Episode Transcript
Hello, my name is Aziz and I'm the son of a divorced mother. She is really my superhero. That's why it's important for me to support women, to share their uniqueness, their personalities, perspectives, and emotions about life. Too many women in this world feel alone. They worry about the judgment of others and they struggle with their mental health but when they listen to the Rare Girls podcast where empowered women share their voices and tell their stories, many women will feel inspired to live a life of freedom and to overcome all insecurities. they will feel. It is a safe space to find their confidence, to remember their unique beauty and to feel their self-worth, and they will connect with the sisterhood of rare girls who encourage their success and support their dreams. That's what this podcast is all about. My guest today is Hanak Wagnani. Hanak is a model, an aspiring actress and a business student at Harriet Watt University in Dubai, United Arab Emirates. Originally from Rajasthan, India, some of her hobbies include fitness, gymming, basketball, swimming, dancing and traveling. Hanak also studied theatre and performance with Enterprise in University of Leeds, United Kingdom. Hanak, how are you today? I am all good at the Aziz. Thank you so much for this lovely introduction. I'm feeling great and super happy to be here. I'm happy. I'm honored. I feel very, very lucky to have you here and very curious to know much more about you. So I'll begin with this nice first question, which is, if your friends and the people who know you best could describe your personality, what would they say about you? It's a very interesting question. My friends always have a lot to say about me. Well, I think three main characteristics about me would be wild, a little bit crazy, confident, definitely, and powerful fears. Yeah. I like that. I believe the whole world should encourage women's more crazy and wild side because it's the energy that allows you to go out of your comfort zone into the unknown, and all of the growth, all of the potential is out there. So two things. One, what is your definition of being wild and crazy? And secondly, were you always this way or did something happen or did you do things that allowed you to unleash this side of you so that other women can get some inspiration? So for me, being wild is not being a rebel. I think those are two very different concepts. I don't break the rules, but I still do what my heart desires without having to feel judged by others. So if I have to make a decision for myself, I will go forward with it and make a decision. I usually try not to keep any regrets because I'm taking the decisions on my record. Later on, I much rather have the feeling of like, you know what, it's okay, I'll deal with it later, rather than having, oh shit, maybe I should have tried it and regret it. I regret not not doing it right now. So that is my definition of being wild. Initially, actually I was a people pleaser. So when I was in school, I was a very popular kid and I always felt like everyone's looking at me and I need to be a certain way. I need to give out the certain energy that people are only, like I wanted people to like me and they always liked me. And I feel like the more I grow older and the more mature I get, I realized that no matter what you do in life, no matter how good you are, no matter how nice you are, there's being everyone's favorite is not a thing. Like it's something that's unachievable. No matter what you do, people always have something to say about you, or they're always going to dislike you for something. I was trying to achieve something which is unachievable, but with age, I realized that that's not who I am. Now I've become very straightforward and I'm not a people pleaser anymore. Thank you for sharing that. That was very, very inspiring. And to ask you more, what motivates you being that girl who is more straightforward and more in her wild side without being a rebel? Is it that you feel that life is too short and you're like, no, a life, let's go. Or is it that you don't want to regret in the future and you spoke about regret and that's what motivates it? Or is it that you're so full of emotions, you cannot contain it and it has to get out somehow and somewhere? Or in general, it's like you always saw yourself as something and you found yourself imprisoned in an identity. And so freeing yourself from that was a motivation. Or how did it work inside you in order to push you into this maturity? I feel like because I was young and I was always trying to have people like me. As I grew older, I think I got tired of being someone I wasn't. So all of my craziness, my immaturity, it all came out and I was like, I have to channel this somewhere. I feel like a lot of opportunities come your way. They might not work out, but I don't want to miss out on any opportunity. I want to take every opportunity that comes my way. I want to hustle harder so I get those opportunities for myself. It's okay if it doesn't work out. It's okay if I get rejected. It's completely fine. But I don't want to have the regret of, "Oh, I did not even try for this. Oh, I did not even work hard for this." I don't want to have those kind of regrets. I don't want to miss out on life. And I think life is really long. I don't think life is short. I think life is really long. Everyone has a lot of time to do what they want to do. You just have to channel it the right way. I really, really love that. And I resonate for me that life is something so precious that we need to live with a regret minimization strategy where we should just, because I noticed we should just go for it because I noticed that we never regret doing things, but we always regret not taking the bold moves to make it happen. And this is very connected to my next question. You said that your fears, that's one of