E263 Anna Rohanova

Hello, my name is Aziz and I'm the son of a divorced mother. She is really my superhero. That's why it's important for me to support women to share their uniqueness, their personalities, perspectives and emotions about this world. In these difficult times in human history, we need to bring the people of the world together. And when we hear the voices of women, when we listen to real lives of women from other countries, we connect our cultures without differences or stereotypes, and we get inspired by their stories to live a better life. That's what this podcast is all about. My guest today is Anna Rohanova. Anna is a Ukrainian girl from Donetsk, studying a Bachelor of Business Administration at Kyiv Leuven, Belgium. Anna is currently very focused on finishing her degree and also in the process of getting a nutritionist certification. She also plans on getting a coach certification because she is in love with sports and in particular lifting weights in the gym. She has been doing it for almost 2 years and she progressed to quite high weights. Her most impressive personal records are 285.5 kg on a leg press and 160 kg on hip thrust. Anna wants to help people get stronger and happier in the future through sports. Anna, how are you today? Thank you, I'm very good. How are you? I feel blessed. I feel very lucky to speak to you right now and so curious about you as a person. So I will begin with this nice first question. Anna, if the people who know you best, your friends, could describe your personality, what would they say about you? I would say that they would describe me as resistant and resilient and strong. Because throughout the last, I would say eight years, I had a lot of problems that I couldn't influence in any way. I had like a war in Donetsk and a war in Ukraine. I have like several losses in my family and it was very harsh on me. But regardless of this fact, I always was focused on my goals and I was trying to make my life better regardless of the current factors in my life and current problems. Something like that. I love that. I find people that had difficult lives, they become more interesting and more wise. So I salute you for that. And let's generalize it. Imagine there are girls listening and watching who either are going through hard times or they're worried they will go through hard times. What would be your advice for them to find their strength and to be resilient? I mean, sounds a little bit kind of weird because honestly, I didn't do this personally myself. But I would honestly really advise people to get help because I didn't do that when I had my troubles. And right now I really struggle with emotional understanding my emotions. And I really messed up my mental health in this way. So I would definitely recommend people to get psychological help, help from your relatives, your friends. And don't be afraid to show your emotion and be respectful towards you. Being strong doesn't mean that you need to be insensitive and you need to disregard your emotions. You need to just keep your routine, keep your eyes on your goals, but at the same time respect your mental health. Thank you. That's very, very important. I agree with that 100%. And since you spoke about the difficult situations, can you share your story? People might be curious. First, escaping the war in Donetsk since 2014 and then the full-scale invasion on February 24th. How was that day for you? Was it familiar? Did you believe it? Did you not believe it? And how was your story going to Belgium to study now? Yeah, so basically when everything started in 2014, it was really weird because I was still a very young girl. I was just 12 years old and I was just finishing my 7th grade. No, it was 6th grade. And it was just suddenly like the planes were coming and everything and military going around the city. And my parents were a little bit panicked. And for me, it was a very traumatic experience when I didn't realize until now when I'm working right now with my mental health and with a therapist. So this is why I have a little bit of a scattered memory about Donetsk and about everything that was happening there, just because it was a traumatic experience and my memory kind of erased things. And then I would say I had a lot of troubles with my relationship with boys in school in the sense that I was bullied. Since I'm a very tall girl, that's a very prominent feature, a very visible feature. So they were trying to make a lot of fun of that, which a little bit damaged my confidence, not a little bit damaged my confidence. And after that, I was trying to get myself back on track. I was building my confidence. I was basically most of the time faking it, but I also knew that I was worth more than I think. And then COVID started. I finished school and I realized that I want to study in basically Ukraine. I actually tried to go to a Ukrainian university and it was a disaster for me. It was not interesting. I didn't get anything positive out of there. And I applied to Cleveland, Belgium. It was during COVID. It was really hard understanding what's going on. But in the end of the day, they accepted me. I moved to Belgium and it was also a very hard time for me in Belgium because basically I didn't have any friends. I didn't have any relatives. It was a completely new environment for me as well as I needed to speak English all the time. I didn't have any support basically. And this was the time that I fully started to gain my independence and realization that I need to survive on my own. And it was quite interesting as well as COVID was also here and it was really hard to socialize with people. So there was a lot of stuff. And after that, I started to have problems with my grandma. So she got very ill during exam period when it was my first exam period in 2011 and she was getting really ill. So throughout whole month of my exams, she was basically in a very bad condition and I was in a call with my mom and it was really