Episode Transcript
Hello, my name is Aziz and I'm the son of a divorced mother. She is really my superhero. That's why it's important for me to support women to share their uniqueness, their personalities, perspectives and emotions about life. too many women in this world feel alone, they worry about the judgment of others and they struggle with their mental health, but when they listen to the rare girls podcast where empowered women share their voices and tell their stories many women will feel, inspired to live a life of freedom and overcome all insecurities they will feel. It is a safe space to find, their confidence to remember, their unique beauty and to feel their self-worth, and they will connect with the sisterhood of rare girls who encourage their success and support their dreams. That's what this podcast is all about. My guest today is Kristina Ognyanovic. Kristina is a Serbian girl living her American dream for the last seven years in San Francisco. Like in the song, she can say that she left her heart in San Francisco and can call this city her new home. But still, never forgot where she is coming from and one part of her heart will still belong to Serbia. Studied, journalism and for some time worked at the TV station as a news anchor and reporter, and then completely changed her profession once she moved to the United States, now she is a manager, at the restaurant that is ranked as 5th best restaurant in San Francisco and manages more than 100 employees. Quiet and shy for the people that don't know her, and very open and outgoing with her closest people, a strong empath lives deep inside her, so she has the opportunity to feel the world's biggest sadness, but also its biggest happiness. But her zodiac, Gemini Queen of Duality, helps her balance it out and keep both sides under control. Hello, Christina. How are you today? Hi Aziz. I'm very good. How are you today? I'm in Gemini as well. So glad to be having this conversation. That's why our energy is matching right away. Thank you. Thank you. And to begin this conversation in a comfortable way, I ask you this question, which I ask often just to help you get into the groove of things. If your friends could describe your personality, what would they say about you? I think the first word what they what they would say is that I'm very emotional. since I'm empowered, emotions are the first thing about me. They're very important for me. I'm not a crying baby, but I love to sense people, other people's energy, what they're feeling at the moment, and we go from there. Like if I meet some people from, that I don't know from before, I would be very, very close. Like it's hard to get into me. It takes a little time to open. But once when I can feel and sense your energy and you feel matching, I'm gonna open up to you and you're gonna see and meet other new person that you didn't even imagine at the beginning that's the same person. It's like that. Right now my mom say that I'm glue in the family. And I was like, what do you mean? Why am I glue? And she always say, when I go back to Serbia, all family, I have a huge family, all family is there. Everybody wanna see me, no one is tired, no one has to go to work, everybody are there. We have fun, we are enjoying together, time together. And when I go back to United States, they're like, oh my God, we miss you. No one has time to see each other and meet each other. So my mom say like, I'm very like vibing positive energy and everybody likes to be around me. Like that's what they would definitely say. And my friends love that emotion inside deep of me like that love that I am emitting and always very positive. Even in hard times, I'm very positive. And they say my smile is radiant everywhere, wherever I go, it's just like your smile, even if your eyes are sad, it's okay. Your smile gives us hope and gives us something, something positive, so it's okay. That's what they would say. - I have so many questions, really, but I want to begin with this first one I'm a super impasse to even when I walk in the street, I feel everybody's emotions, everything, even cats and dogs and I would say even places and trees, I feel them, they have different feelings and different emotions. But to you, why is that a superpower? Because there are some people, including some women who see that as being too sensitive and they need to be stronger, they think it's a weakness. So to you, why is your level of ability to feel emotion so much, to live in that emotional space, a superpower and not a weakness? But you know, when I was younger, it was really hard to understand that part of me. And I was, I was considering myself as a very weak. And then, you know, years passed, and you learn a little bit more about yourself, you go deep inside yourself through meditation, you meet another people that they're more spiritual and they share some things with you and then you learn something about yourself that actually that's not a curse, that's not a bad thing, that's actually a very good thing but you need to learn how to when you feel other people energy you cannot let consume you. You cannot let like either their sadness or happiness overpower you. You need to be there and you need to understand them in that level where they are and help them or guide them because they also say that empath are the healers and I would consider myself a healer on one level. Even right now they say sometimes they tell me, "Oh my god your voice and your accent in the United it stays, it's very calming. I don't know. I don't know what is that inside of you. And then that's when I think, okay, that's not my accent. That's not how I talk. Is that a healer inside of me? Because over the years, I learned how to, how to control those emotions that come from other people, and just to put them in another way. And