Episode Transcript
Hello, my name is Aziz and I'm the son of a divorced mother. She is really my superhero. That's why it's important for me to support women, to share their uniqueness, their personalities, perspectives, and emotions about life. Too many women in this world feel alone. They worry about the judgment of others and they struggle with their mental health but when they listen to the Rare Girls podcast where empowered women share their voices and tell their stories, many women will feel inspired to live a life of freedom and to overcome all insecurities. They will feel it is a safe space to find their confidence, to remember their unique beauty and to feel their self-worth. And they will connect with a sisterhood of rare girls who encourage their success and support their dreams. That's what this podcast is all about. My guest today is Miriam Guida. Miriam is an Italian bartender in Dubai, United Arab Emirates. She settled in Dubai after traveling a lot in Europe to cities like Paris, London, Valencia and Barcelona. Miriam is also a certified personal trainer as well as an experienced pole dancer. She loves to travel and to do photography. Miriam is a good student. She loves to learn and to grow up professionally. Miriam, how are you today? Hello. So good, so good. I'm like exhausted because yesterday was so crazy day but I feel so good. Thank you. You're welcome and I have then a question about that because that's going to be great. Yesterday was very busy and exhausting for you. How does it work for you? Are you in flow so much that you're like I love it. I love that being busy is just like so much fun which is good or is it like some people who I know will be like I love it but I think I need also sometimes a break and to go travel and break the routine so that everything will be back to happy again. I think that I chose my life and I chose this job so I think it's part of the game and I love to be busy because also I just work in a cocktail bar so it's like the music is loud, people and you just meet a lot of people and yeah it's like this even of course at the end of the day and sometimes like so exhausted also a mental part but I think it's part of the game so I love it and also just I travel a lot for work and I chose it again so I think I love my life even I think always it's like a balance so we need some break but yeah it's time also for that not, I'm not worried about that. So yeah, for now I'm exhausted, but I'm so happy. I'm happy for you. And I noticed you said that you chose your life and it's part of the game. A lot of women nowadays maybe did not choose their life. They follow what society expects, what parents tell them, etc. And for them to choose their life, it would be like a big, brave decision. Did you always have this ability to break the rules and do what you want all your life? Or before you are a bit more weak and then you develop your how to be strong? And in general, what motivates you to be able to do what you want to choose what you want, without worry that maybe some people will not like it? I'm so lucky because I grow with a family, with parents that led me to be free, led me to be myself. For example, all my body is inked, all my body have tattoos and I love it because I love art and I choose the art of the artist for sure. By the way, I have one of my favorite artists, is also my friend. I choose that it was her because she's a artist, so is a woman. I choose that her gonna ink at me, even because I think that we have just to be sisters with another artist that make art like me. So I'm yeah, I'm so lucky because my parents just let me to be free, let me to be myself. I was brave when I was younger, but I think it's part of my personality. Yeah, I was like every time of my life and my parents accept this. So I think it's, I'm so lucky only this. And I'm so sad when, for example, I just heard people that, yeah, but my mother told me that I have to go to university because like this, I can just make a life that they want because sometimes like parents just push to the student to make something that they don't want, but they maybe wouldn't so just push them to make something that is not in their personality. So in this case, yeah, I'm just so, so lucky. And my parents, also my father, just because maybe in Italian, for example, in Italy, the father is like more protective and my father always pushed me to, Yeah, go, go, go. You have to make experience. So yeah, I just grew in a family that is like so open in this part. - That's absolutely fantastic. I'm very happy that you had that experience. And you said your body is inked to you. How is that emotion of creating art on your body? Is it because you want to not be mainstream and normal? you want to be unique in your way? Is it different that you love art so much, you want to have it with you at all times and never be far away from it? What is it about you that makes ink and tattoos on your body and expression of who you are? And how would it feel if you had a body that you couldn't have tattoo on? What will be missing so that I understand the psychology? - By the way, now, for example, you are brave. if you are not thinking. Now it's like this. But for example, I just start to make tattoos at 14, but with my father because I just win like a bet. So for example, for like school, because I go student, but I don't like math. It's not I don't like because I love math, I love numbers and for sure in my free time I just make the expression like all this kind of things but I was not for that. I'm just like more literature, creativity. So it's like this part of personality. And yeah, I just went with him and told me, okay, just what do you want like gift? Yeah, a tattoo. It was a what happened here? And yeah, but then it's not like aesthetic for me. It's just tell my story, tell my story or just put like a diary of my travel, my memories like this, it's hard. So for example, I just choose so well the people that I want to just to be, to be Inger. and these friends, I just met them. I just met her to pole dance. So we were like a pole dancer