Episode Transcript
Hello, my name is Aziz and I'm the son of a divorced mother. She is really my superhero. That's why it's important for me to support women to share their uniqueness, their personalities, perspectives, and emotions about life. Too many women in this world feel alone, they worry about the judgment of others and they struggle with their mental health but when they listen to the rare girls podcasts where empowered women share their voices and tell their stories many women will feel, inspired to live a life of freedom and overcome all insecurities. They will feel it is a safe space to find their confidence, to remember their unique beauty and to feel their self-worth. And they will connect with the sisterhood of rare girls who encourage their success and support their dreams. That's what this podcast is all about. My guest today is Helen Andrea Ambrosio-Rei. Andrea is from Colombia. She is 29 years old and currently living in Kuwait working as a junior sous chef at Roca Kuwait. Andrea studied gastronomy back in Colombia, graduated in 2013 in Gato Dumas. She loves painting, dancing, and lately she has been reading a lot. Andrea, how are you today? - Hello, Sis, how are you? I'm very good, I'm very happy to be here talking to you. - I feel blessed, I feel very, very positive, happy to share your voice and very curious about you. So I'll begin with this nice first question, which is Andrea, if your friends and the people who know you best could describe your personality, what would they say about you? - Well, I will say, I think the first thing is I really like take care of the people. I believe they will say that sometimes I even put the rest of the world, either my family, my friends on top of me because I'm that kind of care who really, you know, protect the people that she loves. I think also they will say that I'm a hard worker person And then I'm very passionate, passionate for life, passionate for my family, passionate for my career. I believe if you don't have passion, it doesn't make any sense for you to either work or just even do simple things. As I told you before, as a living, you need to live the best every day. You need to love with passion. You need to work with passion. So yes, I think those are the most important things. And of course, several of bad things as well. (laughs) - I understand that's very, very interesting. I want to understand a bit more about your desire for passion, let's say. There are many people nowadays who accept to do jobs that they hate just to get a paycheck. They do whatever, like that makes them not feel much passion and maybe they only have fun in the weekend and some people not even at all. What makes you desire to be so different from them? What's your advice to them? What's your perspective on such situations? - I feel lucky because what I choose for work, what I choose is what I really love. Like, I don't know, I cannot give you like in some way my perception of why other people who are in a work in another field, how they can find their own passion. But for me, I'm a chef. So of course, when I feed people and I see their faces and I see how they can change their mood from sad or angry, and then once they have the first bite, they are the most happy people in the world. That's a fulfilled feeling for me. So that's why I found passion on that because you can take something so simple like an apple or celery and then you can transform that and make a person completely happy. So that for me is beautiful. So that's how I found passion. However, I think in this era, we are like changing some way because before, I will say that before we were like taught that you have to work, you have to have your house, you have to have your car, your family, et cetera. It doesn't matter if you are happy or not at work 'cause at the end it's just a paycheck as you say. But I feel like right now, nowadays, we can really think for a moment and say, okay, am I happy when I'm going to work? Do I wake up and I feel like, oh yes, I wanna go to work. I wanna spend time eight hours, nine hours. So how long do you have to be at work doing this for money? 'Cause at the end, let's say you're a productive HR between 17 years. So let's say till, I don't know, I will say 60 nowadays. So those years are the one that yes, you can work, you can make money, but also you need to use your time wisely. You need to enjoy life. Because then after when you get older, it's not possible your health is gonna be a problem. Your mobility is gonna be a problem. So I think right now I will advise the people to just think really you wanna spend 20, 30 years of doing. something that just don't make you happy for money or you want to take a risk and maybe don't earn that much money and maybe you know change completely your path. I have friends and I have people that they they were I don't know I have one friend one of my friends he was photographer for 15 years and then randomly he said you know what I want to be a pastry chef and then he switched He was 30 when he started studying pastry, when he started changing his life. Now he's the most happy person in the world. So I think we need to stop being scared of what the people think, what we were taught when we were a child, and we just need to really follow what is in our heart. I agree 100 percent. And were you always born thinking differently to most people or because of travel or different life experiences, how did you feel growing up in Colombia? Of course, it's a great country, a great place. At the same time, did you feel different to other people? And that's why that drove you to want to travel. Or is it because of your international experience that your thinking became more open minded? I will