it just helps me to help other people in a way for them to feel better. to feel more relaxed in this world. So that's why I would say that's a good thing. It's not a bad, but just you need to learn how to control that, I would say. Especially since the inputs are healers and this world needs a lot of healing, I would say. So I think that's a very, very good thing. - I agree 100% and I want to know more. So you identify with being a healer to you. How does that work? Do you feel maybe you're a reincarnation of a saint or of a witch from the past, or you see yourself as a channel and a conduit for some divine energy, or how do you see your place in the world? And I'll add this to it, you're managing 100 people. Well, isn't that some people think that's too much emotion to heal every day, that makes you exhausted at the end of the day. So both, how do you see yourself? Do you see yourself as a Gemini queen who's representing some constellation of stars with your healing? I don't know, how do you see it? And how does it apply when you're dealing with so many people in a restaurant where things are hectic? People often are a bit frustrated 'cause things sometimes go slower than they should. So there is a lot of things you can pick up on that is too much, even if you protect yourself, because it's 100 people, it's not one, two or three. - It is sometimes hard, but I do have my little techniques that it works. It works like a charm. And every day it's easier, you know? I incorporate some things like a cup of the tea after, before work or after work for me to relax because if I'm not relaxed, if I'm not in a good state of mind, how I'm gonna help them, how I'm gonna be a good leader at work, right? It's just, I need to be good with myself, like a little walk, little yoga, cup of the tea. And on your question, I would consider myself as a witch. That's what I always say to my friends. I'm like, don't play, don't mess with me, please. You know that I'm a little bitch. (laughs) Or when they're sick or something, I have a million homemade remedies to say, okay, you're coughing, please drink onion tea, you will be better. (laughs) That's also one of the things that my friends would say about me. Okay, she always has so many advice about homemade remedies, deep breathing, pain of work, the same technique that I tell other people and help them to go through day to day, I help myself as well. I come prepared to work and after work I come home and I just need that quiet time for myself. And I sit down and I have a cup of common milk tea, calm, relaxed, breathe. That's how I channel all the energy that I got through the day. It just helps me to fall asleep better. But like I said, it was not easy. It was not always like that. At the beginning it was hard. It didn't know what to do with all that energy. Like you said, I felt the dog's energy too, the cat, animals, everybody, it was sometimes overwhelming. But the moment when you ground yourself and when you feel good with yourself and you're able to breathe through that, it gets better. It really gets better. Sometimes I do have my hard days when, for me it's hard to channel that energy. and I'm upset from any of the reasons, but it's just the moment when you sit down with yourself, when it's quiet around you, you quiet your mind, you breathe for a second and it just got better. It got better, yes. - It sure does, thank you. And to share a bit more of your story, how was your story of moving from Serbia seven years ago to San Francisco and was it a love at first sight experience where as soon as you set foot in the airport and went to San Francisco, you're like, I feel at home or did you need a period of adaptation? So more about your story, what motivated you to make this big change from continent to another continent, from the Balkan culture to the multicultural part of San Francisco, and even from studying journalism to now doing something very different. - That story is crazy. Sometimes people, they don't believe me, but it's crazy, yes. I got a green card, a lottery. It was out of nowhere. I just apply and I was like, okay, whatever happened, I'm gonna go to United States for six months, work a little bit and come back. So I came here with no English, zero English, just with my smile. And I was like, okay, smile opens all doors. It's fine, I will be fine. Along the road, I didn't feel fear. I felt like this is right move for me for some reason. And I'm the type of the person, if I feel that something is not for me, energy is everything for me. If I don't feel that that's not right for me, I'm not gonna do it, I'm sorry. If I don't feel going on, what if I don't feel this group of people, even the family, I'm sorry, I don't feel it, I cannot do it. but this, I felt like this was right move for me. So I moved to San Francisco and I was looking for a job. Since I didn't speak English very well, the only position that I could have worked was the host at the restaurant. That's how I started. I apply like 100 restaurants. No one didn't want it to hire. Only one, one place where I'm right now. So that's the place where I started as a host. I was a server there, bartender, and in less than two years, I learned English, I learned Spanish, and they gave me position as a manager. Right now, when I look at everything back, I'm not sure that I would do the same. I'm not sure that I would be crazy, like that's like seven years ago. And some people consider me as lucky, But I say, yeah, you see everything what is outside. You don't know what was happening inside me. Was a lot of, it was a lot of crying. It was a lot of questioning myself. Am I crazy? What I'm doing here? I had a good life back home. All my family's there. I don't have nobody here. But that other part of me was saying, no, you need to stay here. This is