Episode Transcript
Hello, my name is Aziz and I'm the son of a divorced mother. She is really my superhero. That's why it's important for me to support women to share their uniqueness, their personalities, perspectives, and emotions about life. Too many women in this world feel alone. They worry about the judgment of others and they struggle with their mental health. But when they listen to the Rare Girls podcast where empowered women share their voices and tell their stories, many women will feel inspired to live a life of freedom and to overcome all insecurities. They will feel it is a safe space to find their confidence, to remember their unique beauty and to feel their self worth. And they will connect with the sisterhood of Rare Girls who encourage their success and support their dreams. That's what this podcast is all about. My guest today is Marietta Reyes. Marietta is originally from Cebu, Philippines and currently living 14 years cumulatively in Dubai. She has a bachelor's degree in business management with majors in hotel and restaurant management. Marietta loves meeting people, cooking for family and friends, reading, dancing, traveling, walking, and relaxing on the beach or anywhere close to nature. She likes how things can be busy in the concrete jungle and still she can enjoy nature within a few hours drive. Marietta, how are you today? I'm very good. Thanks, Aziz. How about you? I feel blessed. I feel super positive and excited to know much more about you today. So I'll begin with this nice first question, which is, Marietta, if your friends could describe your personality, what would they say about you? They would say I'm sweet, kind and generous, but then I'm tough when the situation needs me to be tough. How does that work? So for you in your mind, because there are many women who do not have the possibility to really separate, they either become people pleasers or they close themselves off whenever they're dealing with people in order to not get their boundaries crossed. What allows you to not be a people pleaser and not to be a closed off person but still maintain the balance? Well, over the years, I've learned that you can't please everyone and whatever you do, there are some people that would like you and some people who wouldn't like you. Like whatever you do, they would disapprove. So for me, it's a waste of time to try to please everyone when the fact of the matter is you can't please everyone. So I just go on with my life and whatever I think is good for my being and my sanity. I'm usually so I'm very nice and I'm kind, but then I want to make sure that nobody crosses that boundary. So if someone disrespects me, then that's when I become tough. I understand fully. I encourage that very, very much. And just to describe your life and evolution, if you can tell your story, how did you grow up and spend your life in Philippines? How did you decide to move on to Dubai? What attracted you about that city? Tell me a bit more. Right. So I grew up with three brothers. I'm the only girl and I was over protected. And this is in my entire life, I was over protected because I was the only girl. So this is what kind of pushed me to run away from Philippines because wherever I go, like there's always a guardian or something like that. Like when I went to Elo Elo to study, I had a guardian. And when I go to Manila, I have my relatives. So it's like everywhere in Philippines, it's I feel like I'm so guarded or like I'm over protected and I wanted to be independent. So after I graduated, I just applied for a job and I started out as a food and beverage hostess in Dubai. And everyone was just overreacting because they were like, why? Why are you going? We don't have relatives there. You don't know anyone. And in my head, I was like, yes, that's the reason. So this is how I started. And I hear like I want to make sure that like if I become big someday that I started from scratch because I don't want anyone to say like, oh, she became a manager because of connections or yeah, she's in that position because of her family or, you know, any factor whatsoever. I'd like to be known that I am capable of what I'm doing when I hit the top and literally that my experience and knowledge as well as skills, I learned it and I earned it. And that's what mattered to me the most. One hundred percent. I like that very, very much. And like you said, it was kind of an escape from the expectations of other people. Let's say there is a girl who's growing up and she wants to do something that follows her heart, but her parents maybe have an expectation for her, a different life that she does not want, but it is their plan. And really, she is either choosing to please them but not follow her own destiny or to follow her destiny and fear disappointing them. What would be your advice for her in such a situation? I would say take that risk because you live life only once and you can't live a life full of regret just trying to please other people. Like when I went to Dubai, like I was really having a hard time with the family. Like my father was quite questioning it and my mom was like, OK, but my mom was very cool. She's like, OK, do whatever you think you needed. I asked you to graduate and get a degree and you did it. So it's up to you. But then my relatives and my brothers, they were like still questioning. And for me, there might be confusion or like a miscommunication or there might even be conflict, but time heals all wounds. And the most important thing is that you live a life without regret. Yes, sure. If you take a risk, there's always consequences. There's always like a lot of ups and downs, but then it's really worth it. So if you feel like what's good for you and you feel like you really want to do something, yes, it's not like all rainbows and flowers and honey. There's there's difficulties, but then the rewards are far more than you can imagine. And it gives you that freedom and you become yourself, your whole self. You get to learn more about yourself. And that's what I believe will make you successful. I really, really agree with you on that. And I know as well for your mental health and self care being in nature and away from the city, the concrete jungle is an important part of your life. How do you do that in Dubai and the UAE, where it's mostly desert with some sea and beach, but it's not the same level of nature that you can