Episode Transcript
Hello, my name is Aziz and I'm the son of a divorced mother.
She is really my superhero.
That's why it's important for me to support women to share their uniqueness, their personalities,
perspectives, and emotions about life.
Too many women in this world feel alone.
They worry about the judgment of others and they struggle with their mental health.
But when they listen to the Rare Girls podcast where empowered women share their voices and
tell their stories, many women will feel inspired to live a life of freedom and to overcome
all their insecurities.
They will feel it is a safe space to find their confidence, to remember their unique
beauty and to feel their self-worth.
And they will connect with the sisterhood of rare girls who encourage their success
and support their dreams.
That's what this podcast is all about.
My guest today is Julia Bachata.
Julia is a dancer from Vilnius, Lithuania.
She has been dancing all her life, starting with ballroom and now Bachata dance.
Julia grew up in a small town in Lithuania.
She finished high school and school of art there and continued to follow her dreams to big cities.
Now, she is a Bachata teacher in an amazing school called Bachata Vilnius.
Besides dancing, Julia has so many hobbies and passions that people never believe when
she tells them.
She loves gaming, collecting figurines, she has a huge collection of movies, she loves
to draw, to paint, she even creates digital drawings and logos.
Also, she has a big passion for puzzles, jigsaw puzzles, escape rooms, and exploring
abandoned places. Julia is a bit of a nerd and she is achieving her goals in high heels.
She likes to say to people, never give up what you want, do it big, do it good, and always in
style. Julia, how are you today? Hello Aziz, I'm good, how are you? I feel happy, positive,
excited, and very interested to know much more about you as a person. So,
I'll begin with this nice first question.
Julia, if your friends could describe your personality,
what would they say about you?
Oh, I have really good answer to this question.
My friends and colleagues call me sassy, just this.
Sassy, believing in myself, always in high heels,
always one head up, very fire lady like this.
In one word, they call me sassy, sassy style, sassy attitude, like the woman who knows her
worth.
I love that.
Let's begin from the beginning, which is that many women and girls don't have that
confidence to be sassy or fiery because they worry, oh, what if other people hate
me?
What if they judge me?
What if I feel bad or anything like that?
what gives you the confidence to be sassy and fiery,
and not care if other people don't like it at all?
Yeah, this is a very, very good question.
And I will start from this.
I was not like this all my life.
Of course, I had the worst, the bad, everything.
And I can say you have to keep making
so much mistakes in life
until you finally ask yourself are you happy is this the life you want to live
or maybe maybe you you have some struggle you know and you have to just
ask yourself and if your answer no I'm not too happy people criticize me
people talk bad about me people talk behind my back what people think of me
It's like very, very often girls compare themselves to what you see on social media, to other women,
to their friends. They listen to what their parents think of them, what they are suggesting
them to do. And my advice would be I can say in general, like, oh, just have trust in yourself.
But this is this is not the answer
To say just have trust just to take care of yourself. Just believe in yourself
No, it doesn't work this way. You have to like take
take your personality and
Take look into your life and see what is the problem? What what I want to achieve
What is my goal and slowly slowly slowly?
do one step, take some actions, do something for yourself. Of course, people like a woman care
about others very much. It's our nature to like, for example, we are in a relationship
and we start to care about other people and we forget ourselves. So this needs to be balanced
and never, never, never forget about yourself.
Take actions for what you want.
It doesn't matter what people say.
They will always say bad, always.
Always, always, always, but just trust in yourself.
Just one simple thing, just trust in yourself.
Just trust you.
I love that.
At the same time, some women,
even like teenage girls could feel bad and feel,
okay, if I say I trust myself, it's not real.
Like you said, for example,
that they should have their confidence,
believe in themselves, but they think,
I try, but I don't feel it, it's not real.
How can they take first steps in their psychology?
Is it dance, for example, when they do bachata,
they love their body more,
they see themselves do things that they couldn't do
before and then they begin that journey of confidence
or what are some practical things they can do?
Because again, some women will say,
yes, I can look myself in the mirror and I say,
I love you, but it's not real.
How can I make it real?
How can you make it real?
Let's see.
I think one good method is like,
I don't know, many people don't believe in it,
but I think write your own journal,
like a diary or something.
even manifest. Imagine, like sit and imagine, what would I like? How can I be better? And you
just randomly put in a list what you want. What you want, what you want, what you want,
what you want from your life, what you expect. And then repeat these positive words every day
yourself. I am enough. I am good. I am very smart. I don't
look fat. I don't look like this. I don't look like this. I
like my skin color. Everything positive, like positive things
and repeat to yourself every day these things. Yes.
