E012 Anna Kontseba

Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 0:08 femininity is powerful in all its forms exceptional women, rare girls must be appreciated in every way for their perspectives, actions, thoughts, and their unique ways of being. Such rare girls are inspiring. And this is what this podcast is all about. Hello, my name is Aziz and my guest today is Anna Kontseba, an exceptional Ukrainian girl. FLEX, alumna of 2019, a former city representative of Oman, and a student of international economic relations that Kyiv National Economic University. Ana, how are you today? Anna Kontseba 0:58 I'm good, thank you. I'm doing all right. The thing is, like I'm not in my home country right now. But that's the situation. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 1:11 So let's follow your mood and your emotions when what is something that you've been thinking about recently that demands your thought and your attention. And that's something that you really, really, really wants to explore and share. Anna Kontseba 1:29 Right now, I'm in Munich, in Germany. And my thoughts are kind of confused, because at the same time, I need to live my normal life. But because of the war in Ukraine, everything has changed drastically. And I'm trying to explore this world, to see the country to adjust a new culture. And that's what's going on in my life, basically, right now. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 2:03 I have so many questions. And thank you, you said your thoughts are confused. Where are your thoughts? Not confused before? Is this something new? Or is it different now? Anna Kontseba 2:16 Well, before the war has started, I enjoyed my life, everything was excellent. I heard my favorite work, a lot of friends and traveled a lot did what I like. But right now, it's like new circumstances that we have to adjust to. And it's a new experience as well. So if you if we all treat it as something new, and only see good opportunities in it, I think this way is easier to accept the situation. So yeah. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 2:58 And you spoke about adapting to the culture there in Munich. A lot of people are even Ukrainians before the war, because I have friends who said before they wanted to have the experience of living abroad. But now they said, well, we don't want to be forced into that experience. It's better for it to be a choice. Did you have such a goal? And I know you had the flex experience of adapting to the US? How is that process of adaptation? What's difficult about it? Did you dream about it? Or have goals to spend even more time abroad? And so it was something you're prepared for? Or how is it? Anna Kontseba 3:43 Well, that's not something that I was prepared for. But I wanted to spend a semester studying in university somewhere in Europe, to try the education. Unfortunately, I don't have this opportunity right now. But if I stay here longer than I than I, like, if I stay here longer than I expect, then probably I might join the university here. But it was I can agree that the living abroad can be a good experience when it's not forced. And probably right now, it's hard for a lot of people because when you don't know when you return home, it's really stressful. It's complicated and a lot of just a lot of pressure on people. But for me, because of my flux experience, it wasn't that hard to adjust mentally to this situation. I think that the good thing about my situation is that I have friends here in Germany and I also will Like, I learned German a little bit. So it's not that stressful if I went to France or Spain, for example. So this country is a better option for me. And also, because of my Flex experience, I already know what difficulties I might have. And I just prevent myself from having them. So I try to stay positive and get, like, the best out of it out of this experience. I hope so. Of course, it's not something that I'm like this period in my life, it's not something that I planned, not something that I get, like, only awesome emotions about. But yeah, we'll see how it goes. It's just because of the flex experience and experience living abroad, it's not as stressful for me as it can be for many people. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 6:02 Thank you. It's really, you know, I understand your situation, it's your whole world was turned upside down. And when you want to destress and forget all the negative news and not be so glued to all the updates about Ukraine and the war and everything. What do you do to take care of your mental health? Anna Kontseba 6:27 First of all, I tried to stop negative thoughts. I used to, like, do a lot of yoga and fitness. But right now, I'm just completely lost about that. So I don't do anything specific to my mental health. Instead, I'm just trying to stay strong, to critically analyze the situation, see that, like, I can't really influence on like anything right now. So I just have to accept it and be strong, be patient, and then somehow, everything's going to resolve and we will get back to our homes, to get back to our normal life. And treat all that as a as an experience as something us some obstacles that like make us stronger. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 7:19 I love what you're saying right there and the optimism and strength in it. At the same time. How do you expect this experience to change you and to change Ukraine when there is peace and victory and everything? Of course? How is Ana now after that experience? And how would she be in the future? And what do you think about Ukrainians back in Ukraine? What could be different about the culture and the people? Because of this? Anna Kontseba 7:52 I think we Well, the first step is when the war started, we all like, just by one click became more patriotic about our country. We felt like really strong. Like unification, like we've got, we felt really united. And that's what was really important. And I think, because a lot of refugees right now in Europe, Ukrainian Ukrainians, when they came, when they come back home, I hope that they are going to bring more European values. And that's going to help us actually rebuild our country, not physically, but like spirit, riddle, redo the spirit of the country, we will have more European values, we see how people live here, compare, and I hope that a lot of people is going to take the best out of European lifestyle and implemented in Ukraine. And that experience this like, all this situation can influence positively on Ukraine if we want. So if we take on the positive sides, if we take this experience with us, and like bring it to Ukraine, and actually start leaving live in more European kind of way that might help us with our European integration, not just economically, but as a society mentally to be more to like acquire that lifestyle. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 9:33 Thank you. And the worry I had is, you know, if the war continues longer, and people start new lives, like you mentioned, you might start studying in Germany, it might be difficult for people to decide to return to Ukraine where they don't know how things will be. Maybe they already started new lives and new futures and new jobs abroad. Do you think People like most Ukrainians, and probably there are millions and millions and maybe more that are going to leave and that I have already left will return to Ukraine or they will continue their lives abroad. And there will be a lot less people in Ukraine rebuilt in it. Anna Kontseba 10:21 Of course, some people are going to stay here, that's for sure. A lot of for a lot of people going back might be not a choice even because there might be no place to go back no people to go back to but for most Ukrainians, I'm pretty sure that we are all really, we all have really big desire to return and to rebuild everything to start doing everything all over again to and I'm think that this spirit is that strong that we actually like all like most of Ukrainians will return and of course, like mostly it's women and children who left and they left their husbands, their brothers, their dads over there in Ukraine. So we are we all really want to go back. It's not I don't think a lot of Ukrainians will like stay here in Europe after the war ends. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 11:23 Thank you. And even more about you? Did you even believe there could be a war like that in Ukraine in 2022? Or what phases or stages did you go through or the denial in the beginning, and then some depression, and then some acceptance and then optimism? Or were you able to escape pretty fast from the warzone and be rather in safety and therefore have a more mixed emotion? Because you've been like watching it through more than being in the middle of it? Or how was it? Anna Kontseba 12:04 Well, first of all, I did not believe in war at all, like I've read Western news media, and everyone's, like, used to say, you Russia is going to invade Ukraine, Russia is going to invade Ukraine. I said, No, that's not going to happen. That's all just like fake news. Not not even fake news. I didn't say that. But like, I didn't really believe in it. And I said that, if that's gonna happen, I'm gonna stay in give, I'm not gonna, like go anywhere. i That's my home, why would I leave. But on 24th, my mom, she called me in 6am. And my parents, and I'm like, My hometown is Minh. And she called me and said, they are bone bananas. Pack yourself that is gonna pick you up. I'm like, what's going on? Like, I just was peacefully sleeping. And then like, this call, it changed everything. We started back in quickly, our staff because we were not prepared at all. And we left like, probably at 12 11:11am, I guess, in on the first day of war, we love to give, we went to mon and they were on the first day Keith was not on the fire. And Oman actually like was there were like, bombed explosions there and rockets and all that stuff. And I was really scared that it's going to be safer to stay in key than to go to Central Ukraine. But on the second day, everything changed. And I was really glad that my parents, like came and picked us up from there. And that we are we're actually like, relatively safe in central Ukraine. We stayed there for 10 days. And then on 10th or 11th day of work, our parents like insisted on me and my sister leaving the country, because it's going to be like, it was going to be easier for them mentally and they just really want it to be to us to be safe and all the stages, acceptance and everything you've mentioned. Yes, I went through all that. And I had, I think two mental breakdowns during this 1010 days, which is really like a lot for me. And but when we actually like, we're on our way from Oman to live and when they when we came to live like my friends, they hosted us and they were really positive. So I think this that was the point when