Episode Transcript
Hello, my name is Aziz and I'm the son of a divorced mother. She is really my superhero.
That's why it's important for me to support women to share their uniqueness, their perspectives,
personalities and emotions about this world. In these difficult times in human history,
we need to bring the people of the world together. And when we hear the voices of women, when
we listen to real lives of women from other countries, we connect our cultures without
differences or stereotypes and we get inspired by their stories to live a better life. That's
what this podcast is all about. My guest today is Alele Vargas. A is originally from the
Philippines and currently lives in Dubai. A studied culinary arts, worked as service
crew in college, chef, admin, personal trainer and now a stretch coach. Her hobbies are sports,
crafts, goofing around with her dog and partying. A was able to tap into different industries
and has successfully landed a job that she genuinely loves. She believes one of the best
achievements one can have is to be happy every single day when going to your workplace. She
battled her childhood asthma through mountain climbing, sports and now teaching flexibility
classes like splits and others. Alele, how are you today?
Hey Aziz, I'm doing really well. How about you? How are you doing today?
I'm feeling inspired, happy to be alive, very, very grateful and curious about you as a person.
So I'll begin with this nice first question, which is A, if your friends could describe
your personality, what would they say about you?
Okay, that's a very nice question. Thank you for that Aziz. Well, to be honest, I'm not
even going to sugar coat it. Most of my friends, even my old boss said that I'm crazy. All
right. But in a good way, I guess they always see me as someone who always thinks out of
the box and just really jolly all the time. And one day I was out with a friend, she was
like, we've been playing this game where she was asked, what's one thing that terrifies
me about you? And her answer was, you're always so happy. It's unbelievable. And yeah, I guess
that's how my friend sees me. And I think that's great.
I love that. And I feel that people who others call crazy are very happy. They live a life
of adventure. So if you were to give some advice to any person in the world who feels
shackled and limited, and they want to be outside the box and a bit more crazy like
you, how should they see the world? What would give them the courage to be crazy unapologetically?
Yeah. Well, to answer that, number one, we don't know how the person is shackled. What
are the causes of them being shackled, being restricted, you may say, with whatever they
wanted to do. But my answer is going to be so cliche. I'm just going to say that whoever
you are listening right now, if you wanted to do something in your life, really wanted
to start an adventure, really thinking about it for a long time, man, just do it. Just
do it because we only live once. And in this world, you don't want to be in your olden
days, be old and say, oh, I wish I could have, I would have done that. And you know, live
a life with no regrets, always step a foot forward, not thinking, oh, what would happen
if I do this? Of course, don't do the legal stuff. But you know, work your heart out and
do whatever that fulfills you make you happy and try to make a difference in your life.
And simultaneously, like in other people's lives, because you don't know like what joy
you could bring to somebody else just by being you and doing what you love to do. And that
is my answer to your question, Aziz. I love that. I love the enthusiasm and the
energy and the wisdom you're sharing right now. And I will still ask a lot of people
train their brains to be somehow or maybe didn't even train it like the media and all
those things, train them to be negative, to worry about the worst case scenario. How do
you go for what you want? Live a crazy adventurous life without that anxiety that the worst thing
could happen or that could be, you know, some big devastating consequence because people
have the illusion that if they live a life within their comfort zone, they will be safe.
Although it is the biggest risk and the biggest regret. But they think, well, at least I'm
not being crazy because those people don't live long. They die fast and life becomes
super dangerous and all that. So how can you enjoy that fully without your brain playing
games with you telling you, oh, no, this could happen. That could happen.
Well, you hit a lot of good points there. Number one is the social media factors. So
nowadays everything can be seen on social media. So some some random content can make
you feel to believe that you shouldn't be doing things that you want to do because this
A, B and C consequences will happen. So the best solution for that is filter your social
media. If you feel like there's some negativity about the content, you know, just OK, this
might hurt some content creators, but if it's going to be for your better mental health,
just restrict your social media, unfollow, unfilter all the negativity and, you know,
follow more follow more inspirational videos out there. Now, your question is a case to
case scenario basis. So you ask, how will someone be able to trick their brains or train
their brains not to be afraid doing something crazy because they don't want to like, you
know, die at an early stage of their lives? What kind of a scenario are we thinking about
so I can have like more perspective on what I can say?