and one day I just saw her and I don't know why like my mind like click. I want to be just in get from, and I don't know what is the, also we are so friends now. I don't know, but it was like a click and all my body is thinking from her, but for me it's like tell a story. And if you want to tell a story to someone, you have to trust her because it's like all this is emotion. All this is like also pain situation, painful situation that I live. So yeah, just I want to trust someone that I know that explain and express in her heart all my emotions. - That's really, really poetic. And there is an idea that some people who don't know, they think if a woman like you or a girl loves to travel, loves to meet a lot of people, loves to be inked, loves new emotions, then she cannot be a good student because she will get bored easily. She doesn't have friends for a long time because she wants always new, crazy people. And that always for the next new thing, shiny object, not no stability. Can you explain in your life and in your emotions, do you have both parts? How does it work for you? Because again, like you are seen as a rebel and therefore always like going after new things but never having any stability. How does it work for you? - Okay, the thing of the stability is like, I think it's just heard a lot of time, for example, when I just change work, okay? because for example, before to be here, I make, of course, I was in Barcelona and I was working just great place. But I was like so bored because I need, I'm so ambitious. So I need just to be stimulated to motivate. And Barcelona, for example, it was not more this kind of motivation that I needed. So I just wanted to change. And for example, in an interview, this person told me, "But don't you want stability? What is for you stability?" For me, it's this stability. It just have an idea, just follow my emotion, follow my impulsive personality. And if I know that this kind of job is not more for me because don't add nothing to me. For me, it's stability to just follow my still, just to say, okay, now I know I'm cautioned that I need something, I need something different. And for the reason for me, stability is this, but most of the time stability is to be like the society's is I think is like so straight for that. And told you, you have to stability is university, good job, home, well, for sure you have to buy a home because you have, and family. And now for example, stability for me, it just to be caution the who you are and happy of who you are. And for this, you can just meet right people. If you're just sad or upset, or you don't want to stay in the same place that you stay, it's not stability because your mental health is not good. So for me, it's this. Even I just had this crisis, because for example, my mom was mother at night, 20 so so young my mother is so young my parents so young and we are free so my sister my sister is like the uh society stability type is like yeah and also my my my brother and we are we are so um We are young because my father, my brother is a small than me, have 26, 27. So I am 28. He is 27. So we are so young, but they're like stability type for the society and the black sheep. But yeah, for my mother, I think it was like this kind of stability, but pushed me to be another type. So I'm so happy like this. For me, stability is this. If you have stability here, you can just, I think you win. I agree. And you mentioned that your society is black sheep. A lot of women are very afraid of that, that the other people judge them, that they will be isolated if they're black sheep. Can you share that experience? Maybe it's not as bad as I imagine. And how can you encourage other women to embrace their black sheep personality if deep down they want to not to have the same stability as you, which is to follow their instinct and ambition, rather than the stability society tells them, but they think, Oh, no, if I'm black sheep, everybody hates me, I'll be alone. And then I was, you know, something bad will happen or whatever. For example, I was in Barcelona, I was not a bad experience, but just a strange experience in the work, in my job with male people, so it's like with guys. Because yeah, my job is like a little bit struggle in this kind of things. And I didn't accept some just attitude from them. So for me, just this is to be a black sheep. And I'm so proud of it. Because when I was just young, I was like not worried but I just listened to people that judged me and this and this and this and I think it was so so sad for me because before I didn't like to stay to a lot of people for this to just have fair and to be afraid to be judged. But now I don't care about that. I anchor that in two different language. I don't care. Two different language I anchor that because I think that the people have to just understand that I don't care about their if like a cost with judgment is good. But it's like only to be, oh my gosh, why you are like this, for me is not important. So, and I think that this kind of, of action, or just say, no, I don't want, or no, I don't think it's like this, or no, I'm not agree. This is like to be brave. And just to start from this, to think how you want to be. I think this is kind of brave that we need in our society. I agree with you 100%. It's about setting boundaries. And I want to link it to pole dance. How do you feel when you're pole dancing? Does it allow you to meet other Black sheep people so you build your community of Black sheep? And just for you, because to some people, they think that your ambition, your drive, your ability to say no has a lot of masculine energy. How does Paul Dantz maybe balance your feminine energy? How does it feel for you? Do you feel safe to be feminine? Or you think if I'm feminine, other people will like take advantage of it. Can you share a bit more about that? I start pole dance after the record. Someone broke my heart and I had just a not depression, but just a kind of sadness. And I didn't want to just eat blah blah blah and these kind of things. And I start to just start sport. I want to be like