Episode Transcript
Hello, my name is Aziz and I'm the son of a divorced mother. She is my superhero. That's
why it's important for me to support women to share their uniqueness, their personalities,
perspectives, and emotions about this world. In these difficult times in human history,
we need to bring the cultures of the world together. And when we listen to real people,
to real lives of women from all over the world, we connect our humanity without our differences
or stereotypes and we get inspired by their stories to live a better life. That's what
this podcast is all about. My guest today is Antonia Sorica. Antonia is originally from
Ploesti, Romania. She lived in York, England for two and a half years and now re-adapting
to life changes as she returns to Romania. Antonia loves writing and plans to study journalism
and contribute to the consciousness of humanity and the world. Antonia, how are you today?
I'm fine. There's a lot of Christmas shopping and a lot of Christmas decorating and everything's
crazy right now, but you know, I'm trying to keep it up. What about you?
I'm feeling grateful to be alive, lucky to be in this world and wishing you a Merry Christmas,
of course, and I'm very curious about you. So I'll begin asking about this. Re-adapting
to life and to people in Romania, it gives you a perspective on the culture and on the
people through contrast that doesn't happen when you're living here like a fish in the
water does not recognize that you are in the ocean. So to you, how are Romanian people?
What did you observe about them compared to people in England? How are people requiring
you to adapt in any way? Tell me everything. Well, I just realized only when I left actually
that probably Romania is not for me at all. That's for sure that Romania is not for me.
The people here are, I'm not going to say that they're too mean because I don't want
to insult them, but they're not open minded at all. It's really hard to open a subject
that you know, the country itself is like really Christian and religious. So did I,
I was baptized, you know, and I was born in a Christian family and it's hard. It's hard
to open a subject like this in a country like this, you know, I personally don't believe
in God and I only realized that when I left to England, but if I try to talk to my friends
about it, when I'm here, I'm going to be judged. They're going to call me, I don't know, a
satanist or something, which is awful. You know, that's not what I mean when I say that
I don't believe in God.
Thank you. And I have so many questions about you cause this is a really interesting, fascinating
and cool topic, but I'll begin with this. I'm surprised and to ask you even more that
younger girls your age are not open minded. I would imagine that from like your grandmother
or people of that demographic. So to ask you even more, how are teenage girls your age
in Romania? Are they open minded in some subjects, but not about religion? Are they conservative
in all ways? How would you describe it so that someone who never knew about it or you
as someone who can contrast them to people in England could give an opinion that is more
experienced?
Well, most of the young girls in here, I'm not going to say that they're not open minded
at all. I told you like, I don't want to insult anyone. There's people that you can talk about,
you know, a lot of things, but there are also people that you can't just like in every other
country. They're like people and people, not everyone is the same, but not everyone's different.
And some of them have like massive dreams, you know, they're dreaming of studying abroad
or going outside of country, leaving this place. And there are also girls that probably
just want to stay here and live the basic Romanian life, which is, you know, getting
married, having kids, you know, something like that, which is a big no-no for me, if
you ask me.
Thank you. And to explore your mind and your personality even further, what do you believe
about this world? Do you believe there is like an energy, karma, destiny, manifestation
of positive things, or do you believe it's all randomness and chaos and there isn't really
meaning but we hallucinate the meaning so that we don't go crazy? Or what's your perspective
on the nature of reality and life itself?
I believe that everything that happens, happens for a reason. For example, if you do something
bad, except be prepared, sorry, that something bad is going to happen to you too. So that's
basically karma. I do believe in karma. When it comes to, I don't know, like spirituality,
probably the reason why I don't say that I don't believe in God, it's because it's like
really complicated. No one can actually give me an answer, like a scientific answer, you
know? And there are too many religions. I hate it when people fight about religions.
I hate that everyone says, you know, like, this is my religion. I'm Muslim. My religion
is the right one. I'm Christian. My religion is the right one. And there's only one God.
But that's something that I really don't want to get involved into, you know, like the whole
fight between those people. And I would rather stay the way I am, thinking that yes, karma
exists. That's it.
Thank you. And are you a girl who loves the feeling of freedom? You don't like any constraints.
They make you feel suffocated. You don't like when other people impose on you other things.
You don't feel the desire to be a people pleaser, and you put your own opinion above others.
I mean, that you trust yourself more than what other people could say. Is this something
to describe you? Or specifically in a topic as charged as religion, you show that, but
in other areas of life, you maybe are accommodating, or you go with the flow, or follow others?
Or how does it go?
