E071 Viktoriia Durytska

Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 0:08 femininity is powerful in all its forms exceptional women, rare girls must be appreciated in every way for their perspective, actions, thoughts, and their unique ways of being. Such rare girls are inspiring. And this is what this podcast is all about. Hello, my name is Aziz and my guest today is Victoria, do read scarf. Victoria is a student at National Pedagogical Dragoman of university and give to become a primary school teacher and English teacher. Currently, she is in Belgium, so she is studying French to explore learning that language. Her hobbies include playing piano and crochet eating, especially toys, Victoria loves running, as well as writing poems when she is inspired by something, or by someone, as well as texts for studying or when she is too emotional or too present in some youth project. She enjoys spending time with her three siblings, her family and friends Victoria, how are you today? Viktoriia Durytska 1:29 Hello, everyone. I'm Victoria. And I feel really happy for now to spread some happiness with others who will listen to this podcast, with me and with Aziz. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 1:43 Thank you so much, you're so kind, and to begin spreading the happiness. If people could understand your personality, who you are as a person, or maybe ask your siblings about you to describe you. What would they say? Viktoriia Durytska 2:00 I think they would say they really love development, especially self development. I mean, I love develop in as many ways as I can. It can be different languages. It can be new hobbies, it can be music, it can be writing, it can be everything I can do. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 2:23 Thank you. And can you tell me about the piano? How did your love for that instrument begin, Viktoriia Durytska 2:30 I started to attend musical classes. I mean, like piano classes with my music teacher in my school when I was just six. And then it was mostly a decision of my dearest mom. Because my mom used to love singing and playing the piano when she was in my age. I mean, six years old. But her parents couldn't afford such classes. And she would love to meet to play. And I was going and then it was too hot for me. And I didn't want to actually. But I told myself that I should go and I should try. And then I just said myself that I didn't want to attend musical classes anymore. And after I was sorry about this, but it was too late. So I continue continue to, to play on my own at my home on my on my own instrument. And when I was happy I was playing when I was said I was playing and it's just so important way to express my feelings, my emotions, it's like a you know, reflection. When it's bad for you, you're done. You have no need to shout at someone, you can just play the piano and express your feelings. And it's no matter if they are good or bad. I think music is the way of creativity that everyone should try. That's my point. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 4:25 Thank you. So it's like a meditation for you. Now, of course, you mentioned that texts are for you also something that you use when you're feeling too emotional. How do you do it and how different is it to music? Viktoriia Durytska 4:41 For example, poems is a more simple way to express feelings. Why? Because all you need is your brain, your mind and why? To write down. You don't need to have any instrument nearby zoo, you can use just notes in your phone, or, for example, some worksheet and a pen to write down that lines of the words that you you're feeling. It can be not poems, it can be just sentence that describes your feelings. For example, oh my God, why life is so hard. And you write down and write down and write down and then you understand what I'm actually worrying about. And it can be like, dying with your psychotherapist. But it can be more easier for your money and for your brain. I don't know. But it helps me and I hope it will help someone else. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 5:52 I agree. And tell me about Belgium. I heard from some people who left Ukraine that it's harder to make friends in a place like Belgium compared to back home and Ukraine. Is this your experience? What are your thoughts about this? Viktoriia Durytska 6:10 Actually, a lot of my friends and just people who I know, said me that it's really hard to find friends here. But for me, I, for me, it's really hard to find true love friends. I mean, not just people who you can communicate with, I mean, people who haven't your mindset, your things that you appreciate, value, etc. And for me, funnily, I have found my true friend here in Belgium, and he's from Ukraine. Yes, of course, it it is much more difficult to communicate to arrange some meetings with other people with such as a social worker, for example, because you don't know Language and English is known by a very few amount of people. But if you want to eat, it is possible to have some people because in Belgium, there are a lot of people who are refugees from Ukraine. And you should still be kind and polite, you can find someone for me, maybe it will not be your friends from Ukraine. Because some friends can stay at home, some friends can move to another country. But for me, it is the greatest way to improve myself in a very different way. So I'm happy to hear for now. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 7:53 Thank you. So tell me about your days in Belgium, when do you wake up? What do you do first? How do you keep your mental health Okay, and not get into too much negativity or burnout or missing home? How do you keep moving forward? And you keep yourself saying Viktoriia Durytska 8:14 no, it's really very, very important questions that will budge anyone who are suffering abroad. So, I should start with the fact that it was my first first trip abroad, I mean, all my entire life all my 17 years of my life, I have spent toe and it was really difficult to understand that it is not meant home people speak another language. This language is very, very, very different from Ukrainian and it was really hard, but now I have studied in my university, I have Coke was the poster. So, course of French Yes. And I see my some progress in language. And it it made me feel alive, it makes me feel better. Because I have started to dream especially today because I have found that I really have some possibilities for example to side here to work here when I will have diploma and when I will have some level of language for example, because sometimes there are a little troubles sometimes it's really hard to not burn