E074 Anastasiia Kuzmuk

Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 0:08 femininity is powerful in all its forms exceptional women. Rare girls must be appreciated in every way for their perspectives, actions, thoughts, and their unique ways of being such rare girls are inspiring. And this is what this podcast is all about. Hello, my name is Aziz and my guest today is Anastasia Cosmo book. Anastasia is a student of two universities a psychology student at give National University of Taras Shevchenko, but she realized that working as a psychotherapist will be too draining for her. So this year, she entered a university in Poland war, so called Lazar ski University majoring in International Relations, the best way to describe her is that she is a very open minded individual. curious about the world. Anastasia has always been into politics, she has taken part in various political events for teens and studied political science in her free time. Currently, she is part of sent Javelin organization, which works hard to help and rebuild Ukraine Anastasiya How are you today? Anastasiia Kuzmuk 1:35 Hi. I'd say I'm good. And it's quite an you know, surprising experience for me. But I'm really happy that I'm here today with Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 1:45 you. Me too. I'm happy. I'm privileged. I'm honored. And I'm very curious about you, since you're a self described, open minded person, if your friends were to be asked about you, your personality, your character, what would they add to that description? Or what would they say? Anastasiia Kuzmuk 2:06 Might say they would say that I'm very fun to be around. I do realize that modern world is too serious. And sometimes it's kind of, you know, if you dig deeper, if you are like, into everything that's going on in the world, you'll realize that it's kind of sad. So I don't want to project that sadness under the interpersonal relations. So I tried to be really fun around my friends, I tried to be authentic, authentic, I guess this is even the best way to describe me. Because if, if I'm not trying to be myself, then what's the point of being friends with me? Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 2:47 I love what you're saying. And I agree, we live in a world where happiness is so rare and fun, is so precious, that creating more of it in this world is absolutely essential and fantastic. Well, some people might say, I'm a boring person, my authenticity is not to be fun. So what is your recommendation for them to be more fun? How do you do it? While still being authentic? Anastasiia Kuzmuk 3:17 That's, that's a tough question. The thing is, you don't really have to do anything to be yourself. Just let go of all of the, of everything that the society wants you to do. Just let go of all of those expectations that people have. You don't have to be something specific. You don't have to be someone specific. You are you and you are unique in the way you are. So when it talking to others when, when it comes to interpersonal communication, just relax. That's that's all that I can say. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 3:56 I love that I hear your psychologist side speaking. Are you as well an empath because you spoke about that being draining? Can you feel when people are pretending when their energy is negative? Or energy vampires and all that stuff? Anastasiia Kuzmuk 4:13 Yeah. I guess you can't even study psychology. If you're not an empath, you have to be open to all of the energies that people radiate. And, yeah, ever since I was a child, I could feel if the person is lying, for instance, or if the person is sincere. And I'd say that I I've always felt the real, honest motives, in terms of interacting with me. Those who take your energy, the so called energetic vampires, I'd say they're everywhere. This was something that I discovered this year when I realized how many of those are out there in the world and you have to be really careful because In the end of the day, you have to value the energy you have. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 5:04 I like it. I grew up as an empath, and most of my life, I felt people's negative energy. And I often as a kid thought, oh my god, what am I doing to cause it? Is it my fault, etc. But then, over time, both through meditation and being able to let go and flow with life, you just understand that it's not your energy, and that some people actually are addicted to their state. Whereas some people can be addicted to happiness, which is wonderful, I load that. And some people can be addicted to negativity, and no matter how much you try to console them, unless, unless they reach a point of really being fed up with their situation, they won't change and look for confirmation that everything is bad, and everything is horrible. You spoke about people, and you're an empath. Do you find it easy to open up to strangers and new people? And you're like their new best friend from the very first second? Or are you a girl who's shy at first, or like a bitch face so seems so serious at first, then you need time, and observation and trust, to begin to open up to any new person. Anastasiia Kuzmuk 6:18 This is the thing why I love psychology, despite the fact that most people perceive me as a very serious one. People think that I'm very cold. This is the way I look alike might say. But in reality, I'm so