Episode Transcript
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 0:00
your femininity is powerful in all its forms exceptional women, rare girls must be appreciated in every way for their perspectives, actions, thoughts, and their unique ways of being. Such rare girls are inspiring. And this is what this podcast is all about. Hello, my name is Aziz and my guest today is Heelys, avetta fraud case. Lisa is a freshman at two universities law at the National University of key of mohila Academy in Ukraine, and Business Economics at Taras Shevchenko National University of Kyiv. Currently, she is studying at Seon spall in Paris friends, Lisa participated in 22 scientific and practical conferences of Model United Nations. And she is involved in numerous student clubs and organizations, such as the European Law Students Association, as well as being a delegate at nm you and club have now Kumar, Liza, how are you today?
Yelyzaveta Frolkis 1:33
Hi, it's a pleasure to be part of the podcast. Thank you for inviting me. I'm good in general, like I tried to be,
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 1:44
thank you. And before we dive deeper into more emotional topics, I want to start with something that I notice about you. And it's worth discussing, that I feel and maybe I'm wrong, that you're a very sensual human being that you enjoy feeling femininity, the energy of being a woman, and that is something important for you. Is this correct?
Yelyzaveta Frolkis 2:14
Actually, I think I I'm a mix of both because I am also having this masculine energy in a way because to be in order to be a leader in order to be a like, be strong person, and have a strong personality, I do have a woman has to have this mix of both. But still I am enjoying being a woman and I think like from inside I am worth I am horrible woman then, like, spread like feminine energy in general. But to have this kind of strength and like resistance, you do have to have the masculine wipes sometimes.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 3:05
That's a great answer. So do you as Lisa, how would you explain explain the feminine energy and the masculine energy? How would you describe that? Is it something that you feel in a different way? Does it lead to different behaviors? If there were like someone who wants to understand that experience from your side? How would you describe it?
Yelyzaveta Frolkis 3:37
I don't want to be gender biased because it may offend somebody but personally when I feel myself in a more feminine way, I feel myself like really light and outgoing and like super spontaneous kind of girl. And when I'm feeling in the more masculine way I am feeling strong I'm feeling independent, I'm feeling confident and kind of sure about what I'm doing and you know, like like just a that type of course person who is like a go getter. So for me feels this way. So for me, it's a guy is upset. It's really important to make both of those energies because it's I'm a very ambitious person. You cannot be this kind of typical girl all the time. Yes, the stereotypes suggest because there are times when you have to insist on what you believe in and it takes some courage to do it and not only be like, feminine and like outgoing and stuff because sometimes you cannot achieve some things with that energy. So you have to again, combine both of those.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 4:59
That's great. And on a more personal, less ambitious level, I spoke to some guests, one of the them a girl who said she prefers feminine men, because then she feels strong, powerful and confident, which allows her to let go of any insecurities. While another one she said, have a responsibility to making decisions, which she does, because she's ambitious. But it's too exhausting. So she wants to feel a strong man protected by him, where she can let go of old responsibilities and relax. Which one is more of your vibe or the way that you prefer? When it comes to let's say, relationships or interactions with men or women to not be gender bias? That's your side? What is your nature?
