E016 Olga Melnik

Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 0:08 Femininity is powerful in all its forms, exceptional women. Rare girls must be appreciated in every way for their perspectives, actions, thoughts, and their unique ways of being such rare girls are inspiring. And this is what this podcast is all about. Hello, my name is Aziz and my guest today is Olga Melnik, a free and open minded girl from Ukraine studying at the Faculty of international communications at the University of Taras Shevchenko Hello, Olga, how are you today? Olga Melnik 0:53 Hello, I'm great and you? Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 0:55 I'm feeling positive and very curious about you. And you want to know, what does it mean to be a free girl? Olga Melnik 1:05 Thank you for asking. So to start with, I want to say that free is for me like a steadiness free soul. So to be free, it means for me to think in a way you want to do in a way you want. And of course, if it's not illegal, and if you want to do this, then you will do it. And no one should stop you for doing that. So that's exactly, for me what means to be free. So Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 1:33 I love that. And usually people who have a free soul, either they always had people encouraging them to be free and to be like that, or everybody was telling them what to do. And they were a rebel, who refused? Which type is your situation? Olga Melnik 1:54 You know, it's hard for me to mention when because I guess only if your months ago, yeah, I started to feel myself free. Because before it my circle, my close circle was not exactly what I want to be. And the people who surrounded me, they tried to make me not free to send me in a different way. And I started to lose myself, you know. But after a couple of months, I dumped them, I get rid of this toxic people. And now I really feel myself not free. But you know, this amazing feeling when you do what you want, and you don't care what other people will think about you. Of course, other people will still think about you. But you're like, I'm okay with that. I said that, and I appreciate the your thoughts. But my son, I appreciate more. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 2:48 So he loves that. I really, really love what you're saying. I have so many questions. But let's begin with a more simple one. A lot of people might have toxic people in their lives. And they think Yeah, but I know them. And maybe I will hurt their feelings and blah, blah, blah, what like advice would you have for them so that they can dump those toxic people without feeling guilty or thinking all but maybe those people will change or something like that? Olga Melnik 3:19 You know, it's really hard to figure out which person is toxic around you. Because I know it on my own experience. Yeah, like toxic relationship work. Like it doesn't matter what kind of relationship it is just toxic. And it's really hard to figure out this person because your life became so addicted to this person to hear started to hear actions and sometimes you can really lose yourself around this person. So first of all you need to figure out then you should to know how to explain you should to love yourself, you should appreciate yourself to send yourself every day and to do something which makes you feel better. Take Take, take your seconds, just take your time you know relax and so on. And after it I also recommend to distance from all people which sometimes makes you feel bad and so on. And after you will be distant then you will realize that realize better yourself and what is better for you. So and after you realize it then you should take some actions maybe dump these people or to keep in touch with them. It's your choice. How do you feel about it? Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 4:37 Actually, sometimes it's bravely doing what you want that will either make them go away or accept you for who you are, you know sometimes, although yes, some people are like psychopaths and bipolar and Olga Melnik 4:56 so sometimes I want to add also. Yeah, if you feel feel bad about yourself. If you're I know feel depressed or something like this, the problem is not always about you. Maybe it's just should the person around you. So you should be really very attentive and to look around who is in your close circle. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 5:16 I agree 1,000%. And what kind of people are you interested in having in your circle nowadays? Olga Melnik 5:28 I really like people who are emotional, who don't scary to show their real emotions for the world. Maybe some kind of sensitive people, of course, I like not happy, but just, I know, more optimistic people. Because nowadays, it's really important to try your best to be positive, stay positive, whatever it is, because you know, if you will be depressed and so on, then I guess it's not a good choice, especially nowadays. So positive people, I guess, first of all people who can choke, because it's really amazing skill. So I see that's the least. But uh, first of all, I need to speak with that person to communicate with him or she and then I understand, is it in my personal or it's not? Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 6:24 Yes, it's something you can feel in your soul. And you said, in the last two months, you've been expressing your true self, more and more? How would you describe that? Like, what kinds of things that most people go are normal, or like another guest said vanilla? would not accept and will not like that to you, give you that fulfillment and freedom that you want? Olga Melnik 6:52 Alex, you mean to describe people around me? Where were Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 6:57 you? Now that, you know, in the last two months, you said, you're more free to do what you want no matter what people think? What kinds of things do you like to do that give you that freedom, and that you don't care if people like it or not? Olga Melnik 7:15 I think it's more not about crazy, some actions like to jump where you want or to sink in some public places and not giving a crab who is who is looking at you and so on it just more about my inner feeling because it's even connected to my family. Because like maybe a couple of months ago, I always was trying my best like to please everyone to give some actions. So after which they will be proud of me and so on. But now I'm just I want to live my life. If you're not satisfied with what I'm doing, I'm okay with that. It's, it's my choice. So you want you like it or not, you should appreciate it if you want to help with me, a good connection, and so on. So I think it's probably about my family and like about my again, close circle, my son fellows, the plants, and so on, because that's, yeah, now, I can sing freely, I can do something freely and not to be like, punished by it from my parents thoughts, I guess, in this way? Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 8:28 Very, very good. So you're getting to your independence and maturity and adulthood? And yeah. Since this podcast is about women and femininity to you, what makes you feel the most feminine? And what is femininity to you? Is it a specific energy you can talk about? Is it something that you do that gives you that feeling? Is it some behavior, some attitude? How would you describe it? And what things do you do that give you that good feeling of fully being feminine? Olga Melnik 9:06 Yeah, thank you for this question. First of all, I think that, for me, being a feminine woman, is mean, I don't hide this. I can speak about this topic freely, because some women some girls, which around me when we are talking about this kind of topic there or I'm not into this, like it doesn't connect me and so on. And I'm really upset because you're, you're female, how can it not touch you like touch you like really? And I can freely speak about this boys with older people who are not into this mode, this actions and I tried to protect women rights. And even my coursework is about Taliban women. And now suffer really a lot because of their new government. And it's really a pity for me because I really want everyone to be equal on this on the earth. Because everyone has the same rights we are, of course, we are not equal, like in our personality types in our talents, and so on. But we are humans, and we have the same, right. So, for me, it doesn't matter if you're a girl, or you're a boy, you're just a person. And also what I wanted to add that I don't really remember. So I guess that's what I wanted to say. But yeah, I tried to explain some people who don't are involved into this topic. What does it mean to be a free girl, a free woman, and why you should appreciate it? If this person is not stupid, so I tried to explain him or show why it is important nowadays. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 10:59 Thank you. Yes, it's a very important topic. To discover even more about you. You are a beautiful woman. Do you feel that too many people just see the exterior and you wish for them to like you for something more or inside that is specific, or you feel that that the way you look and everything is already unique? And therefore, if it's only appreciated, it's a good thing. And you don't think it's like superficial or anything? What are your perspectives on this? As well as the stereotype that if a girl is beautiful, she's stupid or something like that? I heard some people say it. So what are your thoughts? Olga Melnik 11:48 So first of all, I don't say that I'm beautiful, or sounds like this. I think I'm just normal as the other people are, I just wash my hair, wash my body and so on. I tried to to look nice about you know, I think it's more about personality, because appearance, it's not Arison. Yeah, it's a pleasure and bonus, and so on. But if the person is stupid, or if the person I'd know since incorrectly, or doing some weird actions, the other person will notice that. And I guess, if he or she thinks that you are crazy, will not support your conversation, or try to be your friend, and so on. So I guess, appearance, it's not our sin. And first of all, you should fill your mind with the coal salts. And yeah, to be full of some positive energy, and not only positive, but with interesting energy. So that's the case. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 12:56 Thank you. And I love that you mentioned energy. And since this podcast is about, like I said, rare girls, let's check your perspective on men as well. What is the energy of a man that is attractive to you? Like one of the guests I asked her, she said, it's a man who is strong and she feels protected. While another one she said no, I like feminine men so that they feel more confident and that I take care of them like a mother. And she likes them to be girly men, things like so tell me for you. What attracts you? In a man like what energy? What is it the thing that makes you feel? Really Wow, I'm really attracted to this guy. Olga Melnik 13:41 Now, I'm really amazed by men who are in Ukraine and who do protect our Motherland who helped different people who are in need them this this man are for me just real barriers. And they're superheroes. So yeah, I'm really used of them. But if we're talking about some personality traits, then I guess I really want a man who appreciate what I'm doing who really appreciate me because I don't need this kind of man who is just, I know how to do better and you will listen to me. No, I'm not. I'm also a person. And I also can sink about something I have my own opinion. So if you wouldn't, like I don't know. If you wouldn't appreciate and love it, then I guess so. It'd be, it will be really hard to deal with this person. Until, yeah, I don't want to be behind man. I want to be near man. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 14:47 Thank you. And since you spoke about that you're speaking with other girls about these topics and other such topics. Do you feel your personality is the A friend and your thoughts about these things are different to many of the girls in Ukraine that you were spending time with before or even now outside in other parts of Europe, or is it common and something that is growing more and more in the younger generations? Olga Melnik 15:23 For my surprise, it's really very common like what I have mentioned already among girls my age, because I don't only if you want, who are not to criticize me and who like I want, I know, real, where your man who will protect me from everyone and I'm like, from who? Who is going to attack on you. So I don't know it just so strange. Yeah, so first of all, I want to find my real soulmate. And a lot of goals agree with me because I think we are in your generation, we want not only to be protected, and not only to have near us, a man who is just a you know, go to work, earn some money and watching TV in the evening, we want something more we want, like we can, because we can do it also, we can also go to work, we can also earn money, we can also I know like to be with us, in general, like we can support ourselves by our own. So that's it. And surprisingly, really, all my friends goes they support me and I'm really happy because of that. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 16:41 Thank you and it's so interesting that you mentioned soulmate I'm really curious about you whether you have the experience of meeting a man or a guy and from the very first second you felt chemistry and that you know this person all your life and it was natural and flowing. Or do you always need time to understand the thoughts and behavior of the guy before you like him? And do you understand he could be a soul mate or not? Olga Melnik 17:15 Yeah, like I always try to give the person another chance if the first meeting the first chemistry wasn't found it so that's it, but sometimes I'm really very excited when I met someone and this person is 100% it has the same energy as I have. So it's like really amazing because even if we have some language barriers like yeah, like language, or if we have another some barriers, but we can freely speak about our sin we find this we find this connection this I know magical chemistry. It's really very funny. But sometimes of course I can't find this magician magic but then I try maybe to give this person a second chance to open horror from other sides. And if it doesn't work then I'm just okay maybe we are different persons and we can find something in common. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 18:22 Thank you. And a lot of the girls from Ukraine they say that their love language is not touch at all because it's too intimate. Too intense and their families they didn't have hugs and cases so even if they like a guy or they're like dating or anything if he touches them it's absolutely uncomfortable like I'm not saying in a weird way but even normal like intimate way and if you say of course that for me is I how I feel the emotion stronger the energy more intense. What is your experience with this How are you in when it comes to touch Olga Melnik 19:05 you know I this case I really like European mentality because they appreciate comfort zone and your private don't they don't attach you if you know this person only for five seconds. Like I think that in Ukraine or in other so many countries. So first of all I need to find connection with the person was the help of communication and after it if this person is pretty close to my mind to my thoughts I can touch your or she or he can touch me because in other way I will not feel confident and in my in my sport title in my place. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 19:51 You mentioned connection twice. What does it mean for you connection with a guy is it you have same views on everything and maybe? Or is it just that magical chemistry, even if your views are not totally the same? What is the meaning of that connection for you? Olga Melnik 20:11 Connection, it's fun, you feel yourself so free when you feel free and when you're not ashamed to share some thoughts with this person, and this person can truly understand you. So it's like, you feel yourself confident, you feel yourself free. You are okay. Comfort. That's enough for connection, you know, at first, just to view yourself. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 20:40 Yes. And I want to understand because you're speaking a lot about the inner workings of the person, the inner parts. So, for example, are all the men who you have felt that connection with other people will say, while he's so handsome and everything, or did you find yourself magically attracted, and with chemistry and connection with some guys, who others will think he's not so good looking, but to you? You're like, it doesn't matter? Because I feel the feeling? Or how is it for you? Olga Melnik 21:14 Yeah, as I said before, appearance for me is just a cool bonus if I think everybody has their type. But in fact, we will no date with our type we will date with someone who makes us who make makes us love, makes us feel comfortable, and so on. So I think appearance, it doesn't really matter if you know the person deeply. So yeah, I guess for me, it's more important to find this comfort sport, this common views on some situation or the world in general, some similar jokes, maybe. And after eating, I will understand that isn't my person or Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 22:06 Thank you, I now will change a little bit the subject because this is also important to ask. Yeah, how did the war change you as a person? Did it make you actually realize that life is unpredictable and short? And so you become even more free? Independent doing what you want? Or does it make you worry that you don't know what the future will be? And it's a bit more stressful? Or how did it impact you and change Olga, before the war. And now, Olga Melnik 22:39 so far as I realized that you shouldn't get attached to Samsung, Samsung physical or even some people because it all can change in a few seconds. And the person who was really close to you in few minutes can be so distant, no, like, physically, but you understand like, and yeah, of course, dissertation, I think changed everyone who who is connected to, to it? And yeah, so first of all, you shouldn't get attached to Samsung. And the second one, I guess, you should defined and to resolve some solutions really quickly, and do not put it in the I know, in the box. So that's it. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 23:33 Thank you all God, this was a pleasure. And do you have any message or advice or thoughts to share to women all over the world, so that they become more free, similar to you and they can dump all the toxic people bravely? Olga Melnik 23:52 Yeah, first of all, really value yourself, appreciate yourself because you are the only person with whom you will live all your entire life. And really, if you feel bad about something, then look around and maybe it's not the deal in yourself in you. Maybe the deal is just because the wrong people surround you. So yeah, be really attentive, who is your who is in your close circle? Because remember, it's your life and you should live it. How do you want it to be? Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 24:25 I agree you want 100% It's an honor Olga, a privilege, and I wish you a great and wonderful day. Olga Melnik 24:34 Thank you so much. I wish you to