E088 Moni Miller

Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 0:00 The femininity is powerful in all its forms, exceptional women, rare girls must be appreciated in every way for their perspectives, actions, thoughts, and their unique ways of being. Such rare girls are inspiring. And this is what this podcast is all about. Hello, my name is Aziz and my guest today is Mani Miller. Mani was born in Iran. And she is now studying interior architecture at Istanbul, couture University. Mani is vice president of the International Students club, Istanbul, couture University. Her hobbies include playing pool, as well as traveling where she visited various countries, including Malaysia. Mani, how are you today? Moni Miller 1:06 I'm good. Thank you for having me here. It's a pleasure to be part of your podcast. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 1:12 It's my privilege. It's my honor. And I'm very curious about you. So I'll ask you this. If your friends were to describe your personality, how would they describe you? Moni Miller 1:27 It's funny, because with each different friends I have, they have a way to describe me. So mostly, they would say like, you know, I am a bit crazy. And but at the same time, I know when to get serious, they would say that I will kind of supportive, but also like, at the same time, I would know when to push them and when not to push them. So I tried to be a good friend. And I hope I am a good friend. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 2:04 Thank you. So you sound like a fun impasse. And let's speak about your crazy side because it's more fun. To understand you're more what is the most interesting thing for you about being somehow or in some way crazy? Is it the new emotions, the unexpectedness the excitement? Or is it the freedom that you can do whatever you want without limits? Or is it like more of showmanship, that you put a smile on people's faces. And that's fascinating for you like, what drives and makes it such a pleasure to show your crazy side, Moni Miller 2:49 the way you describe it, I guess it's a combination of all of that. And, you know, being crazy, it's just like, like, as you said, like, not limiting yourself and just being the, like the version that you truly are. Because I feel like nowadays, everything is just so restricted with the social norms and how you have to act, how you have to be in a certain way. But being crazy, it basically means you're not normal. And you're like exploring that side of yourself, where you're not just like, wanting to be what everyone else expects you to be. So that's what I would say crazy. It's not like always like this, you know, things that you see in the movies, or like these people like being psychopaths and stuff. No, it's not like that. Just being the part that it's not normal in the society, just being yourself, Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 3:45 if I understood you correctly, and it sounds fascinating that society and other people and social norms can put you in a box of expectations where you're not doing what you want, but somehow you might feel the need to appease or to be validated by other people, and therefore you'll become just average and a copy of everyone else. But if you're being yourself, you're truly unique, which means you'll be different to those expectations. Who and when you people might call that being crazy, but in reality, it's being authentic. Did I understand correctly? Moni Miller 4:26 Exactly, exactly. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 4:28 Thank you. And do you feel because we spoke about this, that a lot of people there is the social norms and by definition, it means it's the majority of people. Do you tend to also like to be around people who are more crazy, or do you like more introverted people who balances you out somehow, in some way? Moni Miller 4:54 I mean, as I said, like being crazy is just being themselves so Um, I personally, aside from introverts and extroverts, like this desert kind of characteristics that are part of themselves, because you can find the introvert that really are really interesting. And you can strike up a conversation with them like about like, philosophy, belief, system, religion and stuff like that. And then there are extroverts that, you know, that can be kind of like, not in tune with your morality or something like that. So, it really depends on the person I don't like to characterize people based on, you know, if they're shy, or if they're, you no more of an introvert or extrovert, like, it depends on the person. But what kind of people I would surround myself in, is that these people that have kind of principles, yes, it is good to like, limit yourself and put yourself out of your boundary and like, explore your spontaneity and stuff. But to a limit, like, you know, nowadays, everyone's just like out, you know, clubbing and like, doing drugs, drinking or not, and literally, they they stand for nothing. Yeah, okay, it's fine or stuff, but I just don't stand with that lifestyle, because I feel like at that, at some point, there was step back and realize they missed up their whole life, not achieving anything, or not looking forward to anything. So these people that have beliefs, especially with religious people, I can say, they know that there is a purpose in this life, so they can stand for it, they work for it. But people will literally don't believe in anything or anything at all. I just don't find myself like, getting attracted to or find myself, like sitting with these people. Because I feel like, we have nothing in common because I need some people that like, give give me more reason to find a purpose in this life. You know, Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 6:55 thank you. You mentioned so many things. And I have so many questions, but I'll begin with this. You spoke about purpose and mentioned that two times to you? What does it