Episode Transcript
Hello, my name is Aziz and I'm the son of a divorce mother. She is really my superhero. That's why it's important for me to support women to share their uniqueness, their personalities, perspectives, and emotions about life. Too many women in this world feel alone. They worry about the judgment of others and they struggle with their mental health, but when they listen to the Rare Girls podcast where empowered women share their voices and tell their stories, many women will feel inspired to live a life of freedom and to overcome all insecurities. They will feel it is a safe space to find their confidence, to remember their unique beauty and to feel their self-worth, and they will connect with the sisterhood of rare girls who encourage their success and support their dreams. That's what this podcast is all about. My guest today is Aya De Quiros. Aya is a courtside reporter, performance marketer, and VC and tech head of marketing who's worked in teams across Singapore, London, Manila, and Dubai. She has worked with the top three media companies in the Philippines and has also worked with the likes of Disney, Samsung, and other brands. Aya, how are you today? How you doing? Doing great. So happy to be here. I feel blessed, honored, and lucky to have you here and looking forward, totally excited about this interview, but I'll begin with a nice usual first question just to help you relax, which is, if your friends could describe your personality, what would they say about you? - They'd say more than three words for sure, as the usual, you know, three words. No, I think they would say, oh, she's a bundle of joy, very bubbly, and makes everyone feel like they've known me for ages. I like to believe at least. (laughs) - Great, I have so many questions just about that. But first, biologically our brain was evolved to look out for danger and negativity because it's more important to survive than to be happy, which we are against, but that's how the evolution happened. So were you always positive? Were you inspired by your parents or mother or someone like that, or did you do things on purpose in order to train yourself to become a bundle of joy? How did that happen? - Right, thanks for that question. I think I get readings a lot to be fair. I've met a lot of like clairvoyant people and they've all told me I had an aura of yellow orange, which is usually very vibrant and bubbly as is. So it could be something that I've always been, I guess born with, but it also helps to be Filipino and to be part of a, I guess, known in the entire world as the happiest people in the world. So it's culturally embedded, embedded my own family, and in my daily life, I guess, with praying and having that positive mindset, I guess, of maintain it all throughout. - Thank you. That's very interesting, and that you mentioned too about the clairvoyant people. What's your perspective on how life works? Are you a very spiritual human being? Do you believe in destiny? Do you believe that maybe you are the one who's manifesting all of the universe just to teach you lessons? Or what is the way that you see the world as someone who believes that there is something beyond the material physical things? - Wow, this is only the second question Aziz, come on now. But I'll try to answer. I am very spiritual. I was born and raised Catholic, I still practice that. but I do believe that everything else, like everything from like crystals, and again, clairvoyant people are all sort of blessings and all somehow interconnected. I have this unique perspective that God is just, all four gods are just the, still the same God, but just different like mirrors of him. Everything is interconnected, everything is goodness. And I do believe in the cheesy stuff, you know, I believe in soulmates and destiny, even just meeting you and being on this podcast and resonating a lot with, I guess, our own personal journeys. I think that's all interconnected. So, yeah. - I agree 100% and I want to extract more wisdom from that that can help other women. So let's say there is something, you know, of course we don't want it to happen, but negative thing that happens and you feel down. Well, how do you get yourself back up into that good mood? Is it because you think about it and you think, Yes, this is a lesson that I will grow because of it. Or you think, well, maybe it's negative now, but I know that within this negative something positive will come out of it. Or you think, yes, this is a test just to see how strong I am. I don't know what allows you or how do you go through your mind so that you don't go into a vicious cycle of overthinking and instead use it as a virtual cycle in order to get back up stronger and happier. I'm not going to tell everybody that I'm like the most perfect person. I think we all have, we all go through our winters and summers and springs. And it's a constant thing in life to always learn and try to be positive. But actually recently a new friend that I found here in Dubai has told me, when you look at problems, you don't look at them as problems, you see them as opportunities. And I call them proper-tunities or proper-tunities. And that has stuck with me ever since. And every single minuscule or great thing that is terrible that's happened to me, I always say, this is not a problem. This is a opportunity for me to grow, for me to learn, and to see it as a good thing and something for my growth and