Episode Transcript
Hello, my name is Aziz and I'm the son of a divorced mother. She is really my superhero.
That's why it's important for me to support women to share their uniqueness, their personalities,
their perspectives, and emotions about this world. In these difficult times in human history,
we need to bring the people of the world together. And when we hear the voices of women, when
we listen to real lives of women from other countries, we connect our cultures without
differences or stereotypes, and we get inspired by their stories to live a better life. That's
what this podcast is all about. My guest today is Alexia Bucur Epurescu. Alexia is a dancer
from Alba Iulia in Romania, and she loves modeling. Alexia is a certified makeup artist,
and she loves taking care of herself. Her favorite hobby right now is going to the gym.
Alexia is a loving person, and she really enjoys helping others. Alexia, how are you
today? Hi, I'm fine. Thank you. How are you? I'm feeling positive. I'm feeling grateful
to be alive because life is always an adventure. And I'm very curious about you as a girl and
as a person. So I'll begin with this simple, nice first question, which is, if your friends,
the people who love you and they know you best could describe your personality, what
would they say about you? I guess my friend could tell about me that I'm a fun person.
I'm always there for them when they need me anytime, any day. So I guess I'm a fun person
and a good one, and I'm always there for them. I like that. But let's go a bit further. Imagine
someone came for you for advice and they're like, I don't know how to be a fun person,
a good one. What would you say to them? How would you recommend? They think, what should
they do? How should they perceive the world? How can they be such a person? The most important
thing is just be yourself. And if others like you, that's fine. Just let yourself go.
Be free. Do what you love. And I guess others will find the fun in this, in your personality
and just be good with others. Cause that's really, really important. And not everyone
is good these days. Thank you. Yes. I was going to ask about that because usually you
spoke about being a good person, treating your friends and others well, two times. Does
it mean you had experiences at some point with people who were not so nice, who are
not so good, who disappointed you or did some things that were not kind to you? Yes. When
I was in middle school, people were really mean to me. Sometimes I got bullied a lot
and that's just not good. That's not what makes me feel good about myself. And I really
like to be good with others because I know how it is to be rejected and others do not
like you. I understand 100%. And also to me, it's people like that, people who have faced
a lot of bullying, traumas, difficulties that know how to have fun and appreciate life,
know how to be kind, and also they have more wisdom. And so to ask you, when people get
bullied or they have a difficult situation, they can either become traumatized, depressed
and bitter, or like you, they become more fun, more kind, try to develop and be positive.
Was there a situation in your life or how did you approach the way so that you become,
so that it becomes a lesson that you learned instead of a traumatic experience that breaks
you? I try to understand myself and I know what
person I am and no one should suffer from bullying, from trauma, from things like that.
I don't know. You just need to listen to yourself, your emotions and to be who you are and you
will appreciate yourself more and you will not care anymore about what other people think
about you. Thank you. And did modeling and makeup, because
it's something that you love, something that you do a lot, help you with this or was it
a way that helped your positivity or how is makeup and modeling either something that
helps you be good to people, more fun, gain more self-confidence or overcome the bullying
and traumas? Makeup and modeling helped me understand more
myself and helped me get out of my comfort zone. It really helped me with the bullying
because I started to take care more of myself. I believe more in myself and I see the power
I have in my hands and it really helped me. I love that. I recommend that emotion that
power, that confidence to be the outcome and the feeling of every girl and woman at all
times. I'm totally against bullying. And to ask you even more, let's say a younger
girl came to you and she's like, I'm being bullied. I don't feel confident. What would
your advice to her in a practical way? Would you tell her, go learn to dance and you will
learn how to feel your body and that will help your confidence? Would you tell her you
should go do makeup training so that you learn how to really design yourself and create any
shape and any look you want or what would you recommend to her? Because a lot of girls
have some kind of lower confidence because there is too much criticism in this world.
So what would you recommend? I would tell her to do anything she likes.
