Episode Transcript
Hello, my name is Aziz and I'm the son of a divorced mother, she's really my superhero. That's why it's important for me to support women to share their uniqueness, their personalities, perspectives and emotions about life. Too many women in this world feel alone. They worry about the judgment of others and they struggle with their mental health but when they listen, to the rare girls podcasts where empowered women share their voices and tell their stories many women will feel inspired to live a life of freedom and overcome all insecurities they will feel. It is a safe space to find their confidence to remember their unique beauty and to feel their self worth and they will connect with the sisterhood of rare girls who encourage their success and support their dreams. That's what this podcast is all about. My guest today is Nawal Sayed. Nawal is a British Pakistani born and raised in North London and moved to Dubai five years ago. Nawal is 18 years old, currently studying branding and advertising at Middlesex University in Dubai. She is in the real estate industry and currently working on her own modest clothing brand called Vail Vogue Fashion. Nawal, how are you today? Hi, I'm amazing. Thank you so much for having me on. I'm honored, happy, lucky, looking forward to know much more about you and I'll begin with this nice first question which is, Nawal, if your friends could describe your personality, what would they say about you? I think the first thing they would say is that I'm very optimistic. I don't like looking at anything negative so I always try and find a positive like comeback to anything. I'm quite motherly. I don't know what it is. I have this motherly instinct and I feel like I always have to protect, especially my girls. I always have to like protect them. So I think that's what they would say and I'm very, I think, outgoing, especially in this generation. Everyone's very like stuck to themselves and they're scared to try new things. I want to go out there. I want to make memories and just live in the moment. I love that. I have so many questions about each one of them and I'll begin with your sense of optimism. You said you don't like to think about things negatively. The human brain evolved according to some evolutionary psychology and biology in a way to be negative because optimistic people will be too comfortable walking into dangerous situations and they died. So the brain evolved to be very much a brain that is negative, that is overthinking and worrying. So you said you don't like it. Did it happen to you before that you used to have the first instinct of thinking negatively or not? And anyway, how did you work on training yourself and developing your sense of optimism? I think there was obviously growing up, there was a phase in my life where I used to overthink a lot and not a lot of people talk about it, but it's a common thing. Everyone starts to overthink and it's a silent killer. You start to overthink the tiniest things that have ruined your day. But I think even growing up, I think it was more my father, he always used to tell me, be positive, be positive. It's so much easier said than done because you're sitting there, you're like, be positive about what? But when you are so negative about something, you see it that it brings other people down. And I believe in the law of attraction. When you are positive about something, you bring so much goodness into your life and to those around you. And I think that's where it kind of came in. Obviously, it's very hard to implement that into your life. And like, yeah, but it's like a pill. Obviously, it doesn't work unless you take it every day. And it's a pattern, it's a cycle. You have to get used to changing your mindset to think about that. But I think when you start young and you know to always think positive or always think about the really good side of a situation, your life becomes so much better. And it's very easy to deal with things that way. You know, thank you so much. I agree very, very much. You said that you believe in the law of attraction. It seems to me that you are a spiritual girl, a girl who is in touch with a metaphysical part of reality. Maybe you love crystals or not. I don't know. But tell me a bit more about what makes you believe in the law of attraction. How do you see the universe? Do you feel that you are protected by God or by some energy in this universe that has given you a great destiny, that you are part of a great, great purpose in this world so bad things cannot stop you from achieving that? Or what makes you believe in the law of attraction? And what is your experience or connection to things that are beyond what is seen? So being born and raised as a Muslim woman, in North London, it was very hard to practice my religion because it's not a place for Muslims. I moved here to Dubai at the age of 14. And that's when I really started getting in touch with my religion. I think my thinking of law of attraction also ties in a bit with Islam because praying and imagine you're praying for the same thing every day, every day. One day it does come true and you're like, oh my God, I manifested this. This is my prayer. And obviously with the power of God because nothing is like being able to be done without him. And there was a book that I read. I was never the type to get into reading. I hated anything to do with long paragraphs and words. But there was a