It is true. I do not like being controlled. I do not like that. And yeah, sometimes I
go with the flow, just because I don't want to get into really deep subjects, or like
really deep conversations, or something like that. And when it comes to pleasing people,
you ask me if I'm a pleaser. Yes and no. Yes, I love seeing people happy. I love doing
things that they like, but with a limit. Everything has a limit.
Thank you. And I'm really curious even more about you. Are you a logical person? Do you
make decisions and decide on opinions and thoughts based on logic? Or are you more emotional
where you perceive, does this feel right to me? Does this not feel right? You're chasing
new emotions, and the thrill of life, and excitement, rather than being constrained
by logic as well. Tell me more about which side of yourself is the strongest.
So we have a saying here is something like, choose with your brain, not your heart. But
sometimes that's wrong. That's wrong. Because if you do things in a logical way, like the
decisions that you take, you take them, you know, logically, you think about them, you
calculate them. Is it good? Is it bad? Maybe that's not entirely good for you. Just think
about yourself. If you're going to do that, yeah, you're going to be fine. But how about
emotionally? Are you going to be fine emotionally? You know, I'm like 50-50, depending on the
situation. And sometimes, I mean, mostly, not actually 50-50, I do take decisions with
my heart. Emotionally, I think about myself.
Thank you. And how does this relate to your love for writing? Is writing a medium for
you to explore your emotions, to discover yourself? Or is it a way to share and express
your state of being and perspective to others and share those emotions? Or do you view it
as art, that you love the sound of words, the making sense of life in a way that is
more poetic? Or how is your personality reflected in writing?
There are things that I can't say out loud. And what I feel, what I need, for example,
there are things that I can't talk to people. And whenever I can't do that, I write them
down on a piece of paper. And I also had a few emotional problems. And with depression,
I had to deal with depression for a while. And writing was how I was coping with it.
Writing helped me a lot. And that's how I express my feelings. That's how I express
things that I can't say out loud. And it's good. Sometimes, instead of crying, you can
just write. Just like people draw, for example, instead of crying or something like that.
That's how I cope with my feelings sometimes, by writing. And it helped me a lot. But I'm
also not okay with people seeing what I write. Even though I said that I want to study journalism,
that's going to be a really hard thing for me to show others what I write. But we'll
see.
I understand. And you mentioned that Romania is not the country for you. Where in this
world would be a place that is totally comfortable for your personality, that reflects your attitudes,
ways of being? Would you love to be in Hollywood, in LA, near the movie stars, and live in that
life? Or in New York City with all the diverse people from all over the world? Or somewhere
exotic like Brazil, or somewhere like Italy, with the history, the art, the good food,
or I don't know, maybe Japan, with the people having their own unique culture and ways of
being? Where in this world is a place that exists right now that would be for you a place
where you feel you belong?
Well, since I was little, as every American, all I heard was that the US, America, is the
place where your dreams can come true. Growing up, seeing, I don't know, on the TV, hearing
stories, making friends, having friends that are abroad, I realized that it is not the
place for me. And so I developed this obsession with the Northern countries. But for studying,
I would hope that I'll get into an amazing university in the Netherlands. We'll see.
But after I finish, I do see myself living in a Northern country. There's no reason for
that. I just love the Northern countries. The people are really calm. Everything's amazing.
The architecture, the weather, everything was made for me, you know? I don't see myself
in any exotic place. No, no, I'm not a big fan of high temperatures.
That's interesting. And imagine you are exactly in the Northern place of your dream, in a
country, city, home that is exactly a reflection of you, and you're making new friends. What
would be characteristics of people that make you feel, this is my kind of person? Are you
looking for people who are on an adventure, living a passionate life, saying things how
they see it, not caring what other people think? Or as you mentioned, calm people that
can give you that Zen feeling so that your emotions will calm down and you feel relaxed
or people who are into journalism and have shared thoughts and hobbies and interests
as you? Or how would you determine if a new person in a new country is someone interesting
enough to be your friend or someone you want to have in your life?
Well, first of all, even the people that I have around me right now are the people that
always want to do something. They have to be fun. They have to be fun all the time.
Smart as well, because I want to talk about whatever I want to with my friends. You know,
that's a must. And I don't care if they say things out loud or, you know, how they feel
and all that. I just don't care. I just want them to be fun. And I just want to do something
all the time. That's actually my personality. If I don't have something to do all the time,
I get depressed and I get in this, I don't know, state of mind that I don't want to be
there. You know, like I'm going crazy.
That's great. And it makes me wonder for you specifically, what makes someone fun all the
time? Is it like you said that they're constantly doing something? Is it that they're funny
and they say jokes? Is it that they have that energy of life and they're full of passion?