say everything is because of my My mom, so my mom, we lost our, my father, my mom lost the love of her life when she was 33. So basically she had to raise me and my sister as an independent woman. So I was always told about her, like, yes, you need to find a job, of course, and you need to make some money because at the end that's the way that you have like how you're gonna eat. However, don't do anything that doesn't make you happy. And she always like pushed me, empowered me of taking the best decisions for me, knowing base, knowing base of what the sociarity think that is the best, you know. So I was raised with freedom. I was raised as as an independent woman, I was raised, as my mom always says, the sky is your limit. But at the end, you decide how far is the sky for you. So that's something that I always kept in my mind. And then in back in Columbia, when I started working in a hotel, I realized that I needed to improve my English, that I wanted to study English, right? And that's how my traveling journey started. And yes, you're right also outside when you are alone and then you need to face so many situations that you don't have your family to back you up. You develop some, in my case, I developed some kind of wildness that I say, okay, I'm alone right now, but it doesn't matter that everything that I live in Colombia, everything that I work for in Colombia, now I'm gonna just give it up over again. So I just focus myself. And then I say, I've been here, I've been working here, who I share with the country is, and I've been here alone and I came here alone in from my own work and from my own, you know, my own way. So you need to, you know, like you need to push yourself and not dislike because like, I will say that it's not, I didn't take all these decisions because I wanted to be different than that other person. I feel like you are just born like that. Yes, the influence of my mom was very strong, but I feel like I was born like that. I was not always the kid that, for example, I was super bad in school. Back in school, I was a disaster. No good scores in my signatures was disaster. But then when I studied astronomy, and then I was one of the best ones, you know? So, which is funny, 'cause that's everything, it takes me again to the concept of passion. That's when you are doing something that you don't like, you can be a disaster. And then you come to a safe place where you are happy, when you have passion and when you have love for what you do, then everything just comes perfectly. They just come everything okay, and then everything just kind of sets up in your life. But yeah, again, I cannot say like I wanted to be different from other person. I think I was just raised like that with a little bit of push-up of my mom's side. - That's great. And you mentioned that you have developed your wild side. Can you explain a bit more, what is, does it mean for you and how can other women develop their wild side and how can that help them in their life? - Of course. So I developed my wild side, I always say this, because sometimes you, as a woman, you are afraid of so many situations and even so many decisions. you are afraid of taking some decisions. So I will say this is the moment as we've been working, fighting so much for our rights as a woman. Sometimes we are scared of what the people will think about us taking ownership, and taking action of what we want and what we don't want. As a chef in a male industry, I face so many challenges. Then that was the moment when I said, you know what? I'm so sorry, but I'm not gonna bend. I'm not gonna change the way that I am. I'm not gonna try to fit in your woman mindset that you have, that we have to be the most soft person in the world, that we have to be the one that they need to shut up, that we cannot be the strong ones, the skillless ones, the hard worker ones. And then basically I just stop thinking about the rest of the people. I just focus on myself and I say, you know what? Look, this is what I can do. This is what I can offer you. You like it or not like it, but I'm not gonna feed myself. I'm not gonna shape myself just to feed in your company or to feed in your life. Because this is talking about, yes, personal life, but also work-wise, I don't know, friends-wise, this is in general. 'Cause I think we have so much pressure as a woman that you have to fit. Like you basically, you need to check yourself to fit in all the fields in the life, like all the situations that happen around you. And no, that's not the way. And then I take that, I took that decision, And at the end, I became wild because I don't care. You understand, I don't care. I don't care if you think that I'm a little bit rude sometimes because this is who I am, this is my personality. I'm not hurting you. You think that I'm rude because I'm a woman who can speak up, you know? 'Cause that's the situations that I have faced and I'm still facing 'cause you are a woman and you are like in a leader position. So they don't respect you sometimes. The people don't respect you. And then when you show them what you can do and then you show them why you are in the place that you are, that for me is why, is protect yourself. Like a lioness, you know? Like you don't come to me and don't tell me what I cannot do because you are not me. You don't know my limits. You don't know how far I can go. So stop it. It's like a little jungle and you are the the lioness, but protecting yourself, but also showing the world what you can do and what you can offer. I like that very, very much. At the same time, you said that you love noticing that when you cook food, you create things that are tasty and the people feel the pleasure when they eat it. It's a valuable