Episode Transcript
Hello, my name is Aziz and I'm the son of a divorced mother. She is really my superhero. That's why it's important for me to support women to share their uniqueness, their personalities, perspectives, and emotions about life. Too many women in this world feel alone. They worry about the judgment of others and they struggle with their mental health, but when they listen to the Rare Girls podcast, where empowered women share their voices and tell their stories, many women will feel inspired to live a life of freedom and to overcome all insecurities. They will feel it is a safe space to find their confidence, to remember their unique beauty, and to feel their self-worth. And they will connect with the sisterhood of Rare Girls who encourage their success and support their dreams. That's what this podcast is all about. My guest today is Awuna Mary Madel. Currently living in Dubai, United Arab Emirates, Madel loves reading, vibing to music, fun games. She loves to swim and go into the beach and she is a very jovial and fun times kind of person. Born in Kano State and raised in different parts of Nigeria, Madel is part of a family of six with both parents, three brothers, and she is the only girl. Madel grew up raised by a single mother which motivated her to build success as a hairdresser, model, and student. She loves being super busy and creative, especially as part of one of her schools which is the FP Models Academy. Madel, how are you today? I am fine. I'm feeling happy, blessed, always excited to know much more about the great women and girls in this world because each has such a unique personality. There are no two women who think alike or feel alike. There is a huge creativity and divergence within them. So I'll begin with this nice first question. If your friends could describe your personality, what would they say about you and would your friends in Dubai say something different than those in Nigeria? I think my friends here in Dubai are like really, yeah, like sisters to me, you know, because like I left Nigeria, left my siblings everyone. So like, yeah, actually my colleague would work together and then we build our bond and like relationship. So we are cool and they're nice people. So but if I should say them describing me, because I asked a few of them, I asked some of them but like not all of them. So I asked my colleague and she said like, I'm a kind person, amazing person, love to share, love to like being happy environment, love the energy of like positivity and talks like that. And I also got one from my brother, which that one I would like to read it because it seems special to me because you know, it was the last minute that to me was like mind blowing. Yeah, so that one is special and I liked like bring it out. Yes. Yeah. So he said, I will say you're kind, generous, one of the sweetest who I've ever met, hardworking and also beautiful. You're kind, Arbia, and that's why I'm attached to you. You always want to see others around you grow. There's a lot to say about you, but I just love you and you're simple. And I feel like that is just like a simple and fast something to say, you know, you don't, I didn't like, he didn't take him time to like say those things. I asked him immediately, I just dropped the question and he gave the reply. So I think it was special to me kind of. I agree 100%. I love that and I'm happy you have such a relationship with your brother is very important. And I want to know another thing. You're someone who loves to say super busy. You are someone in with an active life. I'm wondering how do you find all the energy in order to work and do extracurricular activities so that you can enjoy life, build friendships and be creative. What do you do so that you have enough energy because a lot of people are exhausted at the end of the day after they go to school or they go to work and they don't take advantage of life as much as they should. I would say mine came, I would say like mine is different, you know, because I've always been a happy person, even when I was a kid. So I love every environment that I am to just like, I wanted busy. I just want to get something doing. If I'm not doing something creative, I want to make my friends, my family laugh. And I just love being busy. And I would say it's not that hard for me to maintain that friendship, you know, because I've always wanted to be an independent woman. So like I know being that woman needs to work and that work, I don't have to like limit like my time for my family or like limit my time for my friends and also try to study, you know, I work like Monday to Friday. And from that Monday to Friday, there's no of like, that is complete in a week. I already have one off in a week, which is Thursday. And that was the I just did it like, go to class. And if I didn't go to class, I just like do it online at home. So I just love being busy. That is like my kind of person. I love being busy. I just, I just don't want to like be calm, because if I if I'm sitting one place, I feel like I'm becoming lazy. So I just want to like move around. I want to do something in this minute, if my hand is not touching something, let like, let me just be doing something just like getting busy down like sitting and just like want to be lazy for the day. I understand that 100%. Thank you for sharing that. And becoming a model, you're someone who went to modeling school who is involved with this. What attracted you to this field? What fulfillment does it give you? What emotions are there? Share a bit more related to that. I would say if I arrived from when I was a child, yeah, I've always had this thing for fashion. I've always liked this things like about modeling, then I wouldn't even say I know it as a model or something. I just know that I want to look beautiful. And like, I've been telling my parents on to become a model, telling my dad on to when he was staying alive, like I want to become a model and everything. And I have two choices, by the way, I wanted to be a lawyer. And then, on the other hand, I just like the passion for fashion for coloring, like clothes and everything is like on the other hand, but I wanted to like do law. So when I lost my dad, everything like wasn't that same, like everything wasn't that easy. So like, I just have to like choose modeling, I just have to like pick one to go with. So like, I just want to focus on one thing. And then I picked modeling. And even like back then in the country, my mom was like, you can't be a model, you know, the country like, you know, the country where we are, like you need connection to be there, you need