Episode Transcript
Hello, my name is Aziz and I'm the son of a divorced mother. She is really my superhero. That's why it's important for me to support women to share their uniqueness, their personalities, perspectives, and emotions about life. Too many women in this world feel alone. They worry about the judgment of others and they struggle with their mental health, but when they listen to the Rare Girls podcast where empowered women share their voices and tell their stories, many women will feel inspired to live a life of freedom and to overcome all insecurities. They will feel it is a safe space to find their confidence to remember their unique beauty and to feel their self worth. And they will connect to the sisterhood of Rare Girls who encourage their success and support their dreams. That's what this podcast is all about. My guest today is Jennifer Onyegbola. Jennifer is a media student living in Dubai, UAE, extremely social. Jennifer loves people, good vibes, and good parties. She is a model, a blogger, and a TikTok influencer. Jennifer, how are you today? Hi, I'm doing great. Thank you. I'm happy, excited, and looking forward to know much more about you. So I'll begin with this nice first question, which is, Jennifer, if your friends could describe your personality, what would they say about you? I'll say not working, inspiring, because mostly my friends are always like, wow, how are you doing all of that? You're always like, you know, from one project to the other, you have something always going on. And quite keeping to myself just a bit, because when I am not there trying to party, I love to be by myself. So it's like between those two things. So I'll say they find me confusing sometimes in general, but really hardworking. It's like, OK, this girl likes to bust her ass off. She's always doing something. Yeah, pretty much. Let me know more about that, because that's very, very important. What drives you to be so hardworking and involved in so many projects? Is it something that in your childhood, you notice that if you don't make a name for yourself and do something, nothing happens? Is it that you're a girl that gets bored easily? And so you are driven by boredom. Is it that you're so creative and you're just addicted to making new things in this world? Is it just because it gives you energy as in more of a social butterfly? Or what could be the reason why you are always up to something new? Honestly, I'm very bored most times. It's like I have nothing to do. What am I using my time to do? Like, I believe like time is important, you know, like if you if I sit down at home and I'm doing nothing all day and I'm watching, let's say YouTube. But I think to myself, somebody made this YouTube video. And somebody is making money from my views and all. But I'm here wasting my time watching that. You know, like I personally feel like it doesn't make any sense to like use my time on RiceBeat. Like, I think like if I'm here, like on this earth, I might as well use my time to do something that makes sense. So every single time I see myself doing nothing, I feel like, girl, this is not what we're here to do. I need to do better. I need to make an impact in my own way and stuff like that. So Boredom plays a role. My childhood plays zero because my parents do. You know, my mom expects a lot from me because at the end of the day, I came from Nigeria all the way to Dubai here. Not to joke or whatever, you know, because like, OK, you came all the way. What the fuck are you doing? OK, I'm going to say a lot. But I like, yeah, pretty much what I might as well use my time and use my life to do something. I can't just be used then. So pretty much this is what drives me all the time. I can't be wasting my time. It doesn't make any sense to me. Oh, yeah. Thank you for saying that. I noticed that you said that whenever you are, let's say, wasting time or watching a YouTube video, you think, girl, this is not what you're meant to do on this earth. What does that mean? Does it like do you have some kind of feeling that you are meant to be a princess in this earth or to be somewhat important on this planet? Is it because, like you said, your mom told you, no, you're here in order to not joke, but to work hard. And that's what you mean with that. Or what does that mean? How do you see yourself in this world? Do you see yourself as like someone special with a great destiny? And so you don't waste time in order to do that. Or is it more you see yourself as responsible for other people and family? Or what does that mean when you said that sentence? Well, I would say like I see myself as somebody who is meant to do better as a great person, like you said. But I really would not like to call myself as a great person. I think that it's too. No, this thing. Like, oh, my God, I'm such a great person. No, no. I don't think myself as anything of such. I just feel like I have an ideology. We all as humans are here to do something like everybody has a purpose. Everybody has things to do. And personally, I feel like I have a calling, especially when it comes to media. I have a voice. I have a perspective on things. And I just want to share and help people in any way that I can. Yeah, share and help people in any way I can. And yeah, simply simply make the world a better place. I believe we are all here to help each other and make the world a better place. So when I'm not putting my own weight, I know and I know I sound like so stupid right now, but like, but this is just my belief. I just believe that this is how it's supposed to be. So pretty much I and I have a high moral to that. That's how I like to live my life. Like we are all here to do something. I'm here to play my own role and I'm going to do it the best I can. Thank you so much for sharing that. And I can link it to something else. There are a lot of women and, you know, whether they are at university or anywhere else who maybe they have a calling away that they see themselves helping the world. But their parents would not approve. Maybe they think, oh, it's too crazy or it won't make you money. Go get that accounting or lawyer diploma or whatever it is. And therefore