E025 Kate Scherbina

Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 0:08 Femininity is powerful in all its forms, exceptional women, rare girls must be appreciated in every way for their perspectives, actions, thoughts and their unique ways of being. Such rare girls are inspiring. And this is what this podcast is all about. Hello, my name is Eva. And my guest today is Kate Scherbina. is the founder of the educational project for youth called "ME & Media," a Girls2Leaders participant, an active volunteer, an Actress of Fall season 2018 - “The Legend of Sleepy Hallow”, and the founder of an English Speaking Club in 2020 in Oleksandriya, Ukraine.. Kate, how are you today? Kate Scherbina 1:22 Hello, my name is Kade. I'm doing absolutely great. How about you Aziz? Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 1:28 I'm feeling lucky and grateful, optimistic. And so curious about you today? Because I want to really explore your personality. So since this podcast is about women, about girls, what does it mean for you to be a woman? And what is femininity? Is it an energy? Is it the behavior? How can you describe that? Kate Scherbina 1:54 Oh, thank you for your question as these first of all, I would say that femininity to me is a mixture of all of behavior of energy. I feel feminine when I, for example, take care of myself when I dress like Lady when I trust to people talk with them when I laugh, play and when I'm spontaneous. And about your first question about womanhood. For some women. Womanhood is about strength. And for other, it's about tenderness for me, as a person, I like the mixture of everything. I like the mixture of this, both definitions. And I, for example, womanhood, for me might be pushing myself in school, or like in my career, helping others to lift up, lift them up. And also for me, it can be like, wearing cute dresses, heels and stuff. And that's what it is for me. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 3:11 Thank you. I love your answer. It's very, very interesting. And therefore to contrast femininity with masculinity. How would you describe masculinity? How do you feel about it? How does it make you feel? What's attractive about it for you? Kate Scherbina 3:33 Well, about masculinity, in men or in women, in men and men. Well, masculinity, it's a word for like a body. But for me, it's all about like actions. I feel this trends in men and woman in both when they're talking to me with their actions when actions coming along with the words was something what they do. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 4:07 Thank you. So does that mean for you? You're not so interested or emotionally impacted by things like poetry, like art, which are emotional and not all about action? Kate Scherbina 4:21 Oh, no, no. I'm absolutely in love with art with poetry. I am myself writing poems in four languages in the Ukrainian, Russian, English and German. Yeah, I'm a translator. And I'm in love with art. I'm a poet myself and also an artist myself. So as I said, I like mixture of of everything but to create an art you need to take an action first. Correct. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 4:55 I love this. And as a poet, I'm very curious. As about your process for inspiration and for creativity. So how do the verses come to you? Do you follow some specific rules? You try around different words in order to find something that fits? Or is it some kind of trends or divine inspiration or something where words combined into your mind and flow onto the page or the screen? How is it? What inspires you? And how are those verses that didn't exist before? Come to reality through you? Kate Scherbina 5:36 Oh, well, an interesting question again, thanks. So I find my inspiration, like in music and the nature and my surrounding, in people in the literature. And when I write a poem, yeah, I like to try different words. And then when I like, repeat myself to myself, this poem, I hear which one fits the best, but sometimes, it's just like, I wake up, I have this kind of inspiration after the meditation after the yoga and I have this verses like, I don't know, where they where they came from, maybe from a dream, maybe from my consciousness, but they just pull up, pop up in my head, and I'm just like, creating something beautiful. It's, I don't know, it may be a talent given me from God and nature from the birth, what do you think? Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 6:40 I think I want to understand how this is similar to full contact karate. Is it when you're in the mode? No, really? Is it that when you're having the fight of your life with the perfect technique, and everything, it's something that God or nature is doing through you? And you're almost watching greatness? Or is it not like that at all? Kate Scherbina 7:08 Well, talking about my sport career in sports and portrayal, yeah, it's a, an interesting mixture. And I would say that, my kind of sport and my achievement requires hard work, repeated hard work displaying, and they set off rules performed one by one step by step. And it's something different from the poetry and poetry you're free. You're free to explore the world, your mind to literature, and in sport, you have to be controlled by somebody, when somebody tells you to do something. And yeah, you can do some freestyle, but still you have rules there. And in poetry and art, you are free. You're, you can expose yourself and every way you want to do that. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 8:07 Thank you, it seems to me that freedom is very important to you. And if I understood you correctly, freedom is to be yourself to say what you believe and think and to do what matches your energy, your truth, your reality, is this correct? Yeah, it is. Then how is it that discipline, which sometimes means you have to do things that you hate to get the result that you want at the end? How do you deal with that, because some people feel that discipline is a kind of prison. Oh, Kate Scherbina 8:45 some people do actually feel that but not me, because I am a achieved an achiever. I like to set goals in front of me and achieve them. And then when I, I achieved certain goal, I set another one, and I'm heading through this path to achieve the other one. And I think that discipline is important. And it's interesting. Like when you are going through some hedges, when you're dealing with some interesting situations, which are on appear to be on your way to your goal. You're like, how to say it, you're opening yours yourself to the world and you're showing all of your sites that you have and you're dealing with this problems and you finally managed to pass everything