Episode Transcript
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 0:08
Femininity is powerful in all its forms, exceptional women, rare girls must be appreciated in every way for their perspectives, actions, thoughts, and their unique ways of being. Such rare girls are inspiring. And this is what this podcast is all about. Hello, my name is Aziz and my guest today is Oleksandra Havruk. Oleksandra is a student of bio science, with a major in genetics at University of Manitoba in Canada. Born in Luhansk, she grew up in Kyiv, as a dreamer, and an active girl who was involved in many extracurricular activities from art to dance to business to it. Currently, she is passionate about witchcraft, meditation, gardening, and drawing. Oleksandra, how are you today?
Oleksandra Havruk 1:11
Hi, I'm very good. How are you?
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 1:14
I'm happy. I'm honored. I'm optimistic. And the first question I want to begin with and I'm curious about is why witchcraft?
Oleksandra Havruk 1:27
Um, maybe because it's like, if they asked me to the nature, and then I can express myself just in any way they want to. So there's no need to follow any religion. But you can. And you can just be yourself, you don't need to change for anything. So you just being yourself and express your inner energy to the world. And just Kincaid was either this kind of philosophy.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 2:03
Thank you. And is witchcraft to you more of a game or a hobby? Or did you experience anything that made you think, Wow, this is for real,
Oleksandra Havruk 2:15
Actually, it started as a game. So I am like, a huge fan of Harry Potter. But then I just started to look at what I can do in real life. Because I really want to be rich. And then I just found a lot of literature. And I began to learn more about this. So it's kind of real, and some people do it professional. But for me, it's just like a game, which can be hard for now.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 2:47
Thank you. And since you mentioned, it's a way for you to express your energy. And this podcast is about women and girls and all that. What is for you the definition or the experience of femininity? What is it to be a woman? Is it an energy? Is it a behavior? Is it something you can describe? And if so, what can you say?
Oleksandra Havruk 3:14
I can say that being a woman is just feeling a woman. So you can do anything, just say anything, you can be masculine woman, you can be feminine woman, you can be anything, you can be strong, you can be, I don't know, weak, you can be anything. So for me, femininity is just the way women sell themselves and just the way they feel and behave and just leave.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 3:43
Thank you. And you spoke about the importance of expressing your inner self. And I can see how that energy and putting that energy in the world can be an art and drawing even gardening and witchcraft, but, or even dance, but meditation. What's the joy? What's the happiness? What's the interesting thing for you about meditation?
Oleksandra Havruk 4:10
So meditations are just like relaxing. I don't know. Think for me. This makes me calm and focused in some way. Also, it makes me feel better. I feel like something is I need just wakes up. So with energy, and I'm able to do more things to do better to do more efficient. It's just the way I try to grow.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 4:42
Thank you. And when you compare your friends previously in Ukraine, and now in Canada, do you seem to find more of your people in one of the countries or it doesn't matter? It's all part of the journey of life and you can find people Who are your type of people anywhere in the world?
Oleksandra Havruk 5:04
That's quite controversial question because in Ukraine, I had my people like, very close to me, and I feel that they're like kind of my soul mates. Here in Canada. If we're talking about Canadians, I don't want to offend anyone, but they're too lazy. And I just cannot find anyone close to me that way that was in Ukraine. But also, I found here Ukrainian girls and angel that they can be my friends like that closed that they were in Ukraine. So this kind of controversial question. So I just didn't know how to answer it. Because I do love Ukrainian girls and Ukrainian people. Because their passion because they're hard working. And because they're no positive. They're very friendly. But in Canada, you can find people also friendly, but the dreaded because they can smile on your face, and then talk a little, a lot of dirty things about you and your back. So yeah, I would prefer people in Ukraine.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 6:22
Thank you. And how do you know, you spoke about people being lazy or betraying you behind your back. But beyond that, have you ever had chemistry whether with a boy or a girl or somebody that from the very first second you felt while I feel like I know this person all my life, you feel magnetically attracted to the person you want to be around them, you're curious about them. Or for you, you need always multiple meetings to develop that connection. And it's never something that happens in an instant,
Oleksandra Havruk 6:59
I think I had this feeling but I'm the kind of people who try to inhibit that thing. Because like, a huge part of my life, I was the girl that was trying to be not following the heart, following that mind. So I try to inhibit any feelings. So I could be so my mind would be clear, and I could make some decision, then only my brains. So I believe I had this feeling of first sight love and something, close it. But I used to hate this. And I don't think need more. No communication meetings, events, common memories to lead this feeling the alive into this feeling to develop itself. So yeah.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 8:02
Why analyze everything with your brain? Does it make you feel safer? Or is it something that you noticed with your friends in Ukraine? So you develop that habit? Or what is it for you? The reason is it safety? Is it fear,
Oleksandra Havruk 8:20
That is just a fear for me is that someone can hurt me. So I try to hide in my shell, and not to show up. So when I meet people, like you people, so I hear that make friends with them or something like this, I always saw them myself as a fictional character. So just make up my mind, this person that I would think would see them, Indonesia, that person. And then if I feel that I can try those people I tried to uncover myself and so my inner so because I'm afraid that they could hurt me or they could reject me.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 9:14
Thank you. And you mentioned, you want to be rich, and that's why you're interested in witchcraft. So what difference would be enrich make in your life? Would you feel more safe, less able to be heard more free? Or how does it relate to you adapting to people and not showing them your true self until you trust them?