for you. It feels right. It feels good. And I met so many people here, amazing people, family, that they helped me through good and bad days. And I would say that this moving to United States it's just shaped me one today. It helped me to boost my confidence. Working in a man's world, I'm only one woman manager there. And working in the man world, it's not easy always. You need to fight for yourself. You need to fight for your space there. I feel that women need to prove themselves more, even though maybe my capabilities are better than someone else, but I just needed to prove more and not to show weakness sometimes, even though I'm crying inside, but it's okay. I'm gonna get through the day. I'm gonna show them that I can be a boss lady. (laughs) And it just helps for my inside group seeing everything outside here and how everything is changing very fast. It helped me to grow myself and become who I am today. Better healer, better woman, better sister, better daughter, friend. And I'm just not the same person like I was seven years ago when I came here. But like I said, it was not all good. It was a bad, bad in a way that I miss my family. I miss my friends. I felt lonely even though I was surrounded with so many people. I felt sad and I was asking myself, oh my God, what am I doing here in the different country where I didn't even speak this language? But now it's easy. So whoever see my road here in the story, they think, oh my god, she got easy everything. She got a green car, she moved here, city is beautiful. It's gorgeous city. It's diversity of cultures of food, food. Oh my god, that's amazing. I'm big foodie, I love to eat. Food is, it's amazing. And there is a infusion of everything like Mexican, Chinese, American food, a lot of everything. So I love myself right now and who I am right now. And then I'm excited actually to see what's gonna happen in the years that they're coming. I don't know, am I gonna stay here or am I gonna move back to Serbia or I'm gonna live anywhere else, maybe Dubai, who knows? But I do love myself right now and all the growth and where I'm going. And even the bad times, I love them. It gave me this wine right now. It made me stronger, I would say. I highly recommend to you Dubai. So many dynamic people, just a similar personality to you, have moved from Europe, the US, Asia, everywhere, all countries to be there. So you all have the right experience to take advantage of it. Yeah, people think that it's so easy just pick up the suitcase and move, but it's not. Right now, you don't have actual home. My home is there. My home is here. And I'm happy that I can call two places home. But sometimes it's also like, you, you're not there and you're not here. You're always somewhere in the middle, which is good. And it has two sides. Two sides. I understand. And the world is different to seven years ago, you said you even changed from seven years ago. The newer generation of girls live in a time where there is a lot of distraction, they can instead of changing their life and trying, let's say new opportunities, which can be scary, they can have some anxiety, they can worry, they can fail, they could instead be on social media or somewhere like that. What is your advice if thinking that there could be a whole generation who got used maybe even because of the pandemic to social isolation and therefore they're growing up without taking those scary risks that allow you to discover more without that curiosity. You said you're curious what will happen the good and the bad in the coming years. What is your perspective on this and any advice so that more women dare to take the risks outside of their comfort zone to grow and win the life that they desire. I would say always listen to your heart. Even if it's wrong, it's going to shape you into a new person that at the end you're going to love it. I mean our life doesn't make only good things. It makes a fear and the bad things and that's how we grow. If you don't have a light, how are you going to know that you have a light? That light exists. Or if you don't have a love, how are you going to know that love exists another way around, right? So it's not always easy to make the first step, but once you started, it gets easier. Even though one day you're going to cry, next day you're going to laugh and smile. That's good. That's life. And that's what makes us the humans and separate us from animals. It's just listen to your heart and open your heart for new possibilities. But sometimes if there is a couple of possibilities and you feel that this is not for me, I don't feel this energy, I don't feel this right, don't do it, it's fine. Even if you don't do it, it's fine. But something else maybe is going to happen and some other doors will open for you and just try it, just make a first step. And when you make a first step, it's fine. Like when you go to the gym, you didn't go to the gym for some time and then you start going just one day and then you're going to want it to come next day again. Just make a first step, listen to your heart even when it's not right. It's okay. Even if you make mistakes, don't blame yourself. Don't be too hard on yourself. We all make mistakes even if maybe my road or your road looks so good and so easy. It's not always and it's not going to be And that's fine. I think that's fine. That makes it even better. You know when you want to go to the, how you call it, a roller coaster, right? I'm very excited before the ride is started. And during the ride, I'm okay. So enjoy journey, not in the final destination. I think that's very important. That's very, very wise. Thank you for that. And you spoke about that some people say, "Oh, you're so lucky they don't know how much crying and inner turmoil you had, but also to ask you specifically about your metaphysical