I started to feel more relaxed about it to calm down and to like accept the situation as it is Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 14:59 Thank you, and I can feel your emotions with every word. Now in Munich, I know you said, you are improving your German you have some ability to converse in the language. Do you spend your time mostly with Ukrainian there, or with international people, or with Germans themselves that you made German friends, and those are your contacts and connections in the new country. Anna Kontseba 15:30 Mostly, like, I don't really know, Ukrainians here. But mostly I like, my, my circle, let's say it like that. It's mostly German people. Germans who I knew before this word, and who I met here, who helped me a lot with everything. So mostly, yeah, like, I'm trying to improve my German, but still, we all speak English. It's a good thing. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 15:58 Thank you, what do you see, let's say, unfortunately, or I hope it won't be or anything like that. But the war will continue for much longer, maybe more months, or a year or something like that. Because you never know, some people involved in the politics might be too stubborn. You know, like Putin or anything to stop it, or even his generals, they won't do anything about it. What would you do? Would you stay in Munich? Would you decide to go somewhere else? Maybe the US or Canada? Would you change your educational like track to try something new and feel okay, if life is changing so much? Why not change my goals and become an actress or a painter, or a dancer or a yoga master or something like that? Or you will stay within your same field? But it will be this like a different university? Or would you go? I don't know, to the UK or something where English is the main language? Let me know. I know. It's, you're not at a situation to make such long term plans. But what does your subconscious and instincts tell you, you might do? Anna Kontseba 17:17 Think and I really hope that I'm going to stay here in unit until everything else. And that I won't need to leave this space to live like Munich. Because changes over time. It's not it's yeah, it's still a lot of stress, even though you like even though like I'm trying to stay really positive about that. If the word like, it's not going to end in a few months, then I'm probably going to like find a university somewhere. And that's going to be the thing that can change my plans. If, for example, I find the university who like which is willing to accept me as a student in, let's say, Italy, then I'll probably go to Italy and find something there. But it still depends on my budget, it still depends on my like everything because also I'm staying here with my sister, I should take care of her as well. And even though she's older than me, it's it's complicated. And but I really hope that I won't need to go to Canada, US and other countries. I just want to go back to Ukraine. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 18:38 Wonderful. And I really hope your goals and dreams happen exactly as you wish. I have a guest that I will interview on this podcast. Her name is Alia. And she did something really interesting that might be useful to you. See, she messaged all the universities that she wanted to get into even those who didn't offer Ukrainians, scholarship or sponsorship. So what she did is she applied to the University that she wanted to get into and told them I'm Ukrainian. My situation is messed up. I cannot study or it's very difficult. Can you help me? Do you offer any help to Ukrainians. And even though they didn't have it on their website, some of them they offered her a sponsorship or scholarship to go there. And she's now in Belgium, where she was offered education. Maybe it's worth it to you to apply to some of the universities there in Munich, and see what happens especially early on before more and more people get in and if things change and when things change, and you don't want to you can say oh, I can give my spot to someone else. So at least you're sure that you have a plan B, and C since this podcast is about access tional and special and unique women, I have to ask you, what does it mean for you to be a woman? What is femininity in general? And also what is it to be a Ukrainian woman during war time? So it's two different questions. But related in general, what is femininity to you? Is it an energy? Is it an attitude traits, behaviors, or something else? What is it to be a woman in general? And also during the war? How is femininity impacted and changed by such situation? Anna Kontseba 20:39 Well, in general, being a woman is, as you mentioned, it's about energy. I think so because like, I don't know, the woman who I'm, I know, my friends, like my relatives, they are all they all have their own energy. And, yeah, it's like, I don't really know how to explain it. But I'm glad that I was born a woman. And I think women are just like, like, women, they are really soft and strong. At the same time, they can be very flexible and different. And it's about traits, and everyone is unique that relates to both a woman and man. And yeah, it's it's just the power, I guess, somehow, and the energy that is really strong and soft at the same time. And about being a woman, Ukrainian woman during the war, I think our woman like our women, they are really strong. And they they are exceptional, like all of them. Those who helped with, like different stuff with those who volunteer, those who still working and try to support the economics of Ukraine, the economy of Ukraine, and those who pull left to take care of either their children or themselves doesn't matter. Like all women in Ukraine right now. As well as man, they're strong. And I'm really proud to be Ukrainian. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 22:31 Flavelle Corradini Slava. Okay. You said, You're so glad to be born a woman. What does that mean? Like? Why do say that? Just to explain and understand your thoughts and experience? As well as since we spoke about femininity? What is it to you masculinity? How do you experience it? Is it energy? What is the difference between like, to you? An energetic form? So it's not like, as a person, a woman and demand? How do you experience them? How do you feel them differently? So two things? What Why did you say you're so glad you're born a woman? So I understand your thought and experience, and femininity and masculinity? What is the meaning of that for you? Anna Kontseba 23:24 I can't really explain the thing, why I'm glad to be a woman. Because I've been a woman basically my entire life. And I don't know what it's like to be a man. But I feel like, it's just like, it's a part of my character. It's a part of my life, because I am who I am. And like, I am like, getting my nails done. I like cute dresses. I'm like a girly girl. And I really adore it. It's part of me. And there is no like, really good explanation for that. And about masculinity. And I think it's just completely other like type of energy, like women and men. They have different energetic types, but they're still the same, like because we are all people and in some kinds, like, we are still the same. So in some ways, we are different. And that's what's really cool. That's what makes us who we are. And I don't know for me, man's energy, it's more about more about protection, because I think, like, I don't know, I just compare with my dad, like for me, my dad was always an example of a good man. And he was always protective. And I knew that if I'm with my dad, there is not going to be any problems that we While not figure out. So for me like, women, they're more more about beauty. Like it's really like stereotypical thinking. But it's more about beauty, positive mindset, softness, but at the same time still doesn't mean that they're not strong that they can't be like in any professions or like, can do the same job as men do. But men are those who protect, and especially right now, during all this situation, like, I think that's the main difference, probably. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 25:42 Thank you, and just to understand your own unique experience, and of course, it's yours. So you have 1,000%, the right and the joy to experience being a girly girl and to like, protection in men. Usually protection means that the man is strong to you, what kind of strength in a man is the most masculine or appealing? Or attractive? Is it like physical strength? Is it intelligence? Is it someone who worked hard and has resources to take care of the family? Is it someone just you feel interested by? And fascinated? I don't know. But which I know all are important, but which kind of strength is to you? The essence that to you make the man special? Anna Kontseba 26:33 Well, yes, all of them are important. But probably mental health and intelligence, these two things that I would like, actually really pay close attention to. mental strength means that like, during the hard times, during like, stress, I can rely on him and he's going to support me and it's not going to be a mess. Like, he's has to be stronger mentally than I am. And I think I am strong. But still, like, I need support. Like, that would be great. And also, like intelligence, and of course, like when I mean, intelligence is always attractive. And it's definitely what makes man been, like, not only a man, but really, like good to say that good human being. I don't know. Just like, I think these two things are the keys. And that's probably it. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 27:42 Thank you. And just one final question about femininity. Do you feel more feminine energy within Ukrainian women when you were in Ukraine, compared to the German women in Munich? Or how is it? Is it the same? are German women more feminine, less feminine, like, because culture and places can affect how people express their energy in different ways? So what is your experience currently? Anna Kontseba 28:13 I don't think there is a big difference. Maybe in some cases, but still, it's really hard to compare the whole, like nations. I think it differs from person to person, but still like, it's, it's the business of everyone to express the femininity not to express and I'm okay with, like, basically with everything. I think there is not, they are not as different as as we see it. Let's say it like that. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 28:50 Thank you, Ana. It's a privilege and honor. And I had such a wonderful time speaking with you. And I wish you good luck. I wish Ukraine victory. And I hope soon we all hear some great news and great progress and life can be much better for all Ukrainians and everybody rebuild Ukraine even better and 10 times more progressive and modern and exciting and dynamic than before. Thank you, Ana. Anna Kontseba 29:26 Thank you so much.