experience for you. It's validating. Often people who are given like that, who are interested in giving other people good emotions, are afraid to be wild, to say no, to set boundaries. How do you set the balance without losing neither? Because sometimes some people become too strong and then they don't care about other people. and at the same time you care about the experience and the emotions people get from what you create as a junior sous chef. Tell me a bit more about that. To be honest with you, I'm still struggling with that. I work in, as I don't know if you know, but my restaurant is a Japanese restaurant and I love the food of my restaurant, but sometimes me as a chef is hard for me to understand when I received a, let's say, a comment like, "Yes, I like the food, but this dish, I didn't like it that much." And I'm like, "Why? But why? That's my favorite dish." You know, I'm not gonna lie. I will say I'm still working on it. For me, or what I always think of there as shift, I say, "Oh, Andrea." So today we had a rough day, let's say, because as you say, for me, my commitment with this career is to completely fulfill the pleasure of the people that are sitting at the restaurant or even at my table. Let's talk about if I'm cooking for someone. Right now what I'm working on is okay, the day is finished. You need to just stop thinking of what you should have done, why you should have correct because the day is done. even though if you think about that, you cannot change anything at that moment, you know. So basically I stop myself, I'm like, okay, you chill, you relax, you sleep read a book, and then tomorrow will be a next day. Yeah. But that's something that I've been working because I will lie to you that, oh, yes, my life is completely in balance. That's not true. And whoever says that is not true, because as humans, we are improving ourselves day by day. We are in a constantly change. We are not the same person that we were two days ago, one month ago, one year ago. And that's beautiful. You need to always improve yourself and then just set the priorities of what you want in your life, you know. So right now I'm working on that. Actually, my sister, she has been a really help. She has been a really help for me. She was one of the person who told me, "You need to to stop thinking about what happened today, because you need to restate your mind for the next day. If you keep thinking the way you should have done the day before, then the next day, you're going to keep thinking of that. And then you just are going to pull the problem for the rest of the week. So what is the point? And it's true sometimes as a woman, because we are very emotional, we just stick on those feelings, either good or not there, but so you just need to let it go. Just let it go and give yourself an opportunity. And sometimes please. Oh my God, I think as a woman, we don't have mercy on us. Sometimes we're so harsh on us. You are you. You should have the better. You should have push more. You should know sometimes we also need to raise. And the problem is we are our own judge. We are the ones who really push ourselves, like we are the ones who are our enemy but also our friend. So we need to also have some mercy on us because we are strong but also it's good to be soft sometimes but also it's good. That's why we are women. We can have 200 feelings at the same time and it's okay and it's not bad and that does not gonna change the person that you are right now. I understand that fully and completely and you are a very strong woman. Often you might need to be in your masculine energy for a long time and that can feel uncomfortable. How do you balance so that you don't forget to be in your feminine? How do you approach that? Because you're alone, like you said, you need your wild side and therefore you need to be your own protector provider your own masculine. How does it work within you to not lose touch with your feminine energy? I think this is gonna sound silly, maybe. So because of my position, I have some people in charge, right? And then they are for me like my children, you know. So in the kitchen I can be through the mas- well the mas- they have the masculine vibe and all these things that you just say, but my heart is still a woman heart. Like I'm the kind of person who cooks for their team. I'm the kind of person who cares for them if they have a birthday, if they are sick, if they need something, if they need to talk. I feel that has allowed me to stick on my feminine side. I need, I would like to tell you that all my children is my kids because I call them like that. They call me mama. They don't call me chef. They don't call me Andrea. They call me mama because I protect them. Because they are my, for me they are not just my colleagues. They are also my family. They are my kids. So I feel at work, my work can pull my mask inside, but also can pull my family inside. So I think in at work, I have a balance on those sides that you just asked me. And back when I'm alone here at home, I will say that painting, every time that I paint, all my canvas and everything that I paint is very feminine. Also, I really love to dance. I really love to, you know, lately I will, I've been buying a lot of eyeliners and I like to draw things in my face just to, just to, just to have fun, you know. So yes, it's just a few things like, let's say a few things that they, that, that I keep as a woman, like a little bit of makeup, a little bit of those things. But I will say I keep my family inside just because of my work again, when you have to lead people, when you have to treat with people, I still keep that, yes, the feminine side through mother's mood or something. And the funny things say