the words you use to describe yourself. There are a lot of women who struggle with worry, with anxiety. They think, "Oh, what if I try it and then I make a mistake and then I'm a bad person?" Or, "What if I fail?" And then my parents will be disappointed, especially if they come from Indian cultures where parents are so tough and they are so demanding. Or they might think, "Well, if I do it," and then the people who grew up with me who told me, "No, no, don't take that risk." They'll be like, "I told you so. I told you so." Whatever it is. So what makes you fierce? What does that mean? And how can other women be fierce when they're facing that kind of anxiety, perfectionism, and fear of the judgment of people? - I know it's easier said than it's done. I'll just say, just go for it. Put your heart into it, put your soul into it, put everything you have into it and go for it. Never be scared of committing to something. And if you're 100% committed to it, you will get the results. It's fine even if you don't like if you think you gave you 100% and you're not getting the same reciprocation back, it's okay. Don't feel don't be I feel like women have this problem of being so harsh on themselves. And there I've seen women I've seen women beating themselves down like, Oh, I need to be perfect. I need to be this I need to be a certain way. But you don't have to like, sometimes it's okay to take the easy way out. Life always gives you two options. One is the difficult way and one is the the easy way. If I'm going to take the easy way out and I'm still getting the same results, it's okay. It's okay to take a step back, relax and go for that decision. Fortunately, fortunately, very fortunately, my parents are very supportive. So I don't come from a strict household. I remember telling my parents when I was eight years old that, "Oh, I want to become an actor. I want to go into the Bollywood industry." And I know a lot of parents would say, okay, she's just a child, like shut up, you're gonna, you're gonna grow up and you want to become something else. But my parents were very supportive. And they took it very seriously. They're like, if you want to do something, you have to work hard for it. And Bollywood industry is, it's the Indian industry, right? So it's, there's politics everywhere. But when I told them I want to become an actor, they were so supportive. My mom took me to New York, she took me to LA. I've done all of these things. And my parents are just so proud of the person I am today. So for all women, I think you have to be really confident and fierce within yourselves. And don't be scared about other people judging you. People are going to judge you no matter what. No matter you're doing the best thing. If you're going to do the best thing, if you're going to be helpful to people, be kind to people, other people are going to say, "Oh, why is she wasting her time like that? Does she not have anything else to do?" People are going to say no matter what you do, you become a very big person, they're still going to talk about you. So just get it out of your head. Do what you like, do what your heart pleases, and just follow your soul. - One billion percent. And I have two questions actually, but I'll start with this one. Nowadays, in the age of social media and now AI retouching, so it's not even Photoshop anymore, it's much, much more. Women, when they go home or they're just taking a break, they're scrolling through TikTok and scrolling through Instagram, seeing the lives and the looks of some women that they will compare themselves to. And they think, "Oh, wow, I don't look like her. Maybe I'm unworthy. Maybe I'm a person who's ugly. They don't see their unique beauty." And it's even more exaggerated in your case, because when you go to modeling casting, you see a beautiful woman all around you. Maybe you're tempted to compare if you're comparing yourself to Bollywood actresses as an actor or even in a talent. Maybe some actress can do something that you're not yet someone who has mastered. Well, how do you believe in yourself? How do you stay strong? How do you see your own unique beauty no matter what and believe in your unique talent, no matter what other people are doing? And what is your advice to other women related to this? - Comparing yourself to other women and other people is actually very normal. Everyone goes through it and I go through it as well when I go for an audition or for a casting I see someone looking better than me or performing better than me. I always have this small self-doubt that oh maybe she'll get the part maybe I won't get it and I just want to say one more thing that whatever you see on social media is not true. People are putting their best selves out there on their social media because that's who they want to show the other people that this is who I am, they can have thousand problems but they're not going to show that on social media. They want to show their best life on social media. So comparing with that, I don't compare myself with other people on social media, but yes definitely when I go for castings and stuff and I see other women. But then I always say this to myself that there's a reason why I'm here and there is a reason why we both are standing in the same place today auditioning for the same role. So it's okay if she's better than me, but I need to give in my full potential. So yeah, that's what I would say. Thank you for this. And before the interview, we discussed for a little bit and you mentioned that you have your own unique take on what feminism is. Can you share a bit more about that and just share your thoughts? Maybe it can create some epiphanies within the women listening. For me feminism, like the shortest perfect definition that I resonate with, is feminism is supporting men and women equally. Men and women are equal. You cannot bring a man down, you