Yelyzaveta Frolkis 5:56
The second type, definitely, because I am raised in more conservative families. So I'm kind of used to a man being like stronger than a woman. So it doesn't mean that I think that women can be strong, actually the opposite, because I've seen too many examples of a go getter woman. And I can also relate to this category. But for me, it is important that sometimes I can lay this responsibility on the men and they can be kind of relaxed when I'm with you. So I understand that he will help me in any way if I need it, and he could take this responsibility. If I'm like, too tired, because they often become too tired of the projects that I do. It's really hard. So when you're like, you're when you're responsible for everything in your life, I think for both men and women, so I think maybe, I'm also trying to find a balance and my like, own relationship, I'm trying to, like, support my boyfriend, but when I need that support, and when I need to, for him to take some responsibility for some stuff, I just asked for it. And I just honestly tell when they're the tough periods, and I need him to be stronger. Because, again, I'm an emotional person. And sometimes it can affect my productivity and my professional and personal life and relationships. So yeah,
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 7:35
that's a wonderful answer. And to understand your even deeper, and more specifically, you said, you like to feel your boyfriend or demand stronger. There are many ways that someone can be strong, it can be that he is bigger and taller, it can be that his personality is very interesting and unique. It can be someone who's very smart and wise and experience or any other way, what is to you the most attractive strength when it comes to masculine man,
Yelyzaveta Frolkis 8:12
I think it's a great deal of whiteness and the experience. Because as for me, I often feel like I'm an old soul, because kind of like it happens that in some even unfamiliar and unknown situations, I am intuitively like, I know what to do, I know how to make the next steps. So it's really important for me that the person is not like childish and immature, and we can be on the same level. And even if there are some unfamiliar situation, we just can sit, analyze it and understand what our next steps can be. So for me is, I think the, like the overall maturity of a person, which is important because I'm very serious when it comes to relationship. And I'm not about what I want, it's 10s and stuff, I want to understand where the relationship is going, how we build our life together, how, like, if we plan anything in the learning tutorial, if we have any plans for the life together, I know they may not be fulfilled sometimes because life is unpredictable. And for example, this word showed that, like all your life can be just destroyed. And one day one second, and you like it's the moment when you can't plan anything, but still, I want to have this certainty in their relationship and they want to know that a boy or a man is serious about me and about the relationships. So he sees me as a wife as a mother of his children like whatever. Yeah,
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 9:55
thank you. And therefore since you're an old soul Have you ever had the experience of instant chemistry with a man where from the very first second you felt, you've known him all your life? It was exciting? Or have you always had the experience of needing time and multiple ways of experiencing his personality, his thoughts, his behavior, before you truly felt attracted?
Yelyzaveta Frolkis 10:26
It really depends. Because when there's kind of like, my person, it doesn't mean like, it's not only related to relate to the romantic relationship, I mean, that also like my friendship with men and women, it's, it's really hard for me to find, like, my, exactly, my personally, when it happens is just like, 100% match. And usually, I feel like from the first, kind of, from the first meeting, I guess, I feel if there's, if we are going to have like, a deep and profound connection or, or if it's going to be like just superficial friendship and like, high goodbye, this kind of relationship. I mean, I like usually I feel it on the very start. So this helps me to not, you know, just not waste too many, like too much time on people who are probably not the same as I am or not the same interests who generally like we're not the good fit. So probably, we could just like, talk sometimes. But that's maximum.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 11:48
Thank you. That's so interesting. And in your life, did you notice that maybe sometimes you met your person, or you felt attracted to a man that other people said he's not good looking, but to you the personality, the interests, everything was so much more attractive, that you didn't care. Or for you, there is some type or of man or look, or something that is important for you to have, in addition to the personality and the soul, that creates for your default package. And it's something that you don't deviate from?
Yelyzaveta Frolkis 12:29
I mean, I do have, like, a type because I like this certain kind of appearance of a men. And I'm sorry for boys. Yeah. So and as well, I have that sort of features and, like character traits that I'm kind of looking for in a person, but I'm like, it's never a filter, because it doesn't happen, like oh, like, this man hasn't got this or this or that. And so we cannot be together, in general is just like a general direction for search. Yeah, if we can see so, and then you just you look at a person because every person is really different and individual, and you can just, you know, put the same standards on everybody because he could not be like, to, like, decisive and to like, like, masculine in the more more stereotyped way, but he can be gentle and really tender and a same time and it kind of mixes some negative probably traits for you. Yeah. Because it's important for me to determine is kind of resilient and decisive because again, I want to feel myself like, yeah, like, with this man, because it's important that the man is kind of experienced and knows what he's doing. But again, I've met people and I've had relationships with people who were not so decisive, but again, they had like numerous other positive traits. And, you know, like, it's just like, I was just watching this video once. That's every good trait is balanced by negative traits. So if you're, if you want, like, your task is to just identify what you're going to keep up with, like, what is okay for you and what is not okay for you? And like, if a person had some has some red flags that actually prevent you from being together then okay, yeah, you can say no, but if He is not the same as you fixtures. It's not always, it doesn't always mean that you're not going to be a good fit or you can be together and stuff. So it really, it really means to understand that everything is balanced in the character. And we're not totally good. And you're not totally bad. We have some bad trades and good trades. And you always have to understand what you can, like what is okay for you, and the trades is things that you can stand. So,
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 15:35
thank you. That's a wonderful, wonderful answer that comes from a lot of thought. And I would like to ask about touch, because I noticed was some of the guests I interviewed, some will say, Yes, touch is very important to me. It lets me feel the person understand if they are my person, while others say I did not grow up in a family where there was hugging and kissing, touches, too intimate, too intense for me. And I need a long, long time before I'm comfortable with a man's touch. Which one are you? What do you think about this?
