Episode Transcript
Hello, my name is Aziz and I'm the son of a divorced mother. She is really my superhero. That's why it's important for me to support women to share their uniqueness, their personalities, perspectives, and emotions about life. Too many women in this world feel alone. They worry about the judgment of others and they struggle with their mental health, but when they listen to the Rare Girls podcast where empowered women share their voices and tell their stories, many women will feel inspired to live a life of freedom and to overcome all insecurities. They will feel it is a safe space to find their confidence, to remember their unique beauty and to feel their self worth, and they will connect with a sisterhood of rare girls who encourage their success and support their dreams. That's what this podcast is all about. My guest today is Arena Cyril Glazova. Arena is a corporate girly living in Dubai. She has a bachelors of film. However, she is currently working as an operations coordinator and project manager at an investment holding company where she is handling over 15 projects. Her hobbies include reading, music, video games, crystals, and self-development. Arena, how are you today? Hello Aziz, I'm doing just fine. How about yourself? I feel blessed. I feel excited and happy to know a lot more about you. And I'll begin with this nice first question, which is, "Arina, if your friends and the people who know you best could describe your personality, or if your cats could speak and share your personality and their thoughts about you, what would they say?" - I'd prefer to go with what my friends think, because if cats could speak, that would be humanity's downfall, quite frankly. But when it comes to my friends, I do think that reliable would be a good word to go to. I'm very open-minded and spontaneous. Thank you. I love that. I have at least three questions, but I'll begin with this. What is to you the meaning of being open-minded and were you born this way? Or did you observe things about life and the world that taught you the importance of being open-minded? To me, open-minded just generally refers to looking at things with little to no judgment, because that is what causes wrong perceptions of things in my books. So no matter what people can come to me with, one, I always take it with a grain of salt. And secondly, I don't judge, because I have no play in whatever they are telling me. I have no part in it. I try to, if they want advice, then I will give them the most objective advice that I possibly can. And if not, then it's just giving them an ear to listen. Whether I have learned this or I was born with it, I think it's a little bit of a mix of both. I think it did come innately because my mother was like that a great deal. She always taught me to be objective, but apart from that, I think experience also played its hand. Thank you. That sounds very spiritual, even Buddhist, and it makes me think of your love for crystals. Is it related somehow? It is. And why do you have that fascination with crystals? I wouldn't say it's a fascination, but I do like lots of crystals, so I do have quite a few crystals around the house. I am spiritual. So I do believe that crystals are a guiding hand. I'm completely against people who say that crystals can heal everything and whatever, but they're definitely a guiding hand in a way. So they make things a little bit easier, depending on the purpose of each crystal. Thank you. And you described yourself as spontaneous. well, that is very much opposite to filmmaking where everything is scripted opposite to your work as a project manager. So how does that combine within your personality without any cognitive dissonance? It is very frustrating, because I am this very logical, like steps oriented person, but I am also the person that can just, you know, flip a table over and be like, you know what, we're starting from zero. You know, so it's, it really depends on what kind of mental state I'm in, what kind of mood I'm in. And that really helps decide the rigidity of my actions. So one day I could be very almost Hitler esque, but on another day I can be completely, you know, going with the wind, going with the flow, whatever is happening. So it just really depends on the day. Thank you. Some people would describe that the rigid part of you or days as more of the masculine energy and displaying it, and that when you are going with the flow that is you being in your femininity. I have interviewed some women who said today they have to be in their masculine a lot. They don't feel too comfortable with it, but life requires it in many ways. And they wish they could let go of what they call the burden of being so much in their masculine. Some even said, "I don't even feel I can trust the situation if I'm not in my masculine and if I'm in my feminine, because what if something bad happens and I'm not in control of it or in charge and all that?" What's your perspective on this? Are you balanced in both ways? Like you said, depending on the day, are you more on the masculine? Do you feel comfortable with it? Like, tell me your whole perspective and even definition of how life requires you to be in your masculine or feminine, and whether you're working towards balancing both. Yes, I definitely understand where a lot of these women come from. I, myself, was I'm, first of all, I'm a lot more comfortable in my masculine because that was in the state that I was in for, I'd say, 90% of, like, growing up. I was very tomboyish, let's say, you know, again, there's nothing wrong with that, but that's just what it is. I was very tomboyish, I was very loud, I was very, you know, aggressive and not, like, abusive, but, you know, just, yeah, masculine. Only