Episode Transcript
Hello, my name is Aziz and I'm the son of a divorced mother. She is really my superhero.
That's why it's important for me to support women to share their uniqueness, their personalities,
their perspectives, and emotions about this world. In these difficult times in human history,
we need to bring the cultures of the world together. And when we listen to real people,
to real lives of women from other countries, we connect our humanity without our differences
or stereotypes and we get inspired by their stories to live a better life.
That's what this podcast is all about. My guest today is Carmen Jorda. Carmen is an aerospace
engineering student at Politehnica University of Bucharest, Romania. Carmen loves fitness
and nutrition. She is vegetarian and she is constantly working on being outside her comfort
zone and living an authentic life. Carmen, how are you today? Hi, I am great. How are you?
I'm feeling positive. I'm feeling grateful to be alive and very curious about you. So I'll begin
asking about your decision to become vegetarian. How did that become? How did it make you feel?
When did it happen? Tell me everything. Well, I've been a vegetarian for almost three years now,
and I chose to be a vegetarian because, as cliche as may sound, I saw a documentary that
changed my whole view about meat. The documentary is called Cowspiracy, and after I saw it,
I realized that I was just looking at meat as food and not like he was a living creature before,
and I felt guilty and banned in some way to eat meat after that. Afterwards, I've done my research
about how impactful is the meat consumption over the environment because of the deforestation
that comes from meat factories expanding. And actually, there are other pros to it,
like the health benefits, because vegetarians are actually more or less likely to develop diseases
like type 2 diabetes and have cancer. And that's basically all of the reasons that made me decide
to do this. And actually, I wouldn't change anything about it. And I don't think I would ever
go back to being a meat eater, as it has been great to me until now. And I really love it.
Thank you. That's wonderful. And I heard in your reasons, some logical reasons, which I imagine
is a part of your decision making, as an aerospace engineering student, and emotional ones, like when
you watched that documentary and you felt the pain and the agony and the suffering of the animals.
To ask you then, are you a lot more emotional? Do you make decisions based on how you feel?
How you feel? Or are you more of a logical kind of girl? And that's mostly the basis of your
decision making? Or how do you combine both if both are strong within you? Well, I think both
emotion and logic, both of them are important. But usually, when I take a decision,
I first look at the emotion part. But when I do take the decision, I just choose the logical
and rational reasoning overall. Because I think maybe our emotions may induce us in error, and
we may take not really the best choices. Because I think rational wins overall. And emotions are
usually not the best when we take decisions, as we don't think thoroughly at the outcomes of our
decision. And we just think about it in the now moment, I think. Thank you. And I'll play the
devil's advocate a little bit. I was thinking about another question, but I'll ask this one.
Look, we live in a probabilistic world where no matter how well we plan, it's like they say,
God laughs at our plans. So why not make decisions based on emotions as long as it makes us happy?
Because even if we plan it logically, it might end up being wrong no matter what. And therefore,
we're both unhappy and unsuccessful. So I'm playing the devil's advocate here to see
what would be your answer. Well, yeah, I think that that saying with God laughing at us when
we make decisions is true, as I came to experience it myself. And I believe that it's good to let
ourselves feel whatever we want to feel and choose everything that makes us happy. And I think that
I think that emotion can rule over ration in small decisions. But in important decisions,
ration and logic should be the main elements, even though emotions and feelings can never be
completely ignored in the decision making. But in the big choices, I think I still think the
the main reasoning should be ration. Thank you, Carmen. That's really interesting.
And so for you personally, how was the decision to study aerospace engineering at Polytechnica
University? As especially that you are interested in fitness and nutrition, why not study something
related to that? How was this decision? Tell me the story. Actually, the story I'm about to tell
you has nothing to do with my choice of I mean, you wouldn't expect to choose aerospace engineering
after everything I've been through. Because two years ago, I was actually preparing to be a medical
student. And I was studying for the admission exam. But at some point, one day, I saw a girl on YouTube
who was crying because she was in medical school. And it was really hard. And she realized that's
not what she likes. And that made me realize that made me wondering if that's what I want
as well. And I came to the conclusion that it was not and that I let myself be influenced by my
parents and everyone around me. And after that, I tried to discover myself more and I was trying
to figure out what I would like to do and what can be my purpose in life in life after all.
And I think that it's hard for everyone to make a choice at 18 years old,
as a barely adult who is just starting to discover life and its wonders. And I was feeling
incredibly pressured at that time. And when the time came to me for me to make a choice
of which college should I go to. And so I thought about what I like. And I really like traveling,
even though I haven't traveled as much as I would want to. And I plan to do. And I was thinking
about the fact that I really like cars. Since I got my driver's license, driving has been like an
escape door for me. And every time I felt stressed or anxious, I would just drive my car and listen
to my favorite songs. And that would be just like the equivalent of therapy maybe. And so
one night when I was sitting in my porch swing, I was looking up to the sky as I would often do.
