E325 Ligita Kalašnykaitė

Hello, my name is Aziz and I'm the son of a divorced mother. She is really my superhero. That's why it's important for me to support women to share their uniqueness, their personalities, perspectives, and emotions about life. Too many women in this world feel alone. They worry about the judgment of others, and they struggle with their mental health. But when they listen to the Rare Girls podcast where empowered women share their voices and tell their stories, many women will feel inspired to live a life of freedom and to overcome all their insecurities. They will feel it is a safe space to find their confidence, to remember their unique beauty and to feel their self-worth. And they will connect with the sisterhood of rare girls who encourage their success and support their dreams. That's what this podcast is all about. My guest today is Ligita Kalashnikayte. Ligita is an international Baltic lawyer, one of the few Lithuanian girls participating in this podcast. She graduated Université Montesquieu Bordeaux 4 and Nicolas Roméris University EU Law and Governance Master's Studies. She has been awarded as the most accurate employee in her job, as well as the gift of remembrance of Lithuanian police for her job tasks. She has been aligning her professional career with personal development. She won the French song contest held for International Language Day. She has been playing piano, has been singing in girl's pop vocal group, the university's choir has been organizing and conducting music studio concerts. She is a bachata and salsa dancer and is performing in lady style dance performances. The idea reflecting her inspired by T. Robbins, the happiness is not the purpose of your life, but the growth and personal development is. She lives in Vilnius, Lithuania. Ligita, how are you today? Thank you, Aziz. I'm very happy that we could have a chance to have this interview together with you. So I was very excited, waiting for it impatiently. I'm happy, honored, lucky, and very, very excited as well to know a lot more about you as an accomplished woman who keeps going for bigger and bigger goals. And I'll begin with this nice first question, which is if your friends and the people who know you best could describe your personality, what would they say about you? They would say actually that I am intelligent, that I'm professional in my sphere, that I am patient, that I'm adventurous as well, and brave. For my self-surprise, they would say that I'm brave. Yes, these features, I would say, they reflect me. I always am very interested, you know, When how other people and circle of friends see me, you know, in their eyes, how this how do they see my personality. So I think these features reflects me and sometimes when you look into yourself through other people eyes you see as well maybe those features for you looks like So usual that you even do not notice that it could be your features or qualities that you have your advantages as a personality. I really, really admire and like that. And I want to discuss even more some of those features. You mentioned they say you are brave. It's very, very important. What motivates you to be brave? how do you find that energy? Because a lot of women, a lot of girls, they have this thing where they are stuck in their comfort zone and they worry too much which stops them from being so brave. I actually would say that for me it comes naturally. Sometimes when I'm maybe I'm you know goal-oriented and when I have some dream, some desire, some wish. So sometimes I just pass all those doubts and then think for myself, if I wouldn't do this thing that I want actually at that moment, you know the chance could pass away. And then you just will be maybe regretting all your life for a chance, which you didn't use, which you didn't done what you actually dreamed all your life maybe. So for me, maybe the goal and the dream, the desire, actually inspires me to do the things that I'm as well afraid or I have doubts about. But still, the inner inside wish is bigger, I would say, than all those fears. So I would as well advise that if you have some dreams you have to feel confident and that inner inside feeling will you really you know help just to do the thing that you actually dream about and just pass all your fears and insecurities and so on. I like that and you're a professional in your sphere as a woman who is a lawyer and at the time you love bachata and salsa and such dances it seems like there are two sides to your personality a side which is a professional some people will say that is masculine energy and other which is more about the feminine energy of the dance and the sensuality and the bachata how do you combine both some women struggle with that where they think oh if i am too ambitious maybe people think I'm like a man and so I'm not feeling like a woman or the opposite where they say if I'm being masculine I don't feel comfortable to let go and flow with the emotions. How do you does it work for you? I would say that probably those two let's say parts they are actually probably parts of my personality I would say they're reflecting really my personality that I have that masculine probably energy and then feminine, of course. But usually when people that say from physically from appearance, when they see me or how do I communicate or how do I act, they usually see that feminine probably side. But let's say in the professional sphere and work sphere, I have to be like more masculine, very logical, very rational, but like without any emotions um, uh, like, um, and absolutely other features of my personality. I have to encourage and show, but, uh, inside me as well, I always had, um, you know, thinking that