Episode Transcript
Femininity is powerful in all its forms, exceptional women, rare girls must be appreciated in every
way for their perspectives, actions, thoughts, and their unique ways of being.
Such rare girls are inspiring and this is what this podcast is all about.
Hello, my name is Aziz and my guest today is Elisabeth Rubin.
Elisabeth is from Brussels, Belgium and she has three nationalities, Turkish, German,
and Ecuadorian.
Currently, she is an Erasmus Exchange student in Istanbul, Turkey and originally studying
in Belgium at the Royal Institute for Theatre, Cinema, and Sound.
Elisabeth is in her final year of cinematography studies and she desires to study social psychology
after her graduation because everything related to psychology interests her a lot.
Elisabeth has a strong artistic side to her personality.
She loves to draw, to write, to dance, and to play the piano in addition to many other
fun activities that express her creative side.
Elisabeth is a traveler.
She has traveled to over 40 countries and she speaks six languages fluently.
Elisabeth never stays still, she always wants to explore and to achieve more.
So she will never stop learning and growing.
And she is proud that her personality is kind because everyone around her can feel she has
good intentions.
Elisabeth, how are you today?
Hi, I'm very good.
Thank you for having me in your podcast.
I'm happy, I'm honored, I'm privileged, and very curious about you.
So I'll ask this, which is something I'm curious about.
When you speak different languages, do you have different sides of your personality that
are expressed or are you exactly the same in different languages?
Because there are people who argue and scientists that different parts of the brain are activated
based on the culture that the language is from.
So you can be more Latina if you speak Spanish, you can be more logical if you speak German,
you can be more artistic if you speak Italian or French.
Do you find this to be true?
So it's funny that you asked me this question because I just talked yesterday about it with
a friend.
I think it very depends, like on every person, it depends a lot.
For me personally, because I have been speaking these languages since I was a child, I think
it affects me less than maybe some other people because every day I'm used to come home, for
example, and speak three different languages at home.
Then when I go to school, I speak two different languages.
So what I want to say is that for me, changing the language doesn't change too much of my
personality or my opinions or something, but I do notice, for example, a difference in
my voice, which is funny.
I think because I'm used to speak French with my friends, it's less in a professional
way.
And when I compare it to my Dutch, which I only spoke at school and at work, it's way
more professional.
So I think on that point, it does change a lot.
So also at home, I speak German with my mom, so that's the only place where I speak German,
which is why it's also different when I'm at home, like I speak more.
You know, that's the thing that makes you change your personality.
I think it depends on who you are with.
I think usually because you speak one language in one place, your brain is going to connect
the language to your personality or to your style or to the place.
And so, yeah, that's my response to it, but for me personally, it doesn't affect me too
much.
Thank you.
That's really interesting, especially if we're immersed in the moment.
It's like fish in the water.
You cannot observe the water.
So maybe it happens, but the people who are speaking don't even notice it.
You need someone to observe.
And that makes me think about your love for psychology.
How did you begin this interest in psychology?
Why specifically social psychology is of interest to you?
And what part of yourself does it enrich when you will study it more or develop your interest
in it?
Okay, I will say it this way.
A few years ago, like I think maybe five years ago or something, I had a very low moment
in my life, which made me realize maybe I'm not the only one.
That's how I started to talk with other people about my emotions.
And since I was like a kid, since I was born, I always used to try to help people as much
as possible.
And I think the reason why I've got out of my low place is because I tried to connect
with people by helping them on a mental level, like by asking them questions about their
mental state and some other stuff like that.
I think that's how it all began.
And with the time, I always used to inform myself online by watching podcasts actually,
but also videos.
And I don't know, I also tried to have some courses online, but of course the free ones
are never as good as the ones where you have to pay.
So I think just generally it's really what I wish to do later.
And the reason why socio-psychology is a little different is because you're more connected
to the people, because maybe you're connecting with them on a deeper level.
You also get to meet the family, the place where they're from.