mean, when you have purpose in life? Do you feel that people are born searching for that purpose? So it's not clear? Is it individual where each person has their life purpose? Is it something bigger that everyone has the same purpose, but they come to it in different ways? Or what's your perspective on this topic? Moni Miller 7:31 Okay, that's a good question. Purpose itself, as we all came to this one, universe, one world. So what does this mean? It means that everyone's purpose doesn't necessarily rely on themselves. There is a bigger picture, as I see that this hue, whole human race is, like, all connected together, as we can see, like through science, through philosophy, everything that we've read, we know that everything kind of relates to each other, from the weather, to the water, we drink, everything, everything, everything kind of recycles with each other. So with humans as well, like, when I say purpose, when I say people are in this, like to see their life, and why are they here in the first place. It's not just for themselves, we need a humanity that combines that we need a place in this life where we are all united. Let's look at it like this. Like there is a quote and Quran it says that if you save one, human one life, it's like as if you save the whole human lives, like the whole humanity. Why it says like this is because we know about the butterfly effect, right? We know that if you make a fake as small as, like, putting something next or like putting a stone in a wreck report, whenever Reverend, it will ripple and it will create a wave like 1000 miles away. It's like this in humanity as well. Like you save one person's life, or you be kind to one person, that one person will remember that and give it to someone else. And this this, you know, energy, kind of like ripples. And, you know, you can create peace with that, like I this whole thing that's happening in Iran right now. It all started from everyone realizing that we need, like freedom, we need empowerment with each other. So they stood up they created like it started with one person and it kind of create this whole chaos. So this is what I mean by purpose. It's like, it's not only this one purpose, one goal or dream that you have in life. Yes, it's good. That's part of your journey, but the bigger picture You're here is to, you know, being good with one another being I like having each other's backs being kind and, you know, raising a generation based on loving giving, because as we realize, like, when the this life is all like scattered and people are like, how do you say like, there is wars, there's corruption and everything like that you see, everything breaks down, because the fundament of every everything in this life, even if you look at in business, if this business is based on lies, or based on corruption, it will always fall down. But if it's built on trust, like many family businesses, they always get tend to succeed. So this is this is the purpose, this is what we have to all like, look forward to, you know, is it clear for you? Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 10:58 Yes, it is. Thank you so much. And I can feel the passion, and the inspiration in your voice. So ask, What inspires you? What are the things that you do that give you this energy, the life energy that allow you to work on your bigger purpose of helping humanity of sharing goodness in the world? Is it going to nature and connecting with that? Is it people and being kind to them and speaking with them? Is it Paul, or architecture and going to full interior architecture places, what are activities or things that fill you with energy, so that you can return and do more, Moni Miller 11:44 I'm kind of a religious person, I know, like, I'm not fully like, following everything, of my religion. But for me, I know that there is no higher purpose higher power than God. And there's no higher purpose than God. So for me to, like, even come and speak about this, or come have these intentions of purity, I know that we are here because of God. And we, it just gives us a reason to stay humble, and not think of ourselves as the center of universe. And thinking that this life is only for us and know, like, that's what makes it beautiful, that that's what makes life so much more fulfilling. So when I want to get this energy, when I want to give out to people, I just pray and just ask for God to, you know, direct me guide me to the right path. And it gives me a really, really like strong energy and strong like motive, to be kind with others. And, you know, it's funny, because once I am kind with others, I can see God like kind of gives me like, streets, my, like road, my journey in this life way easier. I've tested this, I've, I've seen that my actions do have like, have a message in the end. So that's how I am, you know, like, in order to be able to like, even like for people who are not religious or anything, like if, if you really truly like be loving and caring with other people and you love like people, the way that you love yourself, you will start realizing that everyone is just like you everyone wants to achieve something in this world. Everyone wants love and kindness. There is no one in this world who wants to be tortured and like, you know, be lied to and kinda get damaged or broken in the end. So if we all look at each other, like ourselves, we start like being kind with one another, we start loving everyone, we will start loving humanity. So that kind of gives a purpose to you and how you should treat others and how you should be in life. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 14:08 I like that. Thank you. And since you're someone who is religious, who has the energy and can connect with people, have you ever had the experience of meeting people that from the very first second you feel you have chemistry with this person like you've known them all your life? Or do you necessarily need first to have some conversations to understand their values if they align with you? If they're have principles and are doing something before you open up at all, Moni Miller 14:46 if I could say this before, like if you asked me this question like a year ago, I would say yes, I found people that I felt like I connected with in the beginning like, like right away and it felt so amazing. But now with experience in life, like gets in the way you start, like, like trying to analyze people and like you start understanding from where they coming from. So now even if I connect with someone in the first initial, like, like their meeting, I would say that, okay, this person and I kind of get along, but I feel like I can get along with anyone. But if, if I want to, like, put this person as my, like, my companionship and like, stay with them forever, and everything like that, like I need more time to develop that like relationship, I need to understand them, like, I have to see if they would understand me as well, for me to proceed to that, but initially, I love and I see everyone as unique. And I see everyone as pure, innocent souls, until, like, you know, it kind of gets off the road or something happens. And like, you know, they show a side of themselves I didn't see in the beginning. So my initial idea from everyone is good, like, I try, I try to think of everyone as pure and innocent souls, until I see something's going on. And honestly, even in my religion, I can't judge that if someone kind of like, they go off road or they, you see kind of a negative side of themselves, you start you have to understand that, why they are becoming like that, you know, can't just say that, oh, this person is always like this, like, no, they might have be like, they might have parents fighting at home, or they might be going through so much. So as I said, like, everyone wants love, and everyone deserves peace, and everyone deserves kindness. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 16:53 Thank you, I agree so much. And you seem like a very understanding person. And you mentioned, it's important for you to find people who understand you. And earlier you said that you're being yourself if sometimes that is unusual, etc. Do you feel you often meet people who understand you? Or are they more rare? Moni Miller 17:21 I could say they're more rare to be honest. Because I can't find people that really like, as I said, like nowadays, everyone is all about, like, no purpose in life, going to clubs, drinking, smoking, you know, like, this is what they live for. So finding people who are like, look back, analyze, like, look at the world bigger than what it is and what it seems you can't find that every day, to be honest. That's why I, I guess, like, it's hard for me to find people that that way. I even if, you know, the funny thing is that even religious people like that I've came across with that. I feel like even they wouldn't understand me sometimes. Like, yes, we have the same belief, we believe in the same God, we kind of go with the same rituals or anything, because of their culture because of their belief systems because of their traditions. Everything they cannot relate to me, which is funny, right? Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 18:30 That's really interesting. And so to try to understand you even more and explore other parts of you tell me about pool. It seems to be an unexpected hobby. How did you fall in love with it? Was it something maybe you played in childhood with family members or something and you fell in love? Is it kind of relaxation where you forget all your troubles when you're focused on pool? Or tell me about it both? What does it give you? And how and what is the story of you becoming fascinated with it? Moni Miller 19:08 Alright, so pool it. It's comes with, yes, as I said, like, a bit from childhood, me and my friends would just go to, you know, to hang out. And if there was, like a pool table, and we would just play, but in the beginning, it was kind of like something fun. But as I grew up and started doing it more, it kind of became a place of my where, because pool itself is very fascinating. Like, this game is so strategic and you have ways to connect with the ball and you know, like I see pool as how life is strategize for us. Yeah. You have to hit each goal in order to reach the eight ball and when you reach the eight ball, you have to find a way to reach to it the way that you want. Because you, when you pick the eight ball, you have to pick the pocket as well. So how you reach to that level is very fascinating to me. So, I, when I say play with my friends and stuff, I become a different person. Like, because also I smoke. So poor kinda allows me to relax and like, put my mind into the game and stop worrying about everything else. And like, focusing on what's in front of me, it's very, very mindful game. Like you, I really connect with it. And I realized I'm good at it. So I was like, I love you know, between my friends into it and everything. So it's very, at the same time, like strategic and fun, and a place of relaxing and calming down and just, yeah, that's, that's all I could say. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 21:11 That's really interesting. And to speak about another thing, which is Turkey, you're living in Turkey? How and what is your experience of that country? Is it given you the freedom because you mentioned it's important that you desire? Does that match your fascination with interior design? Is it a part of the journey and you'd love to do further life and study abroad? Like in Paris or New York? Or Dubai? Or I don't know, somewhere else? Like, what is your experience? Now in Turkey? What do you love about the culture? And where else if you could live anywhere in the world would you choose to be Moni Miller 21:56 so in order to describe Turkey, I would have to kind of come kick, compare it with other countries I've been to because I've been around, I've met people with different nationalities, I've, I know what it's like to travel and everything and settling down and adapting to a situation. So if I want to describe Turkey after compared to the places have been, so in Iran, okay, we are based on a system, a Shia system, where you have to follow that rule, and you have to be that thing. And there is no other religion, you have to just respect that. So I never had the chance to kind of explore other religions or explore anything else, or even ask about what is this religion about? You know, I, I, in my own country, I wasn't allowed to ask about what is shear? What, why are we following this? And I was just, like, you know, I had to follow it. So can that kind of restricted me from being more open minded and being more curious about life? So as we went to Malaysia, I was 11 years old. And in Malaysia, it's kind of it's it is a Islamic country. But that place because there's so many nationalities from all over, all over the world to come to Malaysia to study. And I've met a lot of Arab country, nation, nationalities, and Europeans. So that was for my, for me, that was my first time, like, you know, seeing people from other countries. So being in an international school or like, like, from all these countries, that was kind of like hard for me to adjust. Because I was only seeing girls. Like, because in Iran, you're restricted, like you have to be an all girl school, and only Iranians. So that was interesting for me. So in Malaysia, it was kind of more diverse in a way that you kind of feel free no one is like, you can be whoever you want, no one cares, you're this You're that that that really doesn't matter at all. Because they're the way they are, is they're very welcoming. Like my, my experience with the Malaysians. They're very kind all of them speak English. All of them are very, like giving and everything. But at the same time, I could say that Malaysia is a country with no purpose because not a lot of things happen in Malaysia. Like, if something big happens it will be like once a year, or like the president stole from the country Najib during, like 2016 or 17 I guess he stole 13 trip VN, Malaysian ringgit from the country, and he was arrested. So that's the only thing like you don't hear a lot of like terrorists you don't hear like people killing each other and stuff. So that country is kind of relaxed, very happy, kind of like a paradise with the no purpose. So that's why when I meet anyone that's been to Malaysia you I never hear them, them having a bad time. Like it's impossible. So Malaysia was a place that helped me to be more open minded with other people. Now when it came to Turkey, it's very interesting because Turkey Yes, as much as there is international people, and as much as there is diversity, even more so as you could save the Malaysia. However, I feel like the dominant figure of Turkey's nationalities, like kind of takes over the whole purpose of international and being diverse. So when I came here, I, not only me, but many of my friends have faced many ratio issues like that kinda didn't allow them to connect with Turkish people, but it kind of, like, kind of, you know, how there is this phrase that says, like, easy situations, create weak men and weak men create hard situations and hard situations create strong men, as I said, like in Malaysia was kind of easy. environment. So everyone was kind of, I'm not saying weak men, but people with no purpose. And in Turkey, because it's a difficult situation, I could feel that they're way more like, like, they think they kind of have an opinion, they have something to stand for, like, in Turkey, it's crazy, like, you could be killed for, you know, being an other team of a football team. You wouldn't imagine that, but it is true. Like they are crazy, like very Stanford relief. And that's what it is. Even though turkeys is a secular country, like they don't mix religion with politics, however, but within people themselves, you could see there is it's all branched out, like, you could see like Arabs hanging out with Arabs, Iranians, Hangout, Iranians, Turkish hanya, with Turkish, so it's rare to find like, internationals by mass hang out with each other. But nowadays, like these current years, I can see that more common than before, and Turkey, Turkish people are getting more used to the foreigners, even though there's still kind of a bit of racial issue, but it's not as much as it used to be. And so far, I've had problem with language barrier, because they're not willing to learn English, or even the ones that are, their education system kind of limits them, you know, doesn't allow them to go beyond that. And also, the economy was perfect before it was because you know, we would get money in dollars, and we would spend it here, the prices were good. But now as dollar is going high, the price is always also rising. So it's kind of becoming as difficult for a student who's living here. And the visa is getting harder to get. And if I could say like, Turkey, if it's been a blessing for me, I would say yes, because it has taught me a lot. It taught me a lot about people. Because even though I was raised with a diverse community in Malaysia, but Turkey in the way it is diverse and with with the situation itself, has allowed me to realize that friendships are not the way that I thought it was. It wasn't like oh, friendship is like, Oh, we will die together right or die or, and stuff like that. And you'll forever be my best friend. No, no, I've switched my best friends like 10 times by now. So kind of friendship is it's different to what I, I kind of was raised to. I've realized that people come with just a purpose, they, they are there to give you a message and if it's time for them to go, it's alright. Because your journey and their journey is might not be on the same way as you so that a lot has allowed me to let go of people easily and kind of move