they are conflicted because they're trying to do what will make their family like them or be proud of them. But at the same time, they feel that they are not open or that they are limited and they cannot explore their true desires. And therefore they feel the sense of people pleasing that keeps them stuck and alive. That is not the life they want. Have you dealt with this? What's your advice to such women? What do you think that allows you to absolutely feel that you should follow your calling to help people use in media rather than live up to someone else's expectations? Can't believe enough of people's expectations. My parents in the beginning, like back in high school, coming to Dubai and stuff like that, you are like, oh, choose a cost. Actually, I was studying business. I was a business major before I was a business major before, but I changed my course to marketing. And then marketing was good. But well, I started taking a lot of internships in marketing so that I can like conform and get used to it by the time I'm done with my degree. But the more internships I took, I found out that it was not for me. I didn't resonate so much with this. And if I stay in that industry for a long time, I would crash. I would hate myself. I would hate my job and everything. My mom, she's the best person in the world. My happiness is her happiness. She's like, whatever makes you happy makes me happy. So if you feel like this is not satisfying to you, this is not making you happy anymore. We will switch. She is always she always has my back. Whatever. OK, this is what you want now. OK, like she is always having my back in every single thing. So I'm so happy for a supportive parent by my side. Like it is the best thing in the world. But I've also had friends who come from homes where it's like, you know, their father or their mom is like, I'm not going to take you to school if you're not going to be a doctor. I'm not going to do this. And I watch them. And for me, it's like so sad because like I don't know what it feels to be in that in that position. And I feel really, really bad for them. But also it's like I would encourage any person like if you feel like like, you know, you have to make your parents proud in this, I would do it. Just make my parents proud if I can do it. But at the end of the day, at some point, I'm going to have to live my life. So do what makes them happy while doing something that makes you happy. You know, you can you can do two things at the same time. Who said maybe you like you like sewing clothes. You can be in school for medicine and by the side you just be sewing something or maybe you like to cook, you know, you can be in school for, I don't know, medicine and still be cooking by the side. Why can't you? You can do two things at once. You can do anything you want to do. Like, I don't believe in, you know, again, I don't know what it feels like to be in that position, but I will tell you for me, I always do multiple things at once. Oh, I like this thing now. I start to do it to see how much I really like it and if it really applies to me as a person and, you know, if this could actually help me or maybe it's just the random hobby and I'm just going to drop it tomorrow, you know. But keep chasing anything you want. If you feel like today, now, this is what I feel like. Chase it and see because you never know, especially when you're a young person, you know, you don't want when you're old, then what? OK, so you have to when you're young, you have to chase as many things as possible. This is the best time to chase as many things as possible. Don't just limit yourself like one thing. Keep chasing them pretty much. The pursuit of happiness. And so it's very, very important. And I remember you spoke now about how if you stayed within the marketing field, you would have hated your life. Well, I can understand that all that emotion comes from interactions with people. So to understand even more, what kind of people do you resonate most with? Is it people who are more chilled out so that they calm you down when you are high energy or is it people who are also on a high wavelength and then you fire each other up? Or what kind of people when you're meeting new people, especially moving from Nigeria to a new place that you choose or believe have the characteristics to be good friends and the people you enjoy to spend time with? Usually I get along with almost everybody, like especially when you're females, like because we're girls and girls, girls have each other's back and girls and girls. I'm a girl's girl. Like I'm 100 percent a girl's girl. So like no matter how you are, I usually try to blend in and like, you know, talk to you and be friendly with you. But like I'm not like you're not like my best friend or anything. We're just like maybe acquaintances or anything like that. But for you to actually get to be my friend, like hang out or doing stuff like that, you just have to be a very good and down to earth person. I love people who I can say like, you know, they're down to earth. You're good. You're not, you know, trying to look better than somebody or whatever. Like, you know, just people who are nice, genuinely nice from inside out. These kind of people tend to be like closer to me, like, OK, I can resonate with this person more and I can be really close to you because like I don't I don't feel like, you know, tomorrow you would, you know, go against me to do some shady stuff or whatever. Like, I just like nice people. If I feel like your energy is good and you're very genuine, definitely we're going to be hanging out all the time. But usually I can hang out with everybody and anybody, but to be closer, it has to be like I have to sense more genuity from you, impati from you. I love people who are empathetic. I see that you like to help people. You like this kind of people. I love to be around. I love that energy. Yeah. Yes, it's clear how important people are in your life and you're always aiming to help people in every way. And now with media, you're a blogger. Can you share a bit more about what do you do there? How do you intend to help people? What is that all about? Because