And I realized that this is what I was looking for. And I didn't realize it was right in front
of my face. Because I will always look up to the sky at the stars and the lights of airplanes
wandering about the outer space and being fascinated by it. So this is how I came to
the decision of choosing aerospace engineering. So you see, there was first of all, it was medicine.
And then I came to the conclusion that it's now what I really like. And just me sitting on my porch
made me realize that I was almost every night just sitting there and looking at the stars and just
being fascinated by it. And that made me realize that this is what I want to do. I want to discover
more about it. I want to know more about it. And as you were saying about why I didn't choose
nutrition and fitness, I mean, this is like a passion for me. And this is something that I
like to do, but not in a working way. My fitness and nutrition, my journey with it started as me
being a little bit overweight since I was a little kid. And I got through a little bit of bullying
and all of that. And that made me get into the diet world and was actually the starting point of
my eating disorder, which it's still troubling to me to this day. And as I started to diet,
I just got into a lot of research and a lot of knowledge about nutrition and fitness.
And I came to like it. But when I think of it, I don't think just about the positives. I actually
think about as well as my bad times to say, when I had an eating disorder and I would just look at
food as calories and not the fuel to my body. And that was really damaging and not the right mindset.
And I'm really glad that I got rid of it. And so I didn't want to start a career with
in this field, counting the fact that he really has not such a good history to me.
And so aerospace engineering was the only thing that made sense to me, I think.
Thank you so much for sharing. I really, really value how brave you are to defy
all the pressures that were pushing you towards medicine. When you knew it's not for you,
as well as me, someone who has struggled with weight since I was a child, I can really relate
to what you're saying and how if you did it professionally, it has too many negative associations
and things that will not make it a pleasure to enjoy in your life. And I encourage your
development constantly, your understanding of yourself, your self-love and self-acceptance
because people's souls are the most beautiful thing and the body, it's temporary, it's physical,
it's not really who the human being is or the girl is or the person.
And I'm really curious about something. When you're sitting at your porch or anywhere looking
at the stars, fascinated by space and the world outside, how is that similar to you driving,
listening to music and feeling that therapy or meditative feeling? Are they related in some way?
Is space for you as well an escape? Is it something like that? Or is it more about curiosity,
curiosity about something new, unknown, and therefore exciting?
Actually, I think it's both of these facts because actually, yeah,
space does seem like an escape. I mean, it's something above all of us. We don't really know
what it is. And I'm curious about it as well because I mean, since I was a little kid,
I was always curious about everything. Even when I had a toy, I would just open the toy up and
destroy it to see what's inside and everything and to see the mechanism of it. And that made me think
that I would be a good engineer, I think. And as a really curious person, I always like to discover
and see about something. I would like to see every point of it from every angle and to truly
discover it, not to just overview it. And I think space can really be an escape because when I look
at the space, I feel like a small person and that my everyday life struggles maybe aren't as
important or as big because we're in this truly, truly, gigantic universe. And maybe we shouldn't
really worry that much about every little thing in our everyday life. And we should just enjoy life
as we have it because we don't really know what's about to happen tomorrow. We don't know what's
about to happen in 10 minutes from now. So we should really enjoy as it is. And I would like
to discover it and see it as I would go to my college and who knows where I would end up to.
And who knows what the research would be at that point. I mean, there are great scientists out there
and maybe I'll become one of them, who knows. I hope you become one of them really. And that
was really wise to speak about how small we are compared to the vast enormity of space. And
that gives you perspective on your own problems that they don't matter too much even in the
age of the universe, how many millions of years and billions, etc. of stars, etc. All those small
problems are not even something to be noticed, which elevates your mood. And me too, as a curious
person, I was that child. I can imagine you breaking toys. I don't know if you could every time
put them back. Me, I couldn't always. Sometimes they're broken forever, but my curiosity won.
And that's why I love the Kinder Surprise toys. Those were magnificent as well as the chocolate
being wonderful and tasty. And you are, as you described yourself, a curious person.
You want to discover. You said a lot, who knows what will happen. It means you're excited to know
where the research will be about your future, about what's going on. Usually such people are
naturally outside of their comfort zone. Well, now for you, you're challenging yourself to step
often outside your comfort zone. What was keeping you inside it? Was it like you spoke before,
the bullying? Is it maybe a cultural thing or it's comfortable so you stayed there?
