E030 Alina Zabihailo

Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 0:00 femininity is powerful in all its forms, exceptional women, rare girls must be appreciated in every way for their perspectives, actions, thoughts, and their unique ways of being. Such rare girls are inspiring. And this is what this podcast is all about. Hello, my name is Aziz and my guest today is Alina Zabihailo. Alina is from Kyiv, Ukraine. She finished her school last year with the highest marks and took a gap year to apply and study in the United States. She was accepted at six colleges, and chosen to study at Alfred University this fall in New York State. Alina loves singing and playing tennis. She is a curious person who loves to learn and try new things. Lena, how are you today? Alina Zabihailo 1:01 Thank you, I'm fine. And you? Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 1:04 I'm feeling blessed, optimistic, lucky and very curious about you. And I will begin with a question which is both deep and interesting. At the same time, have you always felt that you are different from other people growing up around you or not? Alina Zabihailo 1:24 I don't know, it's really hard to identify whether you're like different because every person is different. I genuinely believe so. And it's just you explore yourself more with yours. That's why I think when you're getting older, you can actually can see yourself being different from your peers. So I'm not like, I don't think I'm like huge in comparison with every other personality. I'm just different as everyone, just different. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 1:59 Thank you, and to you. What really inspires you. I mean, we all need, especially during hard times to feel recharged connected with something to feel inspired. Do you have some things or a place or a way that truly gives you that feeling of inspiration? Alina Zabihailo 2:22 I think it's around people about people around me because I really love talking to people and communicate in any way possible. And I think my goals and when I achieve something, I really can see that I can do that. So I can do something else and try different directions and something new and new hobbies, for example. So it really inspires me. And yeah, I think that's it. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 2:51 Thank you, I'm trying new questions with you, because you seem to have a wide range of interests and ability to handle them well. And therefore, imagine if in this world, you can have any job or profession or activity and you will get a high amount of money like a million euros per month to do it. So the pay is not the criteria, what would be the job or the thing you'll choose to do forever. So it's not something you do temporarily. But it will be anything that you could dedicate your whole life to no matter without thinking about the pain that it will result in. Alina Zabihailo 3:34 I think I'm really into like business, or some type of jobs like that, because you are self employed. So you can do everything you want to. And you can direct your team to do stuff you're interested in. So it's not like usual office like a nine to five jobs. So I think that's what I'm passionate about. And I want to do that in my life in the future. Maybe at some point I will do like something connected with music, for example is really, really like inspirational. But when it comes to money, it's really hard, I guess because it's really unstable type of job. But I want to be at some point like musician at least mediocre because I sing. I've been singing for my whole life. But I'm pretty like average at music theory and like production. I want to know more about it for sure. Maybe at some point, if I've had like two lives, this like this path will be one of my lives. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 4:40 Thank you. And you mentioned the ability to do whatever you want. If you are a business person to direct your team. Is that something that you find in music or in singing or in something like that, or is it a totally different experience? Alina Zabihailo 5:01 It's really same and different, I would say, because you can do whatever you want to do with your life and every my heart, every hobby I have, I can do these things because I just can decide, whichever whatever I want to do. And I want to have the same type of thing in the future when I'm just growing older. And I find it really important. And I've been always like, independent in stuff I want to do. So I think if I need to spend my time spend all my time and dedicate myself to something, it would be something independent, which I can, at some point change. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 5:45 Thank you. So if I understood correctly, freedom is very important for you and not feeling trapped and anything so that you can change at any time. Is this correct? Alina Zabihailo 5:58 Definitely. I love learning new things. And sometimes I just don't feel like it. So I'm just learning like psychology from once and I feel it's not my thing that I will change it. So I think I'm pretty flexible at that. I think it can be advantage as well as disadvantage, but I find it exciting. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 6:21 I love that at the same time we live in a world that is rewarding more specialization, people who spend 30 years doing the same thing are more rewarded than people who learn about everything. Although there are studies that people who learn about everything become more creative, because they get diverse ideas. How do you deal with that, for example, in studying that, you have to sit down and do the same thing again and again. And again, as you prepare for exams, etc. How do you not get bored. Alina Zabihailo 7:00 I mean, I play tennis, and we need to do a lot of same movements. Because we just like muscle memory, we need to train that all the time. So I kind of got used to that. As well as at school, it was just my thing. Like, I can just sit and study and then I will have fun. Just do whatever I want to do again. So it's kind of usual thing for me. So it's not something you need, I don't need to prepare for that. I just sit down, I do my work. And then I will just have fun. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 7:32 Thank you. And since you mentioned being a business person, but also about music, about fun. Are you emotional? And I don't mean like Soap Opera Drama Queen, but that you feel emotions strongly that new emotions are a driver in your life? Or are you more logical and you control your emotions? Alina Zabihailo 7:57 Definitely emotional. I love traveling. I love seeing new experiences and meeting new people I find it really, really exciting. And emotions is my drive, I guess. Because why not? We have only one life. And if we can get all of these happy emotions. Why not? Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 8:17 Thank you. And since this podcast is about women and about girls, what is to you the meaning of being a woman or being feminine? Is it an energy? Is it a behavior? Well, how would you describe it in a way that is personal for you? Alina Zabihailo 8:39 I think for me, it's about energy. And you can just represent women in every area in every field you do. And it's huge. We can make differences. any age, any gender, any person basically can make a whole new like difference new projects to actually influence our world. So for me, I think it's more about this. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 9:06 Thank you. And then what's the meaning of masculinity for you? How do you experience it? How does it feel when you're around masculinity and men? Alina Zabihailo 9:21 I think like it's really hard to understand, like masculinity and femininity of what is included in these terms. So for me, it's more about like streets of character vary. You need to sometimes you need to be kind of strict. Sometimes you are kind of funny and just chill because you're chilling out. So it's really it really depends on a situation sometimes you just need to be really prepared really focused on something but I can't really say is it like feminine part of me or masculine part of me, like, first thing that comes to mind is support because like tennis is pretty huge. You need to be really competitive, and maybe it's a part of my masculinity in me, but at the same time, like women are also competitive, really competitive and women's sports, men's athletes, there are a lot of them. So, again, it's really hard to identify. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 10:14 Thank you. And have you ever had the experience of instant chemistry with a person where you felt like you know them all your life? Or do you need time and to open up slowly and observe people, before you share emotions, and notice any chemistry? Alina Zabihailo 10:36 I think it's more about like friendship. For me, I have a lot of friends. And basically my main thing, like, my main relationships are family and friends. And I think on the one time I had like this feeling that I really need to meet this person, I need to introduce myself and like, just to understand, like, maybe we could be like, huge close friends. So it was like, once I think with my classmate, but every time I really need some time, again, because after some time, when you are friends with someone, a lot of things are happening, and you're experiencing you things together. So it changes you changes you a lot, and friends are influenced each other so badly. So I think really depends on the situation. But mostly, I need a lot of time to kind of be emotionally attached to a person. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 11:32 Thank you. And so do you have like a bitch face that where you don't show emotions and people think you're angry or not so nice. But when they get to know you they think you're friendly or unkind? Or are you always smiling and being positive? Alina Zabihailo 11:50 I mean, I'm human. I'm not always smiling, for sure. But I think I'm pretty friendly. Because I love people around me, I'm pretty open to new acquaintances to new friends, to new activities and events in my life. That's why I think I'm pretty friendly. But when you get to see me more, I'm like, open open to new things. I'm so so excited. I'm so like, even more like funnier and like extremely, extremely friendly, and like really want to do the best for you. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 12:24 Thank you. That's really, really interesting. And so, even more about yourself, when you are singing? How do you experience that? Are you there focusing on the technique trying to perfected? Are you full of the words and the emotions and almost in trends are in an enchanted world? Or what do you like about music? And how do you experiencing when you're thinking something you really, really like? Alina Zabihailo 12:56 So many processes question. But music for me is my life I have been saying for again, like 11 to 12 years. And before that, I think when it all just started, I was really focused on technique what I need to do on stage my moves, what do I need to do? What can I forget, while singing. After time, I think it became more emotionally like I really want to bring this idea to the audience. And it's really important for me to understand to feel what I'm feeling right now staying on the stage and singing. And before performance. I yeah, I think a lot about like technique, what I can forget again, but on the stage is it's like the state of flow, you just like go in with it, you you did a lot for that for that performance. You studied a lot like you learned a new song you had a lot of practice. But on the stage you're just like opening yourself up and just trying to communicate to the audience. So for me, it's about this about this flow. And like about a year two years ago, I started writing my own music so for me it's even important even more important to actually get this idea across to understand what my song is about. So I'm really like, trying to understand the lyrics why like this author wrote this song like this. And I'm trying to get myself better at writing songs and basically communicating what I have to say Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 14:31 thing Thank you. Do you experience flow and other ways in your life? Or is music the main driver and main gateway to you having that feeling? Alina Zabihailo 14:45 I think music is one of the main like flow states for me, I think cuz it's just really creative. A lot of stuff I do is more about like, logical, technical exciting. For example, you just you You can't be like in a state of flow, you should, you should be always focused on staying you need to be in the moment. But definitely like, it happens with tennis a lot as well, because you just like continuing doing, like, repeating yourself shot after shot. So sometimes you're just like, Okay, right now I'm in the moment, but I'm somewhere in my head, not on the court. So it's really strange. But I do have feelings like that. Not all the time. But it's just really, really interesting. And I know in at that precise moment that I'm doing everything right. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 15:37 Now, thank you, you mentioned creativity and create something creative many, many times, what does it mean for you creativity? And how would you explain it in your own words, and that, how is that part of your life? Alina Zabihailo 15:59 For me, it's about putting yourself out there and just, again, communicate yourself with people around you in a creative way. So I used to draw, I used to dance, I used to be part of a theater, I say, a lot of a lot of things, because go has been going on. And I'm really enjoying it because you can get your idea across in so many ways. And it's so interesting to explore. And not like the best split painter or whatever, like in the world. But it's just interesting to me, I can still like, draw something. And if I feel like it, if I have a certain idea, and I can't just can't translate it through singing, or like through words, I can just draw and stuff like that maybe sometimes it's in the form of dancing. It's really something personal, which you can put in some sort of information, not words. It's just like, this creative way of putting yourself out there. Something like this. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 17:04 Thank you. And a lot of people are afraid of putting themselves out there. How do you have the bravery to do that, and why it's not in your social life where you need time before you really, really open up to people, while you're bravely sharing yourself in singing, although you said yourself your musical theory, abilities are not so perfect. And therefore you open yourself to criticism. So how, what belief allows you to be so open and brave, and share yourself in thinking and why it's not exactly the same in your social activities with new people? Or is it did I misunderstand? Alina Zabihailo 17:57 So basically, for me with friends, I'm pretty open again to make friends. So I think it's kind of the same as I'm going on the stage. Like, for example, I met this woman in on the train and we started talking and I started like, talking about education in the USA, maybe they like her kids are interested in that. And right now I'm just coming in, I got like this call from a girl. And I realized that it's like her daughter, and she is interested in education in the USA. So we're talking a lot about it, she has a lot of questions. And I'm really happy to help. So I think it's, I'm pretty open. But when it comes to like personal connection, friends, or any type of relationships, it's not the same like as putting yourself out there as like, being friends, because you are sharing your darkest secrets and stuff like that. But when it comes to my life, my experiences, I'm really happy to share everything I know to help someone in the future, about studying about singing about my whole journey as a person. So I just find it really important. So for me, it's kind of like the same things. But putting yourself out there with friends is just a whole different story. That's why I need a lot of time to get emotionally attached. And people around me are not that open sometimes. So when you're friends with someone, they need time as well to be open to you. So I find it really important. If you're open you need to get this openness from someone as well. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 19:33 Thank you, and why are people important for you? What do they give you in your life? Are they the primary source of emotion? Are they the primary source of learning? Or what would be missing in your life if suddenly people disappeared? Alina Zabihailo 19:54 Everything will be missing for sure. We are social animals really? And as for me, I'm really like extrovert at like at maximum. I really love talking to people. And it's my main source of inspiration, my main source of good experiences, because sometimes you just need to listen to someone and not make the same mistake, not just like learning from your own experiences, you can just avoid these mistakes by just talking to people and listening carefully to them to what they have to say. So people it's is really, really important. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 20:33 Thank you, and you're very active, you study hard, you're going to the US to be alone and all that. How would you go about making new friends with in the US when people are so open? And in general, what did you use to do or you plan to do to avoid burnout from overworking and being involved in so many things. Alina Zabihailo 21:02 I'm really excited about this experience, I have never have anything like that I have never studied in the university because I took a gap year. And I think I will not have a burnout. I think it's kind of like a positive, really positive, optimistic way of thinking. But I will be playing tennis as a part of a tennis team. So I think it's going to be my like type of medic, like meditation after school after like academic part of university. I also I'm also planning on like studying, singing and like being part of performances from university. So I think I hope that I'm not going to be burnout. So my main formula is just be around people who are willing to listen to you. And I am really close to my family and my friends in Ukraine. So I think it's going to be my main source of energy as well. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 22:02 Thank you. And speaking about the war in Ukraine, how was your experience on that very first day of war? How did you feel? What did you do? Tell me the story? Alina Zabihailo 22:17 Yeah, it was terrifying. And just terrifying. Because I had to, like, hear this first. Huge, like, explosion near cave. And I was like standing in my room and just shaking violently. Because I have never, like, I didn't have any idea it can actually happen. And it's just unbelievable, until you see it with your own eyes. So we moved to like, western part of Ukraine. And since then, I am pretty much like I'm in cave. And I'm happy about that. And it's so strange that people are just like, doing the usual things here right now, even though war is like, have never stopped, what is going on. And it's really serious. But seeing all these people around the right a lot of people here like, huge amount of people. Since then, I've been to worship as well. It was an interesting experience, because I had to get my visa and we don't have US Embassy open right now in cave. So worship is so friendly. And you get to see a lot of Ukrainians and Ukrainian flags everywhere, like everywhere. And polish is really, really close to Ukrainian language. Like it sounds really, really similar. And it was I didn't really understand like word words, Ukrainians were like, Polish people. That's it was really strange. But it was kind of a relief for me because they were so supportive, every one of them. And yes, still terrifying to understand that he's going on still going on. And we kind of like got used to that, as scary as it sounds is just crazy still. So I'm trying like to be in the moment. And like, remember, like, try to find this balance between, we have a war and between the idea that I get to live my life right now. I am really grateful for that. And I just like having fun and doing things that are important to you. So I kind of I think everybody should find this balance between these two things. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 24:30 Thank you. And tell me more about this situation where so many millions of Ukrainians are outside and you too, you're going to the United States. Do you believe that people would start new lives and different countries and therefore they have their school, their work, their family settled and therefore, when the war is over, or anything like that, they will not be so willing to return and rebuild Ukraine? Or do you think that when there is victory and people are so excited, everybody will run back home? Alina Zabihailo 25:11 I genuinely believe that a lot of people will be like, trying to create new life abroad because I have people like this in my life. So some of my friends are not really going to return anytime soon, because they don't have any like, things that that connect them to Keef at the moment, except for home. For sure. Like, in my case, like cave is really, really important, because it's just your home city. But some people, for example, they don't have university is just online, it any like online anyway, is so they kind of want to start something new abroad, and maybe like no one knows, of, like, maybe they will not return. But I think like majority of people will return and rebuild because Ukraine is so important to us all. And we have this like spirit. And I love it so much about Ukraine, in Ukrainians, we are really strong nation, and we are willing to rebuild what we have, and to create something new and cool, because especially teenagers, I can, I think say something about us because I just live among the peers like me. A lot of us like a lot of teenagers are excited, and we are doing absolute best to do everything we can possibly do, to rebuild Ukraine to get something new to create something new, to somehow raise awareness to everything's going on. So I think the majority will absolutely help and even people who are abroad, that's totally fine. Really, because sometimes you like just can't you don't have place to return or have people like that. And it's so terrifying to think about. And I think they will remember for sure about Ukraine, and again, do everything possible abroad to kind of raise awareness about Ukraine. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 27:16 Thank you. And there are some sociologists and psychologists who said people who are now in Ukraine are probably totally traumatized, they're much more depressed, and therefore, they will not be happy again, in this generation, maybe you need the next generation in order to see people happier, and that there is a deep trauma inside every Ukrainian. Do you feel this is correct, or because of time people are beginning to heal that trauma and returning to be more normal or even motivated and positive about recreating the country and winning the war Alina Zabihailo 28:01 is totally devastating. It's totally traumatizing for everybody. I feel that for sure. But I think like this is the excellence of our like brain because we tend to forget stuff, we tend to have new emotions we tend to forget, and it's it's scary, is at the same time as like a really cool thing. Because if we like remember everything all the time, we wouldn't be able to live our lives. So it's kind of like really strange, I would say but I do believe that time heals. So people are kind of kind of returning to their normal, like, semi normal life for now. I can see that around and I can see that on my personal experience because like first month was absolutely terrifying. You couldn't do anything like anything, you couldn't live your life and you weren't like really traumatized by everything and your emotions were kind of you didn't want to feel any heavy emotions. But now it's kind of like you need to do something, you need to do something you need to help any way possible. So I think time will help everybody, hopefully, really. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 29:23 Thank you so much Alina. This was my privilege, my honor. It truly invigorating conversation. And I wish you a good day. I wish you success in the United States and Slava Ukraini. Alina Zabihailo 29:42 Heriyan Slava. Thank you so much. Again, it was a pleasure talking to you and hopefully it will be at some point useful or entertaining to listen to. So have a nice evening.