sportive, even because I didn't like me. So my body blah blah blah. I have this kind of problem when I was younger. And I just I started to make pole dance like random because I didn't know about that. But I don't want, I didn't want to be more feminine, but I did just make acrobatic because pole dance is not the pole dance that people seem to see in the nightclub or just dance. Pole dance is like acrobatic to in a pole that is like three meters. So you have just to have, you have so strength just to go up and put your face just to see the floor. And this is so scary and this is so difficult. And for me was this, I want to be like adrenaline. I start from this, then it was like also my body start to change because you are so strong and you have just to training a lot. For example, I just achieved to make like a flag, like these kinds of things that I don't know how many men can make a flag. So that is like so strong. But yeah, I started this for this kind of adrenaline. So just to be acrobatic. And I love acrobatic, I love acrobatics, I love this kind of sport. So it was for this, but I think people have a wrong thinking about the pole dance because pole dance also is like an art, it's like dance, it's dancing, but with a prophecy, it's dancing, it's a sport because now it's not Olympic sport, but they may like championships. So it's a sport and I'm so happy because now it's not like a taboo. Before it was when I was starting my mom was like what the fuck what is this? And my father was like okay it's accepted because my father accepts all my choice but it was like a little bit, just contrite, it's normal. But then just step by step, also in my gym it was a big part of pole dancing, so a lot of pole and yeah, but step by step it was like less taboo and I'm so happy of this because I think people have to just express the creativity, express the art, express with them bodies, so why not? Thank you. And I agree with you, women should be free to express themselves in any way and without taboos, whether it's pole dance or inking or anything. You mentioned a lot expressing yourself through art. Can you explain in general, how does that work within your personality? Because I believe it's something very important for you, maybe even as a bartender you show it or in any way, what is it? Do you feel you are art or your personality is art or art is showing your soul and you try to express it? You spoke also about how that shows a lot of trust. Does it mean that when you show yourself and express with art you're saying I'm choosing to trust and not feel afraid in this universe? I don't know but how do you experience that as a person? For example, for me, my body is like an art, making it from an artist, because for sure. And for me, also, I was a bartender, because you have to express yourself in some way. And someone makes you express yourself with their job, someone with photography, I love photography for example and I make, I love also also with the phone I'm not, but it's details and also creativity is to find details in something that for example for another person it's completely normal but find these details that for you just express something in your soul. And for example, as bartender, it also connects all your experience just to express what do you feel in this moment. Like an example, I make a competition for a brand of Ron. And I was thinking about what they have to do, blah, blah, blah. And I link it, all my experience, all my memories in a cocktail that is like my favorite cocktail. This is a simple, I think it's more simple this than another. It's like because I love daiquiri. Daiquiri is only rum, sugar, and lime. More simple than this. And from this I just want to create something that for me was important. And also this is creativity. It's not something from zero, because this is also so good, so good, but also just to change something that exists to be in your own, in your own time, in your own personality, and express yourself from something that exists, but it's mine. For me, it does. I love that very, very much. Thank you. And you said, as a bartender, as a bartender, you love meeting a lot of people. And so to you, when you're meeting people, is it because you express your uniqueness in every drink that you make them and you notice how their faces look, their happiness, their mood, and you're like, yes, now I impacted them. I'm like an artist that gave them a piece. Or is it different that it's like discovering new cultures and traveling? You love to hear their stories, learn from them, feel that you're discovering new places, or how does it go for you when you are meeting a lot of people? What's your favorite thing about it? Meeting people I think is like always an experience because you just have different life, different experience, different culture. I make cocktail because it's my passion, for sure is my job but it's my passion so when I for example make a cocktail that I love people just like I don't know but look my face that I love this but always because when I make cocktail I make cocktail for the guests but for me first for me because I love how my body express also when you shake it. All people and each people have a different shake it. And also the your face. I'm so serious when I just for example I don't know why and people tell me you have to smile but I'm so serious but because I'm just thinking about the thing that I have to make so I'm so focused not because I don't want to smile. I love smiling even. I'm always smiling in my work, just dancing and smiling and it's not only a job for me, it's like my life. But not when I just meet people, for me it's just discover something of this person. It's like personality, the life experience. Even when just we are busy, busy, busy, it's not completely possible to make this. But just to also when you just see a person and I don't know, you like the way that's dress and you just can also can I don't know can know the personality more or less because for example if you see me in I don't know in in the road I'm just eccentric personality because also for my from