not that is against me. - Thank you for that. I love that word that you introduced into the conversation. It's very, very cool. And I noticed throughout what we discussed so far that you use metaphors a lot, which makes me think maybe you have an artistic side or into poetry or you read a lot. Can you share a bit more about that? Because sometimes people are too busy in order to nourish their soul with art and with other things that are essential to happiness, but they forget because they're too busy making a living to nourish their soul. Is this correct? What do you do? What is your perspective on it? - I really appreciate that you've noticed that because yes, I am. I was introduced to reading before I got into television. And actually just today I painted and I'm reconnecting with my, with painting and I've always been into art. And I also just went to Alsico Avenue like last night. So whenever I am down, I think it's what grounds me. And I just feel like ayah ayah, you know, like myself again. And that has not happened in any kind of outlet except art. - Thank you. I actually have two questions. This is so interesting. Let me start with the one that I had in mind since the beginning when you spoke about your ability to make people feel like they've known you all their lives, et cetera. I'll ask it from two different ways because you believe in soulmates and all that. So how does that process happen? Do you believe that maybe you are a queen a thousand years ago and you met the same people and they're different guys and personas and you're reincarnated today just to play the next evolution of your life? Or do you believe in that soul family that every single soul you'll meet in your life you met somewhere else before and agreed on the lessons or the love you'll share together? Or is it simply that you believe that your ability to be soft and a good person and the good vibrations and frequency that you emit makes people relax and feel safe and so they open up? Or all of the above, how does it work for you? Can you share a bit more about that? A lot to impact there. Also, I do think, yes, my mom has told me this theory that apparently everybody that you cross paths with, you cross paths with in your previous lives in any kind of shape or form. So your friends are your friends from way back, your enemies, quote unquote, or also enemies back then, but I do believe in like old souls, new souls. But also, yeah, I guess it would just build the latter part of making people feel like their best selves with me. I try again, people are probably going to listen to this and be like, she made me feel terrible, but I hope not. But I just want people to be their authentic selves, and to be funny, and to tell them something nice about their outfit or their eyes or, and like them being genuine things too, because I think, again, you know, the world is already crazy and bad as it is. And if you can make someone's day by complimenting them on how their hair looks or their work ethic, I think that makes the world of a difference. I agree 100%. I believe life is so much better when you are a good person, because then you see the goodness in the world. But if you're constantly paranoid in scarcity in protection mode, while you expect other people to be evil and the right people, the good people will be repulsed by that energy and you keep attraction psychopaths by trying to protect yourself. The world is very ironic in that sense. And you mentioned just earlier when you spoke about your artistic side, you said, I feel like ayah ayah, the real you. Well, there are many people, including women, who might suffer from people pleasing, from living up to the expectations of other people, and they are distanced from their real selves and they wouldn't know how to get there or how to recognize it? Is it them being them or being a living replica of what their teachers told them or their parents or people growing up? So two things. What's your advice to women so that they connect with their real selves? And two, how does it feel when you are the real you? And how can another person use that to recognize when they connect with their true selves? I mean, I'm again, I'm not going to toot my own horn and say that I don't have those days. I think it's a constant cycle of reminding yourself that being genuine will get you to places and it will make you stay in those places, like they said, right? Like ambition can get you there or hardworking get you there, but you as a human being, your personality and your heart is what will make you stay in a good place because of how you treat people, et cetera. And that's essentially how the world works from finance to art to relationships. And I guess so my advice would be to really reflect on everything from traumas to how you present and project yourself. We can always say that we're healed, we're A-OK, but actually we're projecting the complete opposite. And again, I've seen myself go through this several times. And so it's a matter of feeling it and presenting the same thing and making sure that's all in alignment with, again, goodness and soul. I like that very, very much. And I'm really curious now for you to share your story, really. What have you been yearning for all your life? How did you chase it throughout your journey so far? What were the stages of it? How did you align deeper and more accurately with goodness in this world. Just share the story of Aya