I don't want to have kids. Like I don't want to have kids at all, but for me, they are my children's. And I think I treat them like that. Because as I told you, they from nowhere, they start calling me mama and they are from so many places and I'm talking about that there are people over 30 years so like they are older than me and even though they still call me mama. That's very very interesting and really like you developed a lot of adventures in your life and your ability to psychologically take care of yourself and try to work with your mental health And nowadays, a lot of women, because of social media, they see other women who are photoshopped or have a lot of plastic surgery or look great because they are AI generated, made by artificial intelligence, and then they feel depressed, they feel ugly, they don't see their unique beauty. Did you deal with this? And how do you keep your confidence in yourself, although it's so easy to compare to other women. Of course, that's something really hard. That has been a really hard thing for me. When I was a child, I was very, very fat. Very fat. And when I was a teenage, I developed a food disorder and it was very hard. It was very hard and still being hard because as a chef, you need to eat all the time now. So always I have that fear that, oh my gosh, I'm going to gain so much weight. Oh my gosh, I need to control my calories. Oh my gosh. You know, but is in my case, I will say, first of all, you need to, you need to know that every human being is different. So you cannot compare your body with someone that is, I don't know, two, two, two centimeters or 10 centimeters shorter than you, or which is from another country. and the physiognomy is different than yours. First of all, we need to understand that even though we work out, we do diet, we, I don't know, we go to a surgery, we do so many things, still your body is not gonna be the same like the other person. Because that's why we are different and every human being is different and no one has the same arms, no one has the same legs. So from the start, you need to understand that. Yes, you can take care of your health. Yes, you can try to look beautiful, but for yourself. Not to fit in this standard, crazy standard that every day is changing. So today being super, super skinny is the new heat in the world. And then in two months, it can be curvy. And then in three months, it can be, I don't know, chubby. And then after, you need to be very tall. And this is changing so much, but then you cannot change. You cannot change how you were born, you know? This is it, this is it. You need to accept that and you can pretend that you're gonna look like Kim Kardashian because you are not here or you are not any other social media person. So just start accepting yourself and loving yourself. It's hard, I'm not gonna say I can do it and I'm perfect on that because I'm not, I'm still learning. But in my case, like for the industry that I work, I have so much, I don't have so much time to be outside of my work because of course, I need to be inside, I don't wear makeup, I don't, I can't even put a perfume on my body 'cause you know, has up and all these things that sometimes I just forgot. But I think if I have a, I don't know, eight hours work, that was your boy more at I am upside more time than that at work. Maybe I will be more affected. But for me, like my, my, my, my, my, is always running, running, running. And actually I don't spend that much time in social media because I know every time that you open your Instagram or your Facebook or whatever, you will see pictures of beautiful ladies, beautiful. Here is beautiful eyes. And it's going to affect you. Even though if you say no, no, no, it's not going to affect you. is going to affect you, but it's okay. The thing is like, what are you going to do? How are you going to handle it? You know, because at the end, it's your decision. The information is going to be in front of you all the time. The person is going to be in front of you all the time, but what are you going to do? You're going to just be depressed and just, oh, where can I be like this person? Or you're just going to say, it's okay. I'm not that person. Me, I'm another person and this is my body and I will love my body. But that's a hard, hard way to go. Again, I'm still doing it. I'm still working on that. - Thank you so much. It was honestly, Andrea, my privilege and my honor to share your voice, your perspective, a slice of your life. And thank you for sharing with other people, inspiring other women. I wish you all the success. I wish you even more fun at your job and keep going. - Thank you so much. And I would like to say a last thing to all the women that are listening in my words right now, just keep in mind that you girls are strong. The sky is your limit as my mother say. And the limit, you put the limit, no? You decide how far is your limit. But keep being strong. Please attach yourself of what you believe. It doesn't matter if the other people don't like it. Please don't hurt anyone in the process and don't hurt yourself. That most important, remember that you will receive just the things that you have done before. Like if you have been a good person, if you have been, yeah, a good human being, that's what you're gonna receive in your life. But that doesn't mean that someone can't respect you or that someone can step over you. So as a woman, we are very powerful. Sometimes we forget about that. So please ladies, don't forget that you are powerful. - 100%. Thank you again. And I look forward to sharing this episode. - Thank you so much, Josez. And thank you so much for reaching me out. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music)
