Episode Transcript
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 0:00
The femininity is powerful in all its forms exceptional women, rare girls must be appreciated in every way for their perspectives, actions, thoughts, and their unique ways of being such rare girls are inspiring. And this is what this podcast is all about. Hello, my name is Aziz and my guest today is Olga, para Senko. Olga is a psychologist and her job is to help people find themselves so that they can implement themselves and build the life they have always dreamed of having. She is also studying Medical psychology in the National Medical University and give Ukraine so she will become a doctor Olga enjoys sports and horse riding. She loves painting and sculpting. But she quit sculpting a long time ago because now she devotes all her free time to consulting her clients and developing her projects. Olga, how are you today?
Olga Tarasenko 1:22
Hello, thank you for inviting, I'm fine.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 1:26
I'm happy. I'm honored. I'm excited. And I'm very curious about you, especially since you're you're a psychologist, you probably psycho analyze yourself. How do you describe your personality? Or at least if your friends could describe who you are? What would they say?
Olga Tarasenko 1:46
Well, actually about self analysis, it says such a correct thing because psychologists did all the time. And I am doing this all the time. And actually it helps leaving. So talking about myself as a personality, I would say that I quite understand myself. And I guess it's a great opportunity to understand different people and other people. And actually, I enjoy it really much. That's my way to live, I guess.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 2:21
Thank you. And since you have consulting clients, I don't know if they're from Ukraine or from all over the world. But these days, what seems to be the biggest challenge or problem that people come to you for because they need help?
Olga Tarasenko 2:38
Well, I'm consulting clients from Ukraine, because for psychologists, the recessed speciality, we have to include them mentality of the people to our work. And as I am Ukrainian, it's important for me to be a good psychologist for Ukrainians. So the greatest guess, problem the hugest problem of Ukrainian girls, for now, except the anxiety, because of the war. There is some issues with self esteem. But issues with self esteem is a huge problem not only for Ukrainian girls, but for girls around the world. Because not everyone from their beginning of their life have been have had that understanding of what powerful are they, what they mean to this world, what they can do what they can they can do, and they can not understand that they are they have meaning. This is the most this is a really huge problem, which are working with. And I'm I'm not sure that I even ever had a client without that problem.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 4:05
Thank you. And do you feel especially for Ukrainian girls, that it's social media that reduces their self esteem? Or is it the war specifically and how a lot of their plans are lost? Or what do you say is the main reason that there is such low self esteem,
Olga Tarasenko 4:26
I didn't say they have low self esteem, I said they have issues with that, because actually, all of us are important to this world, not because they are some like of geniuses who are they do some things now? They are important to this world because they exist and with this understanding. There are a lot of fishes and a lot of problems in the standing then because all I know I've got a new F Free client they had did not understand they have meaning to this world, just because they existed just because they were bored. And it produces some kind of anxiety, some problems with understanding themselves. And now when the worst started, all this, like symptoms increased. So now there is like, meaningful things to understand that they really matter. Anyway, they matter a would say like this.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 5:35
Thank you. And you said that you understand the mentality of Ukrainians, for Ukrainian women and Ukrainian younger girls, etc. What is the mentality of someone a girl from Ukraine? How would you describe it compared to other girls from Europe or from America or from Asia?