And actually the field I'm studying in is 90% out of the office, so which means you
will go to their homes, you will actually experience what they experience in order to
understand what's going through their mind.
This is the reason why I chose that specifically, and it's a little different than pure psychology.
So yeah, but I really like it.
And I think that there are people on earth who don't really express their emotions the
same way as people like me do.
To start with, I'm highly sensitive, which is why my emotions are like, I feel like they're
just multiplied by 50 or something, like so much more than generally.
People don't feel as deeply as I do, I feel like.
And then there's also people who don't just feel emotions at all, we're not able to feel
an emotion.
I think if I had to explain to them how it feels like to me, I think I would tell them
like by expressing with, by connecting with people on a deeper level, I just feel, I feel
very open-minded, I feel relaxed, I just, it brings peace to me knowing that others
are also going through tough times and just knowing that I could maybe lighten their day
or just help them makes me feel so much better about myself, also better generally because
I know I can really help them to improve a situation or a mental state.
So this is why it's so important for me.
And also I really noticed some change in so many situations already and people have been
so thankful.
And I think later, maybe in life, this, the positivity you give to others might be coming
back into your life somehow.
And that's why it's very important to me.
I agree 100% karma, positive karma is a good and great thing.
And then to ask you, you mentioned that you feel emotions strongly, you're sensitive.
To ask you about the other side of that, are you an empath as well?
Can you feel the emotions of everybody around you?
Can you sense everything going on with them?
Like if they're in a bad mood, if you lead them into a better place, can you feel their
improved mood?
Are you sensitive in that way or is it that whatever happens really strikes you emotionally
on a deep level?
So it's more about your inner reaction to whatever is going on.
So I definitely do think I'm empathic and as stupid as this may sound, my mom always
used to tell me that she never met anyone as empathic as I am, but it's just to show
you that I really feel so much from what other people experience.
And like every time I'm in a room or just talking to someone, even if they're hiding
their emotions, I feel I can always feel what they're going through.
And also as soon as someone explains something to me, I can relate to them, even though it's
not something I experienced, even though I don't especially agree on what they're saying,
because sometimes you don't have to agree on everything, you just have to try to understand
what they're going through.
And I think I have a lot of, I just think that on that point I'm really good at because
people always tell me that they're thankful that I can understand them.
And sometimes when people talk, I finish their phrases and then they're like, oh, you just
read my mind.
So I really do think it's something inside of me, I'm very empathic.
And as I said, hypersensitivity, I think is something rare, but that every person who
has it has the same way of being empathic towards other people on a deep level.
Thank you.
Yes, it's very useful.
It's like a superpower.
And then to ask you even more about this topic, you enjoy helping people when people tell
you that you made a difference in their lives.
You want to do this even deeper, go to their homes, et cetera.
When you help people, the joy that you get from that is it because you're more of a people
pleaser and that when you make other people happy, it brings you tremendous joy.
Or like you mentioned before, you had a low point in your life and therefore when you
see someone go from a bad emotional place into a good place, you think it is possible.
So then if you get into a dark place in your life, you remember that and you think I have
seen again and again that it's possible to get out from this bad emotion and bad situation
and that gives you hope.
So is it about pleasing other people and that's the bigger motive?
Or is it about having the hope that yes, it's possible because I have done it and saw so
many people do it again and again and again?
I think for me personally, like you said, because I was on a low point somehow, I do
know that it can get better and I want to convince people that it will get better because
sometimes they don't believe in it.
But I think it's also like I'm not a people pleaser.
I wouldn't use that word because my happiness doesn't rely on other people's happiness,
but I just feel like if I help them out and I do good, I will feel good about myself because
for me being good to other people is somehow the meaning of my life.
I don't know how to explain this in a better way, but I feel like if I'm on this earth,
I should leave it better than how I came on earth.
Wait, what's the phrase?
Because people always tell me you should leave a place better than how you found it.
So I feel like helping people out is like my destiny and I just feel really good about
it.
Thank you.