recently have I really started getting acquainted with my femininity because I mean that is who I am and I'm trying to get like a solid balance but it is scary being in your feminine because it at some points it does feel like weakness due to the world that we live in you know so if you're not strict and you're not in someone's face then you get just walked over if not run over you know so there is There is a method. There's so many women who have mastered this method of being in their feminine while still being powerful and still being impactful and still being able to be heard, but in and of itself, that is a mission. So I'm still working on that within myself. Thank you. You said that you recently started to work on that. Why? Was there a situation that happened or something you learned or you wanted to explore new parts of you, what motivated you to move to this since you said you are so comfortable in your masculine for so long. So it's not like something that you are yearning for or missing too harshly. While being in your masculine is very, I mean, it is powerful or so it feels like it is incredibly exhausting as well because it's not exactly who I am. It's not the energy that I'm meant to pull from as a female. I'm supposed to pull the majority of my energy and my inspiration from my feminine while balancing it out with my masculine, at least that's what I believe. And so being in your masculine a hundred percent of the time, it's incredibly exhausting. It's almost like putting on a front. And so that exhaustion just really, really got to me. And I was running on fumes for a very, very, very long time. And so eventually, I also started therapy. And that also helped me, you know, start to reunite and coalesce with my feminine. And it is it does feel lighter, you know, just just to be able to accept that part of myself and to work on it and to let it flow. Thank you so much. I really love that answer. It's so interesting and very well expressed. And to know a bit more, what attracted you to film? Is it because you're very creative or is it different that while you were a little girl, you were daydreaming about being a star or I had interviewed an actress? And to me, she said She had been stereotyped in her life as being this kind of Eastern European person who has been immigrated somewhere else in the world. And therefore she wanted the freedom to break out of the mold and become any person she wants. She can be one day a dancer, next day a business woman, third day she can be a pirate, fourth day she can be an alien. And therefore that gave her the sense that she is limitless and therefore it was for her own personal development or I don't know what it is for you, filmmaking, what attracted you to it or interested you to it to dedicate your studies to that subject. I understand the acting part, right, because that was one of the main reasons that I wanted to be an actress growing up, you know, that like one day you could be a cowgirl and one day you could be in the French Empire, you know, like Marie Antoinette. But no, I think the thing that attracted me to filmmaking the most was the creative side. That was definitely a big part of it, but I couldn't decide what I wanted to do for the longest time. I took two gap years, you know, I traveled the world and I kept changing my major every two months or so. So eventually I started to recognize a pattern which was I wanted to do the things that I used to watch, if that makes sense. So if I started watching suits, I wanted to become a lawyer. If I started watching bones, I wanted to become a forensic anthropologist. So eventually it kind of led to a common denominator which was film. And overall it was something that I really liked. really liked. I had YouTube channels, you know, growing up, I tried my hand at editing, I did film camps, I actually have a trophy right there from real cinemas, if you see it. That's from, you know, a filmmaking summer camp back when, you know, in like 2015, I think. So as I said, everything just led to a common denominator, which was film. Thank you. And when I think about that, some people will say that psychologically you changing tracks so often in your life could be one of three reasons. Either one, that you are so excited and enamored with your self growth that you're like, I want to explore everything without limitations. I love freedom so much. I'm just such a free spirit. Or that you get bored so easily. And so you need new excitement, new shiny objects. Or it could be that you have kind of some trouble making decisions because you're always worrying what if, what if, what if, so you prefer to have something like whatever you watch decide for you, so that you just have to do it and follow without going to the tribal of deciding maybe it's all three. What is your comment? How does it work? All three I can I can say from now all three one because it is very easy for me to learn things and I absolutely adore mental stimulation in things that I enjoy, obviously. So learning new things, especially things that come easy and naturally to me, is a different sort of high for me, let's say. I do get bored very easily as well, especially if things are not picking up very easily or if just things are not going my way. So I do get bored and I drop it. I actually have a puzzle right here next to me that I build the outline of. And I haven't touched in about two months because that outline took me a whole day of stressing. Just you know, to solidify my point. As for the third one, I do have quite a few struggles with making decisions. It is the you know, the overthinking side of me, which is I see all the possibilities, right? I because I overthink, I see all the possibilities