I love that very, very much. And I want to know a bit more
about your journey. You said that you had difficult times,
you had situations that were difficult. Can you share a bit more about that? And also how
you, since you're known for being always in high heels, is that part of your confidence?
What is the meaning of being in high heels to you? Why is it something? Because I interviewed
a woman, a girl from Romania called Doina, and she said her advice for women anytime you
feel bad, wear a dress that you feel beautiful in, wear high heels and walk and you will
feel so much more confident that it will solve all the problems. Tell me more about that.
I completely agree with her. When I have a bad mood, of course, if you put a lipstick,
if you make nice hair, make, put on nice dress, put on very, very high heels, your confidence boost
is like goes up, up, up, up, up rising. You feel like a goddess unstoppable woman, really.
Yes. And so I make it quick from my high school experience, like, of course, bullying, like,
You know, I wanted to become a dancer.
I knew it from my childhood.
And of course, of course there was people like,
it's not a profession.
You cannot make a living out of dancing.
What you will do, what you will do.
I believed at first the only,
yes, the only person who believed in me
and let me do everything I want was my mom.
Later in life, she started to be more skeptical, you know, because she sees it's not going away, this dancing thing.
And yes, when I was studying, I felt really, really alone. I didn't know what to do.
Like I'm studying dancing, but I'm not happy. I'm not happy. I don't know what to do.
maybe I need to find a real job, you know? And later it goes on in life. I still dance,
I still dance, I still dance. I'm getting tired. I achieve nothing. Okay, I still cannot quit.
So I say to myself, but this is my life purpose. Really, I don't want anything else. I just want
dance. And from then, I had this goal. And I took so many
actions. I failed, I failed, I failed. I was going constantly
from one city to another city to practice to learn. And
people say to me like, why waste your money? Why you put
the money or the gas for everything? It's not worth it.
What you will do for for this for this lessons, nothing.
but I don't listen to them. They cannot put me off my goal. I don't listen to them. I listen to
myself. I believe I can achieve it. I believe, yes, there was doubts. Yes, so many. I wanted
to quit so many times, so many breakdowns. But still, I say, yeah, I will waste money for
windows, some doors, some small rooftop doors, something will open and it happened eventually.
Yes, also I was having a really, really toxic relationship. Really, I am so happy to escape
from it. It took a lot of time, but this person just wanted so bad for me to fail
and how I can prove him wrong. So for this, I'm happy, yes.
Thank you. I understand that journey is and was difficult for you.
You spoke earlier about manifesting and now you spoke about believing that a door will open.
How do you see reality? Do you see yourself as a girl who is protected by a higher power?
Do you see that you and your energy attracts all the positive things in the world?
What is your kind of spiritual, metaphysical way, maybe you're a girl that loves horoscope and tarot and magic and things like that?
Tell me more. And how can that support some women when they're going through difficult times to have hope?
Personally, I am being very honest here. I don't believe in horoscopes. I am not religious.
I don't have some special belief in something, but I think many people do, many people do.
Many girls are interested in horoscopes, in like the cards, the future, me, no.
But manifesting is legit true, it's legit true if you, for example, I sit one day
And I just close my eyes and I dream of something.
Oh, I'm a big rock and roll.
I'm a fire girl.
I am dancing, I am doing everything.
I'm just a business woman.
And I just dream about this.
And actually it helps.
For first, I was dreaming like I want to be a teacher.
I want to teach people.
I imagine I want to look like people say sassy with attitude,
but be a kind person in my heart.
If you manifest yourself,
believe me girls, it's going to happen.
Really, try. That's my answer.
That's a beautiful answer.
I'm curious about dance and you've been always dancing and bachata.
What do you love about bachata?
How do you feel when you're doing it?
Is it something that maybe gives you a break from the stress of life?
Is it something that recharges you? Is it the way you express yourself and your
purpose? Why Bachata and why do you love it?
Especially you who has a lot of dance experience and does so many things.
You could be doing any other dance as well as
something you focus on. Yes, so from my childhood I had this
her Latin dances. Of course, I dance bottom dance. I competed in competitions and I learned this
discipline of self-control because you do not always have motivation, you know, every day,
so you have to be disciplined. And one time maybe some bad experience happened. I was injured
very much. And I could not dance. And I was so suffering. I cannot
dance. But after I healed, I didn't have partner. And in Latin
dance, you must have partner to compete to, you know, ballroom
with the couples. And, and I think, okay, I don't have a
partner. What can I do? Where can I dance more Latin dances?
like with couples but but not having a couple and I discovered bachata dance so
it started to be my religion like not just a hobby not just a work I I dance
bachata literally every day and it does not get boring it's so it's this
is so universal you can dance the basic step but you can add your own spices so you can be show your
own personality through this dance because for example ballroom dance has strict rules you have
to play by the rules and in bachata i'm so happy to discover because i can show myself i can dress
as I want, I can be as I want, many styles, many spices of
your own. So that's why I love it. It's not just my hobby. It's
not just my work. I go to teach with a smile. It's girls, if
you want to experience this, bachata is the key. Like, yes.
