Episode Transcript
Hello, my name is Aziz and I'm the son of a divorced mother. She is really my superhero.
That's why it's important for me to support women to share their uniqueness, their personalities,
their perspectives, and emotions about this world. In these difficult times in human history,
we need to bring the people of the world together. And when we hear the voices of women, when
we listen to real lives of women from other countries, we connect our cultures without
differences or stereotypes, and we get inspired by their stories to live a better life. That's
what this podcast is all about. My guest today is Elena Guzmirolli. Elena
is the first Italian girl on this podcast, so this is a very special episode where she
will represent her country, but first and foremost, herself. Elena is a psychologist,
an international model, a kids teacher at Università Cátolica, a lover of travel,
the founder of the new fashion brand, Beland Studio, and a social media influencer with
one million followers on Instagram. Elena has been on the cover of multiple fashion,
fitness, and lifestyle magazines, including Glamour, Harper's Bazaar, and Women's
Fitness, and collaborated with luxury brands such as Moschino, Salvatore Ferragamo, Lamborghini,
and Ferrari. Elena, how are you today?
Hello, everyone. Nice to meet you. I'm so happy to be the first Italian you speak with
because I speak good English, as not everyone does in Italy, but I thank my mother because
she was... I mean, now she's not anymore, but she was an English teacher, so yeah. She
speak with me in English, and then I grew up also with my aunties that she got married
with a guy from London, so we have an international family. I grew up in the north of Italy, close
by Lake Como. Now it's getting quite famous, but that time wasn't, so the story of my city,
it's like a frontal city because it's in the north part, near to Switzerland. So yeah,
my grandfather, I think many of them work in Switzerland to get money to Italy because
it was in a very rich country in the past. Our culture is very famous in the world because
we love food. We eat a lot of food, pasta, pizza, and everything, and they always ask
me why I'm not getting fat, eating all this carbo, but I think food made with love, it's
something that will never make you sad, so will always keep you positive and burn calories.
I can feel your emotions. I'm just curious because the way you speak, it's someone very
artistic, very emotional, and I'm curious about that part of you as a person. It seems
to me, because usually people who speak from that place that you're speaking right now,
which is a place of deep emotions, are you someone who's very sensitive that you feel
emotions very strongly? Sometimes you feel emotions so strong that you need to express
it in some artistic way, or tell me more about that soul part of yourself.
When I was young, I always dreamed about being an actress. I was like, I'm gonna be for my
mother a teacher because she teaches me everything and I want to teach other people everything
about our culture, and I also want to teach about our emotional because psychology and
pedagogies are really connected by each other, and kids grow up as we teach them to grow
up, so they are the future, and I think they have to be treated with all the love and respect
because they understand everything, and sometimes we think kids don't understand. They really
understand us. When I was young, I understand that my mother and my father were divorcing.
Basically they were everyday fighting, and one day a school teacher of me called my mother
home and said, I think Elena has a problem, I think she's autistic, because I wasn't really
speaking with the other kids, I wasn't really connected, so my mother at this day decided
to break up with my father because they always were fighting in front of me, so that's why
I want to express what I felt, because I was really feeling what my father was living in
that time, and if I would be able to trust me something about that, I would like to encourage
people to go to psychology, to do therapies, to believe, because sometimes we forget about
what life has to teach to us, so we always think we already know everything, but you
never know, you know?
Yes, I really feel the emotions and I understand how it might feel, because me as well, my
parents divorced and I had a period of my life where I was very silent and you spoke
about some people thinking you're autistic, but you are someone who's very interested
in psychology, there is a misconception, people think when you're interested in psychology
it's because you want to understand other people or manipulate them, but mostly it's
first to understand yourself and help yourself from your traumas and all that. Can you speak
about your interest in psychology? Why did it start? How did you choose to go deeper
to study this field and how does it relate to your experience of parents divorcing, of
growing up as a girl in northern Italy?