Yelyzaveta Frolkis 16:15
No, I'm definitely a person who loves to be kind of physical, from the first from the, from the first time because if I like the person, like the boy or a man, so I will be trying to like touch him and be like, like, interact with him. Why? Because it is really important for me. And it is the reason why for me, like distance relationships, when you live in other countries or other cities, it would be really tough because I do need a person to be around. Because when your boyfriend is away for a long period of time, it's for me, it's really tough because you're kind of getting used to it. And when when you meet together again, during the first days, that's like a strange feeling like you're getting to know each other again, from the first time in. Yeah, so you just, I don't know, you lose this ties and connections. So for me to be really difficult to maintain this, this relationship for a long period of time, but like for example, sometimes if for example, now it is something that we can change. So I'm my boyfriend is far away from me. So but they are the reasons for obvious reasons. So
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 17:45
I understand and I hope those reasons will end in a positive way very soon. You mentioned boy and men, when it comes to you, do you appreciate because you spoke about the experience, how important it is for you, and seriousness and all that. So do you prefer someone who's more mature and older than you? As well as, uh, do you experience people's souls more than their bodies? I know, it sounds weird, but like you feel, wow, this person is an old soul or these two people, they're so different because their personalities, their souls are different. And therefore, every person is unique to you. And you cannot generalize any rules for attraction except your principles, like you said, and values
Yelyzaveta Frolkis 18:37
is really interesting because I think in a relationship, it's really it takes some time. So you could fell in love and you could fall in love with a soul and not a person. I know. It's hard, like it sounds really hard but like first of all, you're kind of falling in love with a person. Like with because of their key because of their character. I had the experience when I fell in love first of all, because because of the attitude towards me because this person was so gentle and kind of caring about me. So I was really attracted to him because of that. And only after that I started discovering kind of his personality and I started to love the person but for me, I've been in a relationship like My last relationship is already like two and a half years. And for me I do think that it takes time for you to dive into another person's soul and fell in fell in love in the soul and not a person Yeah, so I do like in general I do feel like the person's soul really love to like this Cover a presser is some times my look like a like an interview because I do ask like many questions because I'm kind of interested about the daily and like regular stuff about people from the first log, because I'm interested about how people think. How, like how people see the world how people see the problems, because I'm, like, I'm often concerned about myself that I, I'm too concerned about everything. And I'm too pessimistic and concentrated into problems. So I try to interact with other people more in order to understand that there's other ways of living and of seeing the world. And it can actually make everything easier because I tend to exaggerate my problems a lot. And like, Oh, my God, it's so bad. And then I understand that for lots of people, it's okay. Yeah, so the ones that I think are the end of the world, and in terms of the age, I do think that I prefer the difference in the age. So I like when boys a little bit older than me, like only a little bit, like in general, from one to I guess, three, four years at this period of time. When you get older when you're like 20 Plus, I guess that's more okay to have a bigger age difference. So like 10 plus years, for me, it's okay. But like when you're still children, or teenagers, because like, officially, I'm 18, I'm a teenager still. So it's like you do have this difference in the growth if you have this large age difference, like 10 plus years, but after 2025, I guess, like I know, lots of people whose age differences more than 10 years, and there are wonderful relationships, and they don't experience the problems. Like the couples are the same age or almost the same age. So
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 22:10
thank you, you're really an old soul. And you mentioned a lot that when you're dating, or in a relationship, or in the beginning, you keep on thinking, is this guy serious about me? Where is this going? And all that. But does this mean you're not attracted to the stereotype of the risk taking bad boy, and all that, or you feel that attraction viscerally and naturally, but you control it with your brain? Or how does that work for you?
