E039 Nelia Bechkalo

Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 0:08 femininity is powerful in all its forms. exceptional women, rare girls must be appreciated in every way for their perspectives, actions, thoughts and their unique ways of being such rare girls are inspiring. And this is what this podcast is all about. Hello, my name is Aziz and my guest today is Nalia Bish Carlo Nydia is a flux alumna of 2015, in dice, art Iowa, in the USA, and currently studying East European Studies. After she graduated with a master's degree in translation, she adores dancing and performing on the stage in general Neerja ism, amazed with different cultures and all the similarities and uniqueness we as humans have Neerja How are you today? Nelia Bechkalo 1:04 Hi, Aziz, it is very nice to join your podcast, rare girls. And I hope everyone who is here will enjoy it as well. And I'm well and hope this time that we will talk will be useful for other people as well. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 1:19 It will be fun, it will be interesting. And I'm very curious about you. So if your friends were to describe your personality, since often, your friends might see you in a deeper way than you even see yourself. How would they describe you? What would they say, you know, Nelia Bechkalo 1:39 recently, I came back from short term harassment, Erasmus exchange program. And it was about healthy mind and a healthy body healthy lifestyle. And one of the activities that we did the beginning and then at the end was like talking to people and describing how you see them, and maybe, you know, writing some notes. And I really liked this activity, because people also tell how, how they see you. And it's Utah and ennemis. So the recent notes that I got is like kind, very nice, very kind hearted person. But the things that I've never heard about me, because we had the activity where we had to look at each other's eyes, and describe what you see in this house. And I really love how they mentioned, I see a carefree child in your eyes. And you are very beautiful. How to say carefree child in your eyes in a human in there already grown up lady buddy. So that was something unique to hear. It was kind of for the first time that I heard this. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 2:47 Thank you, that must have been a wonderful experience for you in general. What inspires you personally, what is the thing are the things that are truly fascinating for you about life, Nelia Bechkalo 3:02 how different we all are, I really love traveling. And I really like the nature, the see, and that inspires me. But I also like people and all of the interaction with people, I'm very extroverted person, and all kinds of interactions, you know, they charge me they give me more energy. And I really like how we are all different and we are all unique, and we have our own habits and interests in on such kind of projects. And during traveling, I can see clearly how diverse how a world and societies in general, Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 3:41 I love that I have so many questions because I really agree with you. I met one time a psychiatrist who used to categorize people as soon as she met them into different categories based on personality types, or whatever. But me who is fascinated by people, I speak to people deeply a lot. I don't find identical people at all. Every person is like, I don't know how to explain it, and I will try to explain it since I'm an empath. When you speak to someone, they're not their body. They're like an ocean of energy connected to something really big. And each one has their own flavor of energy. And it's really cool, especially when you meet people that you feel you resonate with. Like they're your people and it's not about what they say or do is just a feeling. Do you know what I mean? Nelia Bechkalo 4:38 Yes, you just feel the person. Sometimes it's enough just to see the person and not have the conversation. And then if you have the conversation if the feeling is even deeper. Let's see. Yes, Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 4:52 you is it always is it always like that. Not at all. Let's say someone you see them from afar and you feel oh my I got the energy to flow there my person, do you sometimes speak with them? And you're like, oh, no, they're not what I expected them to be Nelia Bechkalo 5:08 kind of sometimes. But I'm now I'm working out on not having like expectations. So I don't get disappointed. I will Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 5:19 tell you in my situation, it depends on the country. And I will say it specifically, some places. Ukraine, for example, and it will sound contradictory to what I will say next. But I don't know why. If you see someone and you have that energetic match, often they open up and they're like, Oh, my God, I feel we know each other for such a long time. Because although there is a stereotype, Ukrainian people are cold at first. But they know when they know someone, they're funny, they're warm, and everything. And there are countries where people don't trust each other, where, for example, there is a stereotype that people in South America are open, but actually, they're always worried they get kidnapped. And so if you don't know them, they will really not open up, and therefore you'll be expecting but end up disappointed, because they will not allow that feeling of familiarity to be Do you know what I mean? Nelia Bechkalo 6:15 Yes, this is the cultural differences that that I was talking about? How can we are all living in the same world, but we have different, you know, such kind of details based on the place where we were raised born. Those cultural differences, but I know what you mean, when I was in America. I also heard the stereotype that Ukrainians and mostly like Eastern Europeans, they don't smile a lot. But I was basically the, the prove that it's not like that, because I'm really very positive, an extra positive post person in general. And I was like, Are you sure you're from Ukraine? Yes. If Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 6:55 so you don't have a bitch face? Nelia Bechkalo 6:58 Well, maybe, I don't know. You should probably ask someone from my circle of friends. And they will tell you for sure. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 7:07 Yeah. And you mentioned the US, but your accent is more British. How come? Nelia Bechkalo 7:12 I'm not sure. Because I've been to the US longer. I've never been to the UK. But I have worked with the British a lot as part of my translation experience, and it was both written translation, and oral translation. So I guess my accent is more connected to the oral translation. But I don't know, maybe it's just fluid, fluid accent, you know. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 7:43 And I will tell you something about me, and I don't know how it is about you. I noticed there are people including myself who are totally different to whatever culture they're in, maybe a bit of a rebel or whatever it is, where I notice, especially I don't know how it is for you again. But for me, it's those people that energetically interest me. And I find that fascinating, who can grow up in a culture but they don't absorb anything, or everything they choose their own way of being. Are you such a person do you feel part of you, for example, your smiles and positivity is abnormal, but in a good way, that you didn't just absorb everything in the culture, but you created your own personality? Or what is your thoughts about this? Hmm, Nelia Bechkalo 8:34 let me think about that a little bit. I agree that my happiness is a bit kind of not typical, like, stereotypical to my region, where I grew up. But still, I think, I think a lot depends on the experiences we get, and in what environment we grow. And, to my personal opinion, the person should be very powerful insight, to create its own world and its own culture within the other culture. So for example, if you want to create another country, culture, within your country culture, it will take an effort from you to do that. Because a lot is faced from the environment and influence from the environment you are in, and it's easy to absorb whatever is closer to you can whatever you want to create, you know what I mean? Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 9:33 I do at the same time, I find that we have our own nature and that it's happier to be more true to that nature and therefore, maybe it's part of evolution or whatever, that every person in reality has their own universe, their own culture, their own piece of the puzzle, and when you put them all together, they allow for the next evolution of their culture. In all cases, this is really interesting. And let's get back to you again, you're meeting a lot of people, you love people in general. To you, what is the most fascinating thing about people? Is it when you're around them, you get their energy? And therefore, you get that electric recharge as an extrovert? Or is it there stories and experiences that teach you about life more than books do? Or what about people? Is it like kindness and feeling love for all of humanity and an open heart or what's going on, Nelia Bechkalo 10:33 I would say it's more about kindness and feeling love to them as the human being in general. But also, I understand my culture, through their culture even more, because we have different cultural experience, we have different experience in general. And through their stores, through their experience, through their sayings, I understand myself and my personal experiences even better. So coming back to my Flex gear, I understood my Ukrainian personality and my Ukrainian culture even more, while being in the US and telling about it, then I was, you know, sitting in the country and just saying, Oh, hello, I'm Ukrainian. Like, you understand more? What is being your nationality? Yeah. Like, for me, it was what is being Ukrainian? When I was in America, or what has been Ukrainian when I made some other changes? Or what does it mean for me to be, I don't know, a girl in some kind of different aspects during other projects, you know, when you have this change, and you understand how, how blessed you are with the things you have in your life, based on this communications and histories of other people. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 11:55 That's interesting. So for example, how would you describe yourself and the Ukrainian girl culture compared to other cultures? What have they thought you were there in the US or the recent Erasmus exchange, a lot Nelia Bechkalo 12:12 differences, you can see in you know, this religion aspects, how the women are portrayed in different cultures based on their religion, in Islam and Christianity. And that's one of the things that you understand like, Okay, this is how it is in my country. And this is not how it is in the other countries. And this may be not good, not bad, but it just different. And you understand how it functions. From my recent exchange, we had a lot of information set about habits, and our health and mental health, including, and a lot of us had some similar experiences, no matter of the nationality and what country we are from, and that what was like curry uniting for us, because we may have similar problems, even though we were living in a different countries in different societies. So that's what I can recall on right now. Talking about this question, Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 13:20 I understand Thank you. That's really, really interesting. And so in the future, what do you want to be more of, as a translator, I understand it's not so much about specifically learning about people and their culture, what would be your dream job or dream occupation that will satisfy that need for you to experience all the new culture, all the new people and everything Nelia Bechkalo 13:48 A diplomat, maybe this profession is more about interacting with different cultures, but also translator, I will kind of protect this profession, in some people's eyes, because I do have a lot of communication with different cultures, it just more on personal level, not that I'm helping to create something for the culture or for some different people. But I'm interacting with different people in different cultures, because while translating, I still have to know this person, I still have to understand their accent, I still have to understand their speaking habits, and that also some kind of cultural learning for me. But if coming back to like, Dream Dream, then I would say like diplomatic, some kind of interaction. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 14:43 That's great. And how does dancing satisfy these needs that you have for learning the uniqueness and idiosyncrasies of different people? Nelia Bechkalo 14:55 When I was at my last Erasmus Plus program, I just came back, I was doing the master class. So for those who want to dance, and usually, those people are not professional dancers, some may have some dance education background. Some know, for someone, it was like the first time coming to the whole and dancing. But what I see is that when people dance, they forget about everything around and they enjoy what they do. So they are just, you know, feeling the moment. And they like this moment, and they like themselves in this moment. So that was like, very important thing for me. I tried to do my best like class, a dance class very interactive and found when where people can feel themselves very freely, to dance in front of others. But also, I see how they like it. And as soon as they catch the music, as soon as they catch, like the main moves, they are, they're there, boom. And here it is, they enjoy dancing, even if they are not professionals. And this is what is important for me, for them to enjoy the process. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 16:13 I noticed again, it's a very kind thing and love for humanity, the perspective that you have, and you're speaking about this new experience and the sense of flow, and almost trends of being in dance where you forget all your troubles, all your stress. Why do you love humanity? I know sounds weird. But I want to understand you. What is that energy of love coming from? Is it more about spirituality? Is it metaphysical? Is it just feeling better? Like, what is that energy of love? Why do you love human beings and tell me more about everything? Nelia Bechkalo 16:56 I would say it is more about spirituality. Like I believe in God. And I love everything that God created, including human beings is the main part of our world. And I would say just the interaction that needs to be between human like, it's not healthy. For our mind to kind of, you know, rubbish, your feelings and your mind was some hate or was some um, love. It's easier to love than hate. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 17:30 I agree with you and speaking about hate. How was February 24. For you? How did you hear about the war? Were you shocked? How was that story and that experience? Nelia Bechkalo 17:43 Shocking. I was in Poland at that time. i That night, I had really, really bad night, like I didn't sleep well. And I woke up exactly when Russia started bumping cave. And it was like one hour difference for me and Ukraine. But still, like, I woke up exactly at this time. And I open my phone, check the news. And I saw the news. And I started texting my parents and friends, whoever there and saying if it's true, if it is like it is. And unfortunately it was true. It was very hard for me emotionally and kind of like psychologically because I was like the first day. I was always crying. The next week also was kind of deep, deeper and lower emotionally. But again, as I said FES helped me a lot and support and also volunteering. Because I gave my energy like I understood that I need to give something but I am not in Ukraine. So I was volunteering a lot here. In Poland. I was translating and helping Ukrainians, refugees or refugees because they are in different country who are travelling through Poland, and either staying in Poland or going to other countries, and I was helping translating for them, as many of them didn't even know some basic English. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 19:18 Thank you. And when you spoke about faith, do you mean specifically your religion or in general like a spiritual faith, Nelia Bechkalo 19:27 religion, religion, I'm Christian, Orthodox Christian, and kinda like personal relationship with God, you know, personal communication helped me and my emotional psychological state to be on a stable level. Also, here in Warsaw, we had some volunteers coming to help that kind of like psychological help, and they were teaching it through the religion app. broach, like, how is it possible to kind of forgive, you know, forgive in the quotation marks, but kind of let it go. And it also helped because there were a lot of crying, frankly speaking, that it was one of the emotional periods of this work past five, six months. But it also helped me to understand more and helped me to kind of let it go. The things that are not dependent on me. I'm not saying that I'm fully recovered, because it's still war. And I will be fully recovered only after we win. And I sure we will. But I'm in the process. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 20:46 Thank you. So do you do feel that kindness to people, or be in a volunteer helping them? is a kind of service to God? Or how is it because I want to understand this as well as do you feel nowadays, a lot of people are not attracted to religion, or within your friends, or where you grew up in Ukraine, etc. It was always there. And there were no like people who are not religious. Nelia Bechkalo 21:19 But I noticed since the beginning of war, that a lot of people who were either not religious or believed in something, but not God, you know, I believe in the power of the universe. They started to pray. And like if people are praying, that means they're praying to someone, if they're praying to someone, they pray to God, if they're Christian, yeah, if they're believing in different gods, they pray to different gods, but also that influenced their religious statistics. You know, like, who believes and who don't? It also depends who stays if it's, you know, just one time thing, because of the war, or it, if it really drags them to God, or to believe something or to any religion, then that's good, I guess. And you were asking about kindness. I would say it's kind of a service, but it's also part of my personality. Like, I was raised like that. And I was kind of, you know, creative like that, that if the person asked for help, you should help. And why not? It's it's nice to do that. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 22:37 I agree. 100%. And since you're dealing with a lot of people, you're volunteering, you're doing all those things. Do you feel if the wars continues more months, that a lot of people will start a new life abroad in other countries and different places? And therefore there was not be easily returning to Ukraine? Or do you feel that they're just missing Ukraine so much that any moment now where they could have the opportunity to have a stable life back home, they will take it, Nelia Bechkalo 23:13 I know, a lot of friends who are reaching Ukraine who are coming back to Ukraine, they stayed a few, you know, this critical moments, months, or two or three, abroad. And they as they see that it's more or less safe, even though there is no safe place in Ukraine, they come back. A lot of them coming back, because it's connected to family. They have like husbands there. And some of the friends are still here, or in other countries, but they are cramping to come back. They really want this. And as soon as it will be possible for them to come back. They will. But for some of them, they are really dependent on supporting their families and they need income. And the only reason why they're staying is because they have job here or some kind of job here. So they can send money to their parents or grandparents who are not able to move out of the country. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 24:17 I understand and really, thank you for your positivity. Thank you for your service. Thank you for this enriching conversation. And all I can say is Slava Ukraini Nelia Bechkalo 24:29 Heroyam Slava. Thank you as always, for inviting me and join your conversation.