That is true and sounds wonderful and to explore your mind and your personality even more.
Do you have a specific kind of culture that is the dominant culture in your personality
or are you more cosmopolitan in that you're open to all cultures or are you a mix of Turkish,
Ecuadorian, German, Belgian cultures all at the same time or how would someone who has
traveled comes from a background that is multiple, create and get into experiencing a culture
or being part of a culture?
That's a funny question because every time people used to ask me where you're from, I
always used to say that I'm like from the entire world because I do feel like there's
one culture that's a bit more dominant, which is a Turkish one, but I think it has more
to do with the fact that there's just more to it in the way that not on an emotional
way, but just like there's more history, I would say, which is why I think there's also
the culture where people have stronger personalities, which is why it just comes out more.
But I definitely do think that I have a little bit of everything and every time I travel
to another country, I try to take as much from the culture.
I try to take the good parts out of everywhere and just learn as much as possible and be
open-minded.
So sometimes they say to me that I look like I'm from Spain or from whatever another country
just because of my culture, but then I just say, no, I just take the good parts of everywhere
and I kind of combine it into what I have.
Thank you.
And you spoke about the Turkish culture being dominant inside you because of the history
and the heritage.
How would you describe a Turkish girl in 2022?
What's unique and different between your Turkish side or a Turkish girl living in the Turkish
culture compared to Western Europe or South America or any other part?
Okay.
So I feel like because of Turkey is way more into Islam than Western Europe is very different
on a cultural way and in a traditional way.
I think people in Turkey are a little more reserved, but I definitely think that it changed
a lot the past 20 years because the country is evolving so much and a lot of people don't
realize how much social media affects the younger generation.
I do think that the younger generation is changing and evolving a lot towards Western
culture.
So, I mean, the people from Muslim countries are evolving towards Western European traditions
somehow.
I don't mean it in a bad way, by the way, when I say reserved, I just mean that the
cultures are different and I think in Western Europe, they're less modest.
And I think for myself, I'm also more on that part.
Me myself, I do believe in God, but I don't put my name on a religion and I don't want
to put rules on my own thoughts and body and whatever I do.
But I do feel connected to someone, which is for me God, but I just don't want to give
a name to it.
Like, I don't want to put a label on it.
And I think a lot of people on the Western side of Europe think the same way as I do.
And I think that in Turkey, the women especially are more and more evolving towards the same
way of thinking, even though it's still very different, I have to say.
Thank you.
That's really interesting.
And you mentioned and spoke about social media.
So far, do you feel and believe that social media is a wonderful thing?
That it allowed people to explore new cultures to meet from all over the world?
Or do you feel it does somehow reduce young people's self-esteem by comparing themselves
to others and therefore they will feel looking at such perfect lives, et cetera, which are
not real.
They feel self-conscious.
I really think it has both sides because as you said, there's a lot of people who don't
have everything that the famous people own, they compare themselves, they don't have especially
the bodies, the money, all those material stuff and all those like about the physical
appearance.
Also, I feel like it puts a lot of pressure on the younger generations because we want
to seem perfect, but we don't realize that life is not actually about being perfect.
Like if you look in real life, no one is going to be exactly like they are on social media.
Sometimes they are like photoshopped on Instagram and then they're pretending to be rich, but
maybe they're not.
You know, this type of stuff, I do think it's very toxic and it's the negative part of social
media, but I feel like personally I've learned to deal with it and I don't care about it
as much as I used to.
And I think a lot of people will learn it in the coming years because it's all new.
And I think it's just a matter of time unless people start to just get used to it and not
pay as much attention as they do now.
And as for the good part, I think it's very amazing for the people who are, for example,
discolorized because you can learn so, so much through internet.
I think for me it's like one of the ways I started improving my mentality somehow because
I learned so much about everywhere and I was always curious about so much and you can access
in a few seconds to anything you want to know.
You can have an answer to any question you have and I think it has a really good part.
