Episode Transcript
Hello, my name is Aziz and I'm the son of a divorced mother. She is really my superhero.
That's why it's important for me to support women to share their uniqueness, their personalities,
their perspectives, and emotions about this world. In these difficult times in human history,
we need to bring the people of the world together. And when we hear the voices of women, when
we listen to real lives of women from other countries, we connect our cultures without
differences or stereotypes and we get inspired by their stories to live a better life. That's
what this podcast is all about. My guest today is Leila Kudrat. Originally
from Tajikistan, Leila is a student at University of Debrecen, Hungary. Leila is a FlexExchange
Program alumna of 2020, hosted in Colorado Springs, CEO, and a full scholarship recipient
in Hungary with Stipendium Hungarikum. Leila loves making videos for YouTube and learning
Japanese. Leila, how are you today? I am doing pretty well, although the weather
is not that well here in Hungary today, but it's okay. Not that bad. How are you?
I'm feeling positive. I hope that this podcast and experience will be the ray of sunshine
in your day or in your week. And therefore, I'll begin by this question, which I think
is a nice question to know more about you, and it is. If your friends and the people
who know you best and love you could describe your personality, what would they say about
you? Okay, thank you. I think if my friends were
to describe me, they would probably say that I'm loving first and I'm somebody they could
rely on because I'm a type of a friend whom you can call at 2 a.m. and I'll come and rescue.
So I hope they think the same way. But yeah, this is what I think.
Thank you. That sounds interesting and I'm curious. Is this a trace of your culture where
you grew up in an environment where people prioritized helping each other, supporting
each other, so you have that attitude ingrained or maybe from your parents? Or is it because
you had some difficult times where nobody really helped you and you thought, I want
to be that good person who helps others and is there for them so that I show myself and
the world there are more good people left in this universe? Which one was your experience
and tell me more. Well, I would say that definitely when it
comes to family, because I grew up in a family where we really like helping others was a
priority and my mom is a nurse. So that's also obvious that she's helping. And I kind
of learned that from my family. And also, I would say that the cultural world, Tajikistan
is a very small country. But when it comes to just growing up, having friends, when you
have friends in Tajikistan, I don't know about others, but usually my group of friends, we
grew up really like supporting and helping each other. And the third thing that you talked
about, well, I wouldn't say that growing up, I was going through, you know, yeah, of course,
there were some tough times in my past, but that's definitely not the issue. I guess it's
most probably because of the community and people around me that made me that way.
Thank you. And I'm happy to share about Tajikistan, although it's a small country, a lot of people
might have tangentially heard about it or not at all, or don't know any person from
Tajikistan. So if you could share a little bit, what is the culture of Tajikistan? How
is it different and unique in Central Asia? And how different is it to the US where you
had the experience there as well as Hungary? Well, I would say that Tajikistan is small.
Yeah, definitely. But Tajikistan is more about people. It's more about humanity. It's more
about helping each other, like, you know, getting each other's back when it's needed.
Really depends on where you grow up. For example, in the larger cities, for example, the capital,
which is Dushanbe, the smaller cities like Khujand or other like Kolob. But for example,
in the smaller villages, in the smaller communities, everybody knows each other, even in the larger
like, you know, for example, growing up, if I was sick or my mom was sick, we always had
neighbors who would come and help because everybody is trying to help each other. It's
a community of, it's a loving community. And of course, there were a lot of differences
when I traveled to the United States, where people are more individualistic rather than
team workers. And in the society of the US, of course, you learn a lot about just being
on your own. But in Tajikistan, you're always, you don't feel like you're alone. There are
always people who are there to support wherever you go. For example, you go to the hospital,
you will definitely meet people that you know, or you go to the bank and there are definitely
people who you know and who might help with your issue and stuff like that. And also,
I guess Tajikistan is a community where people are, you know, comfortable dancing and sharing
the culture and food. And it's a country where you can, for instance, go to a random house
and nobody will, you know, nobody will tell you, hey, like leave. Of course, for example,
there are some holidays, like some religious holidays or just some holidays. One of them
called it Navrooz. It's a New Year holiday in Central Asian communities. And if you go
to somebody else's house, even if you don't know them, they will accept you. They will
feed you in. Yeah, I guess it's more about community, community based. I love Tajikistan
and honestly, wherever I go, it doesn't matter if I'm in Europe or I'm in the United States.