Yelyzaveta Frolkis 22:43
I never control like the attraction because I'll just, it happens effortlessly. Without me knowing just I start to like some person, I can do anything about it, even if I rationally might think oh, like this person. Like, it's not my type. And we're like, we have completely different characters, and we can make it together. Like I still, I will still like this person's, like, I don't I don't if we answer it at all. And I guess nobody actually influences it because love is kind of like not not logical sometimes. And in terms of the like, crease taking boys, no, I'm not. I'm not about like, I'm not about bad boys in some because I know lots of girls are obsessed with those boys, but I've never liked them, I don't really find them attractive at all is just like, I don't know, it's just the probably great picture. But inside, you don't really find any kind of Syria, like serious attitude to the world because I do like, people who are kind of, we're kind of aware of where their life is going. I know, again, you can find anything and for me, I don't really like I can't answer this question of where I work in 10 years because, you know, the world is not stable and my interest my interests are not stable and my personality is evolving. So I'm not even like I don't I'm not even sure about for this given to be in one year where I'm going to be you what are what will be my sports and stuff. But anyway, I do I am attracted to people who are kind of ambitious and who's who are really active and whose day is planned. So those people who are kind of again aware of where are they going? At least like some part of it, so they in general Do they know the direction when they following?
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 25:03
Thank you? And how would the man know that you're like him before, you know, the dating and everything? Because I don't know. But there is like a pandemic of bitchface. You can say in Ukraine, especially like some girls, actually, if they like a guy, they become even more harsh and cold near him because they're nervous. So what do you do? Do you have a like a smiling face for you set touches important? Do you initiate touch? Or how would like any guy or in your experience previously, men who you have liked? How would they know that you're not just being friendly or anything like that,
Yelyzaveta Frolkis 25:47
I think it will be hard to understand that I like a guy just because, you know, when I like someone, I generally freeze, like I'm too afraid of, you know, like, initiating the concepts. And when we are already kind of talking, I can get a little bit shy. And it's really hard for me to lie. So you're probably seen by my face. But on the first stages, I'm not going to initiate the contact, because I really love people who are kind of confidence. So I do love when a man in his shoes the first contact with he's like, the one who gets the relationship going and evolving. So personally, I would probably take up this kind of a passive role. But in reality, I've had those situations when I've had to be kind of that decisive person in the relationship because otherwise it's wouldn't have, it wouldn't have evolved. So I had this those moments, but afterwards, I was just trying to, again, find the balance, because I showed the masculine energy and the first steps on the first stages of the relationship. And now I want for a man to take up some responsibility and be a little more initiative. So I can become more passive in order to stimulate demand to like, also, show me the interest because if I'm going to be the only one who's interested in the relationship, I don't see the sense in those relationship because the relationship is the work of two people. Not only were
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 27:44
Thank you, that was enlightening, you shared your truth in a very eloquent way. And we cannot and this without speaking about the war, tell me everything you have in mind about it. How did it feel? How does it feel? What do you think about it? What do you think will happen? All the emotions and how did it change you as a person?