like some certain people who will like help stretch their hands like elevate you, or people who can promote you in the industry. So she was like, you can't be a model, you can't be a model because your dad is not here anymore. And you know, if you want to change this thing, it's like a lot of work, you need to like stay protected, you need someone to guide you to protect you to make sure that you're working it legically. And it was just a lot. And I had to like, make my decision and say, like, I want to be a model because like, I'm tired of seeing it. I'm tired of like trying to hide it, you know, it's something like I'm trying to hide it, but it's not like letting me it's not like giving me this access to like hide it. So I just have to like, okay, pop on clay. I don't know what is going to happen, but I want to be a model. Yeah, so I think yeah, that was how I just made a decision. Thank you for sharing that. So it's part of your destiny and ambition. And so to know also more how was adapting to the culture and life and Dubai is different from Nigeria. There is some similarity in that you can find busy crowded places and people, but also the culture is different. The people are different. The kind of energy is different. Was it easy for you to adapt? Was it difficult? How were the first months? Okay, the first month when I came to Dubai, I would say like, I would say it's hard because like, I came prepared, you know, I came prepared because like when I was living in my country, my mom mentioned like, I got my agent who started like my accommodation and agents who like secured a job for me. Yeah, so at first I would say like the first two months are not that difficult, but like after then that was when like, I really like, okay, you say you want to like be a brave woman, you say like you want to be independent, you say you want to like be this go getter kind of woman. Okay, this is the time because like when I came to Dubai, I came with like me having my condition, me getting a job. So like during COVID that was 2020. So during COVID, I lost the job and that was when like I started, you know, because like my deal with the agent is like don't don't he gave me accommodation, gave me my job. And along the line, I think I misplaced my SIM card because I was, I removed my Nigerian SIM card and then in start my Dubai SIM card. So I couldn't find the Nigerian SIM card and I'm not being in touch with this agent. So I don't have this contact. So like that was where I started like pushing. I started pushing like, okay, let me see what's, what's you can like do with this situation. And I just tried to be strong, just try to be vibrant, you know, to stay active and like not forget the plan. So yeah, that was how like it was for me. Like the first two months is not that hard, but like along the line, it was hard. And then before like I ended up doing like a home service because I'm a hairstylist, so I'm skilled, you know. So I started doing like my home service, started going to like houses, making people's hair and then like taking my money on. So I got a job, a proper job in this column. That's very, very important. You took risks, a lot of risk in life. What's your advice to a lot of women who feel stuck in their comfort zone, who might worry a lot and are not taking the risks to build their dream, lives and goals? What motivated you and how can they push themselves forward? This question is like, it's actually interesting because one thing you should know as a woman is that you own yourself, you know, the moment you realize that you own yourself, the happiness you deserve, then the moment you know that everything is going smoothly for you, everything's like, everything will go smoothly with you because like people can't come to your life, okay, don't get me wrong. People, you can have people in your life that make you happy. You can have like your spouses that make you happy, but that's happy. We just generalize it. We like generalize it like someone coming to our life and giving us happiness, but I just don't see it that way. I see it like I own myself happiness and someone can just come to my life and make me even more happier. But in the first place, I own myself. So like there's no how being in a situation where I will just like let it hold me there long. So I just try to be positive with my day regardless of like everything that will be going on for that day or like things that have happened or things that hurt me or like things that make me feel uncomfortable. I still like do not let it like weigh me down. I just try to like say positive things to myself and then move on, you know, look ahead of like what just happened. So that's how like I managed to push myself. And sometimes if I feel like it's too heavy for me, if I feel like I'm trying everything and it's not working, then like I can look for someone I trust to like talk to. I just want to say something. I'm this type of person that when I have something going on in my mind, right, I just don't know how to keep it. I don't know how to keep it. So I will just try to make sure that I express myself. I don't mind if I will cry. I don't mind if like to make me upset for like some time. I don't just want to know, but I just want to let everything out and just like be myself. If I feel like crying, I cry. If I feel like, okay, you don't have to cry for everything. I just like hold it together and maybe talk to like my friends, my family, you know, sometimes call my mom. And most of the times I do my affirmations, you know, I do my affirmations and then it helps me a lot. And I would say every woman should like put their self in like this or like call it like in the cycle. They should just put their self in the cycle where they should be like guided. So they should guide yourself first before like trying to do all the stuffs like just be super protective of yourself. You know, that's what I'm trying to say. One hundred percent. And thank you so much for sharing that. And I'm curious, how did you evolve as a person since the time you were living in Nigeria and you were already an active person and needing to struggle away from family in Dubai and to build a new life? Did you feel you increase your confidence, you become more mature? What are some of the thinking and some of the ways that you are different now as a woman? I would say it's hard. It's hard because like I used to be like a girl dad because like I mean like that is girl. So I lost my dad. Like it's a different it's a different pain from for me. It gets like the pain was just like too much. I'm the only girl and like I'm super close to my dad. I