Episode Transcript
Femininity is powerful in all its forms, exceptional women, rare girls must be appreciated in every
way for their perspectives, actions, thoughts, and their unique ways of being.
Rare girls are inspiring and this is what this podcast is all about.
Hello, my name is Aziz and my guest today is Anastasia Kharshenko.
Anna was born and raised in Kyiv. She finished her bachelor's degree in the
Kyiv Mohyla Academy studying management and business administration.
During the pandemic, she applied and was accepted for the work and travel program
to the United States, which was a rare achievement at those times.
And she spent three months in the U.S. working as a hostess in Ocean City, Maryland.
During the war in Ukraine, she evacuated and lived in Ireland for six months.
Also, she has applied to different grants and spent one month as an exchange student
in Juvaskola University of Applied Sciences in Finland, where she was studying business
and psychology. Afterwards, she was invited for a summer
program in Bocconi University in Milano, Italy. Anna attended music school and singing is one
of her hobbies. Anna, how are you today?
Hello, I'm great. Thank you. You?
I'm feeling positive. I'm feeling optimistic. I'm feeling curious about you.
And so I'll begin with this question. If your friends could describe your personality,
what would they say about you?
Well, if talking about my friends, they would always call me a real Scorpio person with
a Scorpio vibe, the person who has the black sense of humor, like everybody Scorpio is.
And I think with my close friends, I'm very friendly. And also, I think they would describe
me as an ambitious person and maybe as a funny person who would always...
Thank you. And this makes me curious to know, what is your belief about astrology?
Well, actually, I was kind of kidding about this Scorpio things, but most of my friends
really describes me as a real Scorpio. Personally, me, I don't believe in the astrology things.
I find this just funny topic to talk about, but not something serious, actually. Although
sometimes when I'm bored or I just don't know what to do, sometimes I can watch some videos
about astrology, about the moon, about the moon calendar as well, just to plan my month,
my week, just to understand what should I do in this situation, what should I do in
that situation. Sometimes I just find some things helpful for me when I'm confused or
puzzled and such things can help to figure some problems out in my head.
That's really interesting. And it gives me a lot of questions to ask, but I'll begin
with this one, which is fascinating to me. When you went to Ireland or even Italy, did
you have that kind of stereotypical bitch face that many Eastern European girls are
known to have where many people were thinking, oh my God, why is this girl so angry all the
time? She looks so serious. Or did you try to smile more? Maybe in the US, you notice
people are always so smiley and friendly, and so it changed everything.
Well, this is quite an interesting question because actually you are right. When I went
to the US, this was my first trip by my own. I was without my parents, without my friends.
I was surrounded by Americans and Americans is this kind of a nation which would always
smile, make love. They are always smiling. And yes, when I was working in the cafe, I
was always asked by my employer to smile, to say some kind words. Although I didn't
supposed to be, I didn't want to be angry with anybody. This is just my normal face.
And yes, I also experienced this problem because I was just trying to be, to have that kind
of the behavior I'm having in the Ukraine, for example, when I'm at home, because it's
okay in my country and in other Eastern countries as well to not smile every time. So yes, people
found it a little bit maybe rude or cruel, but for me and for my people, that's normal
thing. So I had to switch sometimes to, I was trying to behave as those people who were
surround me at that time, just not to be rude for them.
I understand and it's very interesting because it helps you expand and develop different
kinds and parts of your personality when you travel and live in different places. And so
to ask you, what inspires you in this world? What do you do, whether in Ukraine, Ireland,
or any other place that really gives you that good vibes, good energy and makes you have
more feeling of fulfillment?
Well, this is a hard question, but I would say that this strong energy and the ability
to be a strong person, to be motivated and inspired, I think that, I think I have obtained
such skills from my family because my family, especially my parents, they are quite inspiring
and they are always motivating since my very childhood. So I think they were trying to
raise me as a person who would always try to do the best to achieve something in this
life and try to be optimistic. I think I got such things from my parents. Well, and also
I can say that I have good friends who are always motivating me sometimes and they also
inspire me for some achievements or accomplishments as well. And well, and also I think traveling
is some sort of inspiration for me as well.
I like that you're a kind of person who contains a multitude and a lot of things like that.
When you said it's difficult, do you notice or did you notice that your personality in
Ireland, in Italy or in the U.S. somehow is different because you were in a different
environment compared to Ukraine? Or did you feel like totally the same person with the
same behaviors like you mentioned, only you needed to smile more and say more kind words?
Yes, every time I would go anywhere in Europe or for example, when I was in the U.S. I was
feeling myself a little bit different person from those people who were surrounding me
at that time because although I'm only 21, I'm feeling quite mature for my age. I think
this thing, I think this thing is familiar to many Ukrainians and to my Ukrainian friends
as well because although I'm young, but I need to, I have faced with many problems and
obstacles in my life already as all the Ukrainian did. So when I was hanging out, for example,
with my friends who were the same age as me, I was still feeling myself more mature than
they were. For example, I already had one job at that time. I was studying in two universities
and I was also experiencing the traveling because of the war. So I had many problems
at the time and those people who were from different countries, they were just enjoying
their life and they didn't need to care about anything in their life. Well, so that's why
there is a huge gap, the mental gap sometimes, the difference between Ukrainian nation and
for example, European nation because I think people from Western Europe, they don't need
to care about some global things, where to find the money, how to afford their things,
where to find a job, where to find the new accommodation in case of the war. And I had
to face with all these questions at that time. So yes.