because you seem to have had a very interesting journey and therefore such a gift that you have given yourself by believing in yourself and taking risks to move forward is always worth sharing. Wow. I think Aya's journey is still in the middle of it all. I mean, I've had, again, such an amazing blessed life prior, but there's so many things happening at this point in time in my life, and I still have my whole life ahead of me, a touch wood. I think most of it is really being my truest self, being in my balanced feminine and masculine, knowing what I really want to do. Again, I'm still on that journey, but it's about also relaxing and smelling, you know what they say, like stopping and smelling flowers. I have this tendency and I think a lot of people in today's age are very fast, they're very, "What's next? What's next?" We don't get to be present and enjoy what's happening right now. And I think with all the amazing things I've been able to do, sometimes I realize, "Huh, I wish I'd enjoyed that bit a bit better had I only, again, been more present." And so I think that's the Aya journey right now, being present. I love that because presence is such a gift and such a beautiful thing. It allows us actually to expand the day. When you are present, the day feels long and rich and fulfilling. When you're not present, then a whole month feels like half a day and life passes. Yes, yes, actually. Thank you. I agree with you 100% and it's about, because all we have is today, it's just today. The past is like memories. The future, of course, we're building an exciting vision, but we should make today as rich and long and fulfilling as possible rather than a blip in the radar, which is not very exciting. And I want to know a bit more you said about balancing your feminine and your masculine. Can you share a bit more about that in two ways. One, how are you when you feel in your most feminine? What does that mean to you? How do you go into your masculine? Is it comfortable for you? Because I interviewed some women who say life forces us to be in our masculine as women. That's what they say. And it feels like a burden. They have to do it. And often they might forget even how to feel safe in their feminine because life demands so much masculinity out of them and they wish they could go fully in their feminine or increase it a bit more well to you. What is that attempt at the balance? I notice your humility or always saying I'm not perfect, I'm not perfect, yes, we're human, we are on this journey. If you know about like yoga practices or even Buddhist practices, when people become perfectly enlightened, they're supposed to die in that point in time because perfection is not supposed to be attainable within this human life. So in your imperfection, in your perfect imperfection, what is your masculinity? What is your femininity? And what is the balance you're trying to strike? I struggle with this a lot, I'll be honest. I'm still not at that point, again, of being able to balance the masculine and feminine. And even I try to think, is it dependent on the environment, on the scenario, on who I'm with? I've noticed a huge difference from how I was in Manila to Dubai. Is it because of literally just walking in the street and having more dangers there compared to here? Is it because of the people that I'm surrounded with? Is it because I'm much more fulfilled in what I do and where I feel like I belong, which is here in Dubai? And yeah, I think is it also relational and I come from a sports background. I've always worked in a "male" industry or even just media. It can be very hectic, fast paced and again, dealing with athletes or males all the time. And you have to assert yourself for you to be taken seriously. It comes with the age. I was always the youngest female in all my roles. And so it's like, I need to balance it in a way wherein I am getting masculine traits, but still honest and true to myself and therefore still being in my feminine. And so it's a journey still for me. And when I have a better answer for that, I will knock at your door and let you know. But I think I'm enjoying that journey now of finding my Ayah's version of balancing the two. Thank you so much, Ayah. I love what you're describing and I can really, really, absolutely, I can resonate with it. And so I notice as well that you keep your energy radiant, and your ability to be sunny, that doesn't come out of thin air. What do you do in order to heal any temporary blockages or any setbacks that life gives you so that you feel at your best, so that you can live at your best and give other people the best version of yourself? I think it's all about intention. Again, like you mentioned about people pleasing. If you're doing something good, is it to please other people? Or is it something that you inherently want to give? Is it out of generosity and genuine connection? I've recently, I feel like there was I was projecting, apparently, I was projecting something else completely different. And this person would bless him, but he's very communicative and told me, you know, it's actually XYZ. And when he explained it in such a way, it was a breakthrough moment for me. Because I felt so sorry, because I genuinely thought that I was, I was doing I was being good. And I was I I was projecting good energy, but in fact, I was operating a sort of out of instinct of self preservation in my masculine, but it was in fact, actually even to the point of like hurting this person. And so it would be great if you can surround yourself with people who can communicate things honestly with you and are doing so for your benefit, for your growth and is in no way to harm you and to really reflect on that and go back to your inner child. I talk to my inner child all the time. I know what she looks like. I know her age. I can imagine her sitting next to me and I have a conversation with her. And I ask her, is she proud of me? Is she nicer than me? Did she like my art? Did she like my outfit today? 