E064 Daiana Olteanu

Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 0:08 femininity is powerful in all its forms exceptional women, rare girls must be appreciated in every way for their perspective, actions, thoughts, and their unique ways of being such rare girls are inspiring. And this is what this podcast is all about. Hello, my name is Aziz and my guest today is Diana Olteanu. Diana is a flex alumni coordinator of Romania and a third year medical student at Carol Davila, University of Medicine and pharmacy in Bucharest, Romania during her flex exchange year, which is a scholarship funded by the Department of State, USA. She graduated from high school in Missouri. In her free time from school and work, she volunteers at different events. And at the Medical Students Society. Diana enjoys trying new things, especially foods, traveling, reading, or doing sports and she always finds herself excited for new opportunities and meeting new people. Diana, how are you today? Daiana Olteanu 1:27 Hello, Aziz. I am very excited today because I get to be part of this really interesting podcast. So thank you for having me as a guest. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 1:38 You're welcome. I'm happy, honored, privileged. And I noticed a British accent although Europe likes person who studied in the US is that because you had like some fascination with Harry Potter and the Queen and the princesses? Or it just unintentional. Daiana Olteanu 1:57 Yeah, I think it's a bit related to Harry Potter, but is more because we study the British English in school at my high school in Romania. So I think I got a bit of an accent from there, and also the Harry Potter movies. You're very much right about that. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 2:14 Thank you. But right now you sound that pure American, I guess. Daiana Olteanu 2:19 Yeah, I just I just switch between the two of them. Because when I was in the States, people would tell me that I'm British. And then I got the Missouri accent, which is like a Southern accent where we used a lot of yellows and how you're doing so? Now he's just a mix between, you know, Southern American and British? Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 2:39 Well, that's really good. You know, it makes you cosmopolitan. And I'm wondering really about you because you love meeting new people, you probably have a lot of friends and acquaintances. If I were to ask all those people, about you, who they feel you are your personality, what would they say? Daiana Olteanu 3:00 I think most of my friends would describe me as spontaneous, I do not really make a lot of plans. I just go with the flow most of the time that I have, really. So I think that would be the first thing they would tell you about me. And also that I am very extroverted. So you know, there's that same with extroverts, adopting introverts. That's how I make friends. I always speak the person who speaks, you know, least in a room and I go up to them, and I'm like, Hey, do you want to be friends? And I feel like I always find out the most interesting things from people who are not that extroverted at first. So a lot more shy people. And I think another thing they would say about me is that I'm busy all of the time. I'm always doing something, I'm always on the go. I always have something to do or somewhere to be. So I think that would be another thing that they would mention about me probably. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 3:58 I love that I have so many questions. I'll begin with the first one as a spontaneous person who is also a medical and pharmacy student. Well, sometimes all those books and memorization and studies is somehow of killjoy, the how do you keep yourself motivated when you're studying if your soul is yearning for excitement and new adventures, Daiana Olteanu 4:25 I think the most important thing with this is the fact that I actually enjoy what I'm doing. So I enjoy studying medicine a lot. I mean, it's a big part of keeping myself excited. But of course, even though I love what I'm studying, and I love the field, that I mean, it sometimes gets very tiring, and there's a lot of information that you need to grasp. So sometimes I just really take breaks. I'm just like, Okay, I'm not feeling this right now. And I feel that I get out of focus, and I cannot understand what I'm reading You're doing anymore? So I'm just like, Yeah, let's take a break. And I go for a random walk or just play some music in my room and dance for 10 minutes, or something just to get me out of that studying mood for at least 15 minutes, and then I'm ready to go again. So that's pretty much what I do. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 5:21 I love that. And maybe you even answer this because I'm curious about this. You said, you're someone who's always busy. How do you not burn out or deal with the possibility of burnout? Because even if we do what we love, if we're constantly on the go, go, go go. Sometimes some people might like, go into a burnout phase, the have you experienced it? What's your solution or secret to dealing with it, Daiana Olteanu 5:51 I have experienced burnout indeed. But what I'm doing at the moment is I'm calling myself busy when I have self care time as well. So let's say I have a day where I need to have meetings at work. But I also need to study for a few hours. And then I want to do some content for social media, because I also have a Bookstagram account. And there's just everything that I need to get done. And I sometimes plan my days, but I only planned my day in the beginning of that day. So I never really plan ahead of time I wake up in the morning, I check what my mood is. And then I just put on a lease what I