It's always, home is always the best. And I always feel like it's the best country in
the world for my, like, you know, in my opinion, because that's my country. But yeah, if you
guys, wherever I want to travel to Tajikistan, because in comparison to other Central Asian
countries, Tajikistan is so small. People usually think that, oh, Tajikistan, for example,
because we share borders with Afghanistan, people in the United States thought that we
still have war. And I told them that we don't have any wars. Like you're always welcome.
It's free. And so there are some misconceptions about Tajikistan, but it's definitely really
good. Thank you. That sounds really interesting. And again, this podcast is about peace in
the world. It's about sharing the uniqueness of every woman as well as connecting cultures.
So I recommend to everybody to visit Tajikistan, to learn about it, to understand it. But in
your case, can you tell me why you're interested in learning Japanese? Maybe you're interested
in the culture because the Japanese culture is a lot more introverted and closed compared
to what you described in Tajikistan. It's not appropriate, I don't think, because of
the protocols and the traditions, just to walk in and do whatever you want and go into
people's houses, etc. in Japan. So what is the connection? How is it related? Okay. Well,
it's probably because yeah, I really like Japanese culture because yeah, although I'm
coming from that community, I am pretty introverted lately. So I like the culture of that, but
also Japan as a country, because as a country, Japan is very developed and in terms of industry,
in terms of society, in terms of overall politics and the country, I like Japan. And well, one
of the reasons I'm learning Japanese is I'm planning to get my master's degree there.
So this is the main reason why I'm learning Japanese. I know that there are a lot of people
out there that are interested in the cartoon anime culture and stuff. I'm not really interested
in that stuff. I just am planning to pursue there my degree. I'm not thinking that I'll
be leaving there for a long term, probably just go there, pursue my degree and then continue
to a different country. But yes, yes, it's just for my degree.
I understand. And that's really, really interesting. And can you tell me a bit more about the culture
of Tajikistan, because it seems a lot of Tajik women, a lot of Tajik girls are able to travel
abroad, to study abroad without much restrictions. But at the same time, part of the culture
is more traditional and conservative. So how is the state of women's rights or how women
are treated and their ability to study abroad, to be free in the country? How are they now?
Well, when it comes to overall women in my society, I would say that it's not that free
in terms of girls in education. Of course, it's getting better day by day, but it's still
not every parent allows their daughters to travel abroad and to study. It's sometimes
really hard. Even for instance, we'll give a personal example here. I studied with my
classmates for 11 years of my life because our school is usually we study from first
to 11th grade together. And I would say that probably 80% of my classmates are married
now and have children. And this is the culture where you just people mostly not letting the
girls study abroad. But nowadays there are so many girls that are showing that they can
do better and probably convince their parents to study abroad and all that stuff. But I
will just say for myself, my family is very open to studying abroad. My mom studied abroad
and my dad used to study abroad. So I think this is something that my parents always wanted.
But the problem was that my parents wanted, my mom wanted me to study in Russia, which
is the closest one. And also I speak Russian and I grew up in the Russian community. And
in 11th grade when I got accepted to the exchange program called Flex, my mom didn't first at
first let me to go to the US because of course she was scared. I'm just to share here I'm
an only child. So and my mom was really scared for me. She was like, how will you travel
to like United States like because they're from post Soviet Union countries. So they
have different views and different visions about America and Europe and everything. So
yeah, I had some battles with my mom on this and I had I had to convince her and it took
me a couple of months because America there was a big challenge because I got a full scholarship
for four years of my life to study in Russia. However, you know, US it was just one year
and you don't like there were no anything like after I didn't know where will I go and
yeah, but I would say that it's getting better. Of course, it's really hard in rural areas.