different from that. And I remember myself as a kid, I've always wanted to have so many friends because I am a friendly person, and I'm ready to share my love for people with all of them. And I was, you know, opening. So quickly. I was like, trying to be such a good friend, I was trying to give the all that I have to all of them. But in the end, I ended up getting hurt. And I tried to I tried not to be as open, especially when it comes to making new friends. And this is something that I'm still working on. Because I it's difficult for me to accept the fact that some people just really want to hurt you because they have some specific perception of you. And in order not to get hurt. I try not to open up quickly. Yeah, just because I do not intend to hurt people, it is difficult for me to accept the fact that well, not everyone is like me. So I tried to work hard and that Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 7:45 I think you I can understand where you're coming from. And it seems to me that the best people get hurt. But I'll give you my own perspective, which evolved over time. And let me know your thoughts about it. I believe, you know, at first I thought yes, we should make all kinds of friends. But then I understood that in reality in this world, there are 8 billion people, our role is to curate and create a mini universe of our people who are kind who will not hurt us who are open. And therefore if we're closed, there will never discover our truth. Because, you know, if you're close, you're not really showing your true self and the people who will hurt you, I take it as them disqualifying themselves from the right to belong in your universe. And therefore to me, I find that to be open at first and allow the vulnerability of being heard is the same that they say about love. Unless you open yourself to be heartbroken, you can never truly love for Lee or find real love because any resistance or distancing from the full experience will not really allow you to both experience it fully and find the right people who will not hurt you. So to me, I find that as we're in a path of life of collecting, like the pokemons are right people and most people will do something that let me know, okay, that person is not my person, whatever they did, for whatever reason, I won't take that as hurt. It's just the price I pay for finding the right people for myself by being open from the beginning. What's your perspective on this? Anastasiia Kuzmuk 9:32 Yeah, I totally agree with you. And I really like the metaphor of the personal universe. You know, experience in my perspective is when your expectations do not happen to be real. When something goes not the way you've planned it. I find it really interesting. I try to have that philosophical state of mind when it comes to different events that happen In my life, and for example, when I got heartbroken, or when some of my friends turned out to be not the real friend, I tried to think of it as an experience, and I tried to think of why it happened to me, and what lesson this is all about. And coming back to what you've been talking about, yeah, I totally agree about the fact that you have to create your sort of personal universe. And, for me, like, it took me some time to realize that I am able to control the distance that I have with people. And this way, I am able to control who I let hurt me, or who I like to be close to me, who I let learn me as a person. And I think this is this is something that not everyone understands. But in fact, it's such a basic thing. And when I said that, I get to choose who I let to hurt me. By that I mean, that will pain is is something that is unavoidable. But at the same time, it's it's very important, and we grow through pain. So it's vital. And it's impossible to live without being hurt. But you obviously can choose the person who you're like, sort of okay with hurting you, I hope you get me, I hope you get what I'm saying. It's obvious that you can choose if you want to open up to a stranger. And if, if you're like ready to be hurt, you know, I'm on a more serious scale. But I hope nobody's like, really going to do that. That's an Aggie shouldn't do that. You should be careful, and you should keep the distance with strangers. But if you like get to know someone, it's obvious that at a certain point of your communication, something might happen, and you might be hurt. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 12:18 Thank you. Yes, I do get your point. I understand that for Lee. And I think my perspective has evolved and changed when I learned about something more metaphysical. Whether it's true or not. It's a nice perspective. It's called like the soul family, where supposedly, before we were born, we met all the souls that will meet in our lives, and we agreed with them, some will hurt us so that we get some lessons to learn some will add positive lessons, and that what we're living now is something we agreed to. And therefore that pain is simply the understanding that life is teaching you what you need in order to evolve to the next level. And therefore I see life as happening for me, rather than happening to me, and therefore I welcome the pain and I open myself to even strangers. And I accept that actually, whatever happens it's always a lesson because I find that people who have been through a lot of pain, struggle and loss become so wise and