So at the beginning, my mother was really ambitious about me, so that's where I learned
to be ambitious, and I started to think that I didn't have a possibility in the economy,
because I did high school about economies and stuff that I'm not really interesting
about, but then I changed because we always have a second chance in our lives, so more
than two if we're lucky. And I went to Milano and I decided to study at a Catholic university
because it was the only one that I wanted to go, I was really into religions, and I
felt I was strong to grow up in that way because many people don't believe, and this is subjective
I know, but for me, from my experience, it gave me a lot of strong. So yeah, my creativity
then began at the third year of university when I wanted to stop because I said to my
mom, mom, I'm going to go to LA and I'm going to study acting. I want to go to LA. And then
I had a proposal about an agency in LA that called me there. So I was like, I want to
go there. And then I tried, but my mother was too, I was not enough, you know, independent
at that time. And she called me back. So I finished my five years of university. And
when I finished, finally, I went to LA and then I find out that wasn't really what we
grew up because in Italy, in the north part of Italy, we grow up almost in all Italy with,
you know, US series like OC and California series. And then I was thinking without my
dream, but when I went there, maybe it was because it was also unlucky with COVID time
and you know what happened. And so I decided to come back home and I restarted everything
again. And I went to from the base because when we have to restart, everyone fall down.
So when we have to restart, we do like step by step. So I start from the base. I went
to teaching in a school in north Italy and I teach for two, three months. The teacher
was like a very nice job, but I think in Italy is not really well paid because if you're
doing Milano, you can earn like about 1,200 and you pay 1,000 for rent only. So it's not
really worth it, but yeah, you not really do for money in Italy. And that's so that's
not really good in this way because teacher are, you know, the base of the future. So
our world will change if we will take more care about them in Italy. I'm, I'm talking
for my country. And then I decided that this wasn't, wasn't enough for me. And I decided
to go to Paris and then it's now it's one year I'm studying in Paris almost one year
I'm studying acting. I will have XM in February. So yeah, I'm making my dream come true because
I express myself through that. I felt like you go up in the mountain and you shout so
loud and you take it out.
Thank you. I agree with you very much that teachers are the foundation for the future
of the children, but also for democracy. If you have uneducated people, they will vote
in ways that will be bad for the country as well. So they're very underpaid. I believe
they should be paid as much as football stars and celebrities because they do an even more
important job. And to understand something I noticed, you love acting. I interviewed
before a girl who was also modeling and acting and she said to her, sometimes people have
a stereotype when they look at her before they know her or they expect her to be a snob,
for example, because she looks good or anything like that. But when she's acting, she is free
to be any person in the world. And therefore, she cannot be stereotyped because she feels
her personality is flexible. She can be anything and anyone without limits of the judgment
of others. Is this something that you relate to when it comes to acting or what do you
love most about acting? You spoke about going on top of a mountain and I imagine Switzerland
again. I know your grandfather worked there shouting in those mountains just to release
all the energy. But please speak about why you love acting. What is your favorite thing
about it? And how does it nourish your spirit and give you more energy and inspiration?
So basically, I forget to say two more things about me. One is I love art, like I love music.
I play clarinet. And when my mother asked me in the secondary school which instrument
I wanted to play because we did a test and I was like the first one to get the high score.
So they asked me which instrument I wanted to play and it was clarinet. So I think acting
is a kind of clarinet. It's like, it's you, but it's you in every emotional you try in
your blood, you know, because every part I'm visiting in the world, I'm getting more rich
and rich, but not about money, but about experience. And that's what acting is. You just like keep
them into secret space, kind of files or documents. And then when you play, you get them out and
you just like re-smell the sound of your mother's kitchen when you were young. And then you
just find the words in the silence. And this is kind of amazing things that we have in
this world. You know, people can do unbelievable things. It's just like close by your next
door, but you have to go out of your comfort zone. And sometimes we forget about that,
you know.
I understand that 100%. And I'm really curious. It seems you have such a rich internal world,
a very big imagination. Earlier when you spoke about, again, going on the mountain and yelling,
and now you spoke about in your mother's kitchen, feeling the sensations. Can you tell me a
bit more about that? Did you create a world inside you that is interesting? Maybe when
you were a little girl and you didn't speak to people, did you create some friends within
you that you communicated with, or sometimes you daydream about places you want to travel
to before you travel to them? Or tell me about this, because you're speaking in a way that
shows a rich imagination and an internal world that is full of details and nuances.
I think it came from the many languages I speak, because in university I decided to
do Arabic exam. Then I speak German, English, Spanish, French. And I'm trying to understand
in Chinese and Chinese, but it's very hard here. Actually, I am in Chiang Mai, that is
in the north part of Thailand. And it's a really interesting city because it's kind
of, remember my birthplace. When I was growing up in the north part, really, literally one
of the northern parts of Italy helps. This city, Chiang Mai, reminds me of my city because
it's a frontal city. And people growing up have to invent, you know, exporting, importing,
you have to invent your business. So I think sometimes we choose the easiest street to
go to catch what we want to achieve our goals, but we forget about that life is in the way.