Oleksandra Havruk 9:41
About what you're saying? I think that if we can do it in different ways, and so I think that the richest people are the people who can develop themselves and who feel themselves in their bodies, in their day of behavior in their life. So to be that kind of person, I just need to develop myself and this thing of fictional character of me as really disrupting me from that past to grow, to become real me. Because I'm not facing the real problem. I'm not facing myself, I'm not showing up myself. And I make people feel that they know me, but they don't know me. And that's like, not issue of trust to people. But it's issue of trust thing myself. Because I didn't feel myself in my body. I didn't feel myself in my personality, I think that I have a lot of creaky issues, I feel that I don't look good enough. And that all makes me feel that I'm not good enough for people around me. But I want to be friends with them. So I just make something that could suit them. And that's very bad, because I cannot say that I love myself was that point. And I cannot love myself until I take myself as I am. But I gotta take with all this, I am not able to become rich as a personality, because I cannot show myself to other people. I cannot show myself to me,
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 11:36
thank you for sharing. And there is something in psychology to that. Even if you open yourself, supposedly as a theory, and someone loves you for you, but you don't love yourself for who you are. You will not trust those people or think they're stupid, because you say, how can they love me? If I cannot love myself? Do you think this would be correct, or if someone knew the real you and love that it would really be appreciated positive and no resistance to it.
Oleksandra Havruk 12:12
I actually have the person who loves me for thing that I do not love him myself. And now I'm starting to tell them and appreciate it. But it's still very complicated, because, um, I think they're stupid for loving me for some things. For example, my boyfriend tells us that I have like, really good body, but I don't do that status in the mirror. Also, he says that I'm very wise person. But I cannot do it. So I think I am childish, and I'm infantile. So like, we are not going to the same solution to the same thought. And that makes me feel so maybe I am stupid, or maybe he is stupid. So he doesn't see. Or maybe I'm lying to him in some ways. Or maybe he just made up a fictional character in his head, or maybe that fictional character that I made up for him, doesn't want to come off for me. And that in some ways that I tried to, that I'm starting to love himself, I feel that okay, yeah, I appreciate that. He allows it to me, also.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 13:36
Thank you, and you were for some time passionate about dance. How can you perform as a dancer? If you're not really feeling your body in the way you described? How was that experience? Did you do it on purpose? To try to develop a better mind body connection? Was it something you tried, but you didn't find excellence in? Or how can you both perform as a dancer while being distant or disconnected from your body?
Oleksandra Havruk 14:09
Actually, I started dancing when I was considering myself as oh, maybe I'm not good enough. And that was the really good period in my life. Because when I dance, I didn't feel myself as anything. I don't feel the body. I didn't feel the My sole personality or anything. I was just filling the music. So I have the music in this moment for dancing. But then I had a really hard period, like bullying in school and teenager hood. So I've heard I stopped dancing. And then in two or three years ago, when I was 15, I went to the pull downs. So from this point, I started to concern myself as a body as a girl, as a human being, not just something that lifts, but this person as a unique, something, they can be developing anything. And my body was kind of your shell for me. So I was like, okay, it was that was what I'm supposed to it was that, and those damn things made me feel that I'm relate to the body.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 15:35
Thank you, and how was this related to you choose in genetics as a major?
Oleksandra Havruk 15:42
we can go there play, I would say that maybe that's just the thing that I found, you know, that kind of scientific films when you see those scientists and form and then you see that how they make something super cool something fantastic, like different creatures or making someone be something else, like superheroes of how to make this, that's the started from that period of my life and I was very young, then maybe we can say that I want to change myself. And that's why I want to go to the genetics so I can find something that can make change my surrounding. But then if we just take a look at the top of this situation, we can say that they're just very interesting. And that's just the way I try to learn about myself as a human, about everyone around me as a humans, and also about our interconnection, like how my parents related to me how my grandparents affected my self right now. Like, my body, my mind anything. So that's where interesting.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 17:04
Thank you. And that kind of genetic or materialistic perspective, or scientific perspective on reality? How do you combine it? Or how is it different to you when you're being a witch using witchcraft?