we have only, you know, one life and, um, you can be happy and, um, as a personality, uh, feel that you are, expressing yourself and living a happy life when you're accomplishing, let's say, and performing in your professional sphere. But as well there is, you know, maybe those feminine energies and so on, which as well you would like to somehow to, as well, to express. So maybe through your hobbies, through your maybe our dances or music or something that actually for me in order I would be personality and feel like fulfilling myself completely I have to actually to have both of these activities and in regards to your question I would say as well for me personally I also had doubts if I'm showing usually my that professional that masculine side of people who are knowing me the biggest part of people that say they knows me in such a way only like smaller parts of people my close friends knows me as as well I'm could have some hobbies some you know dances as well and that feminine side more but so I had as well us how to look for people, but then I thought like, but I'm living my life, you know, and if I really feel that this moment of life, let's say, I really want to learn something new and exactly actually was like, probably goal of 2020, yes, 2022, that I wanted to start to learn a new dance. And I was just thinking what what dance it could be, you know, and, and finally, I found in the same in September 2022. You know some schools some dance classes, and I thought, I have to, you know, I have to start I have to try because I really want so why why not and why, why not to try and to learn something new for me is as well, always very interesting And I think I thought, okay, maybe I could, you know, accomplish one of my dreams and just to start. And as well, talking about that, let's say, braveness, for me, it was not an easy decision. And for me, it's not easy, let's say, to dance Latin dances in that aspect that is quite, you because I thought like, Oh, I want to I need to keep a distance. I am like a person that probably always having my own space and not like allowing can drink other people that I do not know so closely into my personal space and so on. So for me it as well was like breaking some boundaries and as well to do the things and step out of your comfort zone from personally for me, stepping out from my comfort zone and tried things that I didn't done before. And yeah, and maybe it would be as well a challenge for me, but I really want to try. So I did it. I love that kind of ambition and I love how you're constantly developing. You mentioned, and I said that in the introduction, that you live because you in self-development very, very much. Can you explain a bit more? Is it part of your nature that you're driven to always grow? Did you have moments in your life where you were working too hard and you're like, I'm not growing, I want to grow, so you put a priority for it? And how do you explain the difference? Because there are people in this world who keep repeating the same day again, again, again, without growing, and it feels sad, but to them, they don't feel interested in self-development. I would say it's my personality's part. It's natural thing for me, because even at jobs where I was working, and I've been working, yeah, the people noticed actually that I'm very curious. I always want to self-grow, that I want to learn new things, that it's interesting for me, that it drives me, you know? Like it's always like to say in my professional sphere as well there, you know, all the time we are living, especially in this nowadays, we are living in a time when we actually, let's say learn something, finish university, graduate universities, but still like all the time you have to, in order to be, to know what is in your sphere, what are the current trends, what are, you know, the actualities, what are the problematic aspects. You always have to wrote in order to know what's now actual in your sphere because they are all, the life is so quickly changing nowadays that some, something that was actual and important, you know, five, let's say years ago, now there's totally maybe different actualities and trends and so on. So in order to be, you know, up to date your sphere, I think it is as well good, but as well for your personality, it is as well good to learn new things, to grow. And sometimes, as you said, like in work, probably I haven't been in that situation that I was working so much or I was not satisfied with my work. No, I wouldn't say so. But sometimes I felt like maybe only one, let's say part of personality, like in the professional sphere, maybe you are so growing, but you then have so many things to do in that sphere that you forget, you know, you as a personality and like those personal as well, you as a personality development is as well important, like to forget yourself between the assignments between the obligations that you have to do but as well like what's for you takes you know maybe it's interesting or gives you some you know pleasure or like to have a bit of rest of you know of everything so on so you have to combine always, you know, those, those, let's say, things that it, like it wouldn't become too much, you know, of everything until you become burnout. But you have to like, keep a balance always, you know, doing your, of course, your assignments, your job tasks and so on, keep, you know, learning something new, self-growing and so on, but as well like keeping the balance between everything that that when you need to stop and have a rest. So then you have maybe the rest of everything that you know, like not that you have, you know, would have again, fresh, fresh, you know, strength and emotions and so on. And you