Olga Tarasenko 5:59
Yep. Now, in Tallinn, it's a capital of Estonia. So I think I can compare with girls here. It's European girls who know what they want. And about Ukrainian girls, we are much likely to disrespect ourselves. We can like, I don't know how to explain it correctly, because my English is not that perfect is Ukrainian. But there are some issues about time, we can spend our time with no actual reason we can, like agree for something we don't want. And then we will suffer because of this. Because we did what we did not want and actually makes a problem too far a good self esteem. But girls from Europe, they are understanding what the price of their time what the price of themselves, and they want to agree for things they don't want. They will I would say they would understand which is fine for them, and which is their issues. I mean, issues about respecting the selves, or respecting what they want. And they have the ability they have understanding from the childhood, who they are. So they like maybe I said a lot of things now. But the main thing is they respect themselves much more than Ukrainian girls. And that's a really huge issue about the mentality of Ukrainians, because not everyone. Now, even if they're not child anymore, they will listen to themselves. Not everyone will do this, because we are likely to believe others we would likely to make comfortable others, not ourselves. And that's really important thing.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 8:20
I agree. And I understand. So I'm curious about you. How did your fascination with psychology begin? When was the moment where you decided yes, I will study it. I will devote my time and effort today's
Olga Tarasenko 8:38
Well, it all started in my graduates actually was Miss cool. Because now I try to realize where was it? When was it? Because it was a long time ago. But I didn't find out that I want to help people or something. No. The main reason I came to psychology studies is that I felt feelings I couldn't understand. I felt something I couldn't understand. And I had to find out what was that? Now I understand that was the first love. But then I couldn't control it. I couldn't understand what's happening. And that was the reason I started to find some ways to understand myself. And then I understood the research such great thing as psychology, and then I would likely to start it. Then I started to learn it because in the Medical University, because I am sure that a good psychologist is the one who understand not only what's happening in our head, but in our body, because it's all connected always. And it fascinates me a lot because psychology is Science about the people, what they want, how they leave, and they and how they want to live. And it can help them to live a life which they want.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 10:10
Yes, it's very, very important. And therefore I asked, Do you feel that Ukrainian girls and people their value your services do is they see it as a good thing to go and hire and use the services of a psychologist, or there is some stigma or a bit of shyness about it?
Olga Tarasenko 10:33
Well, how people find a psychologist, they don't go to us, because they just want to discover something is wrong. People go to psychologist when they have problem, when person understands I have a problem, and they cannot fix it by myself. I cannot figure out what's going on. But life and leave is irresistible. And they have to do something, then they go to a specific specialist, I guess and know how to pronounce it correctly. And they ask for help. Because they understand they need help. And talking about shyness or something. There is no such shyness when you have a problem and you need to resolve it. But talking about like connection with the client, people have to open to a psychologist because it's the thing they work with. They work with the personality with the state of mind. Yes. And not everyone is ready to open themselves from the beginning. But there are some and the times is needed to make this connection and to start a real work.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 11:52
Yes, that's really, really important. And you mentioned the facts of the war. How was February 24? For you? How did you hear about the invasion? Did you believe it or not, at first, tell me the story of that day?
Olga Tarasenko 12:08
Well, for me, it started not 24th It started before, I mean 2014. But after 2014, I leave with understanding that something's going on, but it's far away from me. And then I remember that day, it was the 21st of February. I came from Austria, I was skiing with my father and we had sensitive talk about what's going on. Because there was time before we left even to skin. We had some news, which made us believe that something will happen. And the night before the 24th of February, I had some feelings, I don't know how to explain them. It was maybe my like, women intuition or some kind of intuition because I had a feeling that something will happen. And I even remember, I saw some film about words just to relax myself. Like I see that it's okay. But I remember that I get went to sleep. And the morning started with World words of my mom that wake up. The war has started. And then I understood that. Yep, it happened. And then we just waiting. We will have been waiting here for some time. But then we just back to cloud. This took to a no train. Yeah, it was trained. And we left to Estonia, Tallinn my father leaves here. And for a time it's thought for me. But even if I'm here in Tallinn, I still feel it. I still understand that it's going on something bad. And I have still a huge feelings about that. But now I'm better than it was 24th
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 14:18
Thank you. Yes, I'm happy you're better. And all I can say is love our grainy.
Olga Tarasenko 14:23
Thank you for your appreciation for Ukraine. Hello. I'm Slava and thank you.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 14:31
Thank you too. And I know that you use social media and your blog to help people. Many complain that actually social media is bad. It distracts people, it wastes their time so they don't value themselves and show them people who are photoshopped and two beautiful that don't exist in reality living in Monaco and Dubai every day and then everybody feels Bad and depressed? Do you agree with that? Do you feel social media is more positive than negative? Because people can help each other? Or is it really changing the mentality of humanity in a bad way?