Like sometimes I'm a very emotional person. And sometimes when my like, you know, I see
people girls that are very smart, who are much smarter than me who speak better English
than me who are much like better than me, but the parents just didn't let them to travel
or they didn't let them to study. They just made an arranged marriage and all that stuff
and they're really sometimes, you know, like, just it makes me sad that we still live in
the society or in bigger cities. Of course, it's getting great. It's getting people are
letting their daughters to study abroad. And I like this situation. Like I was also going
through your podcast and seeing so many really inspirational girls that was like, that's
amazing that these girls made it. But there's so many girls out there who are better than
us. But for like, you know, this kind of reasons, they're just they don't have anything they
cannot do anything. So they're forced to marry, they're forced to stay at home, they're forced
to do the things that they don't want to do. So this is, I think, one of the problems in
our society that are still needs to be addressed.
I understand and that really breaks my heart and I hope and I wish for every woman to have
the opportunities open to her to live to her full potential and create everything possible
for her and to understand even more about you as a person as an as a girl. How do you
spend your day? How do you get your inspiration? How much time do you spend studying? Do you
have time to take care of your mental health to avoid burnout? What is a typical day for
a girl from Tajikistan who is living now in Hungary, studying abroad?
Okay, thank you. That's an interesting one. I would say that I have a very busy day because
I I work full time and I study full time. So these are two things that I that are in
my life. But the typical day would be I wake up really early. So it should be around like
6 a.m., maybe a little early. I try to go on morning walks. This is something that is
helping me to, you know, like avoid mental like breakdowns and burnouts because I've
been going last year and during COVID, I've been going through a lot of like burnouts
and mental breakdowns. And yeah, I had I have this habit of walking in the morning. And
yeah, then I come home. I if there is school, I go to school and I study there. I come from
school and I work. I work in a logistics company. So it's mostly working with all my computer
on my laptop. And just want to mention here that my major in university is programming
related. So I'm mostly on my laptop. And yes, I work late at night. Most probably my work
finishes at around 12 to 1 a.m. And then I sleep in between. Of course, I have time to
study. But yeah, my typical day is very busy and chaotic, I would say. But I think that
I'm able to control and I'm able to manage everything as up to now. But usually right
now I'm on my holidays and finally relaxing. But it's usually really busy. And all my free
time. I sometimes, you know, I make YouTube videos that's on my free time. And I like
to read books mostly psychologically. It's like, you know, psychological books or stuff
about like developing yourself, improving yourself in a better way. And yeah, and that's
probably my typical day. And about studying, I would say that it's really hard for me because
growing up, I always thought that I'll become a politician. And this was my main goal. I
always wanted to become a diplomat and studying political sphere. But life is life. And it
turned out that I'm studying programming now. And it's very hard sometimes because I'm not
good at math. At least let's say that I wasn't good at math. And now it's a lot of work for
me to study math and to program. But yeah, like nowadays I can say that I really got
much better in this sphere. But yeah, that's my day. Thank you for sharing. That's really
interesting. And to understand you even more as a person and as a girl, you love making
YouTube videos. There are many women in this world and girls who feel a bit shy or not
confident enough. They worry and think, wow, if I post something and some people write
mean comments, it will discourage me. It will break my heart. So they never dare because
they worry about the criticism of others. What attitude or mindset do you have that
allows you to enjoy publishing, sharing your work without fear of any potential criticism?
Oh, thank you. Thank you for that question. Well, starting with I would say that I started
my YouTube channel really, you know, just out of the blue. I was just sitting doing
nothing and decided to make a video and posted it. And I would like I don't I won't say that
I have many followers on my YouTube, but I feel like I'm doing some impact right now.