book that I read called The Secret and it did change my mindset. It was the first book I read and it talks all about the law of attraction and how you genuinely can manifest anything you want with like positive energy and good vibes. I think that energy is so important when it comes to especially connecting with other people because you feel their energy straight away. So I think that that's where my thinking of law of attraction came in. It ties in with my religion and like just the way that I am with people and the way that I feel them. I'm very familiar with that book, The Secret. And then it makes you wonder, you spoke about the importance of connecting with other people with good vibes, good energy. Is this related to your outgoing attitude? Were you like filled with energy or are you yearning and craving that interaction and exchange of energy with good people and good vibes? And that's what pushes you to be outgoing while other people, like you said, in a younger generation are not so outgoing. Tell me a bit more whether there is a connection and what about you makes you different and outgoing in this way? I think to answer the first bit of your question, I think it's a bit of both because obviously I'm 18, I'm in Gen Z as much as I don't want to claim this generation I have to, it's part of me. A lot of people are very closed off, but I like to be social because and especially in a place like Dubai, everyone's very different and everyone brings something different to the table. And there's so many opportunities here, opportunities that sometimes you really wouldn't have in other places. So sometimes I do like I feel like I crave that interaction with other people because I always want to meet new people and see what they're doing. But then again, I do think it's a bit because I'm quite optimistic. And a lot of people would say that I have quite a big personality. And when I speak to someone, even if they're not a big personality, it's kind of a comfortable space where then they'll talk and walk off each other. But again, going back to the whole like energy thing, if I feel you can tell a lot from the first like few minutes of a conversation with someone. If I feel that our energy is not matching, then I'll move away. But most times I get built up and I can see that the energy is there and then you become friends with that person. So yeah, I think it's a very important thing, especially making friends in Dubai, to be able to see other people's energy and their vibe. And that's the kind of people that you want around you because you can then bounce off of them. Thank you. I love that very much. And you mentioned that you have a big personality. Well there is a stereotype that some people have that if a woman has a big personality, they say she is masculine. She doesn't know how to be in her feminine. She is more of a man that looks like a woman or whatever it is. Well some people would say that actually know that's her wild crazy side. That's her feminine being in chaos, like that would say in some spiritual practices. According to you, which one is it? Because I spoke to some great ambitious women within this podcast who say, well in Dubai, life is very hard. I need to not shut my brain off and constantly be in my masculine in order to survive so that people respect me so that they don't starve. And they say, I wish I had more time and possibility for me to be in my feminine. While other ones will say, no, actually I'm in my crazy mode. That's why I have a big personality. I feel very feminine. It's not about deciding. It's about flowing with the emotions. And that's why it works that way. Can you comment on this and describe to which way do you fit and feel closer to? And what's your experience with that sense of masculine energy and achievement versus feminine energy and being motherly, like you said, caring and receptive? I do think that stereotype is something that, and I feel like you building this podcast and you building the same space for people, you are breaking that stereotype a little bit because you have so many women coming on and talking about their experiences. I do think it's a bit of both, but I agree with what you said when sometimes, and especially in like social hubs like Dubai, you feel like you're either going to get eaten or you eat. It's one or the other. And sometimes you do have to be in your masculine energy in order to have respect from people or to get places because let's be honest, if you're going to be quiet and if you're going to shut your personality away, you're not going to get very far. And you need to be able to be that confident person who can, it's almost like you're walking through a crowd. You're not going to sit at the back and you cannot see this person that you paid to see. You're going to obviously walk through the crowd. You have to walk through the front because that's what you want to do. I think that there are a lot of people that say, oh yeah, women being too optimistic and having a big personality is not right. Everyone has to remember the times have changed. That was way back then. Obviously they had different values. To some extent, I agree. Women and men are very different. However, their personalities and what they can do is different in a way. With me, my optimistic side, I feel like that does come from my feminine energy as much as other people would say it comes from their masculine. I would say that when I'm