find in the Philippines? How do you go about it? Is it enough for you when you are near that ocean, near the water that calms you and gives you a good feeling that is good enough? Do you love the desert? And to you, it is nature. Tell me a bit more. Well, sometimes if I want to clear my head, I just go straight to the beach and even by myself, like during the day, if everything is chaotic and I just go to the beach, I walk and I just by myself and I just reflect on life. And the sea breeze is really calming, the fresh air that comes with it. Well, I would say sea breeze because then it's not really fresh. It's like saltwater air. But it really calms me and the sound of the waves. So just getting in touch with nature helps you to reconnect with your being. And while the beach is very close to Dubai anyway, but then sometimes on weekends, I'd like to drive to the mountains. Because Cebu has a lot of mountains and we can just drive anytime. Just look at the city, just go to the mountains and just look at the city. Now, in Dubai, there are no mountains, but close Emirates like Ras Al Khayyama. There is a lot of mountains there. So I go there. I drive there and just enjoy. Thank you so much for sharing that. And I really want to know much more about you. So one of your interests and the things that you love is meeting people. Is it more about discovering new personalities, meeting new people? Is it reconnecting with already known people as before? What do people give you? Is it similar to nature that you are exploring and ascending mountains when you are learning more about people? Tell me a bit more about this. I like to meet new people and get their insights. I mean, the people that you already know. Yes, it helps you recharge, especially the ones who truly know you, because then they remind you of who you truly are. But meeting new people gives you a better mindset about the world because there's different characters, different nationalities. And what I enjoy most about meeting new people is that I get to learn from their journey. And their experiences as well as their mindset. So it really helps me open my mind to new perspectives. And life is beautiful. Everybody goes through different paths, different difficulties. So it helps you not to judge other people. Some might do some actions, which may not be of the norm. But then as you learn their stories, then you would understand. And it's really interesting for me because then you get to meet different personalities as well. And then you understand more about just humans in general and how everybody copes. And because then the downside of it is like compared to nature is that some people give you a bad energy. So if you meet new people, it's like a Russian relay because then you can't tell which one gives you positive energy and which one gives you bad energy. But then as soon as you feel like it's heavy talking to this person, I learned to disconnect myself. And over the years, I met some toxic people. And initially, I wasn't able to tap into that. When I meet people, I'm generally nice. But then later on, I learned from one person. She was super toxic. Initially, she was like, oh, I'm all about positivity. I'm all about girl power. But then as we were spending more time with each other, I felt like she was putting me down. And I always felt drained after being with her. So I just disconnected. I was like, no, this is not real. I mean, if it's really about positive energy empowering women and helping other women, she wouldn't put me down. And I wouldn't feel this heavy whenever I'm with her. So then that's the time that I was like, OK, I will disconnect with this person. Regardless, our connections, my sanity is more important. And my mental health. So I learned I can just cut anybody off. I mean, it won't affect me. It would affect me for worse if I keep toxic relationships, because then I wouldn't be productive. And I wouldn't be happy. I really, really agree with you on this. The people you surround yourself with matter and matter more than anything. And their energy makes the huge difference in how you feel and how you grow as a person. And you spoke about her, how she said that she believes in girl power, but she was toxic. Well, there are many women who speak about how competitive Dubai is when it comes to some women competing with each other. You as someone who's building her life in Dubai in a city where there are many ambitious people who are competing for opportunities. Did you experience this in general? What was your plan in order to deal with this competition and make a life for yourself? And did you notice that some women are competing with each other rather than being supportive? Like this project encourages. Yes. Most of the people who tried to put me down were women. And I was like, OK, initially I was competing with others. Like when I was younger, I was always whenever at work. I would try to compete with a colleague. But then later on, because like I was in sales later on, I was like, OK, it doesn't really get me anywhere because that. OK, I have this colleague that I want to beat in terms of numbers. But then I'm setting my goals according to her capability and not my capability. So what I did was I set my own goals, I set my own target and I competed with myself. And I think that's what made it work, because then if you compete with yourself, you're actually releasing the potential, your potential. So you're working on yourself. You try to find out what your weaknesses are and how you can improve yourself. So this is the most important lesson that I learned over the years, regardless of how competitive the market is. Each of us have their own assets and weaknesses. So if you compare yourself to others, if you compete with others, it really doesn't help you to reach your highest potential. You're limiting yourself to that person instead of your own. So this is the most most valuable lesson that I've learned about competitiveness. Yes, it's good to have competition. It's good, but keep it at a certain level, not to a lethal level where you damage yourself in the process. That's very, very important to say. And I agree with you that when someone is being toxic or over competitive, they're damaging themselves first. So it's not something that serves them or works for them at all. And nowadays you as someone who is doing her own thing, building your own projects, where