interesting, while those who keep themselves only like, protected and in their comfort zone. Somehow they end up more naive. And I have done another question to you. Have you ever had the experience of meeting a person and feeling oh my god, I feel I know this person all my life, our energies vibrate and resonate in the right way. This person I feel I know them for 1000s of years or something like a previous reincarnation, and therefore you're open to them from the very first second, or is it guaranteed that as long as someone new is dealing with you for a bit of time, you're closed off until you trust enough no matter what and that this talk about chemistry and instant connection is not something you've experienced. Anastasiia Kuzmuk 14:18 I love where this conversation is going. First of all, I I share your opinion about the theory that souls I've met before being like incarnated I'm very much into this like spiritual stuff and very much into as etheric. And I totally agree with you. That's that's what it seems to be like and when you when you you know, analyze this information, it just makes it so much easier, like life seems so much easier because you know, like you've you've agreed to that and you have to go through that which means that you'll be able to go through that too, and you'll be able to learn a lesson from that. Now regarding people, if a mat someone who have felt an instant connection with, yeah, that has happened to me once, it happened to me, like, three years ago, I guess I met up with a girl. And like, I felt as if I've known her for years, like we were so similar in so many aspects. And the communication was so easy. And it was when I opened up immediately to her, and so that she, and she had the feeling that she's known me for, for, like, more than a decade. Now. She She also had that feeling. And yeah, like we were really close. But that's the thing about people who you have that feeling about the you you feel you've met before, relationships with them, no matter whether they are like, platonic, no matter whether they are romantic, no matter whether they are purely friendly, you tend to have like short term relationships with them. So we stopped being so close, like two years after we met, but we still do keep in touch from time to time, Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 16:20 thank you. And I'm curious even more about such people, because those should be the people we populate our mini universe with. And you said in your experience, it was one, it's not statistically significant, because some people can meet two, three in their lifetime, such people that they keep in touch with forever, et cetera, it could be evolutionarily that when you met, you were at the same level of consciousness. And then people grew apart, and therefore, she's not any longer that specific person who you resonated with, and therefore it was time to go separately, but it means you're evolved, and there are other people who will be like, play that role in your life. But to understand you even more, are those people are people because they share similar ideas, perspectives as us? Or is it even more energetic in the way that even before they open their mouth and say the first word, you just feel it's right, and that this person will become someone important in your life? And therefore, you know, is Oh, directly? What is that energy? What is energy? Since you feel energy vampires, and you're an empath, do you feel people are walking around like a sonar, sending signals about their energy so that the right people will pick up on it, and they'll meet and it will be like, they belong in each other's lives, or energy is just something that begins with our traumas and negativity. And as we evolve, we purify it like in Buddhism, and therefore energy is just a signal of your level of evolution of life, or is it just like the divine energy running through us? What is your thought on it? Anastasiia Kuzmuk 18:10 That's an interesting question. It really made me think about it. I feel like the energy, in my perspective, is, it's really hard to be explained. Since you can't really see it. You can only sense it. If you're obviously like, if you're open to it, to this information, if you like open to spiritual stuff. But I feel like it's a combination of both of what you've mentioned. It's, sometimes you feel the divine energy, as you've called it. And you people who radiate that divine energy. Well, I feel like they are working so hard on it, because well, everyone's gone through thrombus everyone's got traumatized. Everyone's got some, some level of negativity. But you have to work hard on on it, not to let it to spread. You have to, you have to, you don't have to suppress it, but you have to work hard to heal yourself. I feel like this is this is something that will take time for me to discover what exactly this energies Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 19:38 Thank you. And yes, I agree with you. I have the firm belief that our deepest purpose in life is we're born with some traumas or karmic, like samskaras, as the Buddhists call them, and our role in life is to purify them through both kindness and helping other people All, which also affects our psyche, as well as learning to let go to flow with life, do not try to control everything so much because things, you know, happen exactly the way they're supposed to be. And the more