Thank you. That's so interesting. And yes, challenges, problems and facing bigger questions
make you mature, which makes me think about how do you relate to people? And first, I
will ask this, when you met new people abroad, did you have any experience where you felt
total chemistry with someone new where you felt, oh my God, I know this person almost
like for a few minutes, but almost like all my life, I feel so comfortable, they're my
person? Or do you always need time observation, multiple meetings before you know if someone
is your person? And therefore, what would be characteristics of someone that make them
your kind of people?
Well, I must say that I, in Ukraine, for example, I have lots of friends, most of them, we've
been friends since the school time. So almost from the very childhood. But now, the older
we are, I think it's more challenging to find really close friends, a really close company.
And yes, sometimes I need the time to make some observations to I don't know how to say
this. But yes, and I think now I need sometimes just to make some analysis in my head to make
some observations, just to understand is, is this person can become a really good friend
for me or not. But for example, when I was in Finland, I had really good neighbors in
my in my accommodation. And I really liked them from the very first second because they
were looking so sincere and I say like honest and genuine. They were also like 20 or 22
years old as I am. But we become really close and good friends really fast because they
were very, very honest with me. I, I was quite sure that these people. Well, they would never
have to say this. They will never cause me any problems. But in most cases, yes, I need
some time just to understand if this person can become my friend or not.
Thank you. I understand what you mean, especially like you said all your life, you had friendships
that lasted for almost 20 years. So it's a different skill to make new friends. And since
you spoke about the war, et cetera, how was that day for you? February 24th when the bigger
invasion was announced, how did you hear the news? How did you feel? How did your family
react? How did that opportunity to go to Ireland come? Tell me the story, especially the emotions
of that day. And how did you believe it? Did you not believe it? What happened?
That's a good question. I think the February 24th has become the worst day for almost every
Ukrainian for sure. I don't remember that day so good because I think everything was
blurred. I was very confused for the whole day, actually for the whole week, for the
very first week. And I was so puzzled. I was just checking the news every time. And my
house is located just right near the airport, which is supposed to be the strategic location.
So that's why my family, we've moved to the country house first. We've been living with
the grandparents. We've been together for the very two weeks. And personally me, although
it was happening in my city, it was happening with my people and with my country. Firstly,
I couldn't believe that it's happening in real life. I thought this is just kind of,
I don't know, a joke. And the only thing I was caring about at that time that my apartments
at my house could be bombed. And I remember myself, I was checking the news like every
minute. I was checking the news every second for the first seven days. And fortunately,
I was with my family all the time. We were hiding in the country house. So I didn't hear
any bombs and I've never been to the bombshell, thanks God. But then the things were becoming
worse and worse. And my dad, he literally forced us, like me, my mother and me, to leave Ukraine,
to go abroad. And that's how we've moved to Ireland. The reason we've chosen Ireland
was like, we didn't want to learn a new language. And we all know a new English. And that's
why we decided to move to Ireland at that time. And also, I've read that Ukrainians
don't need the visa to go to Ireland. And we had the car, we were traveling by car from
Ukraine to Ireland. So we could literally go anywhere we wanted. And also, I was informed
that they also can provide a good education for Ukrainians, a good financial help as well,
and other social needs. And this is how we went to Ireland. Then I found the house family
on the special website for Ukrainian refugees. And this is how the story began. And yes,
we've been living in Ireland with my mother and sister for almost six months, as I say.
And it was quite a big chapter in my life that I would never forget. And I'm so grateful.
And I would be always grateful to Irish government, to Irish people. I have so many stories to
be told, how people were helping us during all this long trip. But fortunately now, I've
come back home. And right now, I'm talking with you in my own room, on my own bed. Thanks
to Ukrainian armies, thanks to Ukrainian people. Because at the very first week when I left
Ukraine, I was quite sure that I would never see my family, my friends, my dog, my apartments,
never, never again in my life. So now I appreciate life even more.
Thank you. That sounds really emotional and traumatic. And I'm really glad. The whole
world is aiming and was aiming and many countries in Europe to help Ukrainians in these times
of need. And you said it changed you as a person. How did the war, these whole seven
months change you as Anna? How was Anna before February 24th? And how are you different in
your personality, in the way you think, in your approach today?