my way to work so yeah I love this kind of thing because you always make an experience. Good and bad for sure, but it's like experience. Thank you. And so you going from all those different European cities to live in Dubai and work in Dubai, did you have an adaptation to the different weather and culture and people? Or was it actually really lovely because you meet people from all over the world so you feel you're traveling everywhere every day? Or how was that experience of adapting to a new place, new culture? For example, I just, I'm so good at adapting in all situations, even because I just try to analyze myself in a situation. So it's not, yeah, you have to adapt, but you have to adapt your personality. So for example, it's like an example, when I choose to come to Dubai, I was all I just was ready for work for all because it was for the visa and in my baggage, all my clothes were so different from my personality. But I choose them, of course, because I didn't know about how Dubai was free and open, because it's not like other Arabic countries. So it was like, okay, I can just express my personality, but in a way. So it's just, okay. And when I was around here, all people, the way of personality and the way to close of people it was like okay so I can express myself how I want and for the reason I just change and adapt just not in a minute but in a day just okay I know and I just see how it can work and see yeah for the reason just for example in Italy my adaptation is not so good but because I'm so eccentric. I'm so excited. I also had the way to close. For me it was more difficult to adapt it. In my country, they did another. Because in your country, all people know you. And if you change, it's so weird. It's like people start to look like, "What's happened here?" and want to know. In another country, you are yourself. People don't know about yourself. So if you want, you can change personality in other countries that you can go. For me, it's better like this. Even I'm just the same because I don't want to change my personality. But for example, in In Italy, I have to control it. And in another country, no. I'm free to be myself at 100%. That's great advice. I agree with you. Changing an environment can help you be totally free and open in yourself. And to finish this, I know you spoke a little bit about it, but I want more. There are some women, though maybe ambitious like you, but they have anxiety and worry, they think, what if I'm not perfect and I make a mistake? if I follow my ambition or they think if I do something and then I'm far away from the people who love me or my family and then I die alone or whatever, or they even think far away, like you said, people will be worried because they hear about her and they're like, "Oh my God, you're so ambitious now. "What happened to you? "Are you okay?" And anything like that. So what's your advice to women so they live to their potential and go for their ambition without worrying too much and thinking about the bad things that could happen in a very small percentage of probability? - It's normal to be this kind of thinking, of course. And it's normal to be worried the first time that you go away, you go up road. But I think that start to try step by step. For example, before to live for France, it was my first experience abroad. I made like experience far from my family, but in Italy. Okay, it was like, I don't know, three months of the summer. And I just, when you're alone, far from your family, far from all relative, far from your friends, You just start to think alone, to think for yourself because maybe sometimes people is worried for the judge of the family. It's not about yourself. It's about the family, the relatives, all people that you're so close. So my advice is for first step, speak. speak loud and express yourself speaking because I every time said if you don't speak people don't know if you don't speak your point of view people can't know it's this because we don't read the we don't read the mind so it's like this. So speaking and just make like a plan of yourself and I think the question that I made most of the time when I was in down, I was what do you want to do? What do you want to be? And speak with yourself. What do you want to be? I want to be this or I don't like this kind, this part of my personality. I want more, I don't know, I want to be more disciplined. And just to take action and just to go abroad. I didn't think so much because if you think so much you you don't do anything because all the negative questions are going to be alive so for the reason just impulsive and one thing that I learned is When you are attentive, you are just thinking with your heart. When you are more fair, you are afraid, you are thinking with your mind. So the thing is, when you are impulsive, your heart means that you want this kind of things. you want these things, you want to be this. So why not? Is the mind and the mind is like so in a case it's so I don't know what is in English just to follow the society so it's not 100% your personality You heard, yeah, distinctive, yeah, but the mental thinking is not 100% from you, but it was also from the society, from your parents, from your relatives, so we just create a thinking on this kind of thinking. So yeah, just impulsive. You have to use impulsive, You have to learn to use impulsive because I think it's the real part of yourself. Thank you so much Miriam. I agree with you. More women should follow their instincts, their impulses, follow their ambitions so that they can truly express their real selves and live through their soul and to their personality, not trying to change just for some people to like them. I appreciate you participating in this podcast. Thank you for sharing your voice, your experience. Thank you so much to invite me and it was like a so great opportunity. I love these kind of things because I think it's some I can help someone and maybe if someone just listen this can we make this click that I had some time ago so you are welcome (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music)