Something like if they think about bungee jumping or parachute jumping from an airplane
or even they think, oh, those people look cool. I wish to talk to them to make friends
with them, but they'll make fun of me and humiliate me in public and then my reputation
will be ruined or whatever people think that seems to them to be a life and death situation,
even if it really isn't. And that keeps them really limited and within their cocoons.
You mean like trying out extremes here? Well, when people call you crazy, what do they mean
really? Other than that, you do what most people in society, whatever it is, don't do.
And therefore, too many people, the shame or the embarrassment or people judging them
feels to them extreme by itself. Okay, well, the examples that you've given
are really valid. Like, for example, bungee jumping, skydiving, for example, those are
really cool, extreme stuff that not a lot of people would be thinking to do, but they
think that it's crazy and cool. Well, in that instance, number one is surround yourself
with people who you know will give you the courage to go for your goal. For example,
like you know, the extreme stuff, extreme sports, bungee jumping, and do some research
about it. Will your physical body be able to handle that? And I'm talking about, you
know, people with heart ailments, of course, there's a little bit of limitation when it
comes to medical perspectives. But if you're someone who's like, you know, fit to do it,
but are just shy and discouraged because of the stigma that comes along with trying new
stuff, then I would say, join a community that does whatever it is that you want to
do. There's a lot of forums on the internet, which is really cool. And you know, just get
in touch with them. They will help build up the courage in terms of that. And coming to
your question, like, what did I do to make my friends think that I'm crazy? Well, I'm
like, I'm a lot of stuff like number one, like the way I talk, sometimes I got no, I
got no filter. And I would just talk whatever comes to my brain, of course, except for like,
if I'm going to hurt someone that I would be tactical or tactful enough not to hurt
someone's feelings, if I know that that's something that could make them feel. And personally,
I love motorcycling. I got beaten up by my mom at a very young age, because I was I think
around 12 when I first got into motorcycling. I really love it. But everybody says no. Why?
Because my uncle, my late uncle passed away from it from driving drunk. So you know, there's
a lot of fear from family members and friends because they just want to be to you to be
safe. But as long as you're doing things safely, as long as you know how things work, and you've
done your research, everything will be cool. Just also make sure to provide reassurance
for your worrying friends or family that hey, I know how this thing should go. And they
should be fine. They should be calm and you on the other hand will be able whatever that
you want and need to do. And just go for it. You know, you only live once as they say so
YOLO. That's absolutely great. And I noticed specifically you said that you speak without
filter, although of course you are tactful to not hurt people's emotions and feelings.
What also to understand you? Imagine you could teach someone else to speak without filters
bravely and not worry about people's comments or what they will think. What within you gives
you the courage or the ability to speak without filters. Even at times you said about motorcycle,
you got into a lot of trouble with your mom. Still, it didn't change you. It didn't make
you stop being who you are. But many girls and women could be somehow traumatized by
it or they feel, oh, I cannot really be myself. I will have some like my mother will judge
me or other people will look at me funny because I have no filters. So what within you creates
this ability and courage to do it? First of all, to be able to have the courage to stand
up for what you believe in and to stand up for what you want to do. This is a very random
advice to you, other girls who are listening out there. But you've got to be stubborn sometimes.
As they say, when something doesn't work, try and try again until it does. And in this
case, yeah, I think that's that's what we as girls need to do. We've got to voice out
our opinions, exactly what we're doing here. So if you're in a situation where your parents
or your family members might be thinking, oh, if you do this, what will the neighbors
say then? You just got to stop caring, is what I would say. So what if you want to do
something that would improve your capabilities, your abilities? What if you do something that
is out of the norm, for example, if it's something not illegal, if it's something safe, if it's
something that you think that could inspire other people around you, why not? And when
you get this mindset that you really have to do this because you want it, you got to
speak up, stand for yourself and, you know, be really determined to push for it, no matter
what people around you say about it, no matter who or what is stopping you, just go for it.