hard mentally to handle. And in the end of the day, she died before I even was able to see her, which was a very hard time for me. But I realized that it was kind of good end for her long life. She didn't suffer in then and it was the only thing that mattered after all. And then after half of the year, we discovered that another of our grandma had cancer. So it also was very close to my another exam period. It's like for me it was like a sign I'm going to have something difficult in my life and I needed to push through. I did my exam quite well. I finished my first year without any retakes for the second year, which is a quite exclusive thing for 11. And after that, in the third examination period, unfortunately, she died. But I at least had a chance to talk to her before everything happened. And yeah, unfortunately, life has an end right now. I made my peace with that. But in the end of the day, it was literally very hard because it again happened in exam period. I literally discovered it 10 minutes before my exam. And at that time, I actually realized that I can push way further than I thought I could, because I literally discovered 10 minutes before exam and I needed to hold all my emotions and concentrate on exam, regardless of the fact that I discovered a very bad news. And I did it and I did exam quite good, which shocked even me, to be honest. And then I went back to Ukraine. It was, I think, close. Yeah, it was a few weeks before invasion. Basically, two weeks before invasion, I'm coming back to three weeks, coming back to Ukraine. I go to the doctor and they finding tumor in my body. And that was a very, again, hard period for me and for my family, especially because we just are programmed due to cancer. And right now I'm questioned with cancer and we also have Russian soldiers near our borders. And I was trying to do my best to keep my family and myself in a good mental health. We were all the time trying to be together and support each other and cheer ourselves. And in the end, everything was quite good in the sense that that's not, that was not cancer. It was just benign tumor. But in the end of the day, I needed surgery for that. And I, and of course I prolonged my periods of being in Ukraine for longer because of that. And I did surgery, everything went well. It was my first surgery. I was really freaked out, but it's just a part of life. And 22nd of February, I left Ukraine and I came back to Belgium. And on 24th, I'm waking up with the call from my parents that I need to go and withdraw as much money as I can, because basically what happened in Donetsk, a lot of people lost a lot of money because the occupation and basically the Donetsk government overtook all bank systems. So people lost a lot of money and they were really worried about me that I'm going to have no supply, nothing to survive with. And I was just recovering from surgery. I was really scared and emotionally it was really hard. I, of course, I believed in the second that they said it, because I had the same kind of experience nine years ago when I saw it with my own eyes. And right now this happening again. And I was just crying because I felt really, really helpless because I couldn't help nor my family, nor my friends. I was all the time on my phone. And I would say this was one of the most hardest moments in my life, because you cannot do anything. You are out of the country. You cannot even hug your parents. You cannot hug your friends. And you just simultaneously trying to do at least something. And that time I also started to volunteer to help spread the information about Ukraine. Obviously, like we started to go on all protests that was happening in Brussels and even other cities. And I also organized a charity evening for Ukraine where I was sharing the story of my home city. Because honestly, not a lot of people knows that the war started nine years ago. It didn't start one year and a half ago. So I was telling that to everyone who knew me that I'm from the city that is occupied since 2014. And of course, when the full scale invasion started, I started to spread it even more intensively to make sure that people understand that that's happened for a very long time. Thank you for sharing that. All I can say is I'm proud of you and Slava Ukraini. Thank you. You have been through so much. There are many women in this world who have not gone through as much as you. Maybe they had a more protected sheltered life. They feel stuck in their comfort zone. They worry about going for their dreams, etc. What have you learned that allows you to overcome the bullying and to find your confidence so that you will do things to have a good life even when everything around is bad? How can other women learn from it? I would say, as Rihanna said one time, fake it till you make it. I know it sounds really strange, but it's actually like that. Even there is a psychological tool when you wake up in the morning, go to the mirror and you say to yourself, you're beautiful. Obviously, the first psychological response is going to be, that's not true. You want to stop doing this because it doesn't feel right for you, but with the time you get used to it. For me, it was something like that. I basically was faking my confidence for a good three years. I was just looking how confident people were acting, their body language, the way they talk, etc. Then I was copying them in some way. In this way, I found my way of confidence, how I felt confident. Just for me, it also happened overnight when I realized, yes, I'm beautiful. Yes, I'm strong. I'm an empowered woman. I don't need to be afraid to be myself. I need to be proud of who I am and what I'm capable of. I would say, yes, try to do your best to understand yourself and fake it. I understand. That's very interesting. I understand that in many ways, if you are not given these skills and this knowledge, you should learn it from other people, looking at other people, etc. I believe you mentioned