E063 Anastasiia Unhurian

Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 0:00 your femininity is powerful in all its forms exceptional women, rare girls must be appreciated in every way for their perspective, actions, thoughts, and their unique ways of being. Such rare girls are inspiring. And this is what this podcast is all about. Hello, my name is Aziz and my guest today is Anastasia on hor Yan. Anastasia is a flux alumna of 2017, from Ukraine, to Indiana, United States, and she is currently living in Armenia. She graduated with a Bachelor degree in English language and literature. And she is keen on reading, cooking, needle felting, and sometimes painting pictures by numbers. She is the eldest sister among four kids in her family, and all of them are brothers. So she had a very interesting life growing up with them, Anastasia, or Anastasia? How are you today? Anastasiia Unhurian 1:14 Hi, I'm doing great, thank you. What about yourself? Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 1:18 I'm feeling positive, so lucky to be alive. We're in a world where every day could be filled with new possibilities. And I'm very curious about you. I will ask this question. If your friends were to describe your personality, what would they say about you? Anastasiia Unhurian 1:36 I think the first one would be friendly. Definitely. Because I'm always open to anyone who comes into my life. Like I am very keen on getting to know new people, finding new friends. Just just discussing and talking and opening the new possibilities that people who came into my life can bring me the second one war, I think it would be positive, no matter what happens in my life, I would definitely stay positive. Like in every, in the worst situation, I would still find the biggest positive outcome that could bring me and my surroundings joy and calm our state, I would say. And the third one, I think strong in any kind of like in mental health, and even it's important physical sense. Because I mean, whatever. Every single stuff that happened in our lives definitely makes us stronger. But for my friends, I think for my like the closest circle of my trusts, they would definitely say that I am the strong one in mostly mental health. But yeah, physical as well. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 3:04 Thank you. So friendly, positive and strong. And let's unpack that. Because this is really, really interesting. As a friendly person. Are you someone who's always smiling? You're open to people directly from the very first second? Or are you more like a girl who has a bitch face? Who people maybe when you went to your flex experience? They're like, Oh my god, do I see angry all the time, even if you're not, but over time you open up to people when you trust them, and you show them your friendly side? Anastasiia Unhurian 3:38 Honestly, from the point of view of my friends who like let's say I just recently met, they would always say that the first impression is that like my bitchy face is something that they pay attention the most. But then when they get to know me closer, they're like, Yeah, you are one of the happiest and friendless person I've ever met. However, I'm trying to portray myself as happy person like whenever I meet someone, I'm smiling. I'm open to them. And just like I don't know why people describe me having bitchface. But honestly, from my side, I think I've like the first impression I make is that I'm friendly and open to everyone and I definitely love smiling. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 4:20 Thank you and let's discuss your positivity. Did you have experiences where you weren't so positive? And you decided no, I refuse to live this life? I want a happy, positive life no matter what. Or if not, what beliefs about the world allow you to easily be positive while a lot of other people cannot find that positivity. Anastasiia Unhurian 4:44 I think that life actually made me to be more positive. Let's say at school I was not so I mean, I was not really positive not really negative, just like you know nature between those two sides. But with every event with every situation that I've experienced, more and more, I realized that in order to be happy, and in order to be even successful and just call inside your, with your emotions, you have to be positive no matter what, and the worst situation even still find the biggest positive outcome you could ever find. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 5:31 I love that. And I see it very related to the next point of being strong. But I will ask you a different question. Are you truly strong? Or is it the impression that people have about you, and you're often thinking, Oh, my God, if they knew the truth that I'm as vulnerable and soft as they come, they wouldn't even believe it. Anastasiia Unhurian 5:55 I would say I'm really strong. I mean, sometimes every person no matter how strong he or she is, they would have some downfalls, they would have some moments that they're like, I just can't do this anymore. I'm giving up and, and so on, and so on. But it just like, for me, it takes, I don't know, like 1015 minutes, let's say, to dive into my negative emotions, let my emotions outlet all of my feelings out and then be like, okay, that time to stop time to think time to work time to do whatever is needed to stay strong and stay in touch with the real world and not to dive deeper into your dark secrets and deepest emotions. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 6:45 Thank you. And then to understand even with more details, what is in your eyes, the definition of a strong person, what makes someone strong, Anastasiia Unhurian 6:57 definitely the thought the real realization that you can achieve everything. You just have to like, pull close, and bring, put your brain put all of your emotions in order and be like, Okay, I'm going to work, I'm gonna overcome whatever comes to Next, I will proceed with my goals, I will proceed with working and calming myself down my emotions, if it's needed to help other people like to talk to them. I mean, whatever the situation is, it depends. But just like overall, just to stay in line and stay in order. With real world, as I said, Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 7:45 I like that, and nowadays are in general, what inspires you? What do you do? Or where do you go, or what helps you feel that feeling of being inspired, and full of bad energy of life, Anastasiia Unhurian 8:02 definitely meetings with my friends, and the time I spend with my boyfriend, I mean, it just the people that I have surrounding me, they're the best ones with them, we've overcome lots of stuff, lots of bad and horrible events, that now helps to strengthen our relations, and definitely the things they do in their life, the goals they pursue, they helped me to, to the help, they inspire me and help me to focus that and stay in the, in the line that where I will be like, pursuing whatever I need to do and staying in touch and like getting more and more inspired from my closest friends and family. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 8:55 Thank you. And I remember, you know, you told me before you wrote actually that you met your boyfriend during the your flex experience, which was what, like five years ago or something like that and you develop a friendship and now maybe you're moving in together in Armenia, etc. I'm curious about that. For two reasons. One, did you from the very beginning feel that this was more than a friendship or was it really like what began as a friendship and then over time, something more developed? Anastasiia Unhurian 9:33 Well, it became as a friendship I would say he he was like really strong and and very inspiring person and I just loved spending time with him. And with every month we kinda like grew closer and closer. We had similar classes. We had different events that our coordinator in the USA organized for the whole exchange group and Just like we started spending more and more time together, and then when it was time to leave, I realized that I kind of don't want to leave because I like him. But at the same time, he had to go to the army in the in Armenia and I had to go to university and we kind of debt. At that point, we weren't separate, separate lives, we had separate lives, but we still kept in touch. We kept video chatting from time to time, texting almost daily, I mean, with time, it kind of decreased the amount of texting we've done. But then after he went to army and there was war, I kind of realized that I just don't want to lose him in my life, no matter what he is, to me as a friend, as a boyfriend is just the person that I know. And we kind of started developing more and more deeper feelings, and then ended up being a couple and yeah, now I'm living in their Mania with him. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 11:00 That's a beautiful love story. And is it a pattern for you with friendships as well? Do you have or have you had the experience maybe with girlfriends or something, or any other person where from the very first second you feel, Oh, my God, I feel I know, this person all my life, I feel so open and you know, comfortable with them, like I've known them, always. Or do you always begin slowly getting to know people over days and months before we open up in 100% of the cases, Anastasiia Unhurian 11:35 I will say more like, with time, I open up to those people and like I just started hanging out with them going, going out for drain coffee, or like just going for a walk around the city, let's say like discussing, at first, like some small moments not to you know, go deeper into your soul or not to open up right away, more like just to, to get to know the person closer and understand what kind of impact she or he would have on your life. And with time, definitely the relations could go closer to the point where we're best friends. And we just like, stay in touch and share. Whatever we have to share with each other and help each other in every kind of way. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 12:26 Thank you. And what traits or characteristics are important for you to develop strong relationships or friendships with people you mentioned that your boyfriend is a strong person? Is that one of the characteristics? Tell me more? Anastasiia Unhurian 12:42 Yeah, definitely the person has to be strong to be, so I can be sure that like, the person will not give up at some point and will not just stay in one wants tab of your life at one stage of your life and like not to move any further. So for this, the strong, the strong character, it's it's really important than trust, definitely, I have to be sure that I can trust the person. I don't know, it's not like that it comes with time, it just you for me, I feel that, yeah, I can definitely trust this person. And I know that this person will trust me. And we just like, go together in in the way of trust and we have the similar views on how it has to be done. And yeah, and definitely the person has to be inspiring. I mean, not like, you know, like the checklist what the person has to be it just, I kind of like feel if the person is inspiring. And I see that the person can inspire herself himself. And the person can then the person can inspire me and we can develop our characters and go further in life together. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 14:00 I like that and I'm asking do you feel people's energy? Are those people who are always progressing and inspiring Do you see like, in their eyes, there is a different kind of shiny energy of life compared to other people who might have zombie eyes and they feel more excited or you don't notice such things. Anastasiia Unhurian 14:24 I would say I noticed that but not like from the first view in the person eyes. But when the person talks about something like let's, let's say for example, the person starts talking about their goals, what they want to achieve. Sometimes the person just wants to achieve goals because they were implemented from the side of I don't know relatives, friends, the society and when I see that the person who is truly inspired to pursue her or his own goals and build up the life that they're planning to do, they're planning to build that's definitely like this part. equals in the eyes when the person talks about the whatever event they are planning to do, or whatever goals they want to achieve, you can, if the person is up to this, you will definitely see the sparkle in their eyes say, I'm, I'm ready to roll the world, and I'm ready to do whatever it needs to be done. So I can be happy with myself and I can make other people happy. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 15:27 I like that. And I will ask you a difficult question. Let's say there are only two people in the world that you can become friends with, or a deep connection with. One of them has that passion, they want to rule the world, they have all their goals, but you disagree with everything that their goals are with all their beliefs, etc. Or someone who you and them have totally exactly the same believes the same goals, but they don't do much about them. They stay lazy. Which one would you choose? I wouldn't Anastasiia Unhurian 16:01 even say it's the easiest question because the first person all the differences between two people, they can definitely be overcomed. And you can work your way through together if you don't agree on some things. Like the most important thing is is headed that the person is keen on something and the person pursues his or her goals, and does everything that needs to be done to get to that point in their life. Well, when they are realizing that I am. I am where I have to be I am where I supposed to be. The second person does not sound so inspiring. And yeah, even though the goals are the same, the views are the same. Still, I would I think I would choose the person who has the China their life on whatever they're doing. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 16:50 Thank you and with your experiences living in different places, and knowing a lot of people are those people who are ruling their world are rare and hard to find or not so much. Anastasiia Unhurian 17:04 I would say those people are rare, kinda you have to know where to look for those people. I don't know, I can say that all of the people I've met are the type of people that are ready to roll the world and ready to achieve their goals. But I can say definitely that the closest people to me they are. They're exactly the the people that I love and the people that I'm inspired by. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 17:33 I like that you fill in your life with that positivity. And now I'll you know, ask for your strong side because I want to understand February 24 invasion. It's a horrible day. How was that day for you? How did you hear about the army? The Russian army coming into Ukraine? What did you do? Did you believe it at first or not? How did you feel? Tell me about that day, the whole story. Anastasiia Unhurian 18:03 On that day, I was actually working my night shift. And I was about to finish my work at 530. So the shift ends at 530. And I was ready to go to bed keep sleeping having my sweet dreams. But then I I started hearing some explosions. And I leave not so far from the park where sometimes fireworks are and I was thinking at first that it was fireworks. I don't know why. But when they kept becoming stronger, and they they were appearing more often, I came to realize that with all the news that were going on in social media before 24th of February, I realized that this is war, kind of get me have caught me off guard. I didn't know what to do. What what to should I gather where to go and so on and so on. I had this like moment of panic attack for I don't know, like, maximum 30 minutes and then I pulled myself together realize that hey, I have to pack that back. Whatever I need to be done document some clothes, warm clothes, especially because it was kinda chilly. And then I just decided that I'm going to go out see where people are going from my building. Probably I don't know, they would go to some bomb shelters or just just to see what other people are doing so I can follow them. But then my friend texted me and they were going to the village just to stay for a couple of days. And she texted me if I if they if I want to be picked up and I said yeah, please do because I didn't know where to go. I know where the bomb shelters are. But I didn't know if it's going to be really safe. I mean, what the building collapses and so on and so on. So, I ended up going to the village with my friend. Kotsay. She was actually here on podcast and And we stayed there for a couple of weeks while we could stay there, and then we decided to leave the village and go, I decided to go back to my family, to my hometown, and she stayed not so far from here with her boyfriend and his family. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 20:17 Thank you. And tell me about the six months? How did your life change? Like emotionally as a person? Did you become more strong or more about enjoying the day? Because you never know if it's your last? How do you feel? How are your thoughts? And how did they evolve? Anastasiia Unhurian 20:38 I think I would say both. Because at some point, I really became stronger to overcome such event overcome such war in your life it I don't know. And stay positive. It's kind of hard to even think about before no one thought from my friends that hey, yeah, like real work can happen. We just thought maybe some little explosions. Maybe when when it started, we were like, it'll finish in a couple of days, couple of weeks. And then six months, still not done. But yeah, definitely stronger, and the same time, more into enjoying every day of my life and just living living my life the way I wanted to live. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 21:25 Thank you. I like who you are as a person. And therefore I'll ask where are you this way, even before your flex experience? Or did that 10 months or a year abroad truly make you stronger? And let you know that you have to be positive, etc. So were you chosen? Because you are this way? Or did that experience transform you and how? Anastasiia Unhurian 21:51 I think that experience actually helped me to work on my positiveness to work on my to work on how I view the world because before the only close people to me were my family. I like those two brothers. The third one Good morning, a little bit later, almost a year before I had to leave to the USA. But with the experience that I had, back in the United States, it really helped helped me opened up and then after that I almost right away move to another city to live in Kyiv and study in the university. So it just kind of one experience after another helped me to become who I am right now. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 22:38 I really like that. And what are your prep plans nowadays? Since you move to a whole new country in Armenia? Do you plan to work online? What kind of things do you want to do? What do you do in Armenia in order to keep your mental health balanced, Anastasiia Unhurian 22:55 I still work online. But to keep myself balanced, I just started living with my boyfriend since he knows since he's been to work, he also knows what it is and how to save yourself from those crazy, crazy annoying thoughts that sometimes might appear. So he really helped me to overcome. Everything that came through came after I moved to Armenia, but I'm planning to stay here until the war ends, then I really want to go back to Ukraine, and still live there. I mean, I still feel like my experience in care is not over yet. And I still have so many stuff that I would love to do. And I would just, I just can't wait to move back to Ukraine for for pretty long period of time. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 23:45 Thank you, Anastasia. This was truly fascinating. I appreciate you sharing yourself and your stories and life and all I can say is Slava, okra, uni heroin flower. Thank you again. I wish you a good day. And I appreciate you participating. Anastasiia Unhurian 24:07 Thank you for such an amazing experience. It's been a pleasure to talk to you