do you get the inspiration from? And how did you choose exactly what you're doing today? Because you studied business and you studied things related to hotel management, etc. How is that linked with what you're doing today? Well, I like with business management. OK, so I was very carefree when I was young and I really didn't know what degree to take. So in my university, there was this course called Business Management, majoring in hotel and restaurant management. So I was like, OK, I think this is the best option. Because then what if I don't like business management? Then I have still the knowledge and skills of hotel and restaurant management. But what if I don't like hotel and restaurant management? Then I would still have the skills and knowledge about business management. So that really worked out for me because then I didn't know what I wanted. I was just like, OK, I got into that university and it's pretty hard to get in. So I was just like, OK, let's just go with it. And yeah, in the end, it worked out pretty well. I got into where I am now. For me, I don't stop learning. So when my ex-husband lost his job, I love to do makeup. Like it's one of my hobbies, but I only did it as a hobby. And when my ex-husband lost his job for a year, I started makeup. And I really enjoyed it. It's like my therapy sometimes. So I studied so I could actually earn money from it because I didn't want to charge without any certification. Then one thing led to another. I mean, I did makeup just through a side hustle to earn extra income. And later on, that's what got me into fashion industry. And I met more people and I met this wonderful person, my mentor, Ivy Caperalta. And she really helped me develop my talents and get connected. And yeah, one thing led to another. I mean, she's now my partner in the business. And we were like, OK, so it's crazy how life can take you. So I would say if you just are open to opportunities, OK, you have your set goals. You have your picture about what your life would be. But then you should be at the same time open to any changes in your life and any opportunities. And I guess that kind of mindset helped me reach where I am now because before I was so close to off, I was like, OK, this is my target. This is my goal. Nothing can stop me. I mean, I'm going to set to that goal. But then, you know, like life takes you in a different path. And if you're not open to it, you'd still be stuck in that goal that really wouldn't have worked for you. So, yeah, I mean, now it's it's thank God that everything is smooth. There are challenges. But then there's like in my experience, like with all the challenges I faced, I learned to be resilient. And I learned that each challenge will actually help you to become better and to be more successful with new challenges and bigger challenges. So it really is beautiful. Like life in general is amazing. It's I mean, if you're really open to learn more and be more adaptable and just embrace it, it's it's wonderful. That's absolutely a great insight because it's a personal choice to choose when there are challenges, whether to become bitter or get better and become a more positive, grown person because of it. And after your divorce, how was the experience of being responsible for everything, taking care of your loved ones and being you and up to you in order to survive in this world? Can you share a bit more about the emotions, the learning, the experience itself and how did you grow from it? When I was a child, when I was a teenager, I was always carefree and I always did what I wanted to do. So if I wanted to do say I wanted to learn something, I would. During my marriage, it was all controlled. So I was like floating. I mean, you're like a dead person, you're an autopilot. So after my divorce, I rediscovered myself. I was like, I was like, nobody can stop me. I mean, not nobody can stop me, but like no one is restricting me from doing what I want, what I truly want. So after my divorce, I immediately opened the business. And like I mentioned, since my ex-husband lost his job, I actually applied for a makeup course, which I wouldn't have been able to if he hadn't lost his job, because then it would be like, oh, I'm spending this and that. And I was like, no, I mean, I'm spending my own money. So, yeah, this really helped me. And it also helped me to become more independent in the sense that initially I wasn't doing the bills. Like I would contribute, but I'm not really responsible of going to online, like paying it exactly. But I would give the money. And now it's like very administration, which is like my weakness, but I'm enjoying it because then I'm overcoming one weakness, which is administration and organization. But I learned that even with things that you don't want to do, but you have to do it anyway, it helps you to become more successful. So this is what I'm doing now. I'm just being responsible for all bills and like really paying them on time and all that. So like just organizing everything. And it really helped me because I found my true self again. I rediscovered myself and it's amazing. It's like freedom because you really get to do what you want to do. And before I wanted to study master's, but like now maybe I put it on the side because then it's a bit too late for me, in my opinion. And, you know, life right now, it's very fast, like careers so fast, even courses, which before you might find really important. And basic and, you know, it's a fundamental. It's obsolete right now. So what I'm focusing on is just learning new skills and that could be that could be helpful in the future and for my business. I like that ambition and your growth from someone like you said, you used to be carefree. And I assume that means also more disorganized, but now the admin stuff and taking care of more of the organizational aspects makes you a lot more of a well-rounded individual. And you are someone who's immersed into the fashion world. Well, for some women's mental health, whenever, for example, they are models and they need to be in castings and they compare themselves to how other girls look. And maybe younger generation models and girls who compare themselves to Instagram photos that are posted. What is your advice to them so that they believe and see their unique beauty rather than compare themselves to others? And maybe if they go to a casting and don't get it, they