we get in touch with that sense, that is the true essence of love. Because love is loving things as they are not trying to change them or as you wish them to be. And therefore, the more we grow into love, as we grow through the years, the more we heal our traumas, and therefore, we become enlightened in that sense that we become filled with the energy of light. But that sounds too esoteric. I'll ask you this specifically, why political science, it seems the opposite of this whole conversation. Like it's very pragmatic. It's very real politic. It's very, you know, in that sense, so what is your fascination or most interesting thing that drew you to be keen on political sciences? Anastasiia Kuzmuk 21:07 Yeah, it's the complete opposite of what we've just been talking about. But despite the fact that I am a soul, I also have a body and I live in a physical world, and I can't, I can't just be working purely on my soul and, and healing, I still have to be down to earth from time to time. Why political science, because I believe that it's either you are interested in politics or politics is interested in you. Some people tend to be a political, they tend to stay away from it, they say that they are interested in it, that it's all dirty, and it's all corrupted. And it is, in fact, it is. But there are so many people who are genuinely interested in changing the world. And they're so interested in, in eliminating that corruption, and the dirt that everyone's talking about. And I do understand that it's impossible to implement those like, you know, utopian views in real life, because the world cannot be perfect. But we can still thrive to eat, to make it perfect, and to be perfect in this world. So yeah, Politics does affect our life. And it affects economy, it affects the prices, it affects the trends that are going on in the world. And I don't really like what is going on in the world. And I want to meet new people who are interested in changing the world who share the same views as I do. And who I can work with in the future. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 23:06 Thank you. And I will play the devil's advocate a little bit, because yes, I wish I could be only Athol working on my other things. But I understand it's not reality, I will tell you this. Some people look for political leaders for so many things, for wisdom for guidance for good decision making, etc. But there are a lot of critics who say, people who have political power, their only skill is the ability to amass more power and to play political games in order to get higher rank. And they have no other skills. They're not smarter, they have no idea about the economy. They don't know much about what to do. They're just good, that looking cool, seem unwise, and making alliances that help them. Do you agree with this? What's your perspective, that politicians are mostly, in many ways, just good at politics and not good at anything else? Anastasiia Kuzmuk 24:13 I partly agree with you. There are some people who go to politics, because they want to be popular because the wants to earn much money because they're not really interested in changing something, either in the country where they will or like all around the world if we're talking about something International. And yeah, I do agree. Some are in politics, especially when it comes to, you know, to countries to the governments of countries. Some just basically take, take some space in there and do nothing. They just seem to be cool and wise and they act as if they know everything about what they're doing. They basically are thinking what they are doing. Instead, instead of just, you know, doing something that they are actually good at. But there are some people who are interested, there are some people who are into politics, there are some people who want to change the world, but on your path to politics, you have to work hard on yourself. Because you don't want to lose yourself, you don't want to lose that idea that motivated you to go into politics. You don't want to become like everyone else who's corrupt, and who's in politics just to gain personal fame. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 25:46 I like that. And what's funny is, while those people might be busy creating great projects, the other ones are busy creating alliances through all, therefore is somehow unfair. But let's speak about something very concrete related to politics, etc, but also to your life. How was February 24, for you? What is the story of that day of the first day of invasion? How did you hear about it? How did you feel where were you what happened? Tell me everything. Anastasiia Kuzmuk 26:22 Okay. I'll probably start from not from February 24. But from like, a fortnight before, February 24. There are always like political talks in my family, everyone's into it as well, just like I am, everyone's always discussing it. And it's obvious that there were so many talks about the possible Russian invasion of Ukraine. This, this was like the top topic for discussion. And I was I was genuinely scared that this would happen. And in fact, I didn't know, I didn't know what to do, if that would happen. And I was talking to so many people who are good at political science, I was wondering if there's a real possibility of this happening. And everyone would say that this, this would not happen. Because in in March 2021, there were so many