could, you know, take your new new tasks or new things that's coming to your life. you know with a happy smiling face and not like you are disappointed and you do not want everything and as well like I don't know if let's say I understood your question correctly but I noticed that in as well between young people especially that there are some people that they are working let's say they're working in some sphere but they say like I'm not satisfied in that sphere but you know it's quite comfortable, but I do not want to change anything. They are not happy about their lives, but they are still doing nothing about it in order to change it. Maybe they are not so brave, maybe it's always comfortable to say stay in a place where you feel safe and you know people, the environment for you is known and you do not have to make moves and But as well, at the same time, there are people, they are not happy about their lives. So I really would encourage if a person is still having a job, living quite a good life, but still lacking some things or thinking that maybe not even considering if the person is really happy or not. So then I think you should try maybe in another environment between another people and so on. It could be much greater or maybe that job that new challenges could bring you know really good happy emotions in your life you know and then you will be excited about what you're doing but that's not like passing a day and thinking well you know when it will end And then start again the next day and nothing changes like you're the same, you know, living the same life with the same people, the same environment and still not happy. So I would think that from some maybe you in the points of some stage of your life, you should have them to decide or maybe something to try another thing, maybe something new, maybe to change something. Maybe it will bring you happiness. Thank you. And speaking about trying something new, you said that you had a plan this year to try a new dance and to explore a new kind of dance. Can you share for you in particular, what does dance give you? What emotions, what personal growth, what connection? How do you feel as a person when you're dancing? Why is it a passion for you? I think dances gives you know a lot. You learn of course new let's say dance new thing in life that you haven't tried then as well you make connections with people new actually meet absolutely new people from other sphere. those professionals who are professional dancers, let's say from their sphere who are like living their whole life as dancers. Then as well, you meet people who are like from a different kind of spheres working in having their, you know, let's say a different as well, thinking different views and so on. So you're broadening as well your, you know, your views and your thinking about life and as well making contacts and meet a lot of new people and with whom actually we are having something in common so you have dances in common but everything the rest could be absolutely you know different in life what they're like or what they how they are you know spending their leisure time probably leisure time would be part of leisure time would be in the dances, you know, but still the rest that they could be, you could find really similar, actually similar personalities. Some, some people they are really you could meet some which are like very similar personalities than yours could be as well. So it's good. So and actually that hobby, you know, brings to your life people that you, you wouldn't have a chance to meet probably them if you wouldn't have, you know, try that, that, that activity. So really, it's good. I think it gives it gives you a lot because as well as a personality, you have to step out of your boundaries and of your insecurities. Then you still, if you're not liking a lot, you know to, let's say, have starting easily, let's say, connections with people or meeting people that you still, you're kind of moved in that environment that you naturally have to do the things maybe that you wouldn't do in your life naturally. So it's good, because then you, you know, learn something new. And, and as well about the people, I would say that people, yeah, they're really, really nice, interesting people. And so it is like, like a community, I would say, those dancers, they are really, because then you have with your dance colleagues, you know, together some festivals, some occasions, some spending your leisure time. So it's really, I think, worth to try something like that. So I would recommend for girls who have not been, say, dancing or, so I would say, yeah, I would advise to try it. This you can decide on which dances, but yeah. Thank you. I love hearing your story, you sharing your experiences. And to finish this. What is your advice to women in this world who maybe are living life but they're not really finding their confidence? Maybe they live life because their parents, they follow what their parents think or they feel shy even about their society. For example, let's say they live in Lithuania in a small town or even somewhere else where they think, oh, if I do really what I dream about the real life they want, but they can't find their confidence. What's your advice about that confidence and going for their big goals? My advice would be still to try somehow to find some inner strength, some energy and try to start to live the life actually that you are dreaming about. So to start with, it could be some small steps, everything begins I think from one step, and then those other steps are easy, but the step for the first step, you have to just start to be more confident about yourself. If you are just still, you're living your life, you probably