Episode Transcript
Hello, my name is Aziz and I'm the son of a divorced mother.
She is really my superhero, that's why it's important for me to support women to share
their uniqueness, their personalities, perspectives, and emotions about this world.
In these difficult times in human history, we need to bring the people of the world together.
And when we hear the voices of women, when we listen to real lives of women from other
countries, we connect our cultures without differences or stereotypes, and we get inspired
by their stories to live a better life.
That's what this podcast is all about.
My guest today is Gulbegim Rahim Jonova.
Gulbegim is from Horok, Tajikistan.
She received a scholarship to go to Aga Khan Academy in Kenya and graduated this year.
She took a gap year working at finance right now and plans to study business administration.
Gulbegim enjoys singing, football, and reading.
She has been involved in many many things and, for example, had a new uni prep course in Horok.
She is involved with football and environment CAS in Mombasa, Girl Up, Peace Summit, as well
as mental health workshops.
Gulbegim, how are you today?
I'm doing good, thank you.
How are you?
I'm happy and honored and privileged to have you here and I'm very curious about you as
a person, so I'll begin with this nice first question.
If your friends, the people who know you best, could describe your personality, what would
they say about you?
I think the first thing that everybody would say would be caring because I think I come
off as a kind person in general and spontaneous.
I like to do random things all the time, like I like to try out new stuff like different
dance choreographies, I go for football tournaments or whether if there are different events,
I make sure to participate in them.
I think those two things would describe me very well.
Thank you and I would love to explore your caring side, especially a little bit of the
potential negativity when sometimes you can care too much.
For some people, they don't reciprocate, it feels disappointing.
Is this a problem that you have encountered or are you so happy to make other people happy
that it doesn't matter?
The pleasure isn't pleasing.
Yeah, I definitely enjoyed making people happy.
But yeah, I've learned a lot, I've learned to set boundaries throughout the years because
I used to be a people pleaser, as you said, sometimes it's not good to always be good
and to always say yes.
I learned to set boundaries and decide what I was okay with and what I wasn't okay with
even though sometimes it upset people.
If they were late, I'd say, next time you're late, I wouldn't come to this event or just
things that weren't okay with me, I'd make sure that I wasn't going to do the same thing
and I wasn't going to be kind when they're not respecting me.
And I learned to say no to things like to prioritize myself because I have to take care
of myself too and I can't always say yes.
So that was definitely hard to deal with but I'm really glad the person I have become today,
I think I have good boundaries, I no longer people please and I'm okay with, I don't feel
guilty anymore whenever somebody gets upset by something that I couldn't do for them.
And I'm really grateful for that growth.
That's really interesting and very inspirational.
And therefore, I would like to talk about the other side of your personality that you
go for all the possible events and opportunities you can, you try many things.
What motivates you to seize the day and to try everything you can rather than stay in
your comfort zone?
I think honestly, it has always just been a part of me.
Ever since I was a kid, I used to film different movies, I used to go for dancing, I used to
sing at school events.
I guess it's just been a part of me my whole life but I think it's very important to always
gain new experiences, new knowledge, just to live this life fully.
Live as much as you can, enjoy as much as you can and learn as much as you can.
I think the point of life is really to learn and see as much as we can.
And it's really interesting to look at new things, even though sometimes it's a little
scary to get out of your comfort zone.
But I think it's so worth it to live this life, like not to be scared and not to let
your limiting beliefs or fears hold you back from anything.
It's just worth it.
I agree 100%.
And now that you're back in Tajikistan, did you feel some kind of reverse culture shock
that you are living in Mombasa in a different culture?
What did you notice that seemed to be unusual, although you're used to it back home, that
living abroad brought to your attention, made you aware of and noticed compared to before
when you were living in it totally?
I think there's a lot of differences between Tajikistan, our mindset in general and Mombasa.
I think the music is very cool, like the Afro beats and everything, the culture, the clothes,
everything that was amazing.
And in Tajikistan, we have different sort of dances that are more slow and more longer
clothes and stuff.
So I think that's a big difference.
But also, I think the fact that in Mombasa, it's like girls can be very loud, everybody
can be very loud, everybody can be different or that's how it was in our school.
And over here in Tajikistan, girls who are quiet are more valued.
And I don't know, it's kind of harder to say your opinion.
And I don't think that's a good thing in some sort.
Although people are very kind, but yeah, that's a difference.
I noticed that that's a bit hard over here because a lot of the times, especially guys
like in different camps I was, they were saying I'm very opinionated and they were just getting
mean because I share too much of my opinion and I don't agree with some of the things
that they say.
I'm very much so for feminism, so I say my opinions on that a lot.
