E008 Valeriia Radchenko

Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 0:08 Femininity is powerful in all its forms, exceptional women, rare girls must be appreciated in every way for their perspectives, actions, thoughts, and their unique ways of being. Such rare girls are inspiring. And this is what this podcast is all about. Hello, my name is Aziz and my guest today is Valeria Radchenko. Valeria is a flex alumna of 2019, an ex AISEC member, and currently studying international relations and social communications at Borys Grinchenko University in Ukraine. She is also working as an affiliate manager at the international companies Jooble. Valeria is inspired by travel, creating aesthetic photos on her Instagram, writing poems, and dancing. Now, she dreamed of returning to a peaceful Ukraine, Valeria. How are you today? Valeriia Radchenko 1:23 Thank you very much as is for the introduction. Actually, it's a lovely day, and I'm happy that we had a chance to find time for our conversation. So I'm really excited for the talk. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 1:34 Me too, I'm lucky, I'm honored. I'm grateful. And I want to explore you as a person. And as a woman. Since this podcast is about girls, we should always begin with this. What is to you? The definition of femininity? How do you experience it? Is it some energy? Some look some behavior? And do you consider yourself a highly feminine person? Or more masculine or middle? How do you feel? Valeriia Radchenko 2:11 Thank you very much for such a thought provoking question. Actually, I believe there is no exact answer to this question. Because it all depends on your personality traits, how you feel yourself in the society and in your inner self. But to me, femininity is actually represented through energy. It's, first of all, something pure, it's about peace. It's about your inner strength, which is represented through different things in woman. And if to talk about myself, I think that there is a combination of something feminine and masculine. Because sometimes, yes, it can be pure, I just want to spread peace and find something beautiful in the world. And sometimes I have to be responsible, which is first of all connected, I think, with masculinity when you have to fear something when you have to take a look at the competition, for example. So I believe every person find some kind of percentage of femininity and masculinity in themselves. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 3:16 Thank you. And I've you mentioned energy, are you able to feel people's energy? Do you experience people in an energetic way? Or do you need time and conversation before you begin to sense the energy of somebody? Valeriia Radchenko 3:35 Actually, to me, I think that it's important to have some time to understand what kind of energy that person is spreading. Because I think that for me, it's important to identify is there I will be able to be that close or that open to the person? And yes, I believe that energy is represented through talk through maybe some just gestures through talking to a person sharing and knowing their experience, and then you decide whether this energy fits yours and you can have something in common. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 4:06 Do you feel that you can get along in a more closed way with any kind of person? Or do you feel somehow that there are soulmates not in the traditional way, but like people you meet and you feel you know them all your life and you just vibe with them as if it's not the first meeting? Valeriia Radchenko 4:29 I think it will be a great practice to fall in love with all the people on earth and to find something in common. In this case, you would have an endless amount of friends I think, but for me, it doesn't really work like this. I guess I would have to talk to a person to get them to get them know better a little bit to understand if we have some kind of a match or no. So this is that's how it usually happens. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 4:55 Thank you and since you said femininity is the Find by each person and all that to you. Let's speak specifically to you, Valeria. When do you feel the most feminine? And do you prefer partners or men or whoever, who are more masculine like some guests said that, that gives them a feeling of positive vulnerability and protection while someone else she said she prefers feminine men, because it makes her feel powerful. And lets her forget all her insecurities when she is in the masculine role share about your experience. Valeriia Radchenko 5:39 I believe that first of all, masculinity is acceptable for me when I feel protected, and love. So that's why it's more easier for me to talk to men who are smart, who know what they want from life who like to take responsibility, and who can give direct and straight answers to what they like, what they don't like, so that I don't have to wonder and maybe misunderstand some things. Yeah, so for me, I like to feel protected. I like when the person has some orienteers in life, and when we can, hopefully build like something together in terms of friendship, or in terms of relations at work, or in terms of just being friends or maybe having some kind of romantic relationship. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 6:24 Thank you. And, you know, there are some kind of stereotypes about touch, although they tend to be more correct and incorrect, but we will see, like, in Latin cultures, people are comfortable with hugging, even if they're the first meeting. Well, in some cultures, it's not. Some of the guests from Ukraine, the woman they said, in a romantic context, on a first meeting, they like to be touch, because it lets them feel and experience the energy of the man and the person. While others said I grew up in a family where there wasn't kissing, or hugging or anything. So touch is too intimate, too intense, and it's not something that she would be comfortable with. Until after a long, long time. Valeriia Radchenko 7:15 Actually, it's a really interesting question, because on the one hand, too, when people don't experience a lot of love, or touches when they're kids, it could be something not familiar to them when they grow up. But on the other hand, when you don't get enough love, as a kid, you're probably looking for it when you grow up. So that's why you become more touchable, or you want to maybe talk more to the people or to find out more about them. So if to talk about myself, I'm a pretty touchable person, especially with the ones that I love, or those people who I want to get close with. It's not only development, it's it's implanted could be even bout girls, when I miss my girlfriends. And when we go somewhere, I want to hug them I want maybe sometimes even to kiss them in the cheek or maybe to hold their hands and something like this. So if we talk about like relationships, so I believe that there are some measures that are acceptable in terms of touches when you go on the first date, for example. But yes, when you feel that this is this is a romantic, something romantic that is coming from both sides, of course, I would probably become more touchable. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 8:29 Thank you and tell me about aesthetics and aesthetic photos? What message do you try to share with them? You know, if Valeriia Radchenko 8:40 actually it is something that gives me a lot of energy. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 8:45 When it comes to aesthetic? Is it a message you're trying to convey? Is it something? How do you tell when a photo matches your style and represents Valyria? What about it? Makes it something worthy of keeping sharing and putting on your Instagram? Or not? How do you tell what emotions that give you and why is it important? Valeriia Radchenko 9:14 Actually, I Stetic so is something that brings me a really great energy because to some extent, I think that I'm a creative person and I need to see something beautiful in order to feel good. So first of all, when I look at the picture, and it represents my mood, and in the majority of cases I wanted to represent calm because this is something that I that I miss right now. Because of the the whole situation in our country and everything that is going on, and just in general in life. So to me it's something that has a connection between colors, shapes, something that represents your mood, something that looks beautiful, it could be sometimes just food. Just a nice story. Don't just to talk about with friends, or something that just gives you a great energy when you look at it. So in terms of photos creation, it's also a creative process when you have to find things that match or when you want to represent a specific mood. So to me, it's a really creative job that can really give you a great time. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 10:23 I love that answer. And well, isn't that the energy of femininity? Valeriia Radchenko 10:30 Indeed, yes. I think that it has some connection with feminine energy, because it is also something pure, something creative, something that spreads peace, especially for talking about calmness. So yeah, I agree. But also, when you create a photo, there could be a different energy in it, it could be passion, it could be sadness, or something, something like this. So I don't actually think that it's connected only with femininity, it could touch different emotions and feelings. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 11:04 Does your mood and your emotions change throughout the day, in unexpected ways, or since you said, your favorite thing to convey is calm, or you're more mentally, in a way calm, almost all the time. Valeriia Radchenko 11:21 Actually, my mood does change. Many times throughout the day, especially when the war started, it's really difficult sometimes to keep yourself in a calm mode. When in one minute, you're just concentrated on work, or you have a nice conversation with friends. And then you take look at the news. And there's something horrible happened. Of course, it's it's difficult, but I'm working on it to stay in the same mental stage and to give myself some kind of peace, you know, peace, I would say. So I believe that it's important to find something that calms you down that reminds you about good emotions that can give you give you an opportunity to feel this stability in your emotions. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 12:08 Tell me about the war. How did it change you? How did you experience it? Who are you now? And how are you different because of this unfortunate invasion? Valeriia Radchenko 12:23 I think it will be a really deep question and long talk. Because actually, I didn't believe till the last minute that such a horrible invasion could happen. Because a lot of people were talking about it, some people were expecting something horrible. But as for me, I was staying updated with the news. But I couldn't believe that actual bombs would start falling on our land. And people would be fearing all of these and just escaping to the places where they could feel safe. So when it all started, some some of my family who went to another region in Ukraine in a village. Yeah, so we stayed there. For some time, we were trying to help other people, especially like in the regional park, if we were collecting some food and sending it there. And after spending some time, we also traveled to a western part of Ukraine in order to be safe, and yeah, we were trying to help out there somehow. And after that, we moved to Hungary. This is where I'm located now. And actually, it's horrible to realize that is the 5650 If I'm not mistaken, 56 day of war, and of course, you you kind of adjust to it. But it's really weird phrase to say that you adjust to a war because it's it's definitely not something that you would want to happen ever in your life. But you again, you have to stay mentally stable, because if you don't, that would be the desirable victory for our enemy. And this is not something that we can accept. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 14:05 I agree with you 1000 million percent. And I want to understand something because millions and millions and millions of Ukrainians are now abroad. There are two things that are important. One, do you feel they will return when the war is over? Or it's natural and human that they will have new lives, new jobs, new educational opportunities, and therefore they might think, well, I already established something around here. Why return to some to you know, to unknown situation in Ukraine after the war. Do you feel that won't be the case or everybody will be more into returning, rebuilding, sacrificing and making Ukraine even better than before? Valeriia Radchenko 14:59 At Actually, I think that it all depends on the individual cases, because I believe that people wouldn't be donating so much money wouldn't be sharing things wouldn't be accepting people to their homes if they didn't want to come back. So of course, for some people, it's just, it's just safer to go abroad, especially if you have a nice, nice and safe place to stay there. Just wait to help in ways that they can. And then of course, come back home, because this is something that you that you were building for many