out to feel okay, but I try and sometimes I feel really bad sometimes I want to cry. I want to go home. I think it is a bra The situation that will, everyone will have in the life if they are refugee. And if they didn't want to go abroad, they just escaped from work, and they just wanted to be alive. That's the point why they are abroad. And for first month is it was really, really, really difficult. But for now, I wake up at seven o'clock, most of the time. If I have some things to do, for example, I don't know, some meetings with government or some social worker, for example, I go there, if not, I just wake up, drink my coffee, breakfast, then at it's 830. My lesson at university starts. And I have my lessons force speciality they I was dreaming about from 10 years old. And then sometimes I have time to do my, I don't know how to walk my crochet routine, my running sometimes not depends on the other different things. But most of the time I just studying and study French in the center of studying and take my time with the Z blinks. Because a lot of them. And I think it's all it's my most important things that I have to do every day. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 11:45 Thank you. And don't defend really your story. Can you share how February 24 was for you? How did you hear about the invasion? Did you believe it at first? Did you not believe it? What happened? How did you feel? What did you do? Tell me everything about that day and everything that happened until you arrive to Belgium. Viktoriia Durytska 12:11 My last one date with my ex boyfriend was on the 23rd of February. And when I was at home, my boyfriend went home. It was midnight when I go to bed when they went to bed. And I was really scared because I went to a really, really noisy sound from that plane. In my village. Most of the times there are no planes in the midnight. And I was worried about this. And I typed him. And he replied to me like, oh, we could Don't worry. All right, just the plane. And on the next day, my grandma, she wanted to go to the walk. She was a teacher. My grandpa also wanted to go to the VOC. But it was like 5am and I woke up I didn't understand actually what's going on. And I didn't believe that. I just it's impossible it can be it can be nominal. And even when it was occupation of my village and all her nearest religious, I just couldn't believe in that. It's it's like it's impossible now, then, no, no, no, no texts, no Russian soldiers. And when it was no noise, the sound of bombs nearby because I used to live between Burj Janka and Bucha. And it was really terrible, but I couldn't believe that. I couldn't believe when it was really noise. Whoo. We just throw taken. I mean, me and my brother, who are the eldest of the youngest ones, we just took our small siblings and we're on into the most safe place in our house. It is not the safest place in the world, but it was the safest place in our house and record and believe why we were finding because glass could destroy it. And it's very, very unsafe. It's very, very dangerous. So that's why we did this And after ait much is like, Women Day is a no. And on the next day, Russian soldiers war working, not working, they will go in to the each of the houses in my village including my street, another one streets. And I was really really scared because there was not like, imagine five soldiers or nine soldiers with some guns can go to your house can broke your house can kill y'all all your family and you can do nothing, they can rape you, you can do nothing, they can kill you, they can harm you, you can do nothing. They can take away your I don't know if you can Cosman it's it can be your husband, it can be you it can be all your family. And it was really, really scared. That's why we have decided to go away to the best of Ukraine on the grounds of so much. And yes, those occupation yes, we could be killed. Because some people died when they were trying to evacuate. And you got to know them. When we walk on the best of Ukraine. There was destroyed village that's we want more control. And yes, every my day was like, the morning I wake up, I can see all my family, we lay down on the same floor. And I was just blessing God, that I'm alive. All my family I alive, we're together. Well, before falling asleep. I just looking at my family. It's my grandparents. It's my mother. And it's my beautiful breezy things and is thinking both God that I'm alive. And I hope to wake up in the morning and see them all alive. Because at the time, there was a little little little small of information. And for Bucha, we know, almost notion. And it was I was really shocked that my neighbor was killed by Russian soldiers. But he did not and you know, he just walked in. He was riding the car just by them nearby. He did not but they killed him. And it was so scary that I can't even share the information. It's just words, but it was really very, very scary for me. And then we want the west of Ukraine, and there was some bombings of west of Ukraine. And we decided to move forward to go to Belgium, why Belgium because there was one related that moved earlier. And we decided to go here. And then it was sort of a hard to obtain. I mean, all of them. Moments about language, about culture, about social payments about government about Carter are about contemporary protection. It was really hard. But we went through the toll together and I'm happy that we are all together like registering family. And I think it's that way that I feel better. Because for me, I didn't know who would be if not my family. And yes, it was really scary to think that you can be killed in any way in any day. But for now, I realize that there is occupation is that prayer that I get to know how to feel alive, how to really value your each day of your life, how to feel better, I don't know. But it is very important that years of my life. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 20:01 Thank you. Yes, that's seems so emotional. And yes, you said you value your life more now, can you speak more in detail in this period of six months? How did you change as a person? What are your thoughts or perspectives are different? Are you brave to do new things that before you were too shy to do? Or what are some things in yourself that changed in this half a year? Viktoriia Durytska 20:31 It's really interesting and important question. Because I really do have changed. For me. I used to be afraid of everything. I mean, new possibilities, new status, new people, everything. But now, I just, I'm not afraid, you know, if, if it's not kill me. If it's not killing me, it must make me feel stronger. I became more self confident. Like, I believe in God, and in myself the most my prayed. Because, for example, when I can decide my life, I decide I choose, I make some important and smart things for me advice things. But if I can, for example, I don't know if it'd be if it will be the place where I can live in the half of the year, because there is a time I can live here. But I think God knows, I think only God can decide now, what I should do. There is some situation that we can't control that. And for people they are like for I don't know how to explain like God, yes, I became more stronger, more self confident. For now. I am not afraid of such things like trying some new era. Yes, I'm still afraid of death. But sometimes, I feel like I'm afraid of a noise. For example, there is some haunting Huntress. There is some grease, some different noises that can frayed me, can scare me. It can be some planes, it can be some people who don't understand that I'm still afraid. And in my first two or three months this year, I was very well aware they were afraid of any sound. But for now, I feel much stronger. I feel that my zone, my comfort zone had increase it. I mean, I used to think that I can't move to another one city of Ukraine. I live there No, I can move to another one country and live here. Because from my city in Belgium to my village in Ukraine, there is a distance for 2000 kilometers and 2200 kilometers, it is a really very, very, very big distance for me, like huge distance for me. Because I used to move only for example, one month to another one city, but not Europe. And I'm really happy to get this experience. Also, I had a great experience to practice my French to learn French from zero level to practice my year was because when I moved here, people gave our place to live. They speak French and they speak English and English was the way to communicate. I am really proud of the Ukrainians who started to speak Ukrainian, for example. There is a huge amount of Ukrainians abroad here in Belgium, who are speaking in Russia. And I had that this fact, but it is the fact but some of these people want to speak Ukrainian. They're trying to speak Ukrainian. I don't know it is for me or it is for them themselves. But I'm really proud of this fact. And all the Ukrainians doesn't matter abroad. war in Ukraine, we became much more stronger, and much more connected with each other. We started to help each other. Yes, some people became more angry, became more close to themselves. But some people really improved. I mean, I noticed that, my friends, I had no idea that they can be so brave. They went to the VA, like if in front of the enemy. And for me, it is for a huge amount of heroism. Because I couldn't do that. I couldn't be volunteer, I could donate for the needed mix what I do, but to fight not, it's not for me. So I'm just so proud of every Ukrainian, every Ukrainian people, every Ukrainian woman, man, boy, y'all are we are all examples to each other, to Europe, to all the people in the world. The same situation is for my family, and Ukrainian Ukrainian people are all the whole family, I think, yes, sometimes it's hard to understand the child that for example, for me, it's Russian. But also, I had understood what I really value. Because when you understand that you can die in any moment of your life, you choose, you choose only the best you can have. You didn't choose like some Thresh. When you can eat healthy food, you choose only the best, I mean, in communication of people in lifestyle, in mindset, in the quality products in everything. And I started to understand that lots of people in my life are wasting of my time, like Billy Eilish said, so don't waste my time I don't have. And I started to rethink about what to communicate with what I have for my breakfast. What do you do in my life? If I'm happy at all, if not, what they can do to feel happy. And that is really the most important questions. I think each person should ask himself or herself. Because it's a way to happiness, even though to successful it. Success is not about business success is about your own happiness. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 28:10 I agree with you on 100%. Do you feel that a lot of the Ukrainians who are immigrants, now near you in Belgium, also believe and feel that success is happiness, and they're taking care of their happiness and mental health as well? Viktoriia Durytska 28:30 I didn't know actually. Because I have noticed that my mindset is not always the mindset of others, for example, it's really hard for me to find truly friends, because my mindset is more European. But in Ukraine, I found that some people are angry for me and I don't know why. And my close friends really get to care about them. Health, including mental health. And yes, they are using, like music, like quality music, not just sounds and text that means something and they use reflection to understand themselves better. And I'm so proud of this people. And I'm so proud they are my close friends because as you know, your personality is average of five your closest friends. We just walk in, for example, when I'm talking about something these people who are angry and pessimistic, I can find I can find that there is so bad word. There is some disgusting people, but they're not. If you don't believe in this, they're not what is wonderful and people are too. So some of people don't care about themselves and care about other selves. And it is where am said, some of my even relatives, I just have tried to explain them that mental health is important. You have the need to take in care about things that you can't choose, you can't change. But now they are still talking about, I don't know, some political issues, some ecological issues, they can change. And for me, it is self destructive for me, you have to take in care about things you you can change you can choose. And some of people lose or some of people not. But I hope that people will taken care about themselves. Because who if not very, Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 31:15 thank you, Victoria. This was really deep. This was really important. And thank you for sharing your voice, your stories, and your life. And all I can say is love or cry any slower. I wish you a good day. I wish you peace in Belgium, and I wish victory for Ukraine and thank you for participating. Viktoriia Durytska 31:41 Thank you for having me. It was really nice experience. And I'm really, really happy to spread my experience. Spread my information my mind because I hope there will be lots of people who are thinking in the same way or in the similar way. So I'm really, really happy to participate. Thank you and have a nice evening.