through and the pleasant moment, that pleasant moment when you achieve the goal is everything I'd say Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 9:55 thank you. I was gonna ask you whether you set goals based On process like, I will write two poems every day for like one month or whatever? Or do you set outcome goals that often we cannot control? But it seems to me, and please correct me if this is wrong, and I will explain my understanding that for you, goal setting and achieving goals is not about the goals themselves, although they are important. It's about expressing stretching, discovering different parts of who you are. So you're learning about yourself through these experiences outside of your comfort zone. Is this correct? Kate Scherbina 10:39 Yeah, it's absolutely correct. And I'd say I would add to your answer to your question to your answer. Yeah. That it's more about the past, it's more about my way to the goal. This is what is interesting, all this hedges, all this. Interesting people you need, and we need to communicate all this thinking processes. That is what is interesting. And that is what is making you actually happy. And you are exposing yourself through these things. And the moment of achieving the goal. It's like, I mean, five minutes of happiness. And then you're like, Well, what am I going to do now? And yeah, and talking about your question about goal setting, know about the poetry, I wouldn't say that I would set the goal like two poems each month, because I could not force myself to create something beautiful for seeing and creating something beautiful. It's like a different things. It's more more about creating something beautiful. It's more about something spontaneous and something romantic, I guess. And about another type of goal setting like, Okay, I need to make my profit next month's higher than this one to get something that that likes my phone, I guess, or just buy my mom a gift. So I'll do that. I'll work harder. I'll work two hours more, or I would find a person who can do this and that for me. So yeah, this is a little bit different. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 12:36 Thank you, it seems to me to that you're someone who feels emotions deeply. Who you sends people and their energy, and it enter twines and intermixes with your energy, and gives you a charge and passion and an infusion of inspiration. Is this correct? Kate Scherbina 12:58 Yeah, you're absolutely correct. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 13:01 Then I will ask you about two things. One, a lot of the Ukrainian girls say two things about themselves, but maybe you're different. One is that they have a bitch face. So especially when they went to the US. Yes, people will tell them why are you so angry all the time? And she'll be like, I'm happy. I don't know what you're talking about. Okay, so about this first, can you speak about this? Kate Scherbina 13:28 Oh, course I can speak about this. Yeah, we have this kind of stereotype about beautiful girls in Ukraine when they're like sitting in the cafe with their laptop on and they're like, if I'm describing myself right now. They're like typing something on their computer and like all concentrated in their work. And then somebody calls and you're like talking like blah, blah, blah with serious space and somebody is observing you from the side and like, telling somebody next to him like, oh, whoa, she's probably such a bitch. I guess she's so flossy. She's so I don't know how to say bougie I guess. And then when it comes to the park, when we get to know each other closer, and process of working or in process of communicating, and some at some party, I guess, or it's some kind of event and they like, Whoa, you're so nice. I wouldn't say that from the first look. Like you just need to talk to people to understand that they're nice and they're just do not be afraid to communicate with them. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 14:42 Thank you. And what is your love language? Is it time? Is it words is it gifts? Is it like touch? And also how do you deal with that because you feel emotion so deeply. Some Ukrainian girls will say I need to find like a guy romantically that he touches me. So I feel his energy. I feel closer and that we he is my person, while others say we grew up in families without much hugs or kisses, so that feels too intimate, too personal, and therefore, they cannot handle it. It's uncomfortable. What's your perspective on this? Kate Scherbina 15:25 Oh, well, I've studied five languages thing for years. I'm actually so deep into psychology. And I've read several books about it. So I, I for sure know, what are my love love languages? There is two of them on top. Of course, they speak all five of them, but two of them are on top. And I can explain from words coming. First one is gifts, I'd say. And second one is, um, let me think I forgot. It's it's taught it's so words. And yeah, yeah, first one gifts, then words, then touches then help. It's coming from my childhood, because it's like everywhere, like in every family. You would observe a child how he's raised. My family raised me by like giving me the world giving me everything like they gave me. They spoke with me in all five languages. Since I was a kid. It was gifts. I wanted the dress, they gave me the dress, I wanted love patience with me. They gave me love and patience. They hugged me touched me. So I can speak all five languages of love. And I have no problem with that. But I think that in every case, it's coming from the early childhood of a person, what do you think? Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 17:05 I think a part of it is genetics and apart is early childhood, because me personally, for example, I grew up where my personality was different from everybody, whether those who raised me or around. And then there was no specific reason for it, except that I was born this way. I guess it worked like that. Therefore, I'm becoming someone who believes more and more, there are some people who are genetically born to be different, so that they add some variety to the culture or to the place or whatever it is. And so I will ask even more about you. Because you spoke about gifts about people's actions and all that. Have you ever felt whether with friends or with guys, that instant chemistry where you feel you know, this person for a long, long time you feel instantly close? And open and vulnerable and trusting and confident and electric and passion and all that? Or do you always need time and multiple meetings with anybody to open up to observe their behaviors, their gestures, and all that, and it never happens? That instant chemistry? Kate Scherbina 18:26 Well, thank you for your question. First of all, I'd say that first variant of situation happening in my life, like, I feel all this fire and all of this connection from the first sight it was when I was younger. When I was like 15, from 15 till 18, I guess, then when I was growing up and helping my father to conduct his business and talking to a lot of people's people and people's Yes. To partners, and I've observed a lot of different people behavior, I'd say that I need some time and some couple of meetings to deeply get into the person's vibe and person's understanding of the any type of their relationship, whether it's friendship, whether it's something like business connection, whether it's romantic relationship, I still need to like examine the person not the examine. Yeah, I need to find out the another synonym to this world, but just to explore. Yeah, explore the person before I get somebody close to me. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 19:51 Thank you. And if you were to describe your personality, or let's say your friends, we'll talk about Kate and they will disc riper to someone. What would they say about you? And does it match how you feel inside about who you truly are? Kate Scherbina 20:10 Oh, thanks. If my friends would, if my close friends, let's say that would describe me to a stranger, they would say that I'm energetic that I'm funny that I'm bright person. For example, they would say she walks into the room and the room was full of like, full of energy and full of love. That is who she is, or to somebody, they would describe me Oh, she is like a business woman or something like that. She's so serious. And she's so demanding to her colleagues and to her co workers. They would not be mistaken in both cases, because that's who I am is just depends. Who sees me in like different spheres, like how they see me in different spheres, and they would not be wrong. It matches to my personalities matches to all of the situation I've described. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 21:21 I love this so much. But also we have to speak about the situation in Ukraine, the war, the whole negative and horrible situation to you. How was that first day of war? How did you feel? Where were you and how did you deal with it? And how did this whole situation change you as a person? Kate Scherbina 21:46 Thank you for your question. Well, we're all living in war in Ukraine and horrible war was terrorist country, Russia. And when it happened to the first day of the war, it was February 24. I was heading from Alexandria to Kyiv by train. I woke up by like, I woke up and saw a lot of calls, missed calls on my phone. I was heading to give to get a new position in my company to start working for that position. I was so excited. I was going to see a lot of my friends. We had a meeting that day, and in a few days, I had a birthday so I had a major plants. So my feelings were horrible. And the moment I woke up and I found find out that the war started I see so I go go to the people in the train and I start ask them what's happening and they are running to the exit with their suitcases. Luggage is and they're jumping off the moving train. The train is rolling currently. And they they there's they just jump off. And when I came to Kyiv I heard missiles explosions, I saw crowd running through the main streets, the Metro, the subway was free to use and I managed to get home to pack my stuff, pack my documents and move to the safer place. But first days of war I wasn't key if I was horrified first few hours and after I was just calm. After the first siren, I just pulled myself together and started to think what am I going to do now? Where is the closest volunteer organization I sign up for volunteering. I was volunteering. I was helping people. We had a lot of people here in Alexandria when I came to Alexandria. We hosted a lot of refugees from Harkey from Mariupol. Here we helped a lot of people and then after I pulled myself together completely, I realized that I need to start working more again. I need to start living my own life. I need to start caring about my mental health and physical health. So I just became stronger I guess I survived in key of the first day even Kyiv and I just managed to right now I managed to find beautiful things in small details and enjoy every day that is given me by God Because I did not know if tomorrow will be happening to me, Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 25:06 I guess. Thank you, Kate. This was absolutely touching. And therefore nowadays, can you share what you're working on? Share? How does yoga and meditation, which is what you mentioned, help you deal and improve and take care of your mental health? And are there any projects that you're working on that maybe some people can get involved with? Kate Scherbina 25:34 Well, firstly, any willing to spring project that people see, they can get involved in, just start doing something help, like action is the language of love, I guess, to the world. And volunteering is helping me a lot going through this painful days of war in Ukraine, because it's devastating. It's, it's damaging in every, every way I guess, for mental health or physical health. So I maintain my mental and physical health by yoga by meditation, I sing a lot. I like singing, I sing songs, I read literature, I listen to the music, which is which is calm, which is like, really classic music, I guess I would say, I'm deeply into my work. I work as a translator. And I work as a tracking manager and dispatcher and logistic company. So I'm pretty busy. I found myself within work, I found myself in sports. Also its gym. And, of course, I found myself in family meetings, which are so important nowadays. hugs, kisses with my loved ones with my grandma with my grandpa with my mother. And the those are things that I enjoy a lot. And, of course, something sweet. If I want to eat something sweet, I would eat it, for sure. Because I don't know if I would have a chance to eat it tomorrow. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 27:34 Thank you, I understand exactly what you mean. I'm happy you're getting better mentally rather than better. Because it's a very, very hard situation. Thank you, Kate. This was my privilege, my honor. A wonderful conversation. And I wish you a great day. Kate Scherbina 27:56 Thank you so much for having me here. Aziz, you are an amazing person. And thank you for this really great project and this opportunity for me to speak with you to have this nice conversation and I wish you all the best. I wish you great success and have a great mood always and thank you so much again and have a great rest of your day.