So life is not when you arrive to achieve that. Life is in the way to achieve that.
So when you innovate and create, that, I think, is one of the real happiness you can have.
Thank you. So if I understood you correctly, life is not about the outcome or the money,
but like you said, when you travel, you get richer and richer. It means, if I understood
you correctly, that it's about carpe diem, about enjoying every moment, finding the happiness,
the emotions, how you can imagine things to feel them even deeper and better in everything.
It's about the love of the people and you spoke about food that is made with love will
give you good health and will not make you fat. So is it to you that you try to enjoy
every second to find reasons why every moment is special and full of potential? But if yes,
then is this something that you always had or usually people who have this, they had
some kind of trauma in the past that made them wise? They think, okay, I don't accept
this pain anymore, maybe bullying or something like you spoke about parents fighting and
there was a moment where you decided, I will be happy. I refuse to let life make me miserable.
Tell me more.
Honestly, I think we were good in this era to give the fall to the other person. So the
fall is from my parents. The fall is from the other person. In Italy, trust me, everyone's
always complain about everything. If you're married, why are you married? If you're not
married, why are you not married? You know, like we always complain about everything.
So it's always like when you're young and you desire so hard to have this present from
Santa Claus and then Santa Claus didn't give you because Santa Claus is poor this year,
so he can't really buy this stuff for you. So you are like, I really want that. But when
you have it, then you want something else. So it's not like really you live in the moment.
It's more like you are in the moment. Like, where are you? You are here living or you
just do what the other people say you do. Sometimes we think then I will talk about
my experience. So my mother wanted me to be a teacher, but it was really what makes me
happy. I didn't know at that time. So when girls finish university, they are more interesting
than men to maybe have a family and, you know, get married and whatever, blah, blah, blah.
Because society teaches we have to. But honestly, does it really what you really want? I mean,
my auntie, for example, she's not married. She's not married and she's maybe sixty three
years old or older. Maybe she loves me, but she's one of the most happiest person I ever
meet. And when I think she's my best friend, because we always speak about everything and
we're like friends, you know, and she happy maybe more than other people that are married
with kids and whatever. So at the end, I think happiness is what you want, not what other
people want, but for really search what you want, what you have to do. Try, try, try everything
like try and then don't give up. If you really want something, don't give up. I mean, I tried
to be a teacher and I didn't like that. And so I wanted to be an actor and I am trying
and I didn't know if I one day I will be, at least I did it, you know, because I find
people in my class in Paris, I'm doing the cause flow on. So people in my class in Paris,
there was maybe one girl, she was like 40 years old. And what, I mean, she broke up
with the job and with boyfriend. And she said like, I wanted to be an actor. I really want,
I always wanted. So why you lost all this time? Because everyone have different time,
you know, so we don't have to compare ourselves to our best friend or she did more. We have
to be happy about their goals because you will be, achieve yours. You know, you are
here now. So in Italian, we say the average of the people that you spend time with. Yes.
So had the bad vibes. I mean, why you waiting? What? I mean, if you don't trust someone,
you will never ever do because he can cheat once. He cheat once, he will cheat too. And
you know, it's up to you, you know, I think try, you know, you have to try hard for everything.
Thank you, Elena. That made me think you spoke about Thailand and it made me think about
Buddhism when you said who you are and where you are, when you experience life, which is
mindfulness. Earlier, you spoke about how studying in the Catholic university was important
for you. It gave you a foundation, maybe faith. Are you a spiritual kind of girl? What do
you believe about life, about spirituality? Are you more into manifestation and like tarot
and astrology or what is your belief about God, about destiny, about the world? How do
you perceive it?
Yeah. So I am Christian Catholic. So I grew up with my mother that she teach me her beliefs
and her religions that later becomes mine because I was like not really Catholic in
a period of my life, but as God always forgive us, he always waits us to his house, I think.
