Episode Transcript
Hello, my name is Aziz and I'm the son of a divorce mother. She is really my superhero. That's why it's important for me to support women to share their uniqueness, their personalities, perspectives, and emotions about life. Too many women in this world feel alone. They worry about the judgment of others and they struggle with their mental health. But when they listen to the Rare Girls podcast where empowered women share their voices and tell their stories, many women will feel inspired to live a life of freedom and to overcome all insecurities. They will feel it is a safe space to find their confidence and to remember their unique beauty and to feel their self worth. And they will connect with the sisterhood of rare girls who encourage their success and support their dreams. That's what this podcast is all about. My guest today is Aria Arundas. Aria is from Kerala, India. She has completed her bachelor's degree in Bachelor of Science in forensic science with honors. Currently, she has taken a year break to figure out what is best for her. Arya is really passionate about modeling and acting and she does freelance modeling. Her hobbies include writing poems, dancing, roller skating and creating content on social media platforms and being an influencer. Arya, how are you today? I'm feeling great today and I'm really happy that you invited me to this really wonderful podcast. So how are you? I'm honored, I'm blessed, I'm feeling very very happy and excited to know much more about you Arya. So I'll begin with this nice first question which is, if your friends and the people who know you best could describe your personality, what would they say about you? So most of the people who know me, I think they would better describe me as a person who is very much sensitive, but yet caring and loving. Thank you. And that's something very, very important. So you're a sensitive woman, a sensitive girl. Sometimes you might need it to be in situations that are too anxiety inducing or too strong or full of emotions. How do you take care of yourself. How do you deal with those? What did you learn that maybe keeps you pushing forward, although sometimes you want to run away and jump in bed and hide if that situation has too many emotions? Correct. I'm a very much anxious person and to deal with it is very much difficult, but I keep myself like enjoying it rather than be worried about it because our heart is full of emotion and it is necessary to feel them. It's not always like in life we have all much of all happiness and all. Life is all about ups and downs so it is better to enjoy them and it is to like enjoy every moment rather than to worry about it and be confined and know where to stop it and to control it. We should have the control over it then we can live happily I think. I agree with that very very much. And then to ask you, when you meet new people, does your anxiety flare up? Do you feel that you need a lot of time, a lot of effort and knowing them a lot before you can trust? How do you go about it? Since you are someone who maybe both, you had friends since a long time, but meeting new people is part of your evolution and getting into new places, new chapters in your life. So how How does that work for you? Meeting new people, that's really hard for me because I am a person who is very much introverted. But I must say I'm extroverted among the people who I feel comfortable with. So it takes a little bit time to talk to them, to get to know them. And if I feel that connection between the people I meet, I think the conversation is a bit easy. And yeah, it's a bit anxious process, but I really enjoy it because meeting new people, It's like we get to know a lot of stories, new stories, their life, and it is really cool. So I think, yeah, a bit of time I give to them and I give myself to just connect with them and it goes on really well. - Thank you. And you spoke about that connection. Can you tell me a bit more about that? Is it that you share similar perspectives in life? Is it that you feel they're sincere and honest? Is it that you believe your soulmates and you were destined to meet in a previous life or something like that. How do you explain that connection? How does it happen for you? What is different between that connection when you feel it with the right people and other people who might be nice people, but you don't feel it with them? - That's kind of a tricky question because the connection, what I mean by it is that, that I should feel that when I communicate with them, that they understand what I'm saying. There's no point that we are communicating supports a person who does not understand us. So it's that point where someone is really nice to us that they listen to us. That's what we need in life because life is full of hurdles and having someone to rely upon is a really great deal. So it's that. Thank you. And you mentioned that life is full of hurdles and of course life is hard and has, like you said, ups and downs. Well, when it's a down moment in life, how do you keep yourself motivated? Do you remember and think there is light at the end of the tunnel? Or do you think I am protected and destined and you have faith and you believe that a higher power is protecting you? Or you're like, I have the support of my friends who will encourage me to push forward? How do you do it? Well, many people might give up at the times when it's dark, and therefore they never reach the light. Well, I'm a person who has faced a lot of difficulties in life. I wouldn't say face because I'm still facing but that doesn't stop me anywhere because life is a lot more to go and when I'm down I really think about the good moments that I had which keeps me going because I know that it doesn't end here. It has so much of a way to go and I know when it's dark it's not always dark. There will be sunrise next day so that keeps me going every day. I love that metaphorical poetic language thank you for that and to ask you then a bit more since you enjoy making content, being an influencer, how do you focus on or try to be like a positive force in people's life as being an influencer and what's your perspective on yourself or other girls who might see other influencers who are