Yelyzaveta Frolkis 28:13
I guess it really influenced my mental state and because now I'm tending to be less energetic than I was. So before where I was super active, I was like combining millions of projects and there was a completely okay with that. So, I mean, I felt burnt out sometimes, but I did have lots of energy times and I was super motivated, and I could plan my life ahead and I kind of like I was able to set goals and now when you are constantly worrying about your parents about your close ones, when you're constantly worrying about yourself, when you don't know what's going to be tomorrow literally, it's not. It's not like like actually it means what it means so I don't know what is going to be tomorrow. Everything is evolving too fast and I can't plan basically anything so gives me lots of anxiety and I'm usually I'm super demotivated because of that. But still, like try to force myself because I have no other choice. Doing something is always better than doing nothing. So I try to work I tried to study I try to learn the French language because I'm kind of again, I'm going to forced to because I'm going to be here for a couple of months at least and I will need to operate and French at least on a basic way. So again, I try to focus on that. But you know, you can feel happy, totally happy because you're again you're constantly worrying about your relative because lots of my A lot of my close and near people, they stay in Ukraine and I cannot just like forget about it and live my life. And I'm also I'm reading the news and I do feel the pain about everybody votes people about children about the elderly people, about the dogs, the cats, everybody literally who's been affected by this war. And, yeah, so I think the toughest part is that you can really plan what's going to be tomorrow. And you even you don't even know, if you will ever come back, you will be able and if it's going to be a place for you to come back. And it's really scary to think about that. So I is a person who is always kind of playing my life ahead for one year. Now, a lot of people, especially my parents, and my boyfriend and their friends, they advised me not to plan this kind of ahead. So they say, Just live today and think about today only. And don't think about what's what's going to be next because nobody knows. And what's even more painful for me. I do think sometimes that the world is not doing enough. And because, yeah, they're kind of, they're helping financially, they're sending their humanitarian aid there. So I'm sorry, one second. They're kind of, again, they're sending the ammunition and weapons and stuff, but they don't want to face Russia directly. So they're kind of they stay out of the situation. And I really try to use my social media for informing about the war, because I do have lots of international subscribers and I try to translate everything, every single post in English, I try to post the photos even like, they're horrible. They're terrifying. But I post these photos, because it's the only way people could think about this for at least 30 seconds a day. Because when you're far away when you're a foreigner. Ukraine is somewhere you know, like somewhere far you don't really think about it. You don't really, you can't really imagine this happening to your country, not nobody within
with a brain cannot imagine this happening in 21st century to his country, to the people. But yeah, so when I hear lots of foreigners, like somebody is actually like, actually understands the situation. Somebody just Oh, like, it's horrible. I know. And you're just sitting and, like, horrible is not there's not a word to describe it. Like the only thing to the only way to feel it is to be in this situation. So in general, I think is everybody. I'm really afraid I'm really depressed. And I don't really feel bad about not only the people who died, but the people like imagine. Las Vegas of millions of people and Ukrainians were displaced. They lost their homes, their jobs, their lives. And this horrible all those people, they had plans, they had their lives, and now they're just refugees, and kind of like, they can plan their life. That's a humanitarian crisis. And nobody's thinking about it in this way. Because we like Ukrainians are intelligent people were really talented people were really ambitious people, really hard working people. And all of those people just lost everything because of some. I don't want to like, you know, he was bad for us, even though I really would want to because I don't have other words the worst? Because like, I mean, yeah, so I'm going to stay like in keep my speech scissors. Like, because of
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 34:22
this are rated and awake, as we said already, things like bitchface and things like that. So you can say anything you want express your emotions as well as Yes, one small thing. What do you think about those all displaced refugees? If this state continues longer, and they find new lives, new jobs, new educational opportunities, will they return to rebuild Ukraine, as well as some sociologists say that there will be a trauma within the whole society of Ukraine And when this war ends that maybe will take the whole generation to end, where too many people will have PTSD and the society will become more negative, or you don't agree with this share everything.
Yelyzaveta Frolkis 35:15
I do agree about the trauma, because I'm feeling it myself. And I don't think that it will, you know, and like, my depression will end with the war, I will still feel the pain for every loss for every person for every creature of Ukraine. Because when I even see what this people are doing, to even the dogs, I was like, I'm just, I'm so shocked. Because like, I just don't understand, like, what did the dogs do? I view they're just animals, they're innocent animals, and why do you kill and eat them into like, the horrible stuff to them, I just, I don't I can understand this. I can under understand how civilized nation can, like support this, because like, for me, it's just like, I don't understand, I would never support it with, you know, having internet and being able to just go into the internet and read the news and see the photos like cat how, like, you're not like, you don't need to be politically like lighter in order to understand what's happening and to the massacre that Russia has brought to our country. So you don't have to be you don't have to even like have education, basically, to understand what's going on. And those people who say that, Oh, we, we just we don't know what's going on. Like, we