feeling very girly or no, especially when I'm around girls, I feel more empowered to do something. I would say it's a bit of both, but I do agree with the fact that sometimes you do have to tune into that masculine energy in order to get what you want because the world's not fair. Sometimes women, you don't get what you want just being a woman. It doesn't work anymore. Thank you. I agree 100%. Let's speak about something that you didn't want so much to be associated with, but I want your opinion about it, which is Generation Z. You said and spoke about how many of them are not so outgoing. What do you think is the reason for that? Is it because of the pandemic and social isolation and therefore they had a period of time where they were not interacted with new people, so they lost those soft skills and that makes them very nervous and anxious about meeting new people? Or is it like you said, Dubai and many places are places where you feel you eat or get eaten, but in an age where you can just order food, order Netflix, order whatever you want so easily, they're like, no, it's too hard. It's not worth the trouble. Let me just chill and close myself off. Or how would you diagnose or see this whole situation happening from your own perspective? I think the reason why I don't want to be associated with Gen Z as much as I do have to claim it is because even on social media, there's a lot of negative inputs around Gen Z, which a lot of them I do agree with, but a lot of them I sit, can I look at the Generation as a whole and I think, you know what, everyone's very innovative, everyone's very creative. This Generation has a lot to offer, but my biggest reason as to why I think they're not giving it is this Generation grew up on social media. As much as it's a great platform, you can do so much on there. Social media really brings everyone's self esteem down, it brings everyone's confidence down. If you look at, for example, beauty standards, I've seen a lot of my girls, sometimes you feel so great and you get ready and you want to go out and then you open Instagram, suddenly you're looking at everyone and everyone's got this distinct look and it's almost like, oh my God, I don't look like that. So do I fit or do I not? And now it's got to the point where you can, it's unrealistic, you can't match that. Do you know what I mean? So I think that's a big reason as to why Gen Z is so closed off, but I do think Gen Z have it quite easy. Like you said, like ordering food, you've got Netflix, everything's online now, literally everything's online. So they don't have to work harder, they work smarter. And in the older generations eyes, it's like, oh my God, these guys are so lazy, I cannot believe it. You know, back in my day, I had to do this, I had to do that. So there's good and bad in both, but I do think that social media is the biggest factor because from younger till now, they've been bought up on social media. That's all they've seen before you could hide certain things from children, from younger girls. You could hide certain things until later on because they shouldn't be seeing a lot of things that are online because it really does affect their confidence. But now there is so much on social media, on Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, that young girls are seeing and automatically they're following it because they're like, you know what, the older women are doing this, I'm going to have to do it too. And it's heartbreaking to see, but that's why we definitely need platforms like this where they can listen to women who have already been through so much of what they're going to go through and they can learn from it this way. 100%. Thank you, Naul, for sharing that. I appreciate it very much. And you are in real estate. Real estate for you to be successful in it or anybody. I have talked to some very successful real estate agents and one of them said we have to swim in an ocean of rejection in order to find a deal that makes it all worth it. So you're constantly barraged with people who say, oh, not yet, not interested. And you need to fight and elbow other people in order to find some deals. It's very, very hyper competitive. How do you keep yourself okay in the face of so much possible negative energy or rejection that no matter how strong you are, it might get to you if you're not used to it and you're still new in that game, which requires very thick skin. I think especially with real estate, I started quite young when I first realized I wanted to get into it. I was 13. So that's when I kind of built my forte. And I said, you know, this is my niche. I can speak to people. I can do this. But it's true that, you know, I used to do cold calls and like telesales and you'd go through a list of like 130 calls a day. I'm not even joking. 