on and focus on the purpose that I'm here for. And if I could Say if I want to go travel to another country, I would if like you want full honestly, I will tell you, I don't know. Because with the world and what's happening right now with, you know, the wars going on the situation with Ukraine and Russia, I don't think Europe would be a, like, initially everyone would say Europe because it's a place that it's perfect for growing as a person and growing your life there. But however, because of the politics involved, like I don't think in the next five years in Europe will be a great place to stay. So I also thought about Japan. But even though Japan is part of the great eight nation countries, g8 countries, so even that wouldn't be a good factor. So I really, I don't know if opportunity comes I guess I would go wherever the opportunity takes me. But if you asked me, Do you have a place that you were heading to? I will tell you? No. I was born on this earth. So wherever it takes me, I'm good bedtime. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 31:14 Thank you. Mani, this is very interesting, and how you share about your life and to also understand why interior architecture? How did the choice come to be? What's your fascination with it? What's the story? Moni Miller 31:32 Interior Architecture, you know, since I was a kid, I was always, you know, changing my room, you know, like, putting places like switching up the closet with the beds, like just trying things out painting on my walls. So in the beginning, it was kind of like a childhood hobby, you could say. But then I actually, I realized I'm a good like, debater, so I wanted to get into law. And for a long time, I thought I would be a lawyer. Then once I came to Turkey, and it was time for me to choose a course to be like to for my Bachelor's, what would I choose? I went to, you know, okay, let me tell you about the system here. So in order to, for you to be accepted to a university unit. If, for example, if you studied abroad, and you're coming to Turkey, your document needs to be stamped by the Turkish government, that oh, we do accept it, it's called Dengue click you, they have to kind of like, accept it and put a stamp on it. And this is this process itself, it's so hectic, because you have to, like, go to the like the place itself, like every morning and go to switch to different offices to find your paper and blah, blah, blah. So one time when I was just doing this stuff, you know, I stood I was there from the morning until the evening. And I was like, do I really want to be in courthouses and running after people's things for hours? hours? Like, I don't find the purpose here, I would look at these walls, and they felt so empty, so hopeless, like, there is no life in it? Yes. Like, being a lawyer, there's so much money in it. But is it always about the money, I say, realize I was like, You know what, I'm not going to be a lawyer. I'm going to choose interior architecture. And to be frank with you, when I chose this course, I thought its interior design. So there is a difference between interior design or interior architecture. Interior Design is basically decoration and like switching the bed, and you know, like putting color wallpapers on the one, that's interior design, it's like the, you're, you're just like, how do you say like, they are decorating the final touches. That's it. That's interior design. But interior architecture, is basically they give you an empty building. And you have to literally turn out the whole place your gift function, you give it a life, you give it a so that and that to me, in the beginning, it was hard, but now I feel like I can give a life to a building that's so empty. And, and like it's so fascinating, like fascinating to me. Because you have to make your own furniture you have to create your own design or your own imagination in a space that it it looks dead. So you bring the priest alive. And you know, I mean, interior interior architects and architects always have like these clashes and like this kind of joke. said, Oh no, we we don't need you guys we are we're basically making the building and you guys are just doing the interior. And I always give them the same question. I always ask them and like, if you see beautiful person and their personality is really bad, would you fall in love with them? And no one says yes, no, I'm like, Okay, think of this person as a building. If this person, if the building looks amazing, but the interior is so ugly, you would never slept in that building again. But if the interior is beautiful, and it really like you love being in that space, and you love, like sitting there having coffee or doing whatever, you would always go back, no matter how the building looks on the outside, is the same. So even as a person, like if the person has a beautiful personality, no matter how they look on the outside, the fact that there is such a beautiful soul, you would love to sit with them again, and you would fall in love with them again, all over. So this itself kinda, you know, drops the mic on. All the architects that ever want to have a debate with me about or architecture is more important. Wouldn't you agree? Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 36:23 That's really poetic and beautiful perspective on something that we use every day and we live every day in the buildings and to bring purpose like you said, on life. To them. It's very important. There are two words that I can say about you that you spoke about a lot, its purpose and given life and meaning to things. So thank you money very much. This was my privilege. Such a wonderful way to explore who you are and understand you better, and I wish you success. I wish you peace, freedom, and all the things that you desire. Thank you, too. Moni Miller 37:09 Thank you so much. It was a pleasure to be in part of your podcast and thank you for giving me a voice. This is has been a pleasure.