E036 Kateryna Mykhailova

Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 0:00 your femininity is powerful in all its forms, exceptional women, rare girls must be appreciated in every way for their perspectives, actions, thoughts, and their unique ways of being such rare girls are inspiring. And this is what this podcast is all about. Hello, my name is Aziz and my guest today is Katerina Mihaylova. Catherine is a flex alumna of 2017, a previous flex city representative of Keanu, and she graduated from the Faculty of international relations, as well as being one of the best model UN delegates. Hello, Catherine, how are you today? Kateryna Mykhailova 0:59 I'm good, thanks, hope you're doing well, too. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 1:03 I'm doing nicely. I'm feeling optimistic and glad to be alive. And to ask a bit more about you as a person. If your friends are the people who know you would describe your personality, who you are, what would they say? Oh, well, that's Kateryna Mykhailova 1:21 kind of difficult, but I guess they will say that I'm very straightforward. As well as open like very, in terms of motions, and I don't hide. I hate like lying to people and stuff. So I'd say that they can also describe me as like friendly. Ventura's say yes. So, maybe something else? We'll have to ask them after. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 1:54 Thank you. And you mentioned that you're a direct kind of person, why is that important for you? And if you had to be indirect or not say exactly what you think and feel, what is bad for you about that? Kateryna Mykhailova 2:11 Well, I'm the kind of person who always wears my heart on the sleeve. So it's very hard for me to hide my emotions to hide how I feel about people. So that's why I prefer like direct approach to whether like, say openly, whether like the person whether or not because I would say it's very important to be sincere. And I don't want to waste my time and energy on pretending. Because it's just, our life is too short. So why don't we enjoy the fullest and don't hide behind masks and stuff. So just feel like being open is extremely important. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 2:52 Thank you. And that makes me curious, when you are in the US being directed cetera? Didn't people feel you're hurting their feelings? Or how did you deal with that? Oh, well, Kateryna Mykhailova 3:04 there is this line. Yeah, being open and being very rude. But my exchange year has taught me a lot about being diplomatic and acceptance. So I would always think, before I would make any consequent, like, results, consequences, or some things I want to like present to people or whether I want to save them. So it taught me a lot to not judge the book by the covers. So I prefer to get to know a person first and then make some decisions, or say something to them. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 3:46 Thank you. That's really, really interesting. And it seems to me that you're someone who's constantly around people, etc. Do you feel you're more of a logical person and you're not much affected by emotions? Or are you highly emotional, but you're hiding deep inside, Kateryna Mykhailova 4:08 I am extremely emotional, and I am an empath, which makes it sometimes very hard to be around people and control my emotions. But I think the older you get, you will learn it, that you sometimes have to be a little logical, because being emotional, not always can get you to the place you want to be. So that's why I'm still learning how to be like calm and how to like think, not being very impulsive. So that's what aging kind of teaches me. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 4:43 Thank you. And it's interesting. You mentioned you're an empath. There are people who cannot understand that what is it for you? Do you feel the energy of people or is it that your body feels the same emotions they feel or How would you describe it to someone who might not have such developed sense of emotional compassion, Kateryna Mykhailova 5:08 I would say it's both something good and something bad at the same time, because I can guess from just the tone of what the person is saying, or is recording like the message and something, whether he's happy or not, and especially this person is very close to me, I just, I can distance myself from his or her emotions, it makes it sometimes very hard. But at the same time, I think it's the trade that makes me a good friend, that I can always relate to the struggles and problems of some people. But at the same time, it's very difficult when someone's emotions are overshadowing your own. And I just have to, like, grow a thicker skin, I guess, at some point in order like to finally learn how to distance from other people's emotions. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 6:02 Thank you. And you spoke about the negative side of it, I will ask about when you were, for example of laxity representative, and you need to deal with people to motivate them to create events and make them happy. What was your secret of leadership? How did empathy contribute as well as someone who doesn't have that empathy? What's your advice for them to lead a group to be motivating and inspiring and do projects that others want to be involved with? Kateryna Mykhailova 6:36 Thank you for the question. It's very interesting one. Actually, I think I was very lucky because I had the most supportive people around me and my best friend, she was the senior representative a year before me. So we would always like work together in her year. And she would always support me and your mind city representative here. And I feel extremely grateful for the flex alumna community for their support openness, so that I know like whenever I texted some people like, Hey, I do need your help with something they would always respond. And they would always come and help me out, which was, I don't know, it was life saving in some situations. And that's why having this community with like people, you know, you have gone through so much with it's extremely helpful. And I feel like, without this community, it would have been, I don't know, 1000 times harder. But luckily, I haven't had a lot of difficult moments. During my year, it was kind of challenging, because it was the year when pandemic started. And it was, like, nearly impossible to gather everyone. But luckily, there were online events. So this was like the way to organize something in zoom. So I would say just surround yourself with people you trust, and people you know, that aren't going to betray you. And this is gonna be the key because what kind of leader you will be without support. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 8:24 So I love that. And you mentioned surrounding yourself with people you trust as well as your friend, who was the city representative from the year before? Well, how do you as an empath develop friendships? Is it the energy of people and when you feel that their energy just gives you that balls and electricity and chemistry together? Then no matter their personality, you will become friends? Or are you someone who's more closed off at first observant and trying to understand their values, their character before you open yourself up? And choose those friends? Which kind are you? Kateryna Mykhailova 9:08 Thank you for the question. Well, I think I'm more of a second person who usually keeps like keeps my energy inside for some time. I'd like to look at people to see what kind of like personality they have. And whether we match whether our energies match and whether we have same values because it's really important for me like to match on certain levels with people and then proceed further to friendships. So with my best friend who was the city representative, prior to my year, we had a lot in common and we had we were matching on like each level our hobbies were matching our values were matching, and it was like I have got a soulmate. And I think this was very good. I'm hopeful in the future, because we've worked together, we've collaborated on a lot of projects. So Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 10:06 yeah, thank you. And there's something I'm very curious about, you have been to the US, for example, and you notice how people can be open and friendly from the very first second, while it tends to be in Ukraine and Ukrainians that they are closed off at first until they know the person before opening up? Why do you think that happens? Where does it come from? And are you so sensitive that if you trust the wrong person, and they say something you don't like you get deeply hurt? So you close yourself? Or is it something you observed growing up and teachers and parents and so you emulated it? Or? I'm really curious, where does it come from that culturally, people can behave in such totally different ways? And they both seem to be okay with it? Well, actually, Kateryna Mykhailova 10:59 like first part is a very good question. And I used to ask it a lot to my parents and grandparents. And the first time I asked it, I've heard the weirdest explanation to this question. But the older I get, the more like, the deeper I get into history, the more the more sense it makes for me. I think Ukrainians, as well as a lot of countries who used to be a part of USSR are very reserved at first, because they don't know who to trust. And it always makes me think of this period in the history in the beginning of 20th century where a lot of people would like mail each other or would sell off the people like so who is supporting who is not supporting the like a Red Army, the communists. And that's why a lot of people are in a trust, like didn't used to trust each other. And they wouldn't be very mean at first unless they know the person fully. And that's why my grandparents had a very hard time making friends because they didn't know how to trust. And that's why I think a lot of people are surprised that the modern generation is more open minded compared to the previous generations who likes who still lived in Soviet Union. So and I guess that's why we still have this pattern from our grandparents to be very cautious about what we say to who we say that. And guess this is one of the traumas that every Ukrainian has inside, but they are still kind of coping with working. Yeah. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 12:51 Thank you. Yes. On my other podcast, I interview the Ukrainian called Natasha, and it was called the post Soviet trauma. I understand what you're talking about. And to know even more about your situation, and what happened on February 24. How did you hear that news? What were you doing? How you did discover the war? How did you feel? And how did these months change your mindset or personality? Kateryna Mykhailova 13:29 I guess the word happened, like started for me in 2014 2014 When I saw the military uniform in my house for the first time, and we had curfew in my hometown. It's in the east. Melly Tablelands, a parrhesia region. It wasn't occupied in 2014. But we still felt like we saw the war because it was pretty close. And I remember on I guess it was Easter. I remember a lot of cars, a lot of tanks were being transported by the streets of my hometown. And this is where when I realized that it's a legit war. And for the eight years prior to the 24th of February, I have been very anxious and fearful that it might hit my city. And even I couldn't imagine mo topple being occupied occupied well, and on the 24th of February, I was woken up by a call of like relative of mine, he said that you have to pack immediately. You have to leave give because it is going to be borrowed pretty heavily. And I call my parents immediately because my house is very close to the military object and millet helpful, and I couldn't reach them for the like, first three, five times. And then my mom finally picked up the phone and she was like, yeah, it started, we were being bombed, we are in the shelter now. And this was definitely the day that I have never felt more vulnerable than like, onto the 24th of February. And when at night, I saw the videos of Russian troops entering the city. It was the time I realized that it isn't like it's real. It's not like something that was far away. It is happening in my hometown, and a lot of my relatives have to escape. And I have to do something, but I was in the village, glad you lights and your butter young Kamakura Bucha, it's in this triangle. And I have heard the altar artillery, I heard the new fighters flying. And it was definitely the most traumatizing experience. But I think, also, it's an experience, it has taught me that everything is possible. And you have to just get on board and be very accepting of the events and learn how to deal with them. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 16:31 I feel your pain and to understand because this is such a traumatic experience, even when there is hopefully soon the victory of Ukraine etc. Do you feel like some experts say there will be a trauma within the Ukraine society that you need for a next generation or two before people can find themselves more emotionally balanced, less traumatized? Or do you think that if there is victory, people will recover and heal easily and things will be better? So do you feel that this would will mark the spirits and the hearts of every Ukrainian in a negative way? For a long, long time? Kateryna Mykhailova 17:20 Thank you for this question. I've actually been thinking about it for an ANOVA last night for a month. And I guess, when our territories are liberated when we finally celebrate the victory, I think this is going to be definitely the starting point for a lot of Ukrainians to start recovering from trauma. But this is not easy process. And compared to the traumas of our grandparents of our great grandparents, who were sent to concentration camps, and who were starved during colander more, and I see how this dramas are still not being healed in my grandparents in my parents, and I think it might take longer for me to recover from it. Because I've seen the horrors of war. But I guess this is we have to look at this not as a bad experience. We have to look at this as a lesson that we have to always rely on ourselves. This is this victory is for our land, and we should never give it away easily. We should fight for what's ours. And I guess maybe in three, four generations, when we will have live on air liberated territories in the free democratic Ukraine. I guess that's when those generations will feel free from trauma from bad experience from those negative patterns that we have now. So yes, that's, that might be Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 19:19 Thank you. And to ask you then even more, because millions of Ukrainians are abroad. They have started a new life, maybe new University in New Job a new career. And yes, they love Ukraine, but they probably think back home. It's unknown, maybe their homes they don't know if they're still there or destroyed. The economy is in bad shape. Do you believe that when there is victory, they will return? Or they will stay outside of Ukraine because they will have a new stable life rather than returned? Something that they don't really know what will happen. What's your perspective? Kateryna Mykhailova 20:05 Well, that's interesting. From my personal experience, there are a lot of people I know who are just waiting to come back, who have started different startup projects online. And they are very, they're not like a post to the country, they're staying now. But they feel extremely homesick. And they just can't wait to pack their things and come back. But I definitely understand the people who who left and they don't feel it's safe to come back. And they don't think that in 20 years, everything will change. It surely their decision. And they totally respect that. And I see where they're coming from with this. But I guess it doesn't, doesn't make them less of Ukrainians, because they left not because they wanted to because they were made to leave. And I think in the future, my generation is the one that feels the most homesick about Ukraine. And I guess that my generation will come back, or the majority. And we'll work with the economy with all the political situation, because war is terrible. It has made a lot of people suffer. But it's also another push. It's also another fresh start for a lot of projects for a lot of activities. And I guess that modern generations are here to aim the cogs and fix kind of the Mad consequences. So we just have to wait for the victory. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 21:57 Thank you so much. And I remember you're doing some things within the flex community to try to support Ukraine within this war, et cetera. Can you speak a bit about that, Kateryna Mykhailova 22:11 we have definitely been close with the community. Because there were a lot of projects that unite us. So we started channeling our negative emotions into something good. So we try to contact American Counsel's Office and try to do our best to draw their attention to dangers, the horrors of war that are happening. We wanted to strip or oceans of their alumni title, we wanted to draw attention that remain proposed and like propaganda channel is being created and operated by another alarm. And I would have believed this union. And it has definitely helped us mentally because we started focusing on other things when we were putting our effort into researching into making the scripts, recording videos, making the official statements. And I think this kind of effort has definitely helped us all together as we were working, we changed our like focus. And I guess it showed that we, as Ukrainian alumnae together are very close. And it's a great team that we all make. So definitely a good way to distract ourselves. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 23:53 Yes, especially in these hard times. It's important to find a way to not be constantly in fear, pain, depression and anxiety. For you. Did this war and situation change your mindset, where you appreciate every moment even more, where you do things with family or things that were important to you, but before you delegated them to some day, etc? Tell me about you as a person, how did they change you to be through this difficult experience? Kateryna Mykhailova 24:34 And it's actually interesting. I stopped planning, I ditched my notebook with all of the like blends they had like I had every month scheduled everything hour by hour, but I ditched it because it didn't make sense. And I started living in the moment, just I wake up and I do it. What I feel like doing, I started walking more spending time with my friends for four, because I always thought that well and we're gonna meet at the weekend, it's gonna be fine. But when you realize that the weekend may not happen, you start appreciating and cherishing a lot of things. And I started cherishing my family even more, because living through those difficult times is terrible. And I felt like when they had to flee the home, our hometown, I think my support was definitely something that kept them going, that encourage them not to change their mind again. And I guess another thing that I've learned is to be accepting to February thing, so whatever happens to you, you just deal with it because otherwise, like, you might not have the chance to enjoy those emotions over again. So, definitely a good time to like slow down, enjoy every second. meet those people I care about and learn something more about myself. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 26:16 Thank you so much, Catherine. This was my privilege, my honor, such an enriching conversation, and all I can say is Slava, okra uni, slow. Thank you and have a good day. Kateryna Mykhailova 26:33 Thanks, you too.