it's an extra curricular activity for you. So the effort has a reason, I'm sure. Yeah. So actually, I started my blog two years ago after I break up because I was bored. I was like, oh, my God, I'm so bored. I hate my cost that time I was taking markets and I was in markets and I hate my cars. I hate my life. I just had a breakup and I don't know what to do with my life. And I was like, OK, shit, I'm just going to start making videos on TikTok. And then I started making videos on TikTok and I was like, I need more views. So I would research on how to get more views on my post and stuff like that. Like I was just making anything. I was like anything as long as it gets used. But I was already into fashion, into modeling. So I would make more videos on fashion and stuff like that. And yeah, slowly, slowly, my videos began to pick up slowly, slowly. I my video got viral. I was like, what? My video got viral. I had millions of views. I've got actually an article with The Sun newspaper and stuff like that. So I was like, whoa, what is happening here? This is so crazy to me. And then all of a sudden, my account got spanked. I was like, you know, I started a new account. And as I started my new account, my new accounts that I do is so much better, like so much better than the first account. Like all the videos were popping off all of them. And I was like, wait, these videos are getting no views of my first account. All of a sudden they get all the views in this account. And I was like, oh, my God, it's so cool. And and I just never looked back since then. And I focused more of my videos on like helping women and, you know, how to start according to your body type. I mostly mostly, to be honest, I studied this because it was doing better than every other video I was doing. But as time goes on, people in my comment section would be like, oh, I'm so skinny. And every time I wear my clothes, I feel like a stick. Could you please like help me, you know, to get on what type of outfits I would wear to make me feel more confident in my body stuff like this? I stood in my comment section and all. So like I would make like more videos pertaining to that. And I do a lot of research. I do a lot of research because like I didn't get all of these ideas or obviously from nowhere I have to research and make sure that I'm getting the right information to share and make awareness on my videos. So this is pretty much how it all started. And I'm so bad. I'm so glad I took that step at that time. Yeah, it helps. And it's paving the way for me and for other ladies out there. For sure. And then I have a question about fashion. Why do you love it or like it? And you are interested in it from the beginning. Is it because it makes you feel like you can be different identities and characters and so escape boredom of life? Is it it makes you look beautiful? Like you said, some women can work with their body shape. Is it for you some artistic kind of passion that you use yourself as a canvas? Or is it simply something that you believe is a way for you to find other interests so that you can think about something and not be bored? What is to you the core reason why fashion was part of your identity even before the video started popping off? Fashion has been part of my identity for as long as I could remember. When I was younger, my mom would always reward me with new clothes or new jewelry. Like it's it's been my thing. I would go to gatherings and I would see women like putting on like clothes and like they look so good in it. And I'm like, oh, my gosh, these clothes complements her body. Like she's tall and this like this she's tall and she has a slim figure and, you know, it suits her perfectly. How does that work? How did that happen? So it's like I say it's like a science of wearing clothes or what I say an art of wearing clothes. Like how come you put this small T-shirt and these pants and it looks like this on you? But this other girl can put on this small T-shirt and the same pants and it looks so different on her. It's really fascinating to me. You know, I find this kind of things very fascinating. I love it. I want to study it. I am into it every day. I'm never bored or trying to understand, you know, how clothes work, how it fits people and how it sits differently on everybody difference for everybody. So this is really inspiring to me. And some people have come up to me and like, why are you always talking about people's bodies? You're always talking about why you're so skinny, you're so fat, you're so this, you're so bad. They're like, oh, maybe this is what is causing you your mental health is like going down the drain and stuff like that because because you're always talking about body, body, body, body, body, body, body, body, talk about something else. I mean, they have a point, but I love this. I love talking about this. I have always been body focused. I know I've always been body focused. I've always cared about how it looks on you, how the clothes looks on you. It's something passionate and something I'm passionate about. I love clothes. I love clothes so much. I'm not just because of luxury or not luxury. It doesn't matter if the clothes are like 20 grams or like 2000 grams. I love the way it sits. I like the science behind it. So it's enough reason for me. It's enough reason for me to be fascinated by all of that. So, yeah, that's how it is for me. Thank you so much for sharing that. And then I'm wondering, how does media and media study add to your love of fashion? Why didn't you go and straight up study fashion design or something else? Why media and how is it linked to your love for helping people and for your love for how different bodies are affected by different cuts of clothes and all that? My love of media, I do love talking to people a lot. I do love relating with people. I love, aside from clothes, I love pop culture. I am a pop culture queen. I love to know what Hailey Bieber is doing next, what Justin Bieber is doing next. I love to know what the weekend, the next new weekend song is. I love to know the next Drake song, everything. So even currently right now, I'm working in a company that