in the beginning you did not get help for a long time. And if I understood you correctly, you're getting some therapist help in order to help you. First, some people might have a stigma about that. How did you overcome that stigma since in the beginning you didn't get that help? And what difference did it make for you to have that support instead of needing to figure it all out on your own? I would say we should stop thinking that, as I said, strong people are people who are not crying, everything is very stiff, no emotion, because for me that's a false perception and it puts a lot of pressure on a lot of people. And as a person who is like that, I was refusing to get help because I felt like the part of my strongness was going to be taken out, which is definitely not true. Actually asking for help is also a sort of power because you are able to share your story with another person, you are able to understand your emotion and then other person actually can help you with that and you will save your time, you will feel more connected with yourself if you will do that, because the therapists actually give you the easy tools how to deal with problems, how to deal with yourself and with your struggles. So I would say you just need to try it out. Maybe it's going to work for you, maybe it's not, but unless you're going to try, you're not going to know how it feels like and how it's nice to have help. Thank you. I love the wisdom that you're talking about and let's speak about sports and weight lifting. You said you have been bullied because you're tall. How was your journey of weight lifting? What did you notice? What gains that made you addicted to it? How did it change your personality? Why did you feel that becoming a coach, helping people with sports will be the right purpose for your life? Tell me everything related to it because it seems to be a very important part of your life, yet you have been doing it only for two years or three years, which is not a lot compared to some people who have been dancing since they were six years old or something. So how was that discovery, that journey, and why did you want to make it a big part of your life? So basically I think I should start with the fact that I always was connected with sports. I used to do horse riding on almost professional level since basically I was three till I was 16. So it was a very big part of my life and at some point I even had a question whether to go into professional horse riding, so it's jumping, or to stay more in amateur level and go to school, etc. So then I made the second choice because it was taking too much time and my mom was not very impressed with horse riding future. But it still was like, I still love these animals and I know that I will connect in the end of the day in my life with this kind of sport as well. But after that I realized that I still need some physical activity in my life because I get used to have at least like three times a week some sports. And I went to the gym for the first time before coronavirus. I was with a trainer. It was just having fun, honestly. She didn't give me a lot of information and basis to actually start going to the gym individually. But it was really fun. And I think this was a very good start for me because I connected the gym can be fun as well. It's not only lifting weights. It's not only about being strong. It's also about getting a positive emotion from the gym. And after coronavirus, obviously, I was in Belgium. So the gym was closed for a very long time. And then I just started again. And it really helped me also to be more confident, 100%. Because are all the time in the weightlifting section with 40 men around who is looking at you or screaming because they take a lot of weights. And that can be very intimidating for the first few times, for the first actually 10 times, for the first few months, let's be honest. And it was for me very intimidating. The first time that I entered, I was like, Oh my God, I'm not belonging here. But then after a few sessions, I started to get my confidence. I was like, I can't belong here. I'm strong and I'm confident and I'm doing it. And it's really helped to understand my empowerment, that I'm an empowered woman and I can lift weights and I can be strong, maybe not as strong as men because in the end of the day, hormones goes into place and you do need longer time to have the same progress as men, for example. But at the same time, it doesn't mean that it's a disadvantage for you. It's just the way how it is. And you still can get to a very high level with your gender, with your current abilities, with your current health. And yeah, right now, for me, it's an amazing tool also to get my head in place, to take some routine. Because for example, when the invasion started, I was not very able to go to the gym because I was after surgery, so you're not allowed to lift weights. So I started with digestive super light activity, but I was going to the gym. I was on the urge to cry most of the time. But I realized that, yeah, if I'm not going to do at least something that will remind me of my past life, I will just go crazy. And gym really helps you to get rid of your bad thoughts and focused on the present, focused on your muscle, focused on your strength, and don't think about anything else. Thank you. I love that. And at the same time, some people will wonder you're studying business administration, yet you want to help people with sports and nutrition and coaching, which many imagine it's about becoming an Instagram influencer and Instagram girl, who is walking around taking photos and selfies everywhere. Even when you go to a restaurant, you first do a small photo shoot before you begin eating. So how is that both combined? And some people might say, why are you wasting time studying university and not become an influencer already? Because all you need is a good phone and lots of content. I mean, I actually started like a TikTok not so long time