literally tell my dad more secrets than my mom, you know, when he was sitting there. So losing him was like something that like got me like really, really, really upset and made me traumatize that. I just don't want to live in that environment. I just don't want to live in that environment because everything reminds me of like him and like how we live. So living in Nigeria is quite hard because like regardless I still have friends there. My cousins are there, my siblings are there, my mom is there back in Nigeria. But I just feel like I need a space, you know. I feel like I need a space. So like living there is hard because like sometimes I just call my mom and cry so that I miss her. Because I was just thinking like I want to take a break. I didn't know that like I would come here and then like get like a different view of life. I just thought like okay let me just come and like spend maybe six months or something. Let me just do a part-time job and go back. But when I came like everything like the hard work, the environment, everything just like taught me like a great lesson that made me want to stay. And I still miss home. I miss home. I miss my siblings. We talk every day but I would say Nigeria is still okay, you know. It's still okay and I can't decide if Nigeria or Dubai, I can't decide. But it's a brave move, you know, to leave your family and then come this place where like you don't know anyone. You're just like starting up. It's just like you literally starting a new life. You're starting a new life literally. So I would say like it's a brave move and I'm proud of myself for that. And my mom still say that to me like she's proud of me for like you know trying to like adapt to things, you know. I don't like sitting in a place where I will be comfortable. I just like want to keep like pushing or like try to manage space for me to be comfortable. And when I get comfortable at this place, I will still want to be like adventurous. I still want to like get something doing. I never like let myself like get too comfortable. So I feel that helped me but I'm gonna say the brave move is a brave and a very brave move. That's just what I have for you. I agree and I salute you very much for that. And to finish, is there any life lesson or advice that you can give to other women that you believe is important to think about, to remember, to use so that they live a better and happier life? It's just like you need a time for yourself. You need like time to seat yourself, talk to yourself like how did you want your life to be? How did you want to, how did you just want to like react, you know. So you just sit yourself down, talk to yourself, listen to yourself and just like decide on like the path that makes you happy. Depend on like things that like bring joys to you, things that like make you have this butterfly in your tummy. If you feel like going to the gym, it will help you. It's fine if you feel like okay hanging out with friends. But just do things because what I believe is that if you love yourself enough, if you love yourself enough, you'll be able to like carry yourself everywhere, you know. And you will be like protective of like people that come to you because like you can't give love when you don't have love, when you don't even love yourself. You get it. You have to love yourself that much to have extra to like give out. So if you're not loving yourself, you're hating yourself, like you discipline yourself, you're being harsh yourself, you're being mean to yourself. I feel like you don't have any love to give and even if you're giving love outside, it's not genuine. Because like maybe that maybe you just like get excited and the excitement is a temporary one that okay maybe after this place the excitement is over. So you need your inner peace to like acquire others, you know. You need like your inner peace. You need to be at peace with yourself. You need to like accept yourself. You need to be like be proud of yourself. You need to like say a word of information to yourself. Like things that will help motivate you, things that will help you, that will make you feel beautiful, you know. Some people don't even like know where like their frustrations are coming, you know. There was a time I was advising a friend about affirmations. She was like the words are big. I was like what do you mean like the words are big? She like she can't be saying all these things and like not getting money. I said listen, you saying affirmation doesn't mean oh affirmation I will be great, I mean I will be rich. It's not what you need. Just say things about like yourself, self-love. Like when you comfort yourself, when you when you comfort yourself, you you see like the love will come from inside, you know. The love will come from inside. So I believe every woman should just learn how to like love themselves. Love yourself enough to give love outside. That's what I feel. Absolutely fantastic advice. Thank you so much model for being part of this project. Sharon, your voice, your experience, your story, it matters. It's inspiring, it's essential and I know you will listen back to this every few months and remember and notice your evolution over time. Thank you again for participating and for sharing your story. Welcome. Thank you too and I really enjoyed this because you know sometimes you just like need somewhere to like pull your mind. I would like to say I was nervous at first like when we wanted to start. I was just like okay now that I'm about to do this like let me just let myself do it you know. Maybe it will help me feel more released, you know. It will help me gain my confidence that I'm able to like share this to like someone that I don't know. So I feel like it will help boost something in me. You know I share things with like people I trust and I'm super protective of myself that I mind the kind of people I have around me. I want people that would care for me because like I'm really sporty. I'm really sporty. I'm the only girl and I have like several brothers. I have like three biological brothers and like cousins, nephews, all boys. So like I'm super sporty. So I try to keep that energy you know how they brought me up so with love and caring, pumpers, everything. So I just try to like maintain that energy. So I'm super protective of people I allowed in my cycle. So I want somebody that will be like correct me. Yeah like when I'm wrong you correct me and if I'm doing well maybe you like give me my flowers and like let me know that I'm doing well. I love that energy and such cycle. You're doing very well and thank you again for participating. Thank you so much.