and spiritual beliefs as a healer and as a witch, how do you see the world works? Do you believe in destiny? Do you believe we are sharing and shaping our own reality or that we are discovering our destiny that is unfolding? Do you trust into a higher power or God to always protect you? So you think I'm going to be OK? Or you think, no, if I don't take care of myself, I can have bad consequences. What's your perspective on this? And what is your view of how life works? I definitely think I believe in love. I believe in all kinds of love, partnership, friendship, mother love, father love. I feel like love will move all of us. And there is something actually that we all have our destiny in this world. We all have our our part to bring to this world. And I think that's amazing. That that's really amazing. And we sometimes things if one door close, we are very sad and some of the things I'm still learning during my journey. Sometimes it's hard to have hope. I think we all need to have that hope deep inside of us. If we lose hope, then what do we have? We don't have nothing. And I think, like I said, everybody has their destiny. And then even if we don't get something. I know that what is for me is not gonna run away from me. It's gonna be there always for me. No one can take it that you cannot take my destiny from me, right? I cannot take yours. It's gonna be always there because that's my thing for this world to bring either good or bad, right? Because like we said, that's the part of the world. And if everybody do their part, world will be good and we will all be healed, right? And what I notice, it's a lot of people actually starting to wake up and realize that the more work they do on themselves, the more opportunities, the more things will open for them. They're going to be easier on other people and maybe help them to go through their things easier and bring more peace, right? More love. I say I always say more love. I think that's that's actually what moves me. That love, even love for work. I love my work. I love to go to work every day. I don't hate my life. I don't hate my work. I love it when I go there and all those people to talk to them, to hold them. It just motivates me to be better every day and to do more work for myself. And I don't know, it's It's easier. It's easier to go through the day. And speaking about love, let's speak about self-love. There are many women today who might be comparing themselves to social media posts or to other women and they don't love themselves. They think, "Oh, I'm ugly," or "I'm not like her," and so they don't feel their unique beauty or self-love and really honoring themselves. What is your advice to any any women who might be struggling with that so that they fall in love with themselves and give themselves the love that they need so that they have more to share with the world. - I did the same. Let's be honest. I did the same in the past. And I'm like, oh my God, I'm too chubby. I'm not skinny enough. I am not this, I'm not this. But the moment where I look at myself and I'm like, wow, you're so gorgeous today. I'm happy with who I am today. But when I look on some pictures from before, when I was thinking that I've had, and I was like, wow, I look gorgeous Dave. I was thinking that, that was so stupid. I really look good. But I think that comes with more with experience and more with healing yourself and working on yourself, working on your mind. Sometimes we need to quiet our mind and listen to our heart that tells us, no, you're gorgeous how you are. You don't need anything. The moment I started quieting more my mind that it was telling me, wow, look at those Instagram models. They look gorgeous. I mean, you look gorgeous with yourself. You don't need to be, I don't know, 6.1 feet and I don't know how many kilograms to be perfect. No, you are perfect who you are. Your friends and your family, they loved you. exactly like this, how you look. And the moment we try to quiet our mind and listen our heart more, we will start loving ourselves more. And every day we will recognize that beauty in our eyes. In the moment when you feel good with yourself, it's gonna be easier to love everybody around you and give love to others. But before that, we need to do a lot of work inside of us. Healing work, meditation, or whatever works for you. I mean, maybe something that works for me doesn't work for you and vice versa, but just find what is your passion. For example, I like to dance in the morning. I live by myself and I love to play music. I dance some African music, African beat. And I don't know, it gives me so much energy, so much love. And I like to walk barefoot at the beach, it makes me grounded and makes me good with myself. So find what is your passion, find what, what makes you grounded. And that's when your mind will be quiet, will be calm, and you're going to be good within yourself. And you're going to start loving yourself every day. I think that's a, that's a trick, I would say. That's a very powerful and effective trick. Thank you so much, Christina. It was my privilege and my honor to share your voice, to interview you and include you in this podcast. I loved listening to your story and your perspective, and I know it will inspire many women. And thank you so much for participating. Thank you Aziz so much in giving opportunity to be part of this and to let my voice for other people to hear not only women, men too, right? They can listen to this podcast as well, to move them and maybe heal them, give them more love through our words here. And yeah, so we can become better, we can love ourselves more and more and like I said always listen your heart and go wherever your heart tells you and everything is going to be good at the end. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music)