flexing lifestyle and photoshop pictures that makes those girls feel so ugly or feel unattractive and not realize their real beauty. Did you struggle with that? And how do you try to be like a ray of sunshine in some way or somehow by being an influencer yourself? In today's world, influencing our social media has a very great impact on the people. And I would say it's mostly in the teenager, as I would say, because they're in the state where there's so much going on inside their body with hormones. And it's like a stage where they don't trust anything, anybody, they feel a lot of emotions inside them. And I think that the influencers who are doing it wrongly should not give that perspective that the person who is watching it feels that they're a bit inferior and shouldn't make the feel that they're ugly because everybody's been so beautiful, everybody is God's creation. So influencing should be of that, that a person who's watching it should feel empowered, that empowered within their skin, their body, their features, whatever they own themselves because everybody is different and that uniqueness is what makes our personality. So, my kind of influencing that I believe is that to make my viewers feel a bit more confident in themselves rather than what they're watching or whom they rely upon or who they see in social media. That is very inspirational. Thank you so much, Aria. And I want to know more. I believe what you're sharing is very, very important. And you are someone from India, people and the culture there is known for working very, very hard, almost sacrificing yourself and families even encourage some of their, you know, descendants, let's say, boys and girls to work very, very hard and you're taking a sabbatical year, a gap year. So how was that experience? Did some people look at you a bit weird like, oh, you're taking a year off. Are you lazy? Or are you a zoomer? Or I don't know how it is. And I understand how important it is to take time to reflect and find yourself. But also you come from a culture where hard work is almost worshiped. So how did you deal with that? That could be a kind of pressure on your mental health. That's really true. Because India is a place where people's opinion matter a lot on your life. And I would say I'm lucky enough that my parents, my family support me in whatever I do. And I'm in a state where I wouldn't want to hear what other people say or other people's opinion matter in my life. I'm really very much lucky for that. So when I decided to take a year break, it would sound a bit funny because I was a person who doubted me at the first. I had so much of emotions going inside of me. I was thinking whether my friends will think she mad that she took three years of degree and after she's wasting, she doesn't know what she's going to do in life. I had this thoughts in my mind and I think it's necessary to take a break when we are not sure about the future because it's much needed that to figure out what we need, what we really need in life, it takes time actually. It's not something, future is not something that we can just play upon. We need to be really much sure about it. So I think this break is going to give me idea upon what I need in my life so that I can be a really successful person. Thank you. And I wanted to discuss a little bit you as a forensic scientist, but even before that, were you and are you the kind of girl who loves to watch murder mysteries and those documentaries about serial killers and all that? Is this part of who you are? Or that's not your way because many girls nowadays, they really, really enjoy such kind of documentaries and series. That's, yeah, it sounds crazy because before I took up this course, I was not into it actually. After I took up this course, I felt, oh, okay, this many things are going around in the world, so much of murder, mysteries and all stuff. So I started to watch documentaries, getting novels. Most of the work is about a real life case because reading mysteries and something which is not real, doesn't impact a lot on the society. And I love watching the real cases and I just think about it, like what would have happened. And I think it's really much, very much interesting and it's an interesting field as well. Thank you. You said it doesn't have much impact on society if it's fictional. How important is it for you to have an impact on society? What does that mean for you when you mention it? How do you describe it as part of what you're interested in? Okay, so fiction is nice to hear, nice to see and we should know that that isn't real because most people who are facing a lot of problems would really want to escape from the reality and go to the fiction and it's not how we should deal with the life because reality is what's happening in our life and to find the real solution to the problem or our life depends upon our thinking and and a way of approaching a problem and fiction, it is just another part. And if we club it together, it's not gonna bring you anywhere. So it should be a more realistic in life. - Thank you. And you studied forensic science. You as an anxious person, doesn't that mess with your mental health a little bit that you keep immersing yourself in crimes and criminals and crime scenes and therefore you might dream about it, worry about it, anywhere you go, you think what crime could happen here? I don't want to be the victim or whatever it is. Tell me a bit more about that experience and your approach to it. - As a forensic student, I was not at all worried after seeing what all I studied or hearing about the crime stories and all those things you mentioned. That's really which get me like, oh my God, am I really not anxious about it? But throughout the journey as a forensic student, I was a bit worried about my studies and I really do get anxiety a lot. So how I deal with it is that I talk to my friends. I talk to people whom I trust. It is very much important in life that you should speak about your programs. If you keep it in a heart, it's just gonna be there and cause a lot more problem. Because when we have a problem, if we share it with someone else, it feels a lot of relieving. And all we need in life is like a person whom we can trust upon or a good