128 of them calls were rude. And they were like, I don't want this property. Why are you calling me? And two of them calls are like, yeah, actually, I do want a property. But I think that when it, I feel like sometimes you need to detach yourself away from certain situations. Don't take it to heart. Move away. There's people, these people don't know you. They don't have a lot of people now have the mindset of, oh, if I don't know you, I don't need to show respect to you, which is it's obviously it's very horrible because you should treat people how you want to be treated. But in this industry, realistically it's sink or swim and you have to keep afloat. And that's what everyone's doing, especially in Dubai. There's so much competition when it comes to real estate. I'm obviously a lot younger than the other real estate agents. I'm 18. I've like seen people that are in their thirties and they're smashing it. It's just all about how you take it. But I also do think, and my friends also use this line a lot that it builds character, which I do think it's so true. When you go through things, you learn how to get through the next one much easier. And I feel like that's what life is all about. And especially growing up as a woman, that's what life is all about. You can't go, if you go through life and you go through nothing, good, good on you. I'm really happy for you. But nine times out of 10, you will go through something that it's going to build you. It's going to make you stronger in the moment. You're going to be like, Oh, this is, I can't do this. These people are horrible. When you look back and you're like, okay, this happened. How can I deal with it for the next time? I know how I'm going to deal with it for the next time. I know that I'm not going to take it to heart. You know, I agree that inspirational. And it reminds me of something that there are many women in this world, not just within Generation Z who have grown up following the plan of their parents. Maybe they are from Pakistan. Maybe they are from other parts of the world where maybe their parents are doctors and they expect them to be doctors or lawyers or just whatever steady job that they think about. While those girls are very creative, they wish to do something like start a fashion brand or become an artist or do anything else. But they feel this friction deep inside that the part of them yearns for that freedom, but they worry and they say, what if my parents feel disappointed? What if people judge me? What if I fail? And then everybody tells me, I told you so. And I feel ashamed for the rest of my life. And then another part of them is like, no, no, take the safe route. It's okay. Maybe make enough money and have fun in the weekend or like sacrifice 10 days just to have a few hours of fun living on your terms, whatever it is. How were you able to follow really like your dreams and create things in this world that are more aligned with what you want? And what's your advice to those girls who feel stuck not only in their comfort zone, but in the expectations of other people so that they understand they only have one life and are able to live it on their terms and just break free? I think there's two parts to this question, because one part is the parents and Alhamdulillah is best with very open-minded parents. They were born and raised in North London. And they always told us, whatever you want to do, go into it. As long as halal, go into it. But there are some people and in my university, majority of the students there are South Asian. And there are a lot of stereotypes around the South Asian community, the Pakistanis, Indians, the people from Kerala. There are a lot of different stereotypes to which some extent are true. A lot of their parents, I feel personally like they live through their children because back in their day, they didn't have as much freedom or they didn't have the, you know, the opportunity to go and get their education. So when you're talking about that, that's quite difficult to give advice on. But I've seen a lot of people who are afraid of what just random people might think, whether it's their friends, whether it's just the public eye. And there's obviously, it does hold you back. But the one thing to remember is that everyone's in the same boat. When you start doing it, you feel stupid. Everybody feels stupid. And this is not the best advice to give. But sometimes you have to fake it till you make it. You have to lie to yourself and make up every day, go, I'm going to do this. And you have to be delusional and say, you know what, everyone around me agrees with me because one day you're going to wake up and it's actually true. And you feel like you don't need to lie anymore. Because the thing is, everyone is going to have their opinions. There are 8 billion people in this world. How are you going to please all of them? It's either you please all of them and you hurt yourself in the process or you do what you want and leave everyone else. Everyone's going to have opinions regardless what you do. That's just the world that we live in. It depends on you. And I feel like people don't pay attention to their own self worth and their own self happiness. And that's something I learned, especially with friends in friends, relationships, even with family. When you start putting other people above you, it's like you give your battery to someone else. They're going all the way up and then you're dying. And for what purpose? Dana. Thank you. And it makes me wonder how does this relate to you being motherly and protecting your girls? Because by definition, you're giving your battery to other people. So what is the difference in that situation to the negative one where you're losing all your charge and being an empty battery just to prop up other people? So your motherly side, how does that work with you not sacrificing your gift for people who might just take, take, take and not give? Or how does that work? I think this ties into the friends that you choose. Now, obviously, there's no like specific advice you can give to