I don't know. How would you describe to a person that wants to understand the meaning
for you of someone who is fun all the time? How would they be?
You know, people that see life in a fun way, whatever happens, whoever leaves their life
or anything like that, they just still have to be happy about life. And, you know, instead
of seeing the empty half of the glass, why not see the other half of the glass, which
is basically full, you know? So people that perceive life this way, not getting sad about
anything like I do. So I want the exact opposite of people in my life than I am. Something
completely different because that's how I like people.
Thank you. So are you saying you're someone who often can feel a bit negative, a bit depressed,
who worries about this world, who doesn't react well to frustrations, et cetera?
Yeah, I worry a lot about things that I shouldn't even worry. And there's no need for that.
But I can't change myself only if I have someone around me to tell me not to worry
that much, you know, or to perceive life in a different way, because it's not as negative
as I see it. It's completely different than that. But that's how my brain works. And there's
someone, like, I need someone to wake me up from that negative dream that I'm leaving.
I agree that's an important person or people to have by your side. And since it's somehow
difficult to adapt to the culture in Romania, what would be your strategy or plan to adapt
to the culture in northern countries to make new friends? Do you plan to do it by joining
like different clubs, maybe journalism clubs or dance or something like that to meet the
right people and make new friends with similar interests? Or will it be from university you'll
take some courses even if it's after you finish your Netherlands studies, you'll do that?
Or you'll just say hello and Starbucks to new people who seem to be writing and tell
them, I love writing too. Or what would be your way to not be somehow feel like a foreigner
in that northern country?
I don't actually have a plan for that, to be honest. I just believe that what's meant
to be yours will find you even with friends. I'm also a person that talks a lot. If you
haven't noticed yet, I talk a lot. And for example, in class, let's say or I don't know,
in a cafeteria, somehow I'm going to meet those people. I don't know how I don't have
a plan. But it is going to be a little bit hard because of the racism. That's going to
be a bit hard for me, you know, to not if they ask me if I'm Romanian, I think I'm going
to say no.
That's really, really funny. And at the same time, you're someone who identifies with different
cultures. How do you see yourself? Do you see yourself as a soul who connects with other
people's souls? Do you see yourself as a magical creature or as a person that was born in the
wrong place, wrong time, or as someone who is just following what is meant to be and
you trust into life and the universe that everything will turn out good in the end?
And therefore, do you have any stories of moments or periods where things that are almost
magical seem to happen in your life that made you believe, oh, yes, this is how things are,
things always, there is no random coincidence. It's all for a reason.
There are two things here. Yes, everything happens for a reason. Even the bad ones, even
the good ones. Everything happens for a reason. You don't know the reason, but you're going
to find it out later. Maybe it's just a lesson, maybe not. There's a reason. And you mentioned
something about a wrong place, wrong time or something like that. I do agree with that
because I'm clearly not OK with the fact that I was born in this era. And also, I'm not
OK with the fact that I am Romanian, but that's not something that has to do with my culture
because our culture is amazing and I love it. Believe me, I love this country. But when
it comes to the country itself, not the people. But because of how Romanians are being seen
outside the country, like in other countries, for example, Germany or like Italy, Spain,
going to another country as a Romanian, you are going to be judged and you're going to
be called names. And that's awful. Why do I have to hide where I'm from? Because of
what? Because of how mean people are. So, yeah, wrong place and wrong time.
Thank you so much. And before we finish this, if there is any piece of advice or a lesson
to any girl in this world that feels she was born wrong place, wrong time, that will help
her mental health, the things that you discovered or encouragement. Maybe you tell her, go follow
your American dream or something like that. What would you say that will be a positive
or impactful message you wish someone else would have told you about?
Oh, my favorite one. Never rely on anyone else than yourself. You are the most important
person in your life. Everyone is going to leave, even your parents. As I'm not trying
to sound rude, even your parents are going to die one day and you're still going to be
here. It's your choice if you want to continue living your life relying on someone else or
you can just live your life just relying on yourself, which is better because you are
not going to leave yourself, are you? You're not going to do that. You're just going to
be you and yourself. That's it. Even if you're going to be married or have kids, you are
still going to be you. So be careful what you choose. That's it.
Thank you so much, Antonia. This was my privilege and my honor to learn about you, to discover
your unique personality and thoughts. And thank you so much for participating in this
project. I wish you success. I wish you freedom and I wish you to realize and create all your
northern dreams. Thank you very much. It was an amazing opportunity
and it was actually something different and a bit weird for me. But just thank you.