cannot bring a woman down. We're equal. Our physical abilities might be different. Our emotional abilities might be different, but we're both equal. And I've heard some women say that, oh, I always feel pressured by this man, or I always feel like I'm intimidated by men and everything. I don't know why that I don't know why this feeling is arising because we're all equal. And you might feel this way. That's completely fine. But I feel like in this, the men should also step in and make the woman feel comfortable if a woman is feeling like that and she's expressing her opinion. But suppression only comes from a way where if you let someone suppress you or if if you let someone intimidate you. If you're gonna stand there equally with someone, shoulder by shoulder, you're gonna say, "Oh yeah, I'm equal to you. You're not gonna have that feeling." And I've seen a lot of women also bring men down and I don't go by it. Like I really don't because men have their own problems. They're just not emotionally able to communicate effectively. And women have power to that because they're very good with their emotions. They know how to place their emotions Absolutely where it has to be. Men, I think, lack that, but it's not fair to them if we just keep bringing them down. - Thank you for sharing that. I appreciate it very, very much. And I'm curious too, why did you choose to study business? Because you're a person who is into more of the creative fields. Is it because maybe your parents were telling you, get that diploma as a Plan B, just in case the creative arts do not work for you? Is it because you plan to create a business that is around acting or artistry in a way and so you want to master both? Or how did you choose what was the decision point of choosing business because it is something that is more on the logical side? Well, for you to be fully an actress or even a model that expresses the emotion, expresses the aesthetic, you need to be into that emotional side of yourself, that creative side, much more. Can you share a bit more about that? So like I said, my parents are fortunately very supportive of whatever career decision I want to make. Coming back to it, I still feel like no matter how much talent, this is personally my opinion, I feel like no matter how much talent you have, no matter how good you look, luck factor is very important, especially when you're being creative. Luck factor is extremely, extremely important, especially if you want to go into the acting or the modeling industry. There's something that meets the eye and so you're considered lucky. It's not always about the talent. Considering that, I am someone who likes to go with the flow, but I also need to have like a plan. So if something doesn't work out for me, I would, I do have plan B's and plan C's and plan D's or whatever. So business actually, I did study business with marketing in my high school, which is why I decided to pursue it in my college as well, because it's something that interests me. I love doing marketing. I do marketing content creation for a lot of companies. So I enjoy doing it. And I want to, if acting doesn't work out for me, I want to open my own theater production company. And my mom has her own business. So I want to take care of that as well, because it's like my baby. So I want to take care of that as well. And I decided to study business because it generally thinks it's going to I generally think it's going to add to my career. Thank you. And you mentioned earlier the concept of soul and now luck factor. Can you share a bit more about your spiritual side and how do you view the world? Do you view the world as maybe a manifestation of your soul that is created to teach you lessons that help you evolve? Are you a lot more pragmatic? Are you thinking that you create your destiny or you're exploring it and discovering it or it's a mix of both? What is it about the way that you live? Maybe the way that you get that confidence that relates to some beliefs, some metaphysical beliefs that allow you to see the world as a good and empowering place. I love traveling. I love exploring different places. And I love observing people. Like this is something I really like doing. And it's very important that if you're doing acting as well. But I think spiritually, I feel like you just have to be a nice person till you are nice to others, no matter if they don't like you, if they have harsh feelings towards you, you just do your part. Do your part in the world, and everything else is going to fall into place. And I believe that I have faith in God that whatever he does for me, it's going to be the right thing. Obviously, I don't follow it blindly. I completely work hard for it. It's not blind faith, but I also have faith that whatever if God is giving me trouble today, he's going to make sure that tomorrow is going to be a better day for me, because God only puts so much into your plate that you can handle. He'll never give you something more. So if you cannot handle it, God won't put it in your plate. So I have faith and I spiritually believe that I should be a nice person, no matter what happens because certain situations can make you want to think like, "Oh, I wish I wasn't in this situation. Oh, I wish that this person didn't do this to me." Situations make you think negative things, but the main focus would be, how do you control your thoughts and how do you empower them? Thank you so much for this. I love it very, very much. And I know you touched on this point earlier, but I want us to expand it because it's so important. There are many, many women who are not living the life that they dream of. They're living the expectations of their parents or what society told them, or they just studied something they hated. They thought they would love it, but then they have a job in that domain just because they already did the study