years, this is your family, your friends, your job, your I don't know, your cat. So of course, many people are awaiting to the moment when they when they can come back. And even though they are having a great time abroad. But for those people, especially I think for some young people who are interested in having some kind of work experience or living abroad, and they have such an opportunity. Now, it could mean that it's just it was just like, let's say an opportunity to implement it all faster to understand if it works for you or not. And they can just stay there and continue their lives. But I do want to believe that many people will come back because I truly believe that Ukraine has really bright minds, and they will all help to rebuild the country. So yeah, Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 16:23 thank you. That's absolutely perfect to say and share. And I know how important for you it is to talk about mental health to help people's mental health. A lot of experts say that there will be a trauma because of this war in this generation and any Ukrainian alive today that there will be a lot more PTSD learned helplessness, nightmares, negativity and fear, because of this situation, and that you will need more generations to return to what was before or even better when it comes to mental health. Do you agree with this? Do you feel that a victory will bring back happiness to Ukrainian people and glory and heal the wounds or that there will be wounds in the whole society that will stay for a long, long time? Valeriia Radchenko 17:25 Actually, I believe that, of course, everyone is waiting for our victory. And I do believe that it will happen. It's just the matter of time. And we don't know the exact answer when it will all end. But even though all the people are trying to understand that emotional stability is important, and that you have to that you don't have to go to this dark side of yourself, where you just hate everything you don't understand why it happened to your life, and how how you can just stay sane during all this. But I think that the trauma will be left for sure. And I don't believe that it's possible to forget and to forgive everything. So I think that people will just have to stay united and to help each other out in terms of like, understanding how to live with this and how to build like a future positive future life. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 18:22 Thank you. And currently, you're outside of Ukraine, of course, you're keeping in touch with Ukrainians who are left behind or your friends all over Europe and the world. Do you feel maybe I had a guest who she said she was in Prague and to her Prague is almost like little Ukraine because everywhere she goes, she hears the Ukrainian language spoken. She sees the Ukrainians. And she feels almost like an A new architectural part of Ukraine. Do you have the same feeling? And do you feel that you're surrounded by Ukrainians everywhere you go? Or how was your experience of it? How are your emotions now with this whole situation living there abroad? Valeriia Radchenko 19:15 Actually, I do see that Ukraine is literally everywhere now. I wasn't able to visit of course, each European country but you can find proofs everywhere online that people are taking part in protests, they are sharing posts, they are creating some handmade, and, you know, T shirts connected to Ukrainian culture and all that. Actually, I don't feel the same situation here in Hungary that your guest mentioned about Prague. Because there's still in each country. There's different percentage of support. But actually, I see that in many countries, there are different ways of support In terms of like financial or maybe some communities are created some people is given some some help is given to people, it just depends maybe on the political sides of us, of course and the history behind it. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 20:12 So you personally, how do you keep yourself sane and keep your mental health and distract yourself from all the horror so that you don't go insane? What do you do? And what is your advice to other Ukrainians who might be in a negative mental place right now, unable to do much or to move forward just frozen, waiting for the news glued to their phones, TVs, Telegram channels, etc. Valeriia Radchenko 20:45 I do believe that it's important to remind yourself, what are the things that give you that bring positive moments and that give you a great energy, something trivial, or something connected with routine that you had before the war, because it reminds you about your previous life, it brings back some of your habits, some of the positive emotions, as I mentioned. So if you had something that brought you great energy, it could be dancing, it could be writing, it could be recording videos, or singing, I don't know, it's important to let yourself do this. Even though there are places that I've been bombarded. There are people who don't have access to food, I do understand all of this. And that's why we have a lot of volunteers and people who are really united and supportive. But it doesn't mean that you that you have to intentionally put yourself in the same position when you actually have a chance to live a better life and to create something that will keep you sane. So it is important to understand what brings you pleasure and do it as much as possible. There's nothing bad about it. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 21:52 Thank you. And how did it make you feel you spoke about all the volunteers, all the help from Europe? And even like, many people didn't expect this much solidarity? How did it make you feel that make you feel closer to Europe? Did it make you feel good about humanity that people are good everywhere? How is your perspective about that help? Valeriia Radchenko 22:22 I think it's made me feel a bit more hurt by Europe. I mean, because some people especially from abroad, they didn't hear much about Ukraine and of course, it's really said on one hand that they had to find out about us when the war started. But still I see that European countries and people there they value democracy they value freedom and they are trying to help in ways that they can so it's it's really great to see that people are staying United even though we're separated by borders, but we are just United but but one goal is to have which is to have peace and to help people out. Even by doing some some little things. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 23:07 Thank you so much. Valyria this was a privilege and honor and Slava Ukraini Valeriia Radchenko 23:16 Heroyam Slava!