'Cause I do feel like we're in that cycle. It's talking to your past self, to your present. And there's a future self review that is fully completed. There's like this perfect person almost of you, your highest self, as they say, who's the most successful, who is healed. And it's a matter of making the right decisions to meet that person. And I do think that she exists and she talks to me in present time to help us to meet, so I can become her. - I love that. That sounds like a beautiful visual exercise, especially the one talking to your future self, the ideal version of yourself. And then I'll ask you, you said that sometimes you overthink, well, for many people and to some women, It's very hard to be decisive because you said it's important to make the right decision. Where for some women, making the right decision means to be contemplating both yes and no and the consequences and worrying and overthinking. Is this something that you have in yourself that whenever there is a decision in your personal life or maybe at work you already have processes and you're already a fine tuned machine, but in your life is deciding difficult for you? And is this exercise or what else do you do in order to commit to a decision so that you do what you know will bring you to that ultimate version of yourself? That's tough because I'm a Gemini, which makes me extremely indecisive. Well, I'm a Gemini and super decisive. What? You are. Are you a May or a June Gemini? May 23. 23rd. Come on now. Literally just five. We were born on the same week, essentially. But you are on the better side of the Gemini because you're more decisive. And decision, I think, also comes with this growing up in this generation of several choices and accessibility. And always questioning, am I making the right decision because of the butterfly effect, wherein you do something and it could lead you to a completely different life. Or the burnt toast theory, as they say, like, oh, you burnt your toast, you make another toast that could have saved your life in a car accident that you could have been if you left your house 10 minutes earlier because your first toast went well. And so it goes into my spiritual belief of everything happens for a reason and everything is in alignment and you're always in the right place at the right time. And so I can quote unquote, make the wrong decision right now, but somehow I will be led to where I'm supposed to be. And again, everything is a learning learning path and it's all going to be good in the end. I'd like to believe I like that very, very much to me. I use chaos theory in to mix in it with a Latin proverb, which is that "La bor omni avincit," which is that hard work conquers everything. And I imagine that life is like there are a thousand doors and maybe 900 doors are empty, but there are 100 doors full of exciting surprises. So anytime something happens that is not as expected or less than perfect, or some people say negative, but I use positive words. So when I opened that, I'm like, okay, this is an empty door, beautiful. I'll move on to another door, because I'm looking forward to the surprises that life will give us. And therefore to me, it's both. You're taking the more feminine route, which is that things fall into place. What I take, the more masculine energy route, where I say, well, I'll create the life that I want because I won't stop opening doors and going for opportunities like that movie by Jim Carrey. I don't know whether you remember it. You said there are a lot of choices in this world, but it's in a different way. where he said yes to all opportunities all the time and that led to an exciting life. Yes, man. Yes, Guy is the title of the movie, I think. Yes, yes, man. So I say yes because I understand because of that burnt toast theory or whatever it is. But actually, to me, it's my doors theory that this is a door I'm opening. Let's check if nothing happened. Well. Yes. And also I judge like I don't judge based on whether the door was empty or which is what most people do, but I say, I believed in myself and I put myself in a situation where I took the action. And therefore it's a success no matter what happens because I am willing to take the action to make doors open. And I'll add to that too because there is also sort of again that attitude of like waiting for her gold to rain from the sky and you know, you can be blessed as an opportunity but a lot of that is really up to you and how you make something happen. And I think that's in part one of the reasons why I moved to Dubai. I'm everything like all of the work that I did, I did, I would want to say out of merit. You know, I went to auditions and everything, you know, but after that, if I've done my part, you know, it's the question mark. It's the what if, and that's sort of where I'm like, you know what, if it's for me, it's for me. If it's not, there's