E098 Anna Tkach

Femininity is powerful in all its forms, exceptional women, rare girls must be appreciated in every way for their perspectives, actions, thoughts, and their unique ways of being. Rare girls are inspiring and this is what this podcast is all about. Hello, my name is Aziz and my guest today is Anna Koch. Anna is a Bachelor of Marketing student at Kyiv Mohyla Academy in Ukraine. She loves styling people and doing photography. Anna is an experienced gymnast with 10 years of gymnastics practice and she speaks four languages at a competent level including English and German. Anna, how are you today? Hi, I'm fine. And what about you? I'm feeling positive, I'm feeling good, and very curious about you because I want to know you as a person so I'll begin with this. If your friends could describe your personality or the people who know you well, what would they say about you? I'd say that they must think that I'm quite optimistic and I love reading books and spending my time at home, but also I can go for like long walks, so that's all maybe, yeah? I love that and I'll begin with books. What do you find in books that is so interesting and fascinating for you? I mostly read a kind of psychology because I love to know what people think, why do they do any actions they do, and so yeah. I think the most fascinating is the fact that after reading the book I can explain more and more and it gives me like positive emotions and yeah. I like that. So you love reading psychology books and the more you learn about psychology, the more you can understand why people do what they do and therefore you feel good and it's an enjoyable feeling. Is this correct? Yep. That makes me think because if you need this, does it mean that when you were growing up you were somehow confused how people are acting, why they do it, people seemed crazy to you and that was the way or is it more about understanding yourself first and people second? I'd say that it's more about me because I was quite a harsh person some years ago and now I can see why have I done anything and why other people are doing other things. So first me, then... Thank you. What lesson or understanding changed you from being a harsh person into a more mild or maybe polite or considerate human being? What did you understand? Did you see something like shock or sadness because of something you said to someone or how and why you evolved in this way? I was in quite an abusing relationship and I changed a lot during that. So now I just can say that it wasn't good but it changed me for good, for better. I realized that I had anger issues and it was quite hard for me to stay calm, to keep silence or something when someone is telling something I don't like. And now it's better, I can handle myself, I can relive and yeah. Thank you. Since you mentioned an abusive relationship, just to make sure, is that like a love or romantic relationship or was it like bullying or something like that? I wouldn't say it was love, I would say that yeah, it was a romantic relationship. Thank you and I'm really curious about something and I would like to ask. Yesterday I saw like a TikTok or whatever it is, like a short video where there was this girl and she said, I don't like nice and kind guys, they're very boring. I want a guy who's rude to me, I mean I want him to show me his mean side at least in the beginning exciting phase, maybe later he can become supportive and nice. Do you understand this? Was it part of the fascination and attraction a little bit the fact that he was not so nice or were you hoping that you could change him or that it came later at first it was really good and then later the abuse started or can you explain this to me because many guys and even women themselves don't understand why this happens, but it seems to be an attraction to bad guys. Oh, this is all about adrenaline I think, because people keep on being fascinated. It's like you know this phrase, butterflies in the stomach, that's not a good feeling, that shouldn't be a good feeling, because if you have butterflies that means that you're nervous. When you're nervous you feel emotions and that makes you fascinating at first, but when it continues in like a year then it's not good, that shouldn't be like that. You should feel comfort and I don't know even how to explain, you should feel that it's your person, you shouldn't feel that the person makes you nervous, that makes you think about your actions. No, you should just relax near the partner of your life. So I think what she meant is that she wants, maybe it's not in just, maybe she just really wants that, so I know these preferences, but I really don't like that. My partner was, my ex-partner was first really nice and kind, but then when it all started he was rude and like yeah, I didn't, I really didn't like it, so it's not about, it's not about my preferences, okay? Thank you. And you mentioned in the beginning that your friends will say you're an optimistic person. Is this a new attitude that you have or even before when you had anger issues, et cetera, you had always like optimistic