So I get into a few arguments with many people over here.
That's really, really interesting to you since you said you share your opinion about feminism.
What are some of the things you believe should be changed, should be improved that maybe
some people find to be controversial?
In general, I think, well, Pamiris are generally good people.
So I think generally women are very respected in our culture, in our country.
But I think it's just how girls should be quiet and girls should be submissive.
Girls shouldn't talk too much, shouldn't go out too much.
And those girls aren't liked a lot.
That's something I really wish could change over here.
So it is quite, it's pretty good over here.
Girls do go out, girls are very free, but just that mindset on it.
And also the fact that you can't get married to other cultures.
I think that's also been a big issue here.
Yeah, I think those are the things that I don't agree with how women shouldn't lead
and they're usually under, there are many times underestimated in different things that
we do.
But guys are usually taking leadership, even though girls are also able to do it in many
aspects, they are more competent.
And I think that should be more appreciated and not underestimated much.
I agree with you 1000%.
And it makes me think since you spoke about you desiring and encouraging girls to take
more leadership roles.
You want to study business administration, which is also about being a woman who is a
leader in business.
How did this desire come to be?
Why the interest in finance and business?
What goals does it help you accomplish?
Tell me the story.
I've wanted to become a business woman ever since I was small also for some reason.
Like I always wanted to, when I was small, I wanted to own a chocolate factory though.
But then as I grew up, in class we were always asked, what do we want to be?
And I always said business woman, even though most of the girls in our class said nurses.
So I guess I always liked it.
But even now I find it very empowering.
Those are the people I look up to.
Some people look up to dancers because they're so elegant and they're so smooth and cool.
I look up to business women who I think are so inspirational, so powerful, so brave to
make different decisions and to go for new things.
You know, they've overcome their limiting beliefs, their fears, and they are constantly
taking different risks.
And I think that's really great.
And yeah, I think it would be a great path for me to take as a woman.
And yeah, I would like to make different changes.
I would also like to show that as a woman, I can achieve a lot of things and I'm capable
of very many different things, just like men are.
And I also find business very fun.
Like I'm a lot into math.
Also I enjoy math.
I enjoy finance as I work at finance right now.
And I enjoy economics.
I enjoy marketing.
Like I've read a lot of books on how to sell and all these stories of different millionaires.
So that's why I'm very excited to become a business woman.
Thank you.
And you said you find it empowering.
Can you speak a bit more about that?
That when you feel empowered, how does that bring you happiness and joy?
Especially like you said earlier on, you're a very caring kind of person, which sometimes
in the minds of people is opposite to being empowered and a leader and a boss.
How do you reconcile both?
How are both connected?
Do you feel that the more strong strengths, leadership, empowerment you have, the more
you can care for people and help them?
Or are you a Gemini or something with two personalities that come up depending on the
need or how does it work?
In fact, yeah, my zodiac sign is a Gemini.
But I think it's actually really important for both of these to come together because
a lot of the times when people think about business people, especially my family and
people who live during the USSR, they think of people who are greedy and people who love
money so much they do anything.
And I don't like how that's the bias that's around it.
I think it's so important to be an ethical person who is of service to people and who
does business.
Business doesn't have to be harsh.
I guess of course you have to be brave, you have to be strong, but you don't necessarily
have to be mean or do bad things.
I think a lot of people tell me that, but I'm pretty sure I can be a boss.
I believe in myself and I also think you can be ethical and kind as well as be a really
strong business woman.
And I think it's important for the both of them to be together.
I love that.
That's the future of capitalism is a very important description and series of trades.
And to explore you even more currently, you're not in Mombasa, you're back home.
How do you get inspired?
What I mean is what do you do to recharge your energies, fill yourself with motivation
and feel very good so that you don't burn out or you don't feel too restricted?
What do you do there in order to feel good and alive?
Oh yeah, I love to make sure I always feel alive and just feel happy.
I have, well, firstly, I'm a very religious person.
So I pray and I read religious books, which helps me a lot.
And I try to remember every day that life is good and religion in general.
And I also have routines, like I have a morning routine where I write on my diary, I write
to-do list, I do meditation, I exercise.
And then at night I just do some self-care.
I listen to music or just dance for like 10 minutes.
I think these routines really help me and I make sure I'm not on my phone for too long
because I think that kind of makes sure they not go well.
So these really help me and I go for sports and different events that happen.
Like today, it snowed and I went out with my friends for like two hours who just went
around, took pictures, had fun.
I just feel like those things come up every day.
There's just so much beauty in every day.
Different things come up and I make sure that I go for them.
And yeah, that helps to just make my life lively and joyful.
I encourage that very, very, very much.
It's absolutely wonderful.