say, oh, it's because she looks better than me. I don't look good enough or whatever it is where they take it personal. I would advise embrace your uniqueness, embrace yourself because your own beauty, nobody else has it. And you may not be picked for one casting. It's mainly because you didn't suit the requirements. Someone else suited the requirements best. Don't take it personal. There's a lot of jobs out there. So just keep working on yourself. Develop yourself. The more you embrace your own beauty, the more you embrace your strengths and uniqueness. That's what makes you really successful, truly successful. Like a lot of the top, top models in Dubai, as well as the talents, they work on their assets. Like we had a talent before for one client and he's like six to five and he has completely white hair. And he knew how to tap into that. I mean, he may not work with other projects, but he always looked into the possibilities of other projects. And he really capitalized on his look. So other younger models as well, they have their unique looks. So you have no idea how hard these models work. Like every day, like one of the top models in Dubai, every day he will work out. He wouldn't miss a day without working out. And I believe he's just really developing himself. He's improving himself every day, surrounding himself with professional people, like-minded people who have the same targets and goals in his life. And he's really truly successful. He flies out to Maldives and so on. And it's these people that inspire me. And I always, always tell, especially the fresh faces, I tell them, don't try to be someone else. Because then in the photos, it would show your insecurity. So if you truly love yourself and embrace yourself, that's when you get comfortable. So in the photos, that would reflect. In your work, it would reflect. So that, I believe, is the key to becoming more successful and helping you in general to become a better person, is to truly embrace your own unique beauty. And as now I'm in Riyadh and I get a lot of comments from top photographers like Marietta, everyone here is like Ukrainian and Russian. And we're looking for unique faces. So I tell them, yeah, the models that we have are all different. I mean, I don't get models only at a certain nationality. I try to be as diverse as possible. And yeah, so this is my advice. Maybe you have a mole on the right cheek. So that is your unique point. Work on it. Don't even try to remove it. And also, yeah, that's my advice. Thank you for sharing that. I believe that's very important advice. So I want more. Based on your diverse life experience and the ups and downs and everything that happened, if there is something in a piece of advice or a lesson that you think if you shared with other women, they can live that year, have more successful lives or just be better. And remember to be better. What will be your advice to other women so that they can live up to their potential and have a happier life? Embrace yourself, like your whole being. I'm one sixty three in height and I know that I can't be runway and I'm super camera shy. So definitely I'm not going to be a model. But then I have other I have other assets. I have other skills which can help me grow and be truly who I am. So don't compare yourself with others. Everyone is unique. Work on your assets. Work on your strengths. And also don't be arrogant. Like you might think, OK, I'm on the top now. Everyone has weaknesses. If you make mistakes, embrace it. Admit that you made a mistake and then learn from that. Don't be arrogant. Just work on yourself. Be positive. OK, there are some challenges. But then the world is round. Life has ups and downs. So you can't like at my most at my worst point in my life, I realized if you're at the bottom, there's really no other way but up. And that's what kept me going. I mean, you can't you're already at the bottom. Where else can you go? So you have to pick yourself up. You work on what you have. OK, so let's say you're done. You're depressed. But then that's not you. You have positive aspects. Everyone has positive aspects in life. And everyone has good skills. Everyone has something that they're good at. So tap into that. Embrace that. And work on it. Then you have passion. You have things that you would want to do. Work on it. Then later on, that's how you discover yourself. That's how you become a better person. And that's how you actually grow. So just continue working on yourself. Learn. Don't stop learning. And always learn from others. Instead of comparing yourself to others, learn from them. Learn what could work for you from that person. So if you meet a person and you see that they're very successful, then you try to find out what makes them successful. And if there's negative parts of that person, just disregard it. I mean, oh, OK, then I won't do that. So whatever you see from other people, you take the positive and apply it on yourself. Negatives, just disregard it. And what I would advise as well, social media, it's very superficial. There's a lot of filters. There's a lot of Photoshop and stuff. And then if you notice, everyone looks the same. So it gets boring. Why not be different? Well, I know she just embraced your uniqueness. And that's what makes you stand out, actually. So for me, there's really no point in comparing yourself to others. It's really when you truly embrace yourself, embrace your positives, including negatives. That's the beauty of life. That's how you grow as a person. And that's what would make you succeed. Because you already know yourself in and out. And you know, OK, I can't manage this. You get to set expectations. So in the business, if someone tells you like, oh, this, this, this, you could immediately say, no, I can't do that. Or if you see there's a possibility that you can manage that, it may be challenging. But then it's going to help you further your career and do it. But put your mind and whole being into it so that it will be successful. Thank you so much, Marietta. It was honestly my privilege and my honor to have you here, to share your voice and your story and your wise thoughts. I wish you continuing success and to keep inspiring people and doing great work in this world. Thank you again for participating. Thank you as well as these for this opportunity. And I hope I help other women to embrace themselves and spread positivity.