Because usually as they say, curiosity killed the cat. Why? Because it went outside its comfort zone,
which is a bad saying because all the growth is outside the comfort zone. It's the most exciting
and alive place. So as a curious person, I'm really wondering how come you stayed longer than
you wanted inside your comfort zone? What was keeping you there? Because usually you'll be
free like a bird, constantly out of it. Yeah. I think what was keeping me in my comfort zone
was actually the bullying. When I was in school, I got a little bit bullied and that destroyed my
confidence and kind of made me a little bit shy. And I used to be actually a really confident and
sociable as a kid. And I was a trouble kid, let's say that. And so after that bullying in school,
when I went to high school, I was actually still a little bit shy. But with time, I got better at
trying to gain my confidence back and trying to get rid partially of my anxiety and all of the bad
thoughts. I'm still working on my confidence and anxiety even now, but I know where I'm going to
get to where I want to be because I'm taking it one step at a time by getting out of my comfort
zone with every chance I got. For example, as this podcast, if I see an opportunity every single day,
I would just take it. I mean, me when 12 years old me would just be girl, what? No, I'm too scared
to do that. But no, I'm like, you know what, who cares? Let's just take my best chance and see what
happens. And so yeah, I think this is why. Thank you. That's so cool and brave as well again. And
about the bullies, I hope, you know, you have, I'm sure now you have a stronger mindset, but
I love what the Stoics, the philosophy of Stoicism talks about, especially Marcus Aurelius,
that people who are bullies, they bully you because they hate themselves and therefore
they need to put their pain that there is inside their bodies into someone else, which means when
someone bullies you, that's about them. It's not about you and therefore it's not something to
notice even or to take as a reflection of yourself. It's a reason to pity them that they are in their
pain and they need to hurt someone else in order to feel a bit better, which is sad. I hope it's
much better for you. And to ask you then even more, nowadays, of course, you change as a person,
you work out more, you even change your hair color. Is that because, is it part of your path of
healing that when you want to look at yourself in the mirror, you say, I don't look like that girl
who was weak and bullied, now I can be a different person with a different life, with a different
path and I have no relationship to that person I used to be? Or is it something totally different,
the reason is more fashion or trendy or style? Actually, yeah, me changing my hair color and
all of that really has to do with my process of healing. Because, like I said, I used to be
a really confident as a kid. And actually, when I was a kid, I was blonde. After that, my hair
just became darker and darker. And when I became blonde, I was just reflecting at my old self and
and thinking about that little girl who was so confident in herself, and she was just a little
girl. And if she can do it, why can I? And now when I look in the mirror, I just look at that
little girl that has all grown up and it's back to being herself again. And apart from all of that,
I don't really think that maybe these little changes in our aspect, they can't really mean
that much if we don't change on the inside. I mean, we can change everything about our aspect. I
don't know, get a tattoo, get a piercing, get change our hair color, our style, our everything.
But the change should really be within ourselves. So, my hair color change and
every change that I made is just the outcome of my interior change. And yeah.
I like that. There is a spiritual concept, which is as above, so below, which is our
spiritual inner reflects into our outside reality. And so to you, imagine you could go back to your
12 years old self. You can give her some advice, some opinions, you can explain to her how to regain
her confidence and self-love. What would you share? What lessons have you learned on this journey that
maybe your older self didn't know? And if you heard then, it would have made a really big difference.
Well, I will say to her, well, as you said earlier about the Toychism, as everyone who bullies you,
it's about a problem within themselves. And actually, I found out
found out afterwards, my bullying, my bully. I mean, I had like small bullies, but the main bully
that just put me through the worst mindset and just destroyed my confidence.
I found out that her parents were actually divorced and she was just struggling with
changing houses and where she lives and all of that. And actually, after I found that,
I was a little bit pitying her in some way and I didn't feel as bad. And the main advice, I think
would be to just stop letting people change the way you feel about yourself. How you feel
about yourself, that's your power. You choose that. No one else should make you feel in
some sort of way. Just you can make yourself feel some way. And I know everyone's opinions
may matter a little bit or not, but the only opinion that matters is yours. And if you think
something is right or it's not, just go with your intuition and just don't doubt it, whatever it is.
That's why intuition and feelings are more powerful than logic.
I'm joking. And thank you so much. That's absolutely true. And even more, I want to know,
how do you experience confidence? What is it to you, self-love? Is confidence to you when you do
what you want, what is resonating with your soul, with your mind? And if people say it's wrong,
you trust yourself more and you're not affected. Is self-love that you love your imperfections
even more than your positive parts? How would you define it? If we could create a dictionary
of Carmen and we put the words confidence and self-love, what would be written by Carmen
near to these two words? I think I would define self-confidence as not caring about other people's
opinion about yourself and accepting and loving, like you said, your imperfections and yourself,
your whole self, your authentic self, not yourself put through some other filters and some
all of that. And yeah, I think that's it. Thank you. And I understand you're a scientist,
you're studying engineering. At the same time, you look up at the vastness of space and imagine
and wonder what is there. That makes me wonder, do you have any spiritual or metaphysical beliefs
about how the world works? Do you believe in karma? Do you believe that there is destiny?