always something better. And I think that it's the same for everybody. I agree 100 percent. And I want you to expand on that because this is beautiful. There are many women who did not dare like you to leave their life behind and to start a new fresh page, but they're contemplating it. However, they're overthinking mind or feeling stuck in their comfort zone or expectations of family and friends. And they think in two ways. What if I leave and they think I abandoned them because a lot of people have abandonment issues or the opposite? What if I leave and I fail and then they're disappointed in me? all those things happen and they stop so many women from living up to their potential and truly actualizing that ideal woman that you see that you know each woman is capable of becoming based on her own circumstances. What's your advice to yourself and to them that can encourage you even further to move forward towards that ideal ayah or whatever the woman's name that allows them to actually live life in a way where they feel healed and in their best self. I always say it's your life first. It's not your families. It's not your friends. It doesn't mean that they're not important. They are. And I know that 100% coming from an Asian household, where you make decisions as a family, but you realize it's actually you were born as just yourself because it's your life first. And when you do things out of chasing what your soul wants and needs, I think the right people will understand that and they won't deem it as selfish. Yeah, it might feel like that or that might look like the case for a while, but if they really look at things and again, if they're meant to be in your life, everything will just sort of fall into place. And so for me, just do an IP, just do it. I love that. And for us to finish, I'm very curious about something because now you picked up or returned to a painting and all those artistic fields. I have a friend who is a painter and I asked her about her creative process. And she said, whenever she feels ready to paint, she feels like this energy that is vibrating through her arms and hands and she needs to release it on the canvas and that's when she knows she's ready to create something. But for you, how is it? Is it when you feel too full of emotions and you're like, "I need to release it somewhere," and you go paint? Is it you daydream or you begin to see some image in front of you since you're visual and that image is persistent and you're like, "I need to put it on a canvas so that I free up space for my thinking?" Or how does your creative process work in general, even though you're not professional at it, but describing your real life experiences. I think not just the painting with even just creating video content, which is again another media, another outlet or art outlet form. For me, it's either I get really inspired by someone else's artwork, or like I said, if I feel very overwhelmed, art is what somehow inspires me, what calms me, makes me think, which might sound like it's counterproductive if it's making me, you know, get creative. But again, for me, I think I'm in my best when I'm creative and I see beauty in all these different forms. So it's either also I listen to music and for me, dance is a huge art form as well. I am such a geek. I will have to dance every single day to anything like funk pop, something from the 80s or maybe it could be from the 60s, maybe it's early 2000s or it was just released last week. For me, dance is a language and I've also come to know that it's very tribal and that's how we as a people all around the world used to heal and you would do it sort of together. And so for me movement, whether it's my hands, whether it's my body and translating that or marrying that somehow with art is sort of how I relax, how I express, and how I inspire. Thank you for that. To me, all of the creative processes is, I can say, they're akin or similar to given birth. There is that concept of the collective unconscious by Carl Jung that all of the ideas exist out of the objective or subjective reality that we see and it will find the creative person to come to the world through them. And then when I get that, I'm like, I feel almost like a little bit suffocating, but not in a negative way that I have to create it and get it out. Otherwise, I'm not breathing in the same way. I'm like, so buzzing in many ways. And then when I get it out, I can finally breathe. And the beautiful thing about creativity, the more you create, the more creative you become. So it's the gift that keeps on giving. It's not like some people who live in scarcity and worry, "Oh, if I give money, I lose money." No, when you create, everybody benefits and you have more energy to give to the world. So it's a multiplier and I love that very much. That is so beautiful. I agree 100%. Yes. Thank you so much, Aya. The Aya Aya, as you said before. I appreciate your time and you sharing your voice and your story in this podcast. This was one of my favorite episodes. You're very communicative and open and very creative and interesting. I wish you all the success in the world. Keep going. The ideal you is calling you. And so this is just the pathway to heaven. And I thank you so much for participating. Thank you so much for your time as well and for this very nourishing and inspiring conversation and there's got to be a part two somehow. But yeah again thank you so much. You are welcome.