Anything she is good at it. You don't need to do makeup or modeling if you're not into
it and if you're not really enjoying doing that. I would tell her to do anything that
she likes because it just helps you have more power and any kind of sport it's really helping
you. For me, sport is the most important thing in my life because it's just helping me get
out of my comfort zone. I just forget about any bad thoughts and I just focus on the sport
and it's really, really, really helping me. Thank you. I noticed the way you say power
has a lot of emotion behind it and you said that twice. What is to you power? How does
it manifest in a person's life? How do you feel it? How do you use it? What is your own
definition of power? I don't know what to say. It's just a feeling
that you feel in your body and it's just, it's really good. You just feel more confident,
more powerful, more... You just know what to do. You just stop having issues. You just
go and let go to yourself. I understand. And when you're dancing, because
a lot of dancers describe moment of flow, a period when they're dancing, the time stops,
they just feel their body. It's almost like they're watching themselves do the choreography
in a way that is impressive even to themselves and they feel powerful. They feel confident.
One girl I interviewed who is a dancer, she said, I feel like I'm moving a doll or at
the same time, she said, I feel like a queen. So to you, are there experiences when it comes
to dance that also give you that feeling of power?
Yeah, when I'm dancing, I feel really powerful because the music, the steps, everything,
I just feel the music in all of parts of my body. I love the lights being on me, being
the center of attention. And yeah, I really feel really, really good when I'm dancing
and I love doing that. Thank you. And I'm noticing that you're a kinesthetic
kind of girl, which means you feel sensations and emotions even stronger than other people.
And that's why I can imagine and feel your pain when you are bullied because it will
hurt you even more than other people. But then to ask you in social media, let's say
when you post something, there are people who are critical, especially online. They
can have like a fake account and post a mean comment or are rude or even without them doing
it. You can imagine that they could do some kind of rude comment that triggers a little
bit of the bullying trauma. How do you give yourself the courage and the bravery to show
yourself to the world without worrying or without letting go and stopping yourself because
of fear of rudeness and negative comments? For being honest, it never happened to me.
Like someone bullying me online. But I guess it's really, it's really hard when someone
goes through that. It happens a few times, like people being mean or leaving a hate comment.
But I just really don't care. Like I know who I am. My friends, my family know who I
am. So that's what's important for me. I know really good myself and I know what I'm capable
of. I know the great things I do in life. And that's what really matters to me.
I love that confidence. And still, I want to insist because we live in a time where
a lot of girls don't have the opportunity to really know themselves. Maybe they don't
know what it means. You recommended earlier they should do what they love, but maybe they
were being too nice and people pleaser to others. So they were doing what their family
wanted. They never tried things that they know so that they discover what they love.
How can a person know themselves, know who they are in the same way that you are becoming
more and more knowledgeable about yourself? Like when you spoke about knowing yourself,
what does that mean? And to someone who never tried that or doesn't know how to do it, how
would you explain it? What would you recommend? What should they do?
I'm still struggling with that because I don't really know very good myself. They should
try a lot of things, a lot of new things. And in the end, you will know what is the
best for you. I really struggle with that. I really try to get out of my comfort zone
to find more things that I'm into it. But yeah, it's a little bit hard, but in the end,
you will be good.
Thank you. And that makes me wonder, are you a girl who loves new emotions, who gets bored
easily, and you want every day to be very exciting?
I want every day to be exciting. I'm always looking for new things to do, a new place
to go. I get bored easily, I guess. I want every day to do something new because life
is so short and I'm at the age when I need to experience a lot of things and I don't
want the years to pass by me and to not enjoy life.
That's a wonderful attitude. At the same time, I'll play the devil's advocate. As a girl
who loves new emotions, gets bored easily, there are two things maybe why it's not or
never possible to really know yourself. Because one, if you really knew yourself totally,
then there is nothing new and you'll be bored. And maybe that's why a part of you doesn't
really allow you to know yourself fully. But secondly, because you're experiencing everything,
you are always changing every minute. And therefore, even when you know yourself, and
I know it sounds contradictory, but it's, you know, human beings are a contradiction.
Even if you knew yourself, you'll already have changed and therefore you cannot really
know yourself. What's your perspective on this?