of Russian troops locating near the Ukrainian border, but they didn't invade us. And everyone was like, this is going to be the same thing as it was the year before. Plus, I was not sure that Russians wouldn't invade Ukraine, because the Europe, the US and all of the political leaders who weren't put in that if he decides to do that, there will be so many sanctions adopted, and it will basically ruin the Russian economy. Will they they have won him that they will do something, they will do something very, very serious. So I thought that it would sort of stop him. And I remember very vividly the 21st, or the 22nd of February, it was the day when put in, addressed Russians saying that, he now decides to recognize the so called LDPR. And I was I was kind of stressed back then, because I was watching his video of him talking about it. him saying that it's Mr. Lennon, who created Ukraine, which is so it's fucking bullshit. He didn't create Ukraine. Ukraine emerged as a as a state long before Russia did. So yeah, I could I could talk for so long about Ukrainian history. And I was kind of stressed about it. But then I thought that well, it might mean that if he does recognize the LDPR, it means that we are out of the Minsk document if you know what, what what it is. It's like a document that states that Russia does not recognize the so called LDPR. And Ukraine had to agree to some points that were stated in the document, but they were not really good for us. So like it was a win for us somehow. Because we didn't have to do everything that was stated in the document. Yeah. And the next day, which was the day before the invasion, I was super calm about it. I was like, No, it's definitely not going to happen. Everything's going to be all right. I'm going to continue living through the life that I used to live. And I remember that I was talking to my friend over the phone, and she told me that her friend is at the police and he told her that the rest So many Russian troops located near Chernobyl. And I remember the message that I've sent her saying that well, they're not idiots to go through it's renewable was radiation. And I was like, Alright, have a good night, we have to rest before tomorrow. And then I wake up at like 5am. And I woke up, not because I hurt someone like shooting, not because I hurt the explosions, but because I hurt my family walking around the house, and I was about to go back to sleep. But then I saw so many notifications on my phone. And I checked the telegram channels that I was, like reading through the news one, and they were all stating that it has started. And it was the feeling of I was so lost. You know, I didn't I didn't know what to do. I remember that I called my boyfriend. That that was the first thing that I did. I called my boyfriend. He didn't hear anything. He was like, Yeah, okay. So the war has started, okay, I'll talk to you later, I'm going to do some stuff. To prepare for any further actions. And I went downstairs, I met up with my family. Everyone's everyone was like, informed about it. And I, I talk to them, then I immediately went back to my plate to my room, and I packed some stuff into the suitcase, the so called emergency suitcase. But I didn't plan to leave Ukraine back then. And yeah, the rest of the day, we've we've spent it downstairs, hiding because we didn't know if they would bombard us or if the if they were to strike some missiles. And it was like that for the next like, week. The day when when a missile fell right near my place. And it was so fucking scary, because you like I was I was preparing to go to bed, I would wake up in the middle of the night a few times. And I would just scroll through news. And I wanted to have some rest. Because you know, it's really, really stressful, stressful. And even like in situations like that, you still have to take care of yourself, you have to drink water, you have to eat food, although you have nowhere to do that. But you have to because you have to survive and that. And then they hear that explosion, and they hit a oil depot. And you can imagine the fire. And I was so fucking scared back then because like, my little brother was with me. He was asleep. And luckily, he didn't hear anything. But when the wall approaches you, and when it is so close to you, it just immediately got lost. And like you don't know what to do. It also comes with breakdowns. It comes with euphoria from time to time, especially when you hear that, like your troops have managed to fight off the enemy troops. But at the same time, it's so stressful. And I try to come back like I try to recall my thoughts back then. And I realized that although subconsciously I must have thought about dying, I must have thought about what it would be like and if they would come to my house. I never really let that thought of Russians winning this war. Imagine I had Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 33:59 thank you yes, I can feel your emotions and how hard and traumatic that experience was and how much you feared for your little brother and for yourself and for your family. And all I can say is love okra uni. You know I'm Slava. Thank you, Anastasia. This was my privilege, my honor, such a wonderful conversation. And I wish you a happy day. Anastasiia Kuzmuk 34:28 Have a nice day too. It was so interesting to talk to you. And I'm looking forward to hearing this episode. Thank you