You know, I like to make plans. For example, if I want to achieve something, let's say
I go, got to make a plan, a diagram, step-by-step process on how to get there. So in this one,
you also got to put contingency plans. Like for example, if my mom doesn't allow me to
go motorcycling, what would I do then? So first I would put on my list, okay, I got
to learn how to do it properly, not to fall. And then I would tell my mom, hey, I know
how to do this. And then next step, okay, I'll show my mom that I can. And then, you
know, after that, get a license or whatever. And then by then, whoever is stopping you
from doing what you got to do will slowly understand. They would slowly stop caring
of their own opinions, that this is dangerous, this is safe, this is whatever, because they
would want, if they're really your true friends, and if they're really, you know, the family
that would like you to improve and be who you are, eventually everything will fall in
place and you will be a free soul and be free to do whatever you want in this life.
I love that. I do encourage all women to be truly themselves, to be a free soul, to share
their voices, their thoughts, their perspectives freely and loudly. You mentioned something,
making a plan, making contingencies. At the same time, how do you end up in your life?
Because I believe that it wasn't really a plan when you went to culinary arts school
to end up a stretch, you know, coach. So how does it go? Because a lot of women, maybe
if they studied a lot of girls' culinary arts, they think, oh, it's a safe choice. Let me
work in that field. Maybe I love to be a trainer or a stretch coach, but I don't have the qualifications.
I already invested so many years into this other field. How did you get the courage to
change? What motivated you? And what is your advice maybe to other girls who could be doing
something they don't love, but they're afraid that, oh, I don't know what will happen if
I change? Really good question Aziz. Well, let me tell
you something about my youth. OK, when I was younger, I really didn't think things through.
In my culture, like how I was raised is you study primary school, high school, then go
into university, graduate, get a good job and keep working until you can, you know,
eventually retire and then just retire, do whatever you want then. And then that's it.
So what I would like to say in this day and age is, of course, you got to study. I mean,
that's what our parents would strive for, to see us graduate and everything. But don't
limit yourself into that mindset. You can start a business, you can be your own entrepreneur
and just follow your dreams. Well, when I was in college, I really didn't like mathematics.
OK, I wanted to be a lawyer when I was in primary school, then it changed. I wanted
to be an engineer then. But when I saw the the we were having an exam. Yeah. So when
we're having an exam, we get to pick three choices. So first I chose mechanical engineer,
then electrical engineer. And then I was like, oh, I got one more choice. What do I pick?
And then let me pick something that math. And there it is culinary art. So I put that
in the choices. Got my exam. I got qualified to take whichever of the three that I want.
And then I kind of, you know, thought about, oh, well, I survived five years of all the
mathematics down the road. And I was like, oh, I want to be chill in college. Let me
choose the culinary arts. And I graduated. And, you know, in life, everyone, ladies,
everything changes at some point like you, as your personality grows, you can change
as a person. You can change as a person, which will eventually change your decisions in life
because you might not know something right now that you might come to learn about later
and really like and really strive for as a profession as a business. And you know, things
change. And accordingly, you don't have to stick to like one single plan in life, your
plans could change, but you just gotta do it method methodologically, like step by step.
So how I ended up as a personal trainer is I saw the value that being a coach puts in
my life, as well as helping other people's lives. So compared to being a chef, being
an admin, you know, I figured out that I could help people more by being a coach and really,
you know, get into their personal goals, like what they want to achieve health wise, because
you know, especially right now, after the pandemic, everybody's worried about their
health. And every every video, every workout routine out there is popping up on the internet.
And me as someone who really studied the anatomy of the human body, how things work, if you've
got a medical illness or some something that is a condition that is restricting you from
being healthy, then I want to be there for you. So this perspective, this, like, gratification
satisfaction that I get for helping other people be a healthier, healthier version of
themselves is what made me realize that, oh, I'd rather be a coach than a chef, or an admin.