of yes, all the possibilities of no, all the possibilities of maybe. And because there's just so many options, I get overwhelmed and that just, you know, goes into a downward spiral. Thank you. And then it makes me feel that you're a part of your life, which would be dating will be full of troubles for this reason that you'll be attracting feminine entities because of your high masculinity and because they go along and follow and demand or require that you make the decisions and you're overthinking so it's even harder. Plus, you will be the source of their simulation rather than them simulating you intellectually, etc., which puts you in a double bind where the more you're in your masculine, the more you're bored with any person who's attracted to you or you're bringing into your life. So how does that work? Or maybe that's one of the causes that you wanted to drop into your femininity so that you attract more masculine like people so that you're able to get more stimulation, not worry about leadership and as well as experience more of that flow or because I immediately thought about it that there is an oxymoron or an juxtaposition of two opposites within the situation. Yeah, dating has definitely been hard because I know the type of partner that I want and it is definitely someone who has a higher masculine than me. And so I used to go for those people, but for some reason, whenever we would get into a relationship, my masculine would still end up overpowering and I would take on, you know, the pants and the relationship, let's say. So yeah, that did happen very often, which was very frustrating and very annoying because in life outside of the romantic relationship, I do take on like even at my work in my university when I was studying, I always had some kind of leadership role. It just came naturally to me. So when I come home and I'm with the person that I love, the last thing I want to do is to lead and and to make decisions and to think through everything. I just want to be, I say this a lot with my partner now, I just wanted to be a brainless blonde when I'm around him. But no, I've currently gone into a relationship and I do think that therapy has helped a lot because the dynamic seems to have equaled out. I wouldn't say I'm entirely in my masculine, but I wouldn't say I'm entirely in my feminine either. It's just kind of a balance right now. So I fall into my feminine when I feel or I need to be there. And I fall into my masculine when, you know, same reasons. It's just, you know, it's a give and take because my partner also has, you know, bad days where he needs me to take over and that's perfectly fine. And sometimes I have days where I just need to be, you know, of a girl, you know, a soft, delicate flower of a girl. And then that's also perfectly fine. Thank you. And to know a bit more about your life, because your life seems to be very interesting and full of activities and stimulation. How is your typical week in Dubai? And in general, how do you experience life in Dubai? You said that you traveled all over the world. You have been in many places. I imagine Bali was on that list. Please. That's very typical. No, actually. Of many, many girls who are spiritual. Okay. So you haven't been to Bali. but just share your usual routine in the sense that you're managing 15 projects, which is a lot, you're also taking care of your other parts of your life, plus living in Dubai. Can you share how do you structure your day? How do you keep your energy? How do you stay going? And how do you create a life that you enjoy somewhere in the world, in this case, in Dubai? Quite frankly, my day to day is surprisingly dull. I mean, it's just working home until we get to the weekends where I get to do a lot of the things that I enjoy. As for, you know, my work life, it can get very hectic because we do have a very dynamic office and in general, just a very dynamic field of work. So we have a lot of projects, we have a lot of new companies opening up. I work in an investment holding company called Enlightened Minds. And within that company, there is so many little sub companies. And the whole point of this investment holding is to provide the perfect lifeline to entrepreneurs, right? So we cover everything from, you know, getting them to Dubai to covering the entire back end of their business. So like sales, marketing, so we hold, you know, a business up when it just comes to Dubai, which, as I said, can be very hectic. It can be very frustrating and very stressful. So one of the main reasons that I'm still doing what I'm doing is because I need that stimulation. I need that dynamic environment to keep me entertained, because that's been one of my biggest weaknesses, is that if I get bored, I am done for, like I am out. So this type of workforce, while sometimes it can like be bordering on toxic, but it's fun and it's dynamic and it's exactly what I personally need, you know, to keep me going. Thank you. And to finish this, I mean, the penultimate question is I'm curious about your friendships. Are you the kind of person who makes friends with people who are equal in their self development and they're pushing themselves forward so you are peers at the same level? Or do you have like a bit of a savior complex where you like the puzzle that you have that you go for people who are less on the development scale and you want to make them your project and try to make them be developed and help them and guide them and be the person who witnesses their growth just to understand how you relate and what kind of people you seem to be most interested in having in your life that keep you either stimulated whether because they're further ahead than you and therefore you feel like you've been