want to do that date. So I would put in there for example, like 30 minutes of reading. So for that period of time, I would count myself as busy. So if someone texts me, and he's like, Hey, do you want to do this? Or can you help me with that, I would just tell them that I have something to do at the moment. Even though it's not actual work. It's just my time that I gave myself where I kind of just allow my body and my mind to recover from the stress of it all. But I did have periods in my life where I would be burned out. And those were mostly my first year of med school because everything was so overwhelming. And pretty much what I did was I spent some time looking back at what I did wrong. And what I did wrong was that I would not get out of the house. So I would spend all my time studying or inside the house literally not always just studying, but just not going out because I thought I would feel guilty for going out instead of doing what I thought I had to do. So I just spent some time to look back at what I did, how that made me feel. And I slowly adapted second year of med school went a bit better. So I did not burn out that much. But then I had another period of like, two months when I got my job that I felt burned out because it was something new that I needed to add into my schedule. So was something new that I needed to adapt to, and see how it works and how I can really give myself some time for myself. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 8:15 I love that. And I have literally at least 10 Questions about you. But I'll ask just one, you said if someone texts you and you're already scheduled another activity, you will tell them you're busy. A lot of people feel they're like pleasers to other people, they cannot tell them no, they feel it's wrong or offensive to set boundaries. So what motivates you or gave you this understanding possibility and ability to actually set boundaries. Daiana Olteanu 8:47 I think the biggest thing with this for me is that I am actually the biggest people pleaser in the world. Or at least I consider myself to be. So I've had problems with that. Ever since I was very, very young. I would always say yes to everything everyone was asking me to do because I wanted them to feel good about me to like. But then as I grew up, and I started to become more mature and kind of just realized what kind of people I need in my life and that I want in my life, I realized that I wouldn't want someone who would meet mad at me because I'm not available the moment that they are available. So what I mean is that I need to have people who understand when I'm busy because I am also able to understand when other people are busy. So just because they have some time then for me it doesn't mean that I have to cancel everything that I'm doing and give them that time when they have it. If I wait for them to be available, they can also wait for me to be available to do stuff with them. And I think this is really what makes all my current friendships. So strong is this, you know, common understanding between us that, hey, I have these things that I want to do, I love you, you're my friend, I enjoy spending time with you. But I really can't at this point. And they understand that I understand that. So as long as we share this understanding, my connection to them is as strong as ever. So even if we don't meet for two months, when we meet, it's the same thing. We are just as good of friends were just as excited about as each other as we weren't before. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 10:48 I love how you think it's very, both practical, and it respects your own self esteem and your own value as a person. And it seems to me that people are so important in your life. So I'll ask you this, as someone who is super extroverted, are you also an empath? Are you able to feel people's energy or something like that? Daiana Olteanu 11:15 Yes, I am actually very capable of noticing any small shifts or changes in people's mood. I always say about myself that I'm an extrovert, although in reality, I'm an ambivert. So I have my moments when I need some time off from people. But I think what people get confused a bit is this thing between the relationship between being an extrovert and paying attention, I don't feel that, because I'm extroverted. And I love speaking, and I love interacting with people that I'm not paying attention to them. It's very funny because I can sit at a table with 20 people, I can be the one doing most of the talking, I will know what every single person at the table has as a reaction to what I'm saying or what other people are saying, I know, if they don't like their food, I know that the person in the corner laughed at my joke. And I know, I noticed that the one at the other side of the table didn't really feel comfortable with the conversation. I notice every single small change that happens to people whenever I'm in a social interaction. And I really like that about myself, because I feel like I can have a good time and not feel, I don't know, cornered or, you know, left aside, maybe. But I can also make sure that other people are also including in the conversation. I also know if a person does not want to speak on that subject, I know when to stop approaching a person with a question or when to go ahead and do it. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 13:05 I like that that's a great superpower. And when people are empaths, when you were a little girl, did you have this challenge that when people around you or even in the street are angry for whatever reason, or in a bad mood? You didn't know it was independent from you that you thought Oh, my God, or did they do something? Did they make them angry? Why can't I fix it? And that can be a challenge? Did you have it? Daiana Olteanu 13:35 Yes, I did, actually, especially with my close ones or loved ones, I would feel like I am responsible for their moods, a lot of the times I still do now. It's something that I'm working on learning constantly. Because it is indeed something that I struggled with. And also with walking down the street, not just you know, people being upset about something like mad, but also just being sad, or, you know, seeing a person crying, I would always have that feeling that I need to go up to them and help them or that if I don't do that, then maybe I'm not doing enough. But I think most of the times when I did have that feeling of guilt for someone's feelings, it was, you know, as I said, with family, or just really close friends where I would be like, Hey, did I do something wrong? And I, I've come to terms with the idea that it's not wrong to ask them if you did something wrong, just to make sure to double check because maybe some people have a harder time to let you know when you've done something wrong. So it's fine to go up to them and ask Hey, are you upset? Do you think it is something that maybe I did, but the most important change a person who struggles with this, that shoe You should do different is except when the other person tells them, it's not their fault. So if I go up to a friend and be like, Hey, you're upset today? Did I do something? And they say, No, you know, I'm just tired, or I've just had some problems at home, I should just stop there and not assume that they're lying to me to make me feel better or hide something from me. Just let them feel the way they're feeling. Maybe they really are just tired, or maybe they really just did have a bad day. It's not our responsibility for the way people feel all of the time. If they do not let you know that you did something wrong to them, that you did something, you did not do something wrong to them. If you would have, they would have let you know. That's how I tried to think about things most of the time. But you know, I'm human, I cannot always think like that I sometimes still feel guilty for you know, the way people are feeling, although it's not something that I should be feel, should be feeling guilty about. But yeah, it's constant work. And it's something that you just have to teach yourself every single day, Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 16:13 that is really a wise perspective and wise advice. And now I'm curious, why did you choose the medical field? Because literally, you'll be surrounded by people in pain all day long. And often you might pick up that you know, that energy in your body? Do you do something to clear it out? Do you plan every day after? You know helping people to take a bath and disconnect or meditate? Or how would you deal with that, because literally, and subconsciously, you'll be around people in pain, and that will reflect into your psyche and your body? Daiana Olteanu 16:54 Yes, I have chosen the medical field. When I was really young, I've always been in love with sciences. But I have always been really connected to people as well, ever since I was very young. So in school, I learned that I love science. And ever since I've been born, I learned that I love people. So then I, you know, just was being kids trying to figure out our lives at a very young age, I realized that medicine is just this really nice mix of science and humans. That's how I chose medicine. But I really did have to consider the emotional part of it. Because as I said earlier, I am the kind of person who feels like they should help everyone and should do something for every single person who's in pain. And really what medicine teaches you, among many other things is that sometimes there's really so much that you can do that there's a limit to what a human can you can do for another human. And it's very hard to accept it is not something that I've come to accept yet it is not something that I am used to because I'm I'm just in third year now. And I worked with people just during summer medical practice, really. So I feel like maybe when I'm going to start interacting with people more, I will have to find new, better ways to deal with that emotional baggage that comes with the work that we do. But something that I have been doing because it's not only you know, with having people in physical pain around you, a lot of time that affect you. I've also had friends who are in a lot of emotional pain, and it kind of got to me as well. Something that I do is journal, I love journaling. And I do this kind of chaotic journaling, where you brain dump. So you throw on a piece of paper, all of the thoughts that you have, even though they may not make sense, you just put words on a piece of paper, and that kind of helps you to get everything out, but not have to say to someone or make phrases or make it make sense. It's just like your feelings and your thoughts on a piece of paper. And once you write them down, they're out and you don't carry them with you anymore. That is something that helps me so much when I feel like I get stuck with a hole of emotional baggage. He, and that and also sports, I feel like because I mentioned that I enjoy doing sports, especially hiking and running, it is something that just clears my mind. So quickly, I just need to get out for 30 minutes. And everything starts puzzling back up. It's very funny. I don't know. I mean, I know how it works like, medically it's hormones. But it just amazes me every single time that I can be feeling so bad, go out for a run for 30 minutes and then be back in and a different person. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 20:35 Thank you. And yes, I noticed that the chaotic journaling helped you be much more introspective. And as an ambivert, you had this introverted tendency, and you said, since you were born, you knew that you love people. What do you love the most about people? What's the most fascinating thing? Is it their stories, their uniqueness, their psychology? And you like reflecting on different psychological theorems when you're speaking with them? Is that united, they can change the world? Is it the lessons you learned? Or the exchange of energy? Or what about people causes you to love them so much? Daiana Olteanu 21:20 I think it's pretty much everything that you said, to be quite honest. But I think that I'm a very intuitive person. So I don't really do that psychoanalysis thing, people thing, at least not consciously. So let's say that is kind of out of my answer. But I do love people's human uniqueness. I also do love the way people change. So let's say I had a friend in high school, I didn't meet up with them for three years, we meet up and they're so different. They're a different person with different passions with different things that they do, they may be rediscovered themselves fully and completely, but their energy up kind of just most of the time is the same, which is very fascinating to me. As I said, I'm very intuitive. So I, you know, most of the times, interact with people in the way that I feel, it's not something that I necessarily think about is just what vibe that person gives me, that's the way I've returned the vibe. So a thing that I really love about people is how much they can change what you're doing what you're thinking, but how their soul kind of stays the same and aches for the same things. And yeah, and I've always loved communicating with people really just listening to them listening to what they have to say, learning things from them is such an amazing thing, even if they don't realize they're actually teaching you something or you don't realize you're learning something from them. Because you know, when you just speak to people, it's not like a lesson in school, they write up on the whiteboard, hey, I do things like this, and this and this, and you have to do them like that as well. It's just this exchange of words and emotions that teaches you something about the other person and about yourself. I feel like I always find a bit of myself in every person. And I feel like I have a beat of every person that I've ever spoken to. In myself as well. So it's that energy exchange kind of that gives me so much power and or finding makes me feel so much powerful, and just connected overall with people. I think that's what I love most. That energy exchange. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 24:06 Thank you. And you mentioned because you're speaking like a very spiritual person, but you said, your love hard sciences, you're good at it, you have the mind for it. So can you speak a little bit about your spiritual side? How do you view the world? Do you view the world as a flow of energies, or as manifesting destinies, or people as a reflection of the Divine that you look into? Or that everything is predetermined or nothing is and it's chaos, like your journal? And we're just making sense of it? Or how do you view it? Daiana Olteanu 24:42 Oh, I love this question so much. I have a very complex view of that. I am a Christian. So I believe in God, but I do believe that God is energy so it's not like a physical thing, I feel like, truly, it's just energy that flows into everything, I believe people are pieces of God, and that nature is a piece of God, I just call this energy God, I think a lot of people believe in this energy, they just don't give it a name, which is fine. It's okay. You don't have to. But I am a very spiritual person. And you also talked about destinies and the way life works. Well, the way I see it. And the way I think it happens, of course, nobody can know for sure it is just like branches of a tree. So let's say you are born on June 30 2000, which is my birthday. And I have, you know, this road that I walk on that is created. For me, it's something that I need to follow, I cannot go on the left or on the right or whatever. And then I get to a point in my life when I can make a choice. So it is something that I choose, I choose to go right. And then that road on the right is already paved, it already goes to the next point, I cannot change it anymore. That is my destiny. But I have crossroads in my life where I can make a choice, I can either go left or right or forward or, I don't know, take a turn or anything like that. But the road that I'm taking, after I make that choice is paved for me until the next crossroad. That's how I think things work. We have some choices in life that we make. We are given those choices many times during our lives. But overall, after we make that choice for some time, there is something for us that we cannot change that is going to happen. I think that explains coincidences or things that you cannot control. But at one point in your life, you did make a choice that led you to the next thing. So yeah, I think you always have the power to change your life, the road you're on. But after you make those choices, it's just staying the same for a while and then you can choose again. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 27:35 I like that very much like those games that are adventure games or something like that, but much more complex and all encompassing. Thank you, Diana, this was my privilege, my honor. Such a truly enriching conversation. And I'm really happy you're participated. Thank you. Daiana Olteanu 27:58 Thank you so much for having me. Thank you again. I was so excited about it, and I really loved our interaction. So thank you again.