deals with film production. Yeah, I work with film production, we sign artists and all. I love to hear things like this. Like, I love to be in media, but not like media, like, I don't know, news, anchor media. I mean, I would be a news anchor if I'm talking about Justin Bieber. This is why things that make me feel happy. Like, when I'm not talking about clothes, I love to be all up in celebrities' asses. Sorry, I love celebrities a lot. I love to talk about the next celebrity gossip and stuff like that. But yeah, I think it ties to my love for it because I can do, I can talk about clothes all day. I can be in fashion. I can wear whatever I want to wear. I can be having photo shoots tomorrow and next tomorrow. But also I can still talk about, you know, celebrity culture, Hollywood and anything of such nature. It's my thing. I love movies. I love music. I love culture. Of course, I mean, to all of it, all of it, fashion is just one part of it. Yeah. That's really, really nice. And it reminds me as well, since I noticed you mentioned some people would criticize you and have a point of saying you're only speaking about bodies and people's bodies. And that might affect your mental health. There are a lot of women who might struggle with mental health. Do you have any tips or tricks or ways that you found if someone is within a mental health spiral? How to get out of it? How to care for it? What are some things that maybe you have discovered that could help another woman or more that could be in that situation and listening right now and would go try and benefit from your own discoveries? Over the years, I've taken a lot of therapy, like a lot of therapy. I think four years ago, two years ago, I was going for therapy sessions like almost every day because I was having really bad mental health struggles. It was so bad. Like it was really, really bad. But stopping therapy and I'm not saying don't take therapy, but like stopping therapy and trying to focus on myself has really helped me in ways I didn't know it would. What I'm saying, focus on myself is like go to the beach, take a walk, write down journals, listen to myself, not the inner thoughts in my head saying go and stop yourself. But I kind of stop. I believe self-love has a role to play when you're having mental health struggles because personally, this is just my personal experience. Most of the times I'm having like mental problems, it's more like I don't like myself, I hate myself, I hate my life. I want to jump down the balcony. It's like a lot of crazy things I'm thinking in my head. So I have to look into my life and be grateful for the little things that are happening. Hey, what about the fact that I'm here in Dubai? I have so many friends back home who are looking for help to not be in the country and go other places, but they are not able to, but I'm here. What about this? I have to look at the little things and try to be grateful for even the smallest things that are happening in my life. I have to journal and be grateful for the little things that are happening to me every day. Oh, be proud of myself for every little thing. Oh, today I woke up and I made my bed and I went for that podcast I really wanted to go to. I'm so proud of myself. Those kind of little things I tell myself, I'm proud of you, girl. Like when I take little steps and I show myself appreciation for doing those little things, I begin to believe in myself slowly again and again. So this really helps me in the long run. Like the more I do this, the better I feel. The more I do this, the better I feel. I believe I can do this. I can conquer. People have done it and I can do the exact same thing. Yeah, so pretty much this is how I've gone through it over the years. It happens from time to time, but I have to catch myself falling every single time. It's just part of being human. We all go through things like this. Like we have to like, I feel like these are even things that need to be put into our education. Sorry, because who tells you when you're young that you're going to be feeling down one day and you might want to stab yourself, but hey, you have to hold yourself. I think everybody needs to get to know this, but for some reason, they don't tell anybody when you're young. Now you have to face it by yourself. Yeah. And in continuation in this vein of wisdom, I love this. So to finish, is there any kind of insight, any lesson, anything that you believe more women should remember so that they feel happier, take care of themselves, live life fully, not die with their songs and their heart, anything that either you learned recently or you try to remember or you believe more women would be helped by knowing? Can you share that now? A lesson women should remember. I will say some days are slow. Some days are fast. Some days are the worst. Some days are the best. But no matter what, you just, you know, you can't really do anything about what you can't do anything about. Basically, if I can't do anything about this, I can't. And I just have to take life one at a time, step by step. And if you're patient with yourself and you're patient with life, you will get there. You will get there. And I tell myself this every day takes life one at a time. I'm a kind of person who likes to rush. I like to see results immediately and can be extremely impatient and everything. But I have to remind myself every single time, nothing good comes easy. If I get to where I want to get to immediately, I might not even know how to handle it the moment I get there. So one step at a time, slowly, slowly, we will get there. I have to be patient and I have to keep working. Consistency is the most important thing. This is it. - 100%. Thank you so much, Jennifer. I'll make sure to write your Instagram in the description for people who want to learn more about you to follow up. And it was my honor and privilege to have you here to share a piece of your soul, a bit of your thoughts and perspective. I wish you all the success in the world. The world to keep growing your media empire and your vlog and keep going. - Thank you so much. You're the best. I really appreciate from the bottom of my heart. Thank you.