Well, yes, I think war has changed every Ukrainian. And we will never have that kind of a life
which we used to have before February 24th. But personally for me, well, when I was at
school or when I was small and I was reading books about history books, I mean about war,
or my great-grandmother was telling me about the war times, I thought that the war is the
worst thing which can ever happen to every person. And I was so happy to live in the
peaceful times. So I have to say this, I didn't appreciate my life because I've never faced
with a war, but I think this year it has made me so stressful. And now I'm quite sure that
I can face with every challenge in my life. There is no things which I won't figure out,
you know, because when you have no accommodation, when you have no family, when you have no
job, I don't know, no salary, it seems that the life is over, but it's not. You can figure
out everything in this world actually. And this is what I've realized during the last
seven months is that I can do everything. I can find any answer for any question in
my life. And although I'm only 21, I know that I can travel by myself, I can find the
accommodation for my family, for myself, I can find the scholarship, I can find the
education for me, I can find money if it's needed, I can find a new job as well. So I
think I've become stronger and stressful, more stressful for sure as every Ukrainian.
Thank you. And since you mentioned every Ukrainian was deeply changed by this war, some social
experts as well as psychologists say that this trauma will stay with Ukrainians for
multiple generations, that a lot of Ukrainians will be more negative about the future, having
less hope and ambition because of this trauma and the effects of the war. Do you believe
that is true? Or a lot more will be similar to you where they believe they can do anything,
everything is possible in their future, and that they can figure out a way to create any
life they wish to do? Well, this is quite an interesting question. Firstly, the thing
I wanted to tell you that during my long trip across the Europe, I realized that I really
want to go back to Ukraine. And I think that my nation is the strongest, the most stressful,
the most talented nation in the world. And this is actually true, because although we
were forced to face such obstacles in our life, but we are still standing. I know that
the war is not over, but we are standing and we are fighting. And we will keep fighting
as long as it's needed, actually. And I think that, yes, this war will be our trauma and
there will be many traumatized Ukrainians for the next few generations. But personally,
I've decided to go back to Ukraine because I've realized that I want to be in this country
because I love these people. I love my city and I love my country as well. And I want
to be here and I want to raise my own family, my own children here. And the main conclusion
we need to make from this war is that we need to raise our future generations and try to
change their mind and to tell them the truth, what was happening. So they will be able to
make the right conclusions in the future. What is good in this situation? What is bad
in this situation? Not in this situation, but the war. So I think since the war has
started, everything has become black and white. And I think we are facing now, I mean, Ukrainians
with the biggest historic challenge now. We need to rebuild our country. We need to rebuild
our mindset. I think there are lots of plans for Ukrainians for the next few decades, at
least. I think as every Ukrainian, I'm very motivated and inspired to change, to face
with changes, challenges, because I know that we will win.
I like that. It's very inspirational and it makes me want to ask, you chose to return
to Ukraine. You're in your room. You want to raise your family there. You believe in
your country and all Ukrainians do. At the same time, many Ukrainians, millions of them
could now have started a new life abroad, a new university, new jobs, where it becomes
somehow of an unknown because they think, well, at least I have stability here. If I
return to Ukraine, I don't know how the economy is. I don't know what's going on. So do you
think that many Ukrainians will settle abroad for multiple years or that most of them will
choose to return and rebuild the country?
You're right, actually, because when I was traveling, I've met lots of Ukrainians who
have settled in Europe already and they were telling me that they would not come back to
Ukraine even if the war is over, because yes, there is more stability and peace and calm
not in Ukraine. But personally, me, I decided to go back to Ukraine just because firstly,
I have all my family here, my friends, they are all in Ukraine, most of them. I have a
good job in Ukraine and when the war has started, I was still working all this time. Fortunately,
we have the internet, we have social medias and this is how my work is based on. So I
was quite free in this question. I was able to work anywhere from any country I could
and I have the home, my own room here and maybe it sounds really, it sounds, I think,
too optimistic. But now, right now, for example, I am living in Kyiv, this is the capital of
Ukraine and if you go to Kyiv, you would see that the streets are full, the cafes, the
restaurants, the shopping malls are full. So people are trying to live, to keep living
their life, although during, however, during the wartime. And I know that some people would
never come back to Ukraine. Some of them came from occupied territories and I understand
them because they moved because their houses were bombed, their cities were occupied. It
makes sense that, for example, my city, it was liberated from Russian forces in March
and people now, more and more people are coming back to my city every day and it's becoming
more and more vivid and this is the thing I really like. I think in the future, I want,
I don't know, I think it's impossible to make any plans, but I just want to settle down
here in Kyiv because this, this city is most, it's the most comfortable city in the world
for me personally, because firstly, I have all my people here. Fortunately, they are
all alive, they are all safe, but maybe I would like to, maybe to, to get the master
degree somewhere abroad, just to be able to travel, to stay for some time in some other
countries, but I want to settle down here in my city and to have my own family in the
future also here in Kyiv, but I think we'll see. It's impossible to make any plans. I
was trying to do that, but it's impossible, unfortunately, in this situation.
I agree 100%. Thank you so much, Anna. This was truly emotional and sharing the reality
and truth and heart and soul of a Ukrainian going through such difficult times. And all
I can say is Slava Ukrainyi.
Heroin Slava. Thank you.
Thank you so much. I wish you success. I wish you to find the best master's degree for
you and I wish safety, success and victory to Ukraine and to every Ukrainian. Thank you
and goodbye.
Thank you so much again. Thank you.