But when I started, it was just for fun. And then I saw that it was gaining some popularity.
I remember when I hit my first K for a thousand like views, I was shocked. I was amazed. But,
you know, about the haters, I would say that, of course, there are haters in everyone's lives.
It doesn't matter. It's either on social media or in life. I don't know. But I'm usually OK.
There are times when I for example, there are different types of hates. There are really
constructive hates. For example, a person could say, hey, I didn't like your video because the
sound was bad. OK, perfect. I got the lesson. I got my lesson. I'll try to improve that in the
next video. Or a person can say, hey, for example, your lightning sucks. OK, I will try to fix the
lightning. But of course, there is some hate like, hey, just it's bad. Like, OK, well,
or there's some people that do the personal like, you know, like say something personal.
I usually I don't know, maybe it's a bit egoistic, but I always think that
this kind of people, if they're not like, you know, if they would be like really like if they
would be people who are well-educated or people who are really like wanting something good in
their lives, why would they sit around and hate other people? Like, don't they have other things
to do? And this kind of stuff, I usually I don't know. I don't take things personal.
It's a bit about my character. I am a person who is most probably because it's the cultural as
well. I think it's not about Tajikistan, but the whole Asian culture where people kind of grow up
in this kind of negativity and this kind of things are obvious. For example, I will say like here,
for example, when I'm here in Europe or when I'm in the US, I'm not really worried what I wear,
you know, or like I can wear whatever to school or to university or to just go outside and nobody
will say a thing. But when I go to Tajikistan and, for example, wear something that is like,
for example, I'll just go outside with like, I don't know, without the makeup on and you still
like you will hear the comments like from your, even your relatives, your neighbors
or what's happening. Like, oh, you have like, I don't know, eye bags or you have that and you
have this and this kind of things. And I think growing up in this kind of like community and
overall it's an Asian overall thing. I think I'm just okay. Like people can say whatever. So
I'm okay with like this kind of stuff. We will always have like haters in our life and that's
normal. I love your attitude. It's absolutely fantastic. And to ask you even more, because you
had a diverse life experience, you lived on three continents as well as the virtual world, to ask
you, is there a lesson or something that you like to keep in mind or you feel more people should be
aware of that will impact their lives or give them a different perspective or more happiness?
Something that if you can share with other girls you feel will add value?
Well, I would say that, you know, I'm currently in a moment of changing and growing up and I
think everybody is in like ages of 19, 20. I'm currently 21, turning 22 soon. I would say that
after the pandemic and after like everything happening around the world right now, and my
lesson would be just trust, trust the process. I'm a strong believer of God and I really trust
him and his way. So I feel like if we trust God more in our lives and trust the process and trust
the way, I think life can become much better, especially in this uneasy times. One of the
things probably I learned is to not land ahead because we know that, like I remember I used to
have plans for five years, for like 10 years, for a month, for two months, but then you realize that
some of these plans might not come true. And now especially in this fast growing world, everything
can ruin in one day and we never know what's going to happen. So probably not to rush, not to plan
ahead and to just trust the process and the girls that are trying to, for example, also study
abroad or just live a better life, I guess just start working on it because if you don't work
in it, nobody will help you there. Because especially in our society and our culture,
whether the girls, they need to rely on themselves if they want to, for example, study abroad even.
Yeah, I would say trust the process, don't plan ahead and trust God and His plan for your life
and everything will be great. Thank you, Leila. It was my privilege and my honor to have you in this
podcast to share your voice, your experience, your life. I hope that it inspires more girls to,
like you said, for example, you spend two months convincing your mother about going to the US so
they don't give up and know that they can convince others and change their situation. Again, it's my
privilege and my honor to have you here. I wish you success, a wonderful year and thank you again.
Thank you very much. I'm also very thankful for this opportunity. Always happy to share my
experience and yeah, thank you very much for doing such a great job of inspiring girls and
for this amazing podcast. Thank you.