So this is what I figured out. So this is what I was talking about earlier, find something
that you know, you can do while putting, like value and significance to yourself and also
radiating that to the people around you. And that's how my plan changed. And that's how
I became a stretch coach at the moment as these Thank you, you had such a varied and
interesting life story and life path. And to ask you now, you're living in Dubai. How
is your experience of that city? Is it to you a city where you have a lot of kabayan?
You have a lot of the Filipinos and it feels like a part, a foreign part of the Philippines?
Or is it hectic? Or are you too much at work that it doesn't matter where you are? Or how
is the experience your adaptation going from Philippines to Dubai?
Thank you for that question. I guess you lived in Dubai too, right Aziz?
Yes. Yeah. Well, I've been here for quite well over
eight years now. And I would say that it is one of the safest and cleanest cities that
I've lived in. And that's something that you would like everyone would easily adapt to.
I also lived in South Korea prior. And I think living abroad is just really, you know, the
adaptation of a living somewhere foreign depends on the individual itself. For me, you got
to enjoy what is around you because you'll never know until when you'll get to stay in
the place. So for me, Dubai is really cool. A lot of people there's a stigma in when it
comes to Dubai that Oh, everything is artificial. Everything is fake. But you know what, it
doesn't matter. Like everywhere, every everyone, every every country is building buildings
and you wouldn't call that natural with you. So even though everything you would say is
artificial, I think that the government really put their hearts out to make sure that everyone
who's living here in Dubai would have a great experience, safe surroundings. They're thinking
about the expats, like how would they be able to live comfortably around here. And I think
that's one of the best qualities of living in Dubai. Okay, honestly, when I used to work
as an admin, I overtime a lot. So I didn't really get to enjoy much of the places a lot.
But if you're in Dubai, if you've got time, you know, you got to explore the things out
here. And if you're a party girl like me, this is the best place to go. Because, you
know, you can party hard all night, get home 3am, it's still gonna be safe transportation
is everywhere. The streets are very well lit. So you don't have to worry about you know,
being in harm, being in danger. And you know, the police is just one call away, they respond
very quickly as well. So I think overall living in Dubai had been the best, like eight years
of my life so far.
I'm so happy for you. And to end this, from your experience after the pandemic, and all
that situation, and like you said, a lot of people worried for their life, their health,
some people reconsider their future, and how to live. What is some piece of advice or a
lesson you learned or anything you can share with other women and other people in the world
you feel will help them live in a more interesting or in a better way?
Okay, thank you for that question. So my perspective on that is if you want to start living a healthier
life, and if you think right now it's like, far away from your goal, I would say don't
get into being a gym rat straight away. Don't push yourself too hard. I know what I'm telling
you right now might sound discouraging because someone would normally say, okay, push. Okay,
let's go. Let's be healthy. Stop eating junk food, whatever, blah, blah, blah. But my advice
to you is take it slow. Like you don't change in your body will not happen in a few days,
in a few weeks. But yes, it will in a few months, but you got to give it time because
your body will adapt slowly. You shouldn't shock the body because if you do, you'll feel
even worse, I would say than you would feel worse than you already do. And so take it
easy on your body. Take it. So if you want to go into a diet plan or something and cut
down on eating out, cut down on junk food, you got to take it. So maybe remove like one
junk food or like maybe chips in a day, like so, but like don't completely eliminate everything
because that would set you to failure. So take it slow. And when it comes to working
out, there's tons of training methods out there. Find what you enjoying the most, whether
it's dancing, whether it's like bodybuilding, whether it's flexibility trading, find what
you enjoy, find what you feel most comfortable doing so that you can stick to it long-term
and it will then become a lifestyle. It will become a habit and it will lead you to be
a better person a year from today. And that's my advice to all of you who want to go into
to all of you who are planning to get healthier and live a free moving life out there. Thank
you so much A for your perspective, for this insightful conversation, for sharing your
truth and your life. I wish you success. I wish you a glorious and happy 2023. And thank
you for participating in this project. And thank you so much Aziz. You've done really
well. Thank you for making this project happen. And for all of you who are listening, continue
listening to the episodes, really insightful opinions from other ladies out there. And
thank you Aziz. I hope success for you as well and a wonderful life ahead best 2023.
And you have a wonderful day or evening everyone.