ago, but I kind of realized that I don't have personality there. I show mostly my body, which does not really correspond with what I want. But I don't think that business administration is a waste of time because in the end of the day, I do want to get a course certification, but I doubt that it will be my main source of income in a sense that I do want my business and to have your business, you need knowledge. Obviously, you can get this knowledge any other way, but I do love studying and I do love that gives a very solid base for that. I basically have a knowledge right now in law, in statistics, in economics and accounting. I can literally build a business myself. Of course, not efficiently, not good because you still need people to do that to help you. But I still know the processes. And I think as with the fact that I want to be a director, you do need to know every part of your business. So in this case, I think it's a very valuable thing. And coach certification, apart from the fact that I want to help people, I also don't want to harm myself. And since I don't take coaching additionally, because it's very expensive and I honestly don't trust trainers that much, not a lot of them, I want to know my anatomy, hormone system, how to do exercise. I think it's all very important and for me just all very connected as well in my future. Yeah, for now, it doesn't make sense. But in the future, for sure, I think it will go in the same place. Thank you. And you mentioned that on TikTok, you were not showing your personality, more of your body, which is not what you want. I'm curious because you were bullied for how you look or etc. growing up. So now, are you comfortable if some people give you compliments on your body or do you get a resistance feeling? Oh, no, I want them to like me for something else for my personality, etc. Because in many ways, your body is something you work so many years on. So it's showing your personality because it's not just genetics. It's hard work that made it there. So what is your thought about that? Plus, what is your advice to some women who might not feel comfortable around their bodies? Because they will think, wow, even you after working so hard on the gym, you still are not seeing that your body is like something to be the most proud of or whatever, because it's your achievement. In many ways, it's your miracle. So what's your perspective on that? First of all, for advice for women, that's I think, I always wanted to say, don't go to the gym to change your body because you hate it. This is not how it's going to work because you will never achieve the point where you're like, oh my god, I'm a model. But then you look at the model and it's like, no, but I have fat here and fat here. We all look different. And I think the first thing that you need to do is change internally, not externally. And this is why for me, for example, right now I'm on a bulk. So my body is changing time to time. I have hard times to see that I have more fat than I used to have. But it's a normal journey. You will change your weight throughout your life. And I think you need to love the way you are, regardless of which stage you are. Basically, your body doesn't define you and doesn't define your future. You always can change. You can always find help. You can always do whatever you want. If that's what makes you feel happy, don't change it. And about the compliments part, I would say I used to have very hard times with accepting compliments because it felt very weird for me and I just couldn't comprehend them. Right now, I would say I'm good, but it doesn't make me flattered. I would say it's also different, for example, when a coach comes to me and says, you have a good form, I would be flattered. But if another guy would come and say, you have a good body, it's okay to compliment, but I would rather prefer people to compliment my energy, my vibes, my work, that like, oh my God, you look so good, you work so hard. So yeah, it really depends on the compliments because I think it's very easy to compliment some genetic features and it's really hard to see something past the surface. This is what I value the most, honestly. Thank you. And you mentioned your energy and your vibes. How do you believe that is developed? Because we live in a time where because of the pandemic, maybe, or also the war, et cetera, there are many people who are depressed, who have negative vibes because life was not so kind to them. They were not as resilient as you, but in general, let's say there is a girl who's listening and she's like, my dream is to have an amazing vibe. How can she develop that? What can she work on in order to develop her energy and vibe? I would say the person definitely needs to understand themselves, what they are strong in. For example, I find my passion in sports, in studying, in nutrition. So I'm very patient about that. And people can see that through the camera. For example, when I post the videos and already multiple people text me, oh my god, you inspired me, which is super nice and really amazing. And I think this is how I kind of got my vibe and my energy is from understanding what I like, understanding what I'm passionate about and go there and show that. Don't be afraid to show what you like and don't be afraid to show yourself because of course some people may say something bad about you. There was always second opinion. But what does matter is what you think about yourself. Thank you so much, Anna. It was my privilege and my honor to hear your voice, to share your perspective, to include you in this podcast. Thank you for everything. I wish you success. I wish you to follow and get to all your dreams and peace and victory to Ukraine. Thank you so much. That's a very important wish. I really appreciate it. I really appreciated this and it was a pleasure for me to be part of this project. Honestly, I think you do something very important here and that's incredible, honestly. Thank you.