Also, if you just look at me, for example, or yourself, we are people who have families
on other sides of the earth and I think it can connect to people who are very close but
so far away from each other, which is a really, really strong part of social media and just
internet in general.
I think it helps a lot of relations to keep going and I really love that about it.
Thank you.
Yes.
It's also a time where you cannot go back to days without social media, so better use
it in the way that is most empowering and useful at the same time.
You mentioned that you feel emotions really strongly, like 50 times more than the other
people, et cetera.
Do you focus and enjoy and prefer good and positive emotions or do you desire to experience
the full range where sometimes you might watch a sad movie just to cry, you watch like a
murder mystery to feel a bit afraid or a documentary about a serial killer because you want to
experience all those emotions or are you about good vibes only?
I think everyone who has hypersensitivity can understand that it's not only about the
good vibes because definitely when I feel low, I feel super low and sometimes if you
want to just let it all out, you have to watch a sad movie and cry about it, but I definitely
do feel also the good emotions way stronger than generally people do.
For example, when I'm happy about something that's so small, people always tend to tell
me like I'm exaggerating and they always tell me that by the way, no matter what I
am talking about, people always feel like I'm exaggerating, but from myself, I know
I'm not.
I just know I feel things on a different level, so if I tell something in a way that you feel
like I exaggerate, it's just because I'm trying to make you feel how I actually feel.
So I think for me, it's about all the emotions definitely, not only sad, not only happiness,
there's so much more like anger, like every type of emotion you can feel and I think it's
very special, like you said, it's kind of a superpower and it can be very difficult
sometimes because you feel like not everyone understands what you're going through, but
in the end, I think it's one in 10 people who's hypersensitive, something like that,
so you can find some people who feel the same way about it as you do and in the end, I think
what matters the most is controlling your emotions and as long as you're not aware that
you're hypersensitive, I think it's also very difficult because for me personally, I didn't
know for a long time and I didn't understand why I felt so different from the rest, but
growing up, I also listened to podcasts about that and I think if you have ways to educate
yourself about it, it definitely gets easier with the time.
That's wonderful and as a hypersensitive person, how do you know when someone is your person?
Is it that their energy from the first second, you feel like you know them all your life,
like you met in a previous reincarnation and you hit it off right away or is it more about
speaking to them, understanding them and first needing to find commonalities and common values
before you open up and say, this is my kind of people.
So on what level do you connect with the people that will matter in your life?
Is it energetically, is it based on values, shared commonalities or how?
So personally, I don't really believe in reincarnation and stuff like that, so I wouldn't say it's
based on that for me, but I do believe in energy and what I mean by that is not a nor
power or something, I just mean when you start talking to someone, the first time you start
talking to someone, you kind of notice what they're looking for in life and how they are
and how they're going to treat you and I think for me personally, as I said, the intention
someone has is what matters the most to me.
It's a silly example, but they always say you can know if someone is a good person based
on how they treat a server at a restaurant and I think it's really true because if you
feel like someone is treating the server wrong for no reason, you can feel like they don't
have the best intentions, like why would you be mean to someone for no reason?
They're just doing their work.
Why would you feel more higher than them or just like that?
Why would you feel different?
And I feel like for me, the intention someone else has towards people generally, not towards
you because people might be kind to you, but mean to someone else.
I think the intentions they have towards anyone generally is what matters the most to me and
is based on that, how I judge if I'm going to like someone or not, or if I'm going to
keep them in my life or not, because if they have good intentions and they do mistake,
it's fine because I know they're not meaning to hurt me or not mean to hurt someone else
or not meaning to be like negative.
If they have good intentions, I know they will try to fix it.
And I think for me, that's the most important thing I'm looking in when meeting a new people.
Thank you so much, Elizabeth.
This was my privilege, my honor.
I wish you success in your graduation, in finding the best university that will fulfill
your wishes for the social psychology studies and keep helping people, keep sharing the
good vibes.
It all comes back in very good ways.
Thank you again.
Thank you so much for having me.
It was so fun.
Thank you so much.