vibes? No, it's definitely new because now I can see that not everything is so bad, like it depends, but most of my actions I think that everything will be good. As my father once said to me, that if I say that everything will be good, then everything will be good. If I say not, then everything won't. So yeah. Thank you. And to understand you further, you're studying marketing, yet you have a lot of interest in languages. Why didn't you choose theology and what made you decide to begin your marketing as a topic of study? I don't really know because I love marketing. I love the things that I can recommend something to someone, so I just, I don't really know why. That's just my choice. I'm really interested in languages, but I wouldn't want it as my job. So first of all, I would like to study something I can make money from in the future. Thank you. And you mentioned that you can stay at home, it's comfortable for you. Most people will think, oh my God, if I stay home, it will be so boring. What keeps you interested when you're at home? Is it books or maybe because of the pandemic you got used to the quarantine and staying at home? Or how would you explain it to someone who's maybe more extroverted that will think, oh my God, if I'm not out and around people, I feel like so bored and it's like a prison. So how would you explain your enjoyment of being at home? I wouldn't say that I am an introvert. I like, you know, there are introverts, extroverts, and the middle of that is ambivert. So I am the ambivert. And I would say that I just have a lot of work at home. And when I finish it, like work, I mean studies, and also I have a job. So yeah. And when you finish everything that you have done, that you must do during the day, you just don't want to do anything else. I just like staying at home because if I go anywhere, I would be really, really tired. But now I changed a little bit because now I have less to do than it was like a month ago. And I can, for example, I can't stay at home more than like three days because otherwise I'll get bored. So yeah, I would say that I just, I'm just tired. That's why I'm staying at home. And if I'm not tired, then I'll go out and no problems. Thank you. And how do you avoid burning out when you're doing so many things that you're tired at the end of the day? I'm not sure if I can give one answer because I do, maybe that's why I do like a lot of different things. I can like, in one day, I can do like cleaning and then my job and then my studies and then one more time, anything else, just like housework. And then I'm not, I'm not burning out because I have a lot of different things to do. And now I'm just really interested in my study. So I am interested in doing that. And I love that. I just, I really, I just love it. So I can relax while doing it. I like how much you love your studies and I'll ask you about the Kiev Mohyla Academy, which is very famous in Ukraine as the Harvard of Ukraine. Why did you choose this university? What is the story of that? Tell me the whole like perception, was it your dream to go there since some point in your life or what is your connection to the Kiev Mohyla Academy? First of all, yeah, I think that's the most, like the best university in Ukraine. So first of all, yeah, that's really nice is there are a lot of, I love the program here and I love how people are talking like about students, how teachers treat students. They just think about me as about a colleague, not about some student, no, about a colleague. They help us. And so yeah, when I was choosing the university, I just really have no, had no choice. I just really know that I want to study in Kiev Mohyla Academy and I will study there because that's my dream. How can I not study there? I love that. And to ask you about your connection with people, have you ever had the experience of meeting someone new and feeling chemistry with them, feeling like you know them all your life, comfortable and open to them from the first moment? Or are you someone who needs more times, more meetings, more conversations before you decide if someone is your person or not? I would say that I have first to talk about things that are important to me with this person. I have to know what this person thinks, like there are now a lot of things. I wouldn't agree with many of my, for example, ex-classmates about and I first need to get known with this person because I can trust that everyone thinks like I. That's hard to me, that's quite hard to me. Maybe that's my issue, but I would like to acknowledge what the person is and then be like best friends. Thank you. That's so interesting. Do you feel this ability or need or requirement for you to get to know people first, to trust their words before you trust them as a person and become friends is something you always had or is it after the relationship you had that you decided from now on I have to make sure every person is authentic before I trust them at all? It might be both. I wasn't so like that before my relationship, but now I'm like getting used to acknowledging people before making friends with