And you spoke about being a religious kind of person.
What do you feel or believe about your future?
Do you believe in destiny or do you believe you create everything in your life, in your
future based on your decisions and therefore it's good or bad based on what you chose to
do or how do you approach the future and keep your hopes up using your religious side?
I believe that you can create all you want.
From my religious side, I think it's actually easier than people think to create what you
want.
I believe in energy and just what you want comes to life.
I believe in constant blessings pouring on you when you're open to them and when you're
trying also.
But I think you just have the power to create all that you want in this beautiful place
with your five senses and yeah, that's how I approach it and I approach life as a gift
where we can do a lot of things.
Thank you.
And again, to ask you even more, in the future, you plan to study business administration.
You probably will go to a new city, maybe a new country.
You've experienced it before in Mombasa, but maybe you were younger so it was easier.
But what's your advice for people who go to a new place they don't know anyone so that
they don't stay alone, they make good friends rather than superficial acquaintances and
feel like they belong in the new place and build bonds?
I think the number one thing that's really important is to remember that everybody has
a different worldview.
This is actually what my personal statement was about and also this book I read, Psychology
of Money, it was about how people have experienced different things that were equally convincing.
So to always remember that people have a different worldview and to accept that, not allow your
disagreements to come in between your relationships.
Like right now, even with my grandparents, for example, whenever we talk or have different
discussions or anything, it's really hard because we just don't understand each other
even if the arguments are good.
So just to remember that it's okay to disagree, even theirs are in some context their opinions.
So just make sure to leave that behind and build on the relationship, build on whatever
is working.
Like if you have gym buddies, go with them to the gym or party buddies.
Just build the bonds around what you like and what you share and don't get too caught
up in things that are different.
You don't have to agree on everything.
And try out new things, try out what they might like.
Even though you think you might not like it, just try it out, go with them.
Try even if you're scared.
Thank you.
And as a girl born and raised in Horog in the part where most people are Pamirian, can
you describe to people who don't know much, just a little bit of an introduction about
who are Pamirian people?
What is their culture?
What makes them different than other people in Tajikistan or other parts of the world?
How would you convey just a little bit, of course, it's much more complex of an introductory
glimpse of the culture?
Our culture is very rich.
I'd say we have a lot of beliefs that have been passed on from generations to generations.
Firstly, we're very kind people.
We're very hospitable.
We value our guests a lot.
We're kind to people who come from outside or even our neighbors.
People could literally come for salt to your house and that would be okay.
We always make sure to take care of our neighbors and our relatives.
We're not people who live alone.
It's very important to respect elders, to take care of your neighbors.
And I think that's really beautiful in our culture.
And even in the car, for example, the driver will call you his daughter.
To me, it's so heartwarming to feel like at home.
Everybody's so kind or if outside anything happens, somebody would stand up for you.
And everybody just considers each other brothers and sisters.
And I think that's something so special and so heartwarming, honestly.
Yeah, those are some of our values.
We also value bread a lot because in our history, at some point in time, we were out of food
and then our husband and mom brought us a lot of wheat.
So we value bread a lot.
So even when we were in Mombasa, whenever we'd see bread, we'd pick it up.
And our classmates, so many people in Mombasa now know about it.
We have a lot of values and beliefs and we believe in kindness a lot and in unity.
That seems really, really wonderful.
And to finish, you mentioned that you try to not stay on your phone a lot.
Nowadays, a lot of girls are negatively influenced by social media.
They feel somehow low confident, low self-esteem, a bit depressed because they see some photoshopped
girls who seem to look perfect and they think, oh my God, I don't look like her.
So I think I'm ugly or they see people who are very successful and they think they will
never be as successful as that.
What do you do to keep your mental health in check?
And what's your advice for some girls that could be struggling with this?
Yes, I think that is such a great issue how lives are portrayed completely differently
on social media.
It seems as if everybody's happy and you're the only one who's not happy or everybody's
so picture perfect.
Everybody's life is picture perfect and you're the only one who is not enjoying and you start
comparing yourself.
I think everybody should remember to never compare their lives or themselves to anyone
and just to be happy with what you have and create whatever you want.
Just to really believe in abundance no matter what, I think it's really important.
And staying on your phone, you can't really feel anyone's energy through the phone.
So I think people should remember that and not build too many relationships online or
and try to go out and yeah, I think that's it.
Thank you so much Gulbegim.
This was my privilege, my honor to have you participate in this project.
Your insights are very, very valuable.
I wish you the best in your future business administration studies and your business career
and thank you again so much for participating.
You're welcome.
Thank you so much for this opportunity.
It was really nice talking to you and sharing our opinions.
Thank you all.