Yeah, it's true what you say, but you can do the things that you love and start knowing
yourself but still trying to do new things. It's always good for yourself to do new things
because that's what life is about. You really need to enjoy life, to be happy, to see the
good in others.
I agree with you 100%. Life is too precious to be wasted. You have to create memories,
you know, live for stories and always have more dreams than past achievements and past
experiences. So you can always do more. And then to ask you, what is a country or a place
in the world or even in fantasy, something imaginary that would represent your ideal
personality now 100% where if you are there, you will feel you're into it. It's exactly
your element. Like would you be in Hollywood with the stars in New York, walking in those
famous streets or in Rio de Janeiro on the beach or in Japan with the culture, or is
Romania really to you the ideal place to express your personality? How was your experience
in Romania? Does the culture encourage you to be fully who you are? I don't know. Tell
me.
I really love Romania, but I don't have much, much things to do here in that moment. I will
really love myself to be in Hollywood. Being a star, everyone knows me. But a part of me
really, really like to, I don't know, I see myself in Italy, somewhere in the country
with a farm. I'm really into things like that. But I guess Italy will be the place where
I know I will find myself 100% somewhere in the country, in the forest, somewhere, I don't
know, at the beach. I really enjoy things like that.
Oh, I have so many questions. I don't know where to start, but I'll begin with this.
You spoke about nature, about the beach, the mountain, the farm. What is your connection
with nature? What feeling does it give you? What is there? And some people will argue
that nature is not exciting. Every day is not a new experience because nature is kind
of the same always. So how is it exciting for you?
For me, nature, it's really exciting. Like the beach, I really love being on the beach.
I love being in the forest, in the mountain, everywhere. But yeah, I will really, really
like to stay more in the nature, but it's really hard because, you know, life is busy,
you have school, other things to do, and you don't have really more time to be in nature.
But I really, really like to spend more time in the nature.
Thank you. And there is another thing you spoke about, which could be seen as even opposite
or contradictory to your love for nature, and it is. You said, when you dance, you love
to be the center of attention. You spoke about you'd love to be a star in Hollywood and be
the center of attention. Two things. One, a lot of girls, if they are the center of attention,
they feel extra shy, they want to run away, it's uncomfortable. So what emotion does it
give you? Why do you enjoy it? Was it something you always had? Especially people who were
bullied, they don't really at first feel comfortable with being the center of attention because
they might expect some people to bully them or something. And is it a similar emotion
to being in nature on the beach? Or is it actually something totally different and a
different side to your personality?
I'm a really shy person. I'm really, really shy, but I would love to get more of my comfort
zone, to get out of my comfort zone. And by being the center of attention, I really work
on that. But at the same time, I'd say too, I'm shy, but it's a great feeling when you're
appreciated, when you do good things and people appreciate you. That's a really fun emotion.
And yeah, it's different from being in nature because there is more calm. It's a calming
feeling and you just forget about the bad things, the music, the stress, the everything.
Thank you. That's absolutely interesting. And I want to know, because there seems to
be a desire or a drive within you to really enjoy life, to extract the happiness and the
emotions and the new experiences from every day. Is this something new you had? Did you
have a life where you were too much in your comfort zone and you decided, no, I refuse
to do that? Or are there some TV series or movies where there is an actress that inspired
you? Or because of the pandemic, you stayed at home and you're like, oh my God, I could
die any day. Let me enjoy life. It's too short. Or how was that transformation or how is this
attitude, this mindset, how did it emerge within you?
I was bullied. I was not really happy with my life, with the things I have. I was in
toxic relationships, friendship, and I started to get a new life. I'm in the loving relationship
right now. I'm really happy. And things like that make me understand that life is short
and you need to see good in others and just really be happy because you don't know how
appreciative you are by God, by your parents, by your friends. And you really need to let
the bad things behind. And I just understand that is more in life than a toxic person.
That is so much wisdom. Thank you so much, Alexia. It was my privilege and my honor to
include you in this project to understand your perspective, to share your voice. Thank
you so much for participating in this podcast. Thank you so much for the opportunity. It
was great.