mentored by them. They're equal and therefore you feel you have peers or more projects that you work on in order to make them, fix them and save them from their lives in some ways. - My friendship story is actually quite tragic because I quite recently had to cut out a lot of my friends for one of the reasons that you just said, which is I'm not sure if it was by choice or just situation, but I attracted and I was attractive to people who, I don't wanna call them projects like you did. And I don't want to say that they needed saving, but they needed someone to help them, you know, to rely on to completely just dump everything they had going on. And I was happy to do it. But as I said, I was running on fumes for a very, very long time, which meant that I was just constantly taking on all of this. And none of these people provided channels for me to dump anything back on them, you know? So I was just constantly taking it and taking it and taking it and taking it. And at one point, I just, I couldn't anymore. I reached a point where I literally couldn't get out of bed because I was just so exhausted. I would go to bed exhausted. I would wake up exhausted and it was so frustrating and painful. And then on top of that, I went through a very bad breakup. at the time and that was my switch. I was just done with everything. So what I did was I completely distanced myself from everyone that I knew. I completely focused on myself. I cried it out. I got angry. I screamed it out and then I started completely focusing on myself and my self-development and my therapy for probably six months straight. I also stopped drinking, you know, I completely completely focused on myself. It was painful. Cutting ties was incredibly, incredibly painful because while I understood the situation and the dynamic of what was happening, I still cared a lot for those people and I wanted to help them because I've been told many times that my role in life is a healer and you know, it's a helper. And I know that I've always been drawn to that, you know, whether it's people or animals or plants. So it was incredibly, incredibly painful to go through that, but it was something that I knew for a fact was necessary for me to gain control of myself and gain control of my energy and how I was giving it out and where and what causes I was giving it to. And also to teach myself to have a healthy, to develop a healthy give and take with the people that I'm healing because I am not able to give 100% and expect to have anything left over for myself or for anyone else. So that was a very difficult journey and I'm still on it. I'm not going to say that I'm 100% done because I know for a fact that I still do get attached to things that take a lot from me, but I'm a lot better at recognizing myself and at least being aware of the things that I'm doing and what I'm giving. I salute that insight and self-growth and thank you so much. And to finish this, what is your advice to women who might have what you experience, which is the overthinking, some of them worry a lot and therefore they stay in their comfort zone and don't push themselves outside of it in order to reach their potential. You have the boredom that pushes you out and the sense of desire for learning. Some people might not be motivated by that as much, but all women deserve to have that push into the unknown, but that lets them discover so many new things and open their life to so much potential and possibilities. - My advice for this, I think, is fairly cliche, but it's to just do it. I know I struggle with overthinking myself a lot, and I know that it's incredibly difficult to overcome that, because you're just kind of teetering on the edge of which way to go and you can be stuck in that situation for so, so long and that is probably the worst thing that you could possibly do to yourself just to be stuck in that unknown. So make that decision and just know that in a month, in a year, in five years, that decision is not going to matter no matter which way it goes, right? If If it ends up well, then congratulations, you made a good decision. If it goes badly, then take it as a learning experience. But the most important thing is that when you start making decisions, you start trusting yourself. And that is what it's all about. You have to learn to trust your gut instincts. The number of times that my gut instincts could have saved me from so many bad things, but I just overthought it. And I was like, no, I'm just, no, I don't know what I'm thinking or I don't know what I'm talking about. And it ended up in me being in uncomfortable situations for myself. So learn to just make the decision, make the decision, see where it goes. And this way you start learning yourself more and you start knowing that your body and your mind and your gut and your instincts are right. And you will start learning how these things communicate to you and how you know what they're trying to say to you. But that only comes if you actually make decisions based off of what you're feeling, based off what you're thinking, based off your gut feeling and your instincts. So just do it. - I agree, Arina, just do it. Thank you so much. It was honestly my privilege and my honor to have you here to share your voice, your insights, your experience, a slice of your life, like those movies that are called slice of life. Well, that was yours and a little bit of it. I encourage your success, your development, your exciting, adventurous life, because I know you'll get bored otherwise and just keep going. Thank you. Thank you very much for having me Aziz. I know I know it was a long time coming, but I'm very happy that we finally did this. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music)