I love that. That's absolutely wonderful. And I remember
earlier, you spoke about how you support yourself with some
the way you look or feeling fat or anything like that. We live in a time of
social media where even many teenage girls and even the women who come to
your bachata classes or whatever, they compare themselves to other women and
who are photoshopped maybe or they don't even look like that in real
life and they feel ugly, they feel depressed, they don't feel motivated to
for their dreams because they think, oh I'm ugly, why should I be ambitious? How do you take care of
your own feeling of self-beauty and self-esteem? And what's your advice to them so that they
understand that their unique beauty is beautiful and they don't need to compare to anybody?
Yes, this question, Aziz, has so many answers, so many answers because for everyone it's
different. But in general, you have to find your own voice, your own voice. There's gonna
be a day you feel like a disaster. Like, I don't want to do this anymore. I look so
bad. That girl on Instagram, she looks so good. She's like shining and I cannot even
go brush my hair today. I cannot go brush my teeth today. For me, it's hard today,
know and that's okay girls let it be let this moment pass because these moments i think actually
we need them we need them you know how the great bukovsky said you have to die a few times
before you start living so yes i believe really we need bad moments we need something to grow
from, and these breakdowns, these, oh, I cannot look at myself. I'm bloating. I am having a terrible
hair day. My body, I'm not happy. But this will pass. You have to, don't, first of all, don't
compare yourself to other people. Don't compare yourself to other people. Just don't compare.
you are your own mirror. You are your own creation, your own art. So girls believe in yourselves
because you rock. I agree 100 million percent and you as a girl who was born in a small village
in a small place did that put in you some limitations because often people from small
village maybe they think oh you cannot be too ambitious if you have big dreams maybe you
and that's humiliation, but you are also a girl who is
driven to big cities. Can you tell me, like, did
you have that mindset of, like, a village girl and then you needed to grow
from it? Or you were there, but you always thought, no, I am destined
for big things. I will create big things in a sassy way. And
even if people say anything, I'm not a village girl. I'm going to
the big cities. You know, in the small, yes,
small cities, like people are so close, they are so more cold, they like, I saw them and
like, I love you guys, but it's not for me. Like, I want something more. Of course, everyone
say like, what you will do in the big city? What you will do there? What is better there?
Nothing is better there. But this like, I want more, more of life, more, more spices.
anything I can imagine, I will go and look for it. If I don't feel comfortable in like with people
who don't want as much as me, because I have this problem. I want so much. It's really it's a
curse. It's good thing but it's a curse because like we have 24 hours in a day. And when you
so much, there's really no time. And the capacity of, of everything I want is like,
oh my god, I don't have, I don't have all life for this. Thank you. And then I will ask you,
since you are so busy building your dreams, having all that experience and growth, sometimes
some people think, oh, if I do that, I will burn out, it's too much work.
How do you do things in order to not burn out?
Do you have some balancing thing
or did you find what you love
so you never feel like you're working,
so you never burn out or how does it work for you?
Honestly, I burn out.
Yes, it's my own problem.
I'm dealing with this like Julia, come on.
You know, you want too much.
I just pick what's the most important for this day.
Each day, I think my goal of today.
Okay, today is most important to prepare a good choreography and other things, other things I can do like tomorrow or I plan, you know, because I have distinct, oh, I want to paint, I want to do logos, I wanted to read, to watch a movie, I want to, I don't know, play a game, collect something, buy something, and it's really too much.
I have so many hobbies and there's no time for,
so I have to choose for this day
what is the most important goal
and you will never lose with this.
I think I never lose with this mindset, yes.
Thank you.
And to finish this,
I want you to bring some more of your sassy attitude
and even if you repeat yourself,
if there is something that you feel is most important
for women to remember, to hear, to understand,
even for yourself as a reminder or even advice, what can you like finish this episode with
that is some advice that maybe you repeat what you said or something new that all women will
be much more empowered if they remember and hear? I would say very short, but girls,
women, anyone who listens to this episode, find your voice and feel the silence. Just this.
I love that. That's so inspiring,
something absolutely metaphorical and very epic and artistic.
Thank you so much, Julia.
It was my privilege and my honor to have you here.
I wish you all the success.
I wish you all the energy to walk in
high heels and do your dreams in a big way,
and thank you for participating.
Thank you, Aziz, so much for having me. It was a pleasure.
Yeah.
