E059 Anastasiia Didenko

Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 0:08 femininity is powerful in all its forms exceptional women, rare girls must be appreciated in every way for their perspectives, actions, thoughts, and their unique ways of being such rare girls are inspiring. And this is what this podcast is all about. Hello, my name is Aziz and my guest today is Anastasia de Danko. Anastasia is a flex alumna of 2022. In Ohio, and a student of finance with the minor economics at Walsh University. Her hobbies include reading, learning languages were currently she's studying Mandarin, German, and Latin. Anastasia graduated both from an American and the Ukrainian high school she helped raise over $25,000 to help Ukraine. And she has multiple had multiple interviews with newspapers and news channels. Anastasia, how are you today? Anastasiia Didenko 1:20 Hi, I'm doing great, how are you? Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 1:22 I'm feeling lucky to be alive. I'm happy to be in the summertime. And I'm really curious about you. So I'll begin with a simple question, which is, if your friends were to say things about you that describe your personality, what would they say? Anastasiia Didenko 1:45 I think that they would say that I am very outgoing, kind and always there to help or support in any way. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 1:58 Thank you, I have so much to ask. But I will say what it is for me about helping and supporting people. There were situations in my life where I felt, or the world is not a good place, there are no good people. And then I thought actually, to be a good person to help others is to prove to myself and to others as well that there is hope in this world that there are good people and therefore it's an affirmation that goodness exists in this world. What is your motivator for being kind and helpful? Anastasiia Didenko 2:34 I think that my parents are, yes. And I think that I am the way that I am because of their example. You need to treat others how you want to be treated. So if you treat people with kindness, then you will get the same in return. And you always get a start with yourself. So that's kind of how I feel. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 3:01 Actually, yes, it's the golden rule. But I'll challenge that. Because expecting things from people opens you in many ways to unrealistic expectations and disappointments. But for me, it's about me being the kind of person where if I look at myself in the mirror, I'm like, I'm proud to be myself rather than thinking, you know, someone will treat me back because humans are crazy. Cannot. Anastasiia Didenko 3:30 I totally agree with you. Yeah, Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 3:32 I have so many other questions. First, you said your parents are your role model. You have the experience of being in the US? Well, it's somewhat of a stereotype but also true that Ukrainian girls have a bitch face where they look angry all the time. Even when they're happy. Did you have such a bitch face? Did you notice it? When you went to the US that people were like, oh my god, Who's this girl? She's like, a vampire or something? Why is she so angry? Tell me your thoughts. Anastasiia Didenko 4:07 No, no, I've never had anything like that. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 4:12 So you're always smiling. You're always like with good vibes? Anastasiia Didenko 4:16 Pretty much. Yeah, I wouldn't say that. I'm always smiling. I'm smiling when I feel like that. But yeah. I'm pretty good with that. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 4:28 Yes. And well to you. Because I remember one time I was interviewing a Ukrainian girl and she said, Well, why should I be happy unless there is a reason to be happy? Yeah, I only smile when there is a reason on me. Anastasiia Didenko 4:44 Yeah, I'm not just smiling all the time. So I guess. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 4:50 So you're an outgoing person. I noticed in your Instagram you had the book, Lolita by Nabokov. Is it one of your favorites? Is it something, a book that fascinates you because of the emotions etc? Anastasiia Didenko 5:05 Well, that's, that's not my favorite book. But it is definitely an interesting book because, you know, it puts you through emotions. And really, for like, a couple of times, I was just like, No, I can keep creating it. You know, it's interesting to read it and how author is describing all of that? Yeah, it's definitely not my favorite book. But it's, it's a really good work. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 5:39 Do you love new emotions? Is that description, something that fills you with emotions in a way that you think? Yes, emotions is what life is all about. I want to feel them all. To experience them all. To have all the adventures and feel alive. Anastasiia Didenko 5:56 Yeah, kinda, I would say I, I like to try new things, and different situations and see how I will react and go through that. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 6:07 So it's more about self discovery. Anastasiia Didenko 6:10 Yeah, for sure. self discovery. But Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 6:13 why is it important for you to notice how you react in different situations, et cetera? Like, what does it add? I know I can guess, but to you specifically. Anastasiia Didenko 6:25 So I can work on myself more. Yeah. So I can keep working on myself. And in some situations when I'm under pressure, or stressed or just different things, so I can keep calm and take it easy and make right decisions. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 6:49 I don't know, I'm sensing that it's important for you to protect yourself to feel safe. In such emotional situations, is this correct, because there is another perspective or philosophy which is Carpathian let's flow with the emotions, whatever will come will not kill me or make me stronger. So rather than being prepared, Let life surprise me, it seems to me that it's important for you to be prepared to be ready to be protected. Is this correct? Anastasiia Didenko 7:19 I Yep. I like to be prepared. I like to plan ahead, and I like to be confident, and everything was going to happen, Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 7:32 but one that make life more boring and less full of adventures anymore. Anastasiia Didenko 7:38 No, that's not true. I still get my adventures and emotion emotions. I still get all of that. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 7:47 Yes. And do you believe or feel that you're a highly feminine? Woman? I'm not speaking about feminism. It's about the female energy? Anastasiia Didenko 7:58 That's an interesting question. I don't know. I feel good. In my body, I feel good with myself. I don't think that I'm highly feminine. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 8:08 How would you define to you the female energy? What does it mean for you? How can it be expressed? How can it be noticed? Anastasiia Didenko 8:17 Oh, I don't know much about all of it. But all of the experiences or stories that I heard about feminine energy, they weren't really good. And positive? Yeah, but it's probably about being caring, and light, and everything. But I think that, that a woman can be whoever she wants to be, and still have this feminine energy. And it doesn't mean that you have to, I don't know, wear skirts, or do things that like, only women are supposed to do to have this feminine energy because right now, it's kind of a question, you know, when guys like, paint their nails, or just do some makeup like eyeliner, I'm saying I and they say that they have like feminine energy. And they mean it in a bad way. And, you know, I think that people can be whoever they want to be. That's what I think I understand. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 9:31 And would you describe yourself as someone who's more logical, since you love to make plans? Or can you be present in the moment trusting in the emotions and just flowing? Like survey surfing over the waves of life? Anastasiia Didenko 9:46 I'm both Yeah, like 5050. I would say, I'm trying to act more logical, but sometimes, you know, you just gotta let it go and enjoy Isn't that how you said? Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 10:01 Yes. And you're trying to be logical? Why? Is it a question again of protection and feeling safe when you have an understanding of all the parameters of a situation so that you can absolutely ensure you are like everything is okay without any variance, or why is this need for more logic? Anastasiia Didenko 10:25 Yeah, I agree with what you said. And it just makes me feel better when, when I'm sure. And I know what what is about to happen. And it is about feeling safe, I would say, and to have a plan B, if something goes wrong. It is about that, I would say, Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 10:48 why is it important for you to feel safe, because usually people who over focus somehow on it, they have been hurt in the past? Or they when they let go, if they had like some negative emotions that happened later, or consequences, so they need to protect themselves so that it doesn't repeat again. Is this your situation that did happen like this? Anastasiia Didenko 11:13 No, no, I didn't. Thankfully, I didn't have any negative experiences or anything. It's just, I like to be in control of what's going on. And, yeah, pretty much in every field of my life. So it is about it. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 11:33 Do you feel better when you're in control in every field day of your life? Anastasiia Didenko 11:39 I do. Yeah. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 11:41 But isn't it also more stressful? Because of all the responsibilities all that energy of needing to be in control? Anastasiia Didenko 11:49 Well, I would say that I'm pretty responsible and capable of taking care of that. Yeah, that's all good. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 11:57 I understand and what inspires you Anastasiia Didenko 12:02 thinking about my future, and about abilities, about possibilities that will be open to me? If I go and do something that like, I need to do or learn a new skill or do something to improve myself? And yeah, this is what inspires me the most. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 12:25 Tell me more. Are there some specific opportunities or visions that you have for your future that excite you? Anastasiia Didenko 12:33 I have some certain plans that I'm keeping to myself right now. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 12:37 Thank you. And since you have are your r&d less you have left Ukraine, you had already year there in Ohio? How was making new friends for you? How did you choose your friends? Did you have that instant chemistry with people where you feel oh, my God, I feel I know this person since forever? Or is it something that you open up to people over time and you're closed that first I need to observe, Anastasiia Didenko 13:06 I can say that I'm definitely being careful with who I am around, because you are taking some things from those people. So I am choosing my surrounding everything was good with me. I'm finding friends, because I feel like I can have a conversation with pretty much any person. And I'm trying not to make it awkward. Yeah, I had friends and we're still friends. And it's been pretty good. And pretty easy. Actually, for me. I just found people with similar views, and not really even similar interests. Maybe it was like, like you said, chemistry, but it works out pretty well. And I'm really happy that I have these people in my life now. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 14:00 Thank you. And are you more fascinated by those people who have passion and their eyes that you see their eyes glitter with that energy, etc? Or you're not so in tune with people's energy and those details and tell me your thoughts about this? Anastasiia Didenko 14:19 I definitely prefer people who are motivated and have goals in their life. And people. Yeah. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 14:29 And tell me about February 24. How did you hear about the war in Ukraine? How did you feel? How was that whole story? Anastasiia Didenko 14:40 The whole story. So it was February 23. For me, I was just getting ready to go to bed. And I was just scrolling through my phone, just some news. And I started getting news about explosions being heard in different parts of Ukraine? And I'm like, No, I don't believe it. It's not true. But then I started texting people from those areas, but no one was really texting me back. So I'm like, okay, then it's definitely not true. But then there was more and more explosions. And people started waking up. And I started calling my parents and they weren't picking up. It was like, four 5am for them. So of course, everyone, everyone was asleep. But my dad picks it up. And I'm like, Oh, my God, like, have you heard it? Can you hear anything? What's going on? Like, I'm worried. And he's like, everything is okay. We're sleeping, nothing is going on. When we go to bed. Everything is fine. And then 2030 minutes later, everyone, everyone was up, everyone heard everything. My mom and my dad and my friends, and it will, it was just horrible. I didn't know what to do. I said that, like, I'm packing my things. And I'm going home as soon as I can. It was just very intense. And I've never expected anything like this to happen. And yeah, the next time I called them, I heard those explosions, myself. And I was very scared. I was very scared and to not see them again to not choose them. And I didn't know what's going to happen next. I didn't know if they will be able to call me. It was just so confusing. And so I had so many emotions, like I couldn't sleep for the next three days, I didn't sleep at all. I didn't want to eat. I didn't want to do anything. But it was very hard. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 16:52 I agree. 100%. I was actually there in Kyiv when the war started, and it was a whole horrible, horrible situation. How did it change you these months with the occupation with the war in Ukraine, etc? Did it make you want to appreciate every moment more tell me about raising the funds for Ukraine, tell me everything about how you changed as a person? Anastasiia Didenko 17:22 Yeah. So as I told you, the first three days, like, I was just in my head, thinking about everything. I was not here. I didn't want to sleep, I didn't want to eat. And I didn't go to school that Thursday. But then on Friday, I had to go to school, and I was just sitting there, like, I don't know what to do. I don't want to do anything. And then I just like, I understood that I have power in my hands right now. I can go and talk about it. I am here, I can help it. Because I felt helpless. I felt just like I can do anything. But yeah, on February 25, I went to my principal. And I just talked to her about everything. And then I just talked to our students about what's going on, because there was so many false information about what is going on. And I just made it clear and just explained everything from, from my perspective, and from perspective of how everything actually is. And then we started a fundraiser on Monday, and a lot of news companies, news channels, they contacted my school. And on that Monday I had, I think I had to introduce that day. And then it just kind of started, I took any opportunity to talk about it to Doug about what's going on. And I raised more and more funds. i Yeah, as I said, I was just taking any opportunity to talk about it. newspapers, radio, I had like nine radio interviews. That was crazy. But it was like February and like till this probably like middle of March. And then people kind of started forgetting about everything what's going on. And it really didn't feel nice, but I still kept talking about it and spreading the word on my social media and just in every way possible. And if any people had any questions or anything I you know, I was always open to talk about it. My dad, he's in the army and yeah, he's in the army pretty much from the first week of, of war and then his battalion, they didn't have anything. They didn't have really good equipment or anything. So I made a fundraiser and got some things for them. I made first aid kits, and I couldn't find any good ones. So I made them complected everything myself and sent it home and I'm about to send another package to help. And yeah, it definitely, definitely made me more more responsible and independent. And it definitely made me more appreciative, you know, because the feeling of a possibility of losing your friends or your family just any moment. It's it is scary. And I'm trying to call them like when I have free time all the time. And just to spend more time with them because I know that I'm, I can't really go home anytime soon, which makes me really upset but I know what I'm doing this for. Because yeah, it definitely made me stronger. It definitely made me more mature. I would say. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 21:19 I understand and I really hope your father will be safe. I hope, peace for Ukraine and all I can say is Slava Ukraini Anastasiia Didenko 21:29 Heroyam Slava. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 21:31 Thank you, Anastasia. This was my privilege, my honor. Such a wonderful conversation and please take care and good luck going to university. Anastasiia Didenko 21:43 Thank you so much. This was an interesting experience. And yeah, I was happy to talk