can be
whatever but there should come a point when you close the book and just start again from you
thank you I agree 100% and to finish this with a positive note as well is there any advice or any
thoughts that you have for women in this world so that they will find more of their confidence go
out of their comfort zone follow their dreams even if they fall again and again and again maybe
some thoughts or lessons from your experience that can inspire more women to live their potential
and go for their big dreams yeah you need to love yourself no one's perfect I'm not perfect too
but you need to love yourself then you can be the self-confident and also show it to other people
and they will realize it 100% Elise thank you so much for sharing your voice your perspective your
experiences I'm grateful and I appreciate it very very much I wish you all the success all the
best things in this world and always keep going and I wish your daughters the same thank you so
much and thanks for having me in your podcast