and the diploma. What's your advice to other women so that they actually feel free, feel brave, feel fierce enough in order to live life on their terms, create their potential and really live this long but also short life in a way that resonates and reflects their soul. I think people who come from a strict family background or who cannot live according to their own terms, it's very important you address these issues. It's very important to ask for help. You cannot expect someone to just be like, "Oh yeah, I understand all your problems. I'm here to save." You know you have to address these problems. Even if it's with your parents, Don't ignore it. Don't think that, okay, just because my parents are saying it, it's going to be the right thing for me. Why do you lay? I have heard people say that, you know what, it's fine. I'll just get arranged marriage done because later on I can tell my, if the marriage doesn't work out, I'll just tell my parents that, oh, it's your choice. How can you take such a big decision for yourself, but depending on other people? Don't do that. Ignorance is really bad. Address the issue, address the problem, Make them understand this is what used to happen in your generation, but this is what I want to pursue. These are the things I want to do. The generation is changing. And then if they don't understand, seek help from outside. And I'm not saying disrespect your parents. No, do not do that because your parents have bought you up. They've given you so much. Don't disrespect your parents, but do address the issue and don't ignore it. Talk to them about it. Make them understand. You can always make someone understand if you really want it that bad. I feel like people fight for so many things and people are so stubborn about things. So if you really want it, you will make someone understand that this is how badly I want it. You have to help me. Thank you. And I want to explore a bit more your actress side for two reasons. One, do you believe that acting is actually a form of therapy that helps you gain your confidence and understand that any limitations within your personality are not real. So you expand yourself to anything. Plus, what do you love most about it? You said since childhood you wanted to be part of Bollywood. I interviewed an actress who was an immigrant and therefore she had a lot of stereotypes put upon her and for her acting was a way to break the mold and that she can be one day a pirate, another day, a dancer and second day, a doctor or whatever. And therefore she felt she's not restricted by any stereotypes because she can be anything in the world. And that's why she loved acting. And it was such a passion for her. So one, acting, whether it's a form of therapy, you recommend to other women if they're interested. And secondly, what drives you, what motivated you since childhood to become an actor? Acting is honestly so important to me. And when I tell people I do acting and modeling, they're just so confused because modeling, there's no expressions whatsoever. And acting, you're having so many expressions at one time. But I think acting is being truthful to yourself in different circumstances and different situations. This is the perfect definition of acting. You don't have to be someone else. I'm not trying to be a doctor today or a engineer tomorrow. I'm just trying to be what a normal person is, but in just different circumstances, different situations. I'm not impersonating someone else. It's just me how I would do this. I think I used to take acting workshops. So with a lovely lady, her name is Shabana. I adore her. She is, she means the world to me. She's a very important person in my life. So yeah, coming back. I think acting made me feel so vulnerable in different situations. And that's the best part of it. I used to come from a long tiring day after attending university after going to the gym, playing basketball. I would go for my acting workshops. And the first few days I realized I wasn't doing anything. I couldn't do anything. And after a couple of days, I realized that, oh, I was crying today. I was getting angry. I was frustrated. And it was all just pent up emotions coming out of my system, coming out of my body. I felt so light and I feel so comfortable with myself. And I could talk. Like I know a lot of women who have problem about asking for help. I am one of them as well. I will never ask anyone for help. But after these workshops, I was able to tell people my problems. And I always have this issue like, Oh, someone's not going to listen to my problems, because why would they care? Like they don't have the time to listen to me and stuff. But after these workshops, I realized that no, it's really important for your sanity to bring these emotions out of your head. And when I was small, I told my mom that I want to become an actor because I don't want to lead a nine to five boring job. I want to I like how the other person you interviewed said that I want to be a doctor tomorrow. I want to be an engineer day after I want to be a dancer. That was me as well. Like you can do so many professions by just being in one profession and you can explore so much more. So yeah. Thank you so much, Hanak. It was my privilege and my honor to share your voice, to hear your story and your wisdom as well. You have a lot of it. You lived many lives within your acting career and that's why you can extract wisdom from so many professions and lifetimes or maybe you're an old soul. I don't know. Thank you again for participating. I wish you all the success. I wish you to truly impact the world and again, I appreciate you participating. Thank you so much Aziz for having me. You are doing such a wonderful job by doing these podcasts and helping us voice our opinion. I'm so grateful for the opportunity. Thank you so much. You are welcome. I appreciate you so much, really.