person who will listen us, listen up to them and it is a really good blessing. And when I feel anxious, I talk to my friends and my trusted ones and the way they comfort me, their positive, affirmative words that keeps me enlightened and that gives me a kind of good mood, keeps me in a good mood. - Thank you. And I want to uncover a bit of your poetic side. How does poetry relate to you taking care of your mental health? What does it add to your life? How does it enrich your experience? Can you share a bit more about that side of yourself? - So me and poetry, it's not a long-term relationship, I should say. I write poems when I'm in a very bad stage of my life or when I'm facing really big issues. It is like I write what is going on in my mind. In that way, I deal with the situation, I must say. And about the mental health and the habit of writing, I would say it is a really way, a good way to deal with it because we write in our thoughts, whatever it may be, a positive or negative. We just write it off and in that way, it's just going off from our head. And either way, it's benefiting us. So I think good poems or good words are created from what's in the heart. A true poet is writing from her or his heart. So I think poetry is a way of communicating what's going in your head and your thoughts and emotions and all of it. - Thank you. And tell me more about roller skating. I knew as an anxious person to learn how to roller skate. Didn't you struggle with imagining that you'll fall and break a knee or something? And how was that experience? Was it a challenge for yourself? Does it make you feel free, like you're growing wings? Tell me a bit more about that. - It's one of my happiest story from a childhood that I was in fifth grade or sixth grade, I assume. So we just went to the store and it was such an impulsive decision. I said, "My dad said, 'I wanna get this roller skater.'" And my mom was like, as we all know, moms are over-protective. She was like, "Oh no, what are you gonna do? you're gonna fall, how you gonna learn it? I was like, I said, okay, fine, I'm not buying it. And I went to my dad secretly and I was like, dad, I wanna get it. And he was like, okay, fine, let's get it. That's how I got my first roller skater and I still have it with me now. So I got it. I was not scared actually back then. So I just wanted to prove my mom that I can do it. So in that spot of the moment, I took my roller skaters onto the corridors of my flat And with the help of my friends and neighbors, I just within five to six days, I studied how to skate. And that's the story behind it. And still, I love doing it. It feels like I'm bringing back my inner child when I'm skating. - Thank you. I love how poetically you express yourself. It's very eloquent. And to add and finish with this, well, you are a girl who has anxiety, who's an anxious person, but you're also willing to challenge yourself. You spoke a bit earlier how you always know there is next morning and the sun will come back after the night and the darkness. But even further, you said also in India, it's somehow important what people think and what people care about. There are many girls and women who feel stuck in a life that they did not choose based on parents' expectations, families' expectations, even expectations of society or expectations of friends that they didn't even say anything. They just imagine, "Oh, my friends won't even like that," and they don't do it without knowing whether it's real or not. How do you motivate yourself in order to go out of your comfort zone, even if it's hard, and there is like a worry, "What if I make a mistake? What if they make fun of me? What if they judge me?" so that you live up to your potential and learn and discover who you are, And what's your advice for all the girls and women in this world so that they find their confidence and actually live their full potential without limiting themselves by other people's thoughts and judgments? I would say at the end of any point, it's just your life. You are the person who is who need to bear the consequence of your decisions. It doesn't matter what other other people say let it be your loved ones, your close ones, or let it be neighbors or somebody who doesn't belong to you. People have different opinions and it's okay that everybody has their own opinions. So you do, like you also should have your own opinion and just stick with it. Trust the process I would say. Whether you'll be anxious at first, like whether what I'm thinking is right or not, what will other people think of it. If you're sure about it, just go for I would say because when a person takes his or her own decision, the consequence is all upon him. Whether if we take a decision that is on behalf of another person, yet we have to take the consequence of their decision too. So it is our choice to decide whether we want to decide what we want to do or other people's opinion. So I would say that be sure of what you're doing and trust the process and just know that if you're stuck somewhere just know that it is not it's not going to be like this all the way just trust the process and be confident in yourself because I would say that there will be a lot of problems in life so how we deal with the problem decides our story and our story is going to be another person's inspiration it's going to inspired many of the life and so just make sure that your story is worth listening of. Thank you so much Aria. It was my privilege and my honor to share your voice, to use your story, to inspire others and I wish you all the success. I wish you a lot more clarity and peace during this year that gives you a lot more understanding about the future steps you want to take. I wish I wish you to keep inspiring people, developing your influencer and modeling career. And thank you so much for participating. Thank you so much Aziz for your kind words and for having me here today. It was a pleasure talking with you and to share my story towards all the wonderful women out there. And I wish a lot of success for this amazing initiative that you have taken. And I really believe this is going to empower a lot of women. Thank you. You are welcome. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music)