Do you believe that all the people in the world are soul mates created to teach us lessons so
that we grow on this earth and find a way to love ourselves and the universe unconditionally?
What is your thought? I don't know, maybe you finish and close your math book and open a tarot
reading. I have no idea. Tell me more. Yeah. So actually, there's like a small battle going
through my rational and my emotional self. There's always a battle, whatever it is. And
usually, like I said, when I make a decision, I go with a rational part. But when it comes to
believing in something, even though my rational self is saying, girl, are you serious? This doesn't
make any sense. If you don't have something to prove it, that means it doesn't exist. But
my emotional self says, you know what, it's actually great to believe in something, even though you have
no reason to do so. So, I mean, I feel there's like a magical feeling to believing in something,
because if you don't really believe in anything, and you're just rational, there's no magic in that.
And I don't know, the life feels plain, to be honest. And if you feel there's something more
out there, there's not just what we see, that's actually amazing. And even though my logical part
is taking a big part of myself, my emotional self likes to believe in soulmates and of karma. I
actually really believe in karma, because I've seen it happening a lot of times. And I believe
there's soulmates out there. There are a lot of them. There are your soulmates in a way that
they all teach you a lesson that helps you grow into a better person, to be your true self,
to be your true self, and to discover a lot of ways of yourself. How can you be with others? How
can you communicate with others better and really be a better version of yourself?
Thank you. You're really wise. And wisdom is beyond information and knowledge. It comes
when someone uses the pain of life to not become bitter, but to become insightful. And it's funny
that you have a battle inside of yourself between your logical and your emotional side. It makes me
want to recommend to you to study the philosophy of pragmatism, because what it deals with is truth.
And in pragmatism, what is true is what is personally works for you, which means that any
belief that makes you happy, for example, it's a good belief if it's not harming other people.
Even if it's not rational, like you said, if we're only all about data and logic, the world becomes
cold. But in pragmatism, it says, well, use any belief that makes you smile more in the morning.
That's a beautiful thing. And to use what is pragmatic, rather than the opposite, which is
what is utilitarian and more about what society decided. And since you have this battle in your
mind, and you decide logically, I'm curious, are you a decisive person in your life? Or do you
are you a decisive person? Because I imagine because of this conflict, when it's time to decide,
you might feel anxious and think, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, and stay in that loop, unable to
take the next step. Is this a description of yourself? Are you more hesitant? And how do
you work to become more decisive? Well, when I take big decisions,
I'm actually really decisive because, like I said, when it comes to big decisions, I put my
ration over everything. But when it comes to small decisions, like day to day decisions, why would I
eat for lunch or this? This is where I become indecisive and I just don't know where to go.
So, yeah, this is it. Thank you so much, Carmen. And just to finish this, what are some things
that you can recommend or feel a lesson or something you have learned that you didn't speak about yet,
that you can share with the world and you believe should be more known and heard, like
take more risks because even that 1% dream or 0.5% dream could happen and it's better than
regretting and living like many people who give up on their dreams and become zombies, lifeless?
Is it take care of your mental health first because nothing you get in this world was worth it
if you're depressed and self-hating? Is it saying don't succumb to pressures from others because
your happiness is your own and if you're suffering other people, it's not really the biggest
priority on their list. So you should take care of your happiness first and do what you want,
like you studying aerospace engineering instead of medicine. What are some lessons or one that
you believe in 2023 already should be heard that people should begin the new year thinking about?
I would say this is and this is a quote that I live by every day and I have it as a wallpaper as
well. This is a quote from actually Kung Fu Panda, Master Uhugwe, the turtle says it.
He says yesterday was history, tomorrow is a mystery but today is a gift. That is why it's
called a present and I think this should make us think that we shouldn't take life for granted
and we should really be grateful that we get to live and really we get to make our own decisions
that could lead to such amazing opportunities and such an amazing life and I think that we
should really enjoy every day as it is our last maybe. I know this is an old saying about enjoying
your every day as it could be your last and it actually is true. We don't have the guarantee for
we don't have the guarantee for the tomorrow. We don't have the guarantee for anything
and we should really enjoy life as it is and stop worrying about small things and anything that
could really keep us from evolving and discovering our true selves. I agree one million percent.
Thank you Carmen. I wish you every year 364 or 65 presents. I wish you an amazing life
to understand yourself, to become the best version of yourself and thank you again for
participating in this project. It was my privilege to interview you. Thank you so much Aziz for having
me. This was actually a really great experience and I'm really glad I met you and yeah this was
amazing. Thank you so much.