Oleksandra Havruk 17:22
Actually, it doesn't really differs because genetics can be not only about animals, or people or anything like this, but also about plants. And in witchcraft, which just uses us a lot of herbs, crystals, different soils, different compounds, different materials that can combine. So that's kind of chemistry, but in a really elementary way. So you just combine one herb with the other, and then it makes something cool, as long as chemistry and genetics, so you can just combine different liquids, compounds, different things, and then have something really, really great. So that's just the way I am attached to the genetics as a, like my hobby interact with my future profession. I think that's kind of cool. But I'm living this thing.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 18:27
I agree. It sounds very cool. And we cannot end without speaking about Ukraine, the situation, the war? How was your experience of that first day of the war? How did it change you? How does it make you feel everything?
Oleksandra Havruk 18:45
Um, let's start from the point when I came to Canada, so I came to Canada in October of 2021. And I can came to here in the January this year, and I think all of my friends, family, everyone, and it's like, Well, cool. That's pretty good. But I'm not going to come back in Ukraine. Because like, they're just living their lives. They don't need me. So I was just like, delete it from data lives. Then I did not have the purpose to come back. Then 24 of February. I, that was the end of my day. So that was the you know, that was 23rd of February. That was the end of Monday, but the beginning of the day in Ukraine for the force. And I just found those news. And then I was like, no, no, that's fake. That's the something just no fake. But then I thought a lot of years and I started to call my mom. That When my parents, grandparents, and I called my grandparents and my grandma to the phone, and she just cried, and she started to say goodbye, well, sweetie will love you just remember this, I don't think we would survive. And that would kill me. I was crying the whole night, I couldn't sleep, I started to lose my breasts. Also, then, I knew that my parents were on the West Ukraine. So they were kind of safe. And so to convince my mom to just clear the country was my browser because he has a condition. Just a physical problem with his knees. It was his goodness, I'm sorry. If he would stay there. They will probably have troubles with his health, my mom's house and just they couldn't. They were betrayed. Then I started to call my grandparents near the Kyiv. And I'll start crying. And then my mom called me and said, Well, okay, you just calm down. We're fine. We'll survive that every single day. Fine. Just go go, go get some sleep. And I couldn't. So I just went to the lounge and one of the floors in our residence and started crying, really crying, just to that hysterical crying. And then there was a girl who's also from Ukraine, but she was kind of resident advisor. So she just cashed me in with our crying together. But then we come down, and now I'm just living with this. Every day I read my dad, I text my grandma. I ask how are they? And I'm just hoping that they will end with the victory of the crane.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 22:01
I agree. 100%, Slava Ukraini. And for you, Alexandra, what do you think some people sincere thinking in a genetic kind of way. And I'm sure that in many ways, trauma is what makes organisms evolve and grow and become stronger and better, and that without the irritation of the environment, life doesn't continue. But in reality, some experts say that this war will leave the Ukrainian society and people traumatized for at least two generations, and that there will be less happiness less everything when before that is when it comes to positivity, optimism, hope, and all that. Do you agree with this? Or do you think that when there is a victory, the celebration will be so big, everybody will be more excited, more grateful, more, in the moment more happy and more positive?
Oleksandra Havruk 23:02
I think that there will be a huge celebration, people will be so happy, so proud that they won. But after that all goes down to they start to live their normal lives, they would notice that there is no people around them, like really close people, lovely people that they raised that they grow up with. So that would also traumatize them. And I've looked at those kids who are right now in Ukraine and experiencing this world, by their own experience, their own lives, that would be also very traumatized. And then it would go to the next generation and next generation, till the people forget about those horrible things. I mean, like, not forget about whole world, but forget about the experience that they survived. They just go forward and just leave their lives trying to find some happiness trying to go back to those times. So maybe more like, more likely that we that Ukrainians will be depressed and negatively doing about Russians, and all the negative energy in the world will be constructed on Ukrainians because that is the trauma that is the horrible life experience.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 24:37
Thank you so much, Alexandra, this was really enlightening eye opening and enriching and very interesting. And I wish you strength, evolution and for you to express your energy and to become more and more of the person that you wish to be. Thank you and again And again Slava Ukraini!
Oleksandra Havruk 25:01
Thank you, Heroyam Slava!