Olga Tarasenko 15:15
First things first, I would say there is some issues about saying everyone, because I work in some way of psychotherapy cause cognitive processing therapy. And there is like a little bit issue of our psychology, how it works in our heads. We say everyone, but it means actually, someone we're talking about, are we talking about ourselves, and we want to feel like we're not alone. Or we just you verbalize everything. And it is okay for our brain in how it works. But talking about us, personally, now, I would say that there are some things like personal boundaries. And it's not only about people with people, it's about things we can contact with. It's about what we have to understand about us, and what we hoped, what we want to understand from others, what we want to take from others. I mean, that people who look in social media, and say, like, Oh, he's so great, and I'm not talking about only the person is saying that, because if I see them, just picture, and people have to understand that what they perceive does not make them in such a way they perceive the information. If they perceive a beautiful picture, it doesn't mean they're not beautiful, it only means the picture is beautiful. What they hear, it tells it tells about only that people who say the words mean them. But it doesn't mean that people who listen to this words are the same, what they say what they are heard, and doesn't mean actually anything. Because words and things people do are only about themselves. And people shouldn't perceive the information like the information about only them.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 17:45
Thank you. That's really, really wise. And there are some experts that say this war weather from 2014, but even stronger now, and February 24th, will leave a lot of trauma inside every Ukrainian where this generation and even the next one will be more traumatized have more negativity, and you need more generations for people to become okay. Do you agree with that? Or do you feel when there is victory for Ukraine that people will celebrate, they will be happier and heal faster from the pain?
Olga Tarasenko 18:28
Thank you for this question. It's an excellent question. Because talking about war traumas, psychological traumas, it's PTSD. It's some sort of like, I would explain it to make you understand correct how it happens. It happens like people have stress, they cannot adapt to the stress. But they have to believe it in some way, and had decided to make something to advertise people. But our head cannot do anything. It's not all power. It doesn't have all power, the rules the universe or something. And sometimes people can not make a good rotation. That help it is the start. But statistically, PTSD will have only about 10% of the Ukrainians that have ever lived the war, because symptoms of PTSD are really variable. And most people which will have them in heaven now will over leave them and about half, maybe a year, they will be fine. But people who need help with PTSD, they will have I'm not medical, but Secretary peace stick help. And with time, they will be okay too. But talking about state of mind of Ukrainians, I guess the word change did a lot. And I know maybe you heard even about this, like the war started. And people said that, why would we do some things? Why don't we do some things now instead of in the years, because when your word you understand that tomorrow may not come, and we started started to do things. We used to procrastinate or saying that I will do like, then one day I will do it. And for this, it's really, really changeable thing. But talking about our kids who will be traumatized. It depends. It depends on how it goes in. It depends how will it be going, and if to take to talk only about this work? I don't think it will affect the children. But of course, our stories, our memory will influence them. It's 100%. But doesn't mean it will traumatize them. But talking about victory, which we are all waiting, it doesn't mean that we will start to be happy nation or something I guess who's not? Because it's about people what they are victories. Just thing that is happening. And people us people are celebrating need in a moment. And they they go to their business, they stay the same. I don't think that will true will change something.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 21:57
Thank you so much. Oh, God, this was such an important episode. Thank you for your wisdom for your knowledge for sharing this. And again, I wish for Ukraine victory, peace and forever Ukrainian success.
Olga Tarasenko 22:15
Thank you very much. Thank you very much for supporting Ukraine and for inviting me to this podcast actually, to be honest. It's my first podcast. And I'm really honored to have parties to participating in such a great podcast and it was such a great opening or I know Hi calls in podcast but I would say like in my real life, the greats the great partner of talking. Yes. Thank you for good questions. It was really interesting for me to answer them and to share some things. I hope people will be interested in them and it will help them. Thank you.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 23:06
Thank you, too.