having your job, yeah, and have some assignments and so on. So you start, okay, I have some goals, some smaller goal, yeah? And during some period of time, I'm achieving it. Yes, I managed to do it. I'm quite maybe good at my job, maybe excellent even, yeah? So then you start to think about yourself, okay. So if I'm making some reports and reaching maybe smaller goals in my life. So probably I could do as well if I have a bigger goal, you know, in my life. So I probably I will manage as well to reach it. Just, you know, to have to start then about the other people, people's opinions and so on. Let's say, I would say that still you have to believe in yourself firstly at the first place. But of you have your circle of friends, yes? And some of friends probably, as usual, and we are having in a society as well, that some of them would be like pessimistic views and will say that, oh, it's not possible, you are not going to manage to do it. But there will maybe few friends from that circle that would say, you know, I believe in you. You know, I think you treasure. They're golden because you always have to let's say and I believe that every girl actually has in their circle as well. If okay if family could be family supporting here could be as well maybe not understanding and not supporting okay at that moment but as well you are you always have friends so some of friends I truly believe there's always some friends who will supporting you in your activities, in whatever you decide in your life or whatever you do, because they believe in you. Okay, you could, you will manage to do it. And it as well gives you some strength that, okay, some people, some people still believe in me and okay, so I will go move forward. And then just you have to forget about the rest. I would say the closest, You know, the family, of course, is more important than the friends close, but you do not have to reach, you know, and do the support or as well from all that say society or all of people, bigger groups of people, because there always will be those pessimistic or who would say that you are not good enough, you are not maybe professional enough, you will not manage to do it, and so on. And you should just have, you just have not to listen to them because otherwise you will start, you know, being insecure about yourself or insecurities will become higher and you will just, you know, stop doing everything. So then you have to, you know, believe in yourself, trust the people, some few closer people that believes in you and go to your goals and move forward. And to let's say, still, if you have, you're making some steps, for example, in life, it could be related with the main goal that you want to achieve, or it could be related with, let's say, smaller your achievements. Always, you have to somehow celebrate and make a bit of a relation of, you know, some achievements that you reached. Maybe you passed an exam, maybe you received some, you know, certificate in your job that, you know, that that you finished graduated something, maybe you finished some course of lectures of studies or you were in an amazing, let's say conference or seminar or something, and you like or dreamed all year, maybe it was very difficult to get, to receive the tickets to it or something and you have the ability to participate or maybe you had the chance to speak with, I don't know, with the speaker of your dream or with the people that you actually dreamed of all your life that I would like to discuss with me. or I would like to have a conversation with him and to discuss about the matters. So you have to really appreciate, let's say and celebrate those moments when you should be proud of yourself that you've done something and then you as well and share with your as well friends, family that, you know, I did something great and I want to share, you know, because that's emotion, very great emotion, and I'm happy about it. And all these steps, actually, they are, they are creating you more and more self confident. And afterwards, you just, you know, you're sure about yourself. And it's much easier than to, you know, to reach something that you all the time. So always, you know, I would say despite the country or despite Europe from school or a bigger city, I would say they are always, you know, have to pass those, let's say, steps that there are people who will be believing you. There will be pessimistic people who will say that you are not going to manage it. And yes, well, there is in all spheres it is like that, but you just have to believe in yourself and if you really wish something and really have a goal, your dream, so you have to, you know, try to reach it. So let's say this would be my, you know, advice that you should really encourage, you know, to try those steps and really hope that girls will listen, maybe it will inspire them, and to start something new, to start their life path, that they really were dreaming about that. Because I'm really for that, that you have to really try to do the things that you want, instead of living, let's say, comfortable life when you are not happy. So I was really happy for the listeners who listen. It will inspire some of them to reach their dreams. I know you will. This was very, very interesting. Thank you, Ligita, so much for sharing your your experience, your advice, your insights. It's absolutely a privilege to have interviewed you in this podcast and thank you so much for participating. Thank you very much. It's really great honor and I'm very happy that you invited me to this project and to participate in this interview. So as well, I was very excited and I'm very happy to meet you during this interview. So for me it was a great pleasure. Thank you.