people when choosing friends because it's a risk you have to take. Sometimes stuff happens, sometimes you turn out and you have the best friendship. My and I keep my circle very close. The reason why I'm able to be motherly and be protective to my girls is because they give that back. I think that's so important when females are finding other friendships, because let's be honest, this is a space for girls, a safe space for everyone. Everyone knows that as much as we love to empower other women, unfortunately, that's faded. And there's a lot of hate going on. I don't know why women like to just point out other things and put, I feel like they put other women down to make themselves feel a bit better, which shouldn't be the case. And this is why spaces like this exist to remind everyone that we're all in the same boat. When it comes to choosing friends, you need to choose people who bring value to you. And I think that's something that a lot of people forget. People will have friends just for the sake of having these numbers to fill up a table or fill up a room. And I used to be like that where I used to have so many friends, but realistically, they were not my friends. Now looking back on it, they were an acquaintance. They didn't know much about me. I didn't know much about them. And the friends that I have now, it's more like a sisterhood where you bounce off each other, you get to know each other, and those are the friends that won't judge you. Obviously, you are going to have people you come across in life, like you make friends. For me, for example, when I left London, I did not want to come here at all. And because I was in the state of mind that these friends that I have now are going to be my best friends for life. I was what, 13, 14? I can't mention a single friend that I still talk to from London that I still have now. Obviously, yeah, it's sad. But as you grow up, friends are going to come, friends are going to go. And that's how it is. But you just need to have people that bring value to your life, whether that's uplifting you, whether that's supporting you just being there. And I know there's a very simple things. But unfortunately, in this day and age, it's very hard to get those simple things from friends. Thank you. I appreciate you sharing that. And it made me curious because you are studying. So that's already something that takes a lot of time doing real estate, which is a 24 7 kind of job. And you started your modest brand of veil vogue fashion. First, what was the story of you starting this brand? What need did you notice that you wanted to fill? And how did you think about it, especially in Dubai, where there are so many brands that are competing? And so when you're entering, you're like competing with brands from all levels. And that is not an easy task to take. If there is something we can say about you that we love to challenge yourself and do the hardest thing ever. But tell me a bit more. So obviously, it's coming soon. I'm in the process of putting things together. And it's been fun. It really has. But my main message that I wanted to get across to everyone was to feel confident with modesty. And I feel like my this is more targeted for my young girls and the teenagers, even the older women, because something that I've seen quite a lot, like this, as I talked about before, the standard of beauty has changed now. But for some reason, I think the standard of beauty got lost in translation where younger girls are now looking and thinking standard of beauty is about how much skin they show. And that's the cycle that I want to break. Obviously, everyone can dress how they want to. My personal preference and what I want to teach the younger girls is that you don't have to show 99% skin to be beautiful. And I know that everyone's heard the phrase, our beauty comes from within. I used to hear that phrase and be like, that doesn't make sense, because people cannot see it. But I then realized that when you speak to someone, and they have an ugly personality, all of a sudden, they become unattractive. And that's what's important to remember. So my brand is basically just to teach the younger girls that you could wear the most modest clothing and the most beautiful abayas and dresses. They don't show skin, but you look so stunning, you look so elegant in them. And also, obviously, there's so much competition to buy. But recently, I got an abaya and it was such a struggle to find an abaya that was nice with embroidery, that didn't hug too tight. I just wanted the fit to be right. So I thought, you know what, let me take it into my own hands. Let me share this message with the younger generation and the generations to follow. And let me build something that everyone can wear and have. It's a limited edition brand. So it will only come out in stages because I don't want everybody to get lost and have too many things to choose from because I know that's my issue, especially when you're online shopping. There's so much to choose from. I get lost and I end up spending so much money. And I wanted it to be affordable for everyone because at the end of the day, modesty isn't just about religion. Modesty is about yourself and how you carry yourself. And that's how others perceive you as well. So I wanted to make it an affordable brand where you could wear these abayas and these modest dresses to a dinner. You could wear them at home to the beach. You could wear them