are not aware and we were not skilling. So just leave us alone. We want to leave our comfortable ice I I just can't understand this position. Because basically, the Russia's president is the kind of person who will not stop with Ukraine only he will go further. So other countries will be threatened as well. And some countries do understand it. I felt it for example, then I've stayed one night in Poland when getting to France. And I stayed in a family in a Polish family. And I really, I did feel through the conversation with them that they do understand. And some of my people, some of my friends are in Lithuania now. And as well, if any, and people do understand what's going on, and they support Ukrainians in old ways, because they feel this danger in some countries that are located further they just don't feel this danger from Russia maybe in this way. They don't really care about what's going on. I mean, before this for lots of people didn't even know where Ukraine is located. So I've watched lots of videos where they've put the finger on the African continent to search for Ukraine. So yeah, so now probably things will change but I I just the only thing I hope for is that everything will enter new as fast as possible way because people can't suffer for this one will like what's happening in Mario pool that's, that's that's not a genocide anymore. That's just that's just how what they're going through 350,000 People just like not having access to even food and water. And I'm not saying like the normal facilities of life and style of stuff. I'm not even talking about that. So for me, we should do everything to end this as fast as possible, because otherwise is going to be the next Holocaust is going to be the next. We're Second World War, but the only two participants will be Ukraine and Russia and Belarus as well as this is the third party. So for me, like the the most painful part is how is the way people struggle and about three returning home? I mean, it does. It does depend because when you're kind of when you're immigrating because of your own well, that feels in another way because I do I did like I did want to go to France. I didn't want to explore this country. And you know, I was just really curious about, like visiting this country. Hubert I've never
known that it will be this way. And it feels another way come like completely I know, all of my friends who are abroad, they may be happy for some seconds throughout the day. But still, this was not their will to go abroad. And when you're going on your will, you're basically you can always return home because like, if you don't like something, you can just return or go to another country. If you're not feeling comfortable if you're we don't have the choice. So I really think that lots of people will return that's maybe somebody Young, who would find the education there, they will stay. But actually I do have some friends who studied in, in other countries and foreign countries, they started their degrees before the war. And so one of my friends who was who studied in the Netherlands, he made a story of to the war started. And he said before, I thought, I'm going to be needed in Europe, and I'm going to work in Europe, and my whole life is going to be Europe, and they kind of see I kind of saw more opportunities in Europe than in Ukraine, like Ukrainian Europe as well. But I mean, like the European Union, I thought you think you understand? Yes, so Ukraine is Europe as well, and hopefully will be in European Union soon as well. But after the war started, he said this, I understood that I like my country needs me. And after getting the education abroad abroad, I need to come to Ukraine. And I do think there's a logic here because kind of like, lots of people are going to countries like United States and Canada and Great Britain, those countries are already there really kind of developed, and they have lots of stuff. And the competition is really high. And there's like too many people for the same positions for the same fields. So it's really hard to, you know, establish your life here. As a foreigner, it will take a long time in in Ukraine, there's such a room is such a space for innovation, for new projects, for new markets for new businesses, and I just can't understand why people can go to Ukraine because it's there looks like so many opportunities to realize yourself and to be reaching to travel the whole world and to just be a like a great person in your country and dedicated to the development. So I don't think especially after the war ends, there's going to be lots of stuff to rethink, for example, the architecture, so many workplaces, for people who work in this field, because we will reveal or we will even need like designers and artists, actors to like, think about the new ways that we can rebuild our cities, because there's going to be like so much room for innovation in this sense, as well for making the cities more comfortable and more modern, because we did have like some older areas, and they need to be revealed. So again, it will be a great opportunity to do that. It will be a great opportunity to think our culture to evolve our music or own movies. Everything that is related to culture to this then to this is from Russia as far as possible. So like so many more opportunities, literally. So people who will understand this, I think they will just come because of that as well because they love the country and they feel comfortable here because I like being in France. It's an interesting experience, I will say but still, it's not my culture. It's not the same as in Ukraine. It's like so many cultural differences that I'm just not used to. And like I may get used to buts first of all, it will take long periods of time and second of all, is just like it will be a little bit forcing myself and kind of like changing my mind like my Ukrainian mentality, which is I don't know if it's right. My first right thing to do because I like my mentality and like
the cultural overview that I have From Ukraine and I don't really want to change in because I don't think that Ukrainians are really educated and talented people. And I want to consider myself and define myself as Ukrainian as well.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 45:13
Thank you, Liza. Actually, you shared so many interesting thoughts. I really agree that you're an old soul that you know how to be introspective and wise. And all I can say is Slava Ukrainy. And I wish you peace. I wish you prosperity. Yes. And I wish you the victory and good news very soon. Thank you. It was an honor. Thank you.