them. So maybe it's both, I was like that before, but not so much. Thank you. And there is some kind of typical look that many Eastern European girls have. Some say it's a poker face or a bitch face where even if you're in a normal mood you can look angry or sad. Do you have that? Have you had people who didn't know you who thought, oh my God, this girl looks so angry or snob or something, but in reality you can be friendly, it's just the face looks like that. Oh, that's not about me, but that's about my best friend. She's tall, very beautiful and her face is just like you said, this poker face. All the time when she's relaxed, she's relaxed and it's funny, but she is the most sunny and nice and cute person I know. But sometimes when I look at her, I think, oh my God, what have I done wrong? I know that's not her angry face, but it's sometimes scary. Thank you. And I have to really know your experience during the invasion, February 24th. How was that day for you? How did you hear about the bombings and the invasion? Did you believe it at first? Did you not believe it? How did you feel that day? And how did you change as a person in these seven or eight months of the attack? I would say that first I didn't believe that. I was sleeping. I woke up in like 5 a.m. because I've heard bombing and it was quite hard for me to realize that what shall I do after that? Would I die? That's now quite hard to explain because what I was feeling that's devastation and anger because this is my country and they are coming and doing such things. Why? I don't really understand why this huge country, I would say. Is it not enough for them to have like this territory they have now? I understand why. Why is it happening? Because like that's an empire and they shall remain like huge and strong and yeah. But when I first realized what is happening, I was like crying half a day at least. And then I didn't feel anything like for about a month because I was scared but I didn't feel that. I was just sitting and okay, one more time. So yeah. Thank you. And millions of Ukrainians chose to evacuate, to leave the country, to go to other parts of Europe to be more safe. Why was the decision for you to... Which decision did you make? Why? What happened in that way? We stayed in Ukraine but we moved to my grandmother's home in Vinnytsia. And it wasn't like better in here but okay, definitely better than in Kiev. What I shall say, I'm not against people who are leaving Ukraine because that's their choice. They want to feel safe, they want their children to feel safe and that's okay, that's normal. But I wouldn't really want to leave Ukraine because that's the place I live in, that's the place I love. So after like two months sitting in my grandmother's house, we came back to Kiev and stayed here for the rest of the time and I'm still here. Thank you. And I'm really curious to know you even more. Nowadays you said you're working, you're studying, you have things to do. Your study in marketing, what would be your dream job? Would you be like a marketing and branding person for the country of Ukraine, sharing the culture and the brand of Ukraine with the world? Would you like to work in a multinational with people from all cultures or what would be an ideal profession for you that keeps you always interested, excited and never bored? I would say that I'd love to have my own business, that's like the dream of my life. When I was a child, I really wanted to have my own cafe and now I still want it. Not that much that before, because now I understand that from the economical part it's not the thing I would like to earn from, but it's still a dream. So maybe I will own a small cafe in the future. And I would like to work with international companies, maybe that won't be only in Ukraine. Maybe I will do something from the whole world, I don't know, but that's only a dream. Still I can say for real what I want. Thank you. And to understand you as a Ukrainian girl, what is the culture of a young Ukrainian girl in 2022? Are you a mix of many cultures, you're Ukrainian and also because of Hollywood a little bit American and because of K-pop a little bit Korean and anime makes you somehow a mix with Japanese and therefore you're a mix of different cultures or you feel yourself like more Ukrainian than anything and therefore what is a Ukrainian girl if you could describe that? That's quite an interesting question because I wouldn't say that I feel that I am not only Ukrainian, but okay, the most I feel that I belong to this land, I belong to this country, I'm definitely Ukrainian, but also I really like, for example, Germany, I just really like it. I was there like, I don't know, six times, seven, I'm not sure. And I really like everything about this country, so maybe I feel myself a little bit, so yeah. But also when I was younger, I loved K-pop, but I wouldn't say that I am into that still, so yeah. Thank you so much, Anna. This was my privilege, my honor, such a great conversation to feel your soul and hear about your life and story, and all I can say is Slava Ukrainyi. I heard all of your Slava.