anywhere. And that's kind of what I want to do with it. And I'm really excited because this is the first time I've ever spoken about the brand. The Instagram page has literally just been created two days ago. And I'm really excited to go on this journey and see where it takes me. I encourage your success. And I believe you'll make a big splash and this is going to be very successful. And I'm also now curious about what motivates you and drives you in this world. Is it building character like you said and mentioned about real estate and therefore you challenge yourself in order to grow that character? Or are you a girl who gets bored easily and you're like, I want something new. I want new excitement, new emotions. Or is it about the energy that you feel the more energy you give to this world, the more you receive energy? And so is that flow keeps thing interesting and your energy strong instead of stagnating without going anywhere? Or is it like when you were a little girl, you were daydreaming and now you finally have the chance to take action and put things into place and you're like, I will make all my dreams come true. Let's go. How does it work for you? Tell me what drives you and what motivates you to do all these things. I think going back to the Gen Z bit, because I have to claim this part before a little bit now, I won't lie. I could never stick to one thing. I would get bored so quickly. I would never finish even in school. A task would be given to me. I never finished the task because I got bored. Now I'm starting to realize that I have to stick out at things in order to make it work. But I think I've gone into things that actually interest me. Even my degree that I was going to go and do a business degree, I realized that I was bored and I didn't want to do that. And now I'm in branding and to put yourself in situations where you yourself feel like you can do it and that you're really interested. That's what motivates me. Also, my siblings, they are very hardworking. I've grown up with them in the age gap between me. I'm the youngest and the age gap between me, my siblings are very large. So even when I was younger, seeing them go out and work and do all these amazing things, I think that was a big thing for me. That was like, you know what? These are my role models. I have role models right in front of me. And I'm so blessed to have that. I love that because a lot of people have role models that are on social media with millions of followers and they can't talk to them and they can't get advice. Whereas I have Alhamdulillah, three siblings that I can talk to and get advice. Also, my parents were very supportive of everything that we wanted to do. And they were always telling us, you know, go chase your dreams, whatever you want to do, especially my dad. He was a very, he grew, he had three daughters. So he had to realize how to act around women and how to be, but he really pushed me. And I think now I'm finally, it's like I'm finally gathering all these skills that I've been learning over the few years and I'm taking all of this, this criticism that people have given me and I'm using it in such a positive light where I'm now pushing myself to also prove others wrong. That people who have said, you know what? You cannot do that. You will not be able to do that. I'm now taking everything into one and thinking, you know what? This is me. I'm going to push myself. I'm going to do it. This is for me as well as it is, you know, for other people. Thank you so much for sharing that. I really loved our conversation. And to end this, do you have any lesson or advice that you want to share with other women in order for them to live happier, to be more optimistic, to connect with their wild side without feeling judged or at least to not be so competitive, the women who are that way or those who are struggling, who are being kind, good people and good girls, but they are interacting with some women who might be competing with them and a bit jealous. And like you said, putting them down so that their life can actually be happier. Maybe there is the right person and the right place and the right time who will listen to you and it will make an impact. I think my advice comes from the aspect of self-confidence. And my one piece of advice is I know it's very hard to be confident in your own skin, but also the thing that helped me was remember that everyone comes from different cultures, the features that you have, the way you look, you're representing your culture and be proud of that. If everyone looked the same, this world would be so boring. But every culture has their own definition of beauty. No one's the same and God made you who you are. God made you perfect. It's obviously going to take time to fit into that, but carry yourself with confidence, carry yourself the way that God made you and carry yourself for culture because all of these features that makes you, that's your heritage, that's your background. Show it proudly. I appreciate that very, very much. That was great advice. Thank you so much, Naul. It was my privilege and my honor to have you here, to share your voice. I wish you success with your limited edition brand. I wish you all the success in real estate and in branding, in your studies and in making it big and having the impact you desire in Dubai and in the world. Thank you again for participating. Thank you so much. It's been an honor to be here. Thank you.