So when I decided to go alone to university at the beginning, I was really scared, but
thinking that I was going in a group of people that believes what I was believed, that makes
me strong because I had brothers and sisters there. I find myself modern, but at the same
time vintage because religion is never old. I believe in God and I pray every day. So
I think everyone express himself about his religion and he, I think every religion believes
in good things and believes in peace and love and charity and values. I think it's good
for health too. So in Italy we have Papa, so we really have this man who speaks every
Sunday and who all the grandfather and grandmother listen to before eating our Sunday food, traditional
one where we are all sitting in our table and we pray and we remain thankful for what
God gives us. So yeah, when you're young, you're not really understand because when
you're young, God is a kind of protection for you. It's just like trying to, you know,
make kids curious and happy about all the new things they are into discovering. And
then I think God's evolving every level of our lives. So at the age of 25, I was like
really into spiritual traveling. So I decided to choose a place where was like searching
something, but I didn't know what really. So we just like keep our luggage. And after
your degree in Italy, we used to travel or also before going to choose a university,
we have this gap year. I think everyone knows all around the world. So you go, but you don't
know where actually really want to go. So you just travel. And I think it's very important
for everyone because sometimes I heard people ask me, you traveling alone, how are you do?
And I saw like, I'm never alone because everywhere I go, I found people I loved and I love to
go back and, you know, express what we think, what in how different way we lives, because
there's not one way for leaves. There's not the classic one. You grew up, you saw you,
you do work in office or whatever, and you go back to family or to kids and blah, blah.
I discovering Instagram and the internet world that gives us also many good opportunity for
seeing other people traveling the world in a camper or school bus, and they fix it as
a house. And it reminds me my grandfather and grandmother that they will love traveling
around the world with a camper. And sometimes we forget about that, but it gives you the
boosting you need for your gasoline for makes your car go. Yeah.
Thank you. I really love the energy and this attitude. And I interviewed a lot of girls.
There are many girls in this world who don't feel confident in order to follow their dreams.
Maybe they worry about criticism. And you had the courage like you spoke now about traveling,
meeting new people about going to L.A. just to try it now in Paris, pursuing your dream
without anything super prepared. So what within your thinking helps you have courage? Where
are many other women and girls are not feeling that same confidence to do it? And what advice
do you have for them or some actions they can take or something they can do so that
they become that strong, confident woman that can try things, that doesn't worry if things
fail because she's always learning, even when mistakes happen or things don't work out.
And so that she doesn't stay within her comfort zone, but can go outside to discover the world.
Sometimes friends come to me, almost more girlfriends come to me and say, oh, we broke
up or we fine or I hate him. I think the big lessons, one of the big lessons I learn is
that from break comes the light. So not everything we think is negative for our experience. It
comes out it is because maybe if you're bigger, lucky you have, because I think God knows.
So when you believe, you just experience your life as much positive as you can, because
also from the negative stuff, then from, for example, my first broke up, it comes out,
I wanted to be more stronger because I felt alone and many women feel themselves alone.
Also my mother felt alone when she had to leave my father. So I think this is a big
challenge for you. You have to take it because from that I experienced that I wanted to be
more strong. So I hope it will never happen again, but if next time will happen and that
guy will let me, so I will be able to answer him. Okay. I live good alone. I'm good. I
feel good. I don't need no one. I mean, I don't need you. And you know what? I want
to see many friends all around the world that I didn't even meet maybe, but I'm gonna meet,
you know, women are strong. Women have to have good karma because we gave it too much.
You know, we gave it too much. And sometimes men didn't respect that, but we are able to
go alone. We don't need no one to support us. We are able to stand by our foot like
black people did, you know, we had the revolution for that. And why women's always, when I heard
a friend or someone that asked for my help, I said, like, I just take what is into you.
I mean, this is not like we are strong enough to do our life because you know, we was made
for that. So I think the best thing I can say to a person who thinks she's not enough.
She's not strong enough to do that. Just start with the small things. Go out, go out, but
don't leave with your mother or your father. Go find your place. Find your job. Also, shit
job. It doesn't matter if you wait, there's one time the last person will be the first.
So I think, and I believe that people would don't know, maybe they don't speak English
and they're afraid to go out from Italy. They just have to do that, you know, go and in
some way you will figure it out. It doesn't really matter if you don't have a plan because
this is not important now. Love is not happening because you have a plan that you want to fall
in love. So I want to fall in love on 30 February. No, it's not work like that. Just experience,
do try and then you will see. It doesn't matter now, you know.
I understand fully and it makes me wonder when it comes to love just to ask about your
experience. Is it to you chemistry that sometimes you felt attracted to some people that logically
maybe they are not your type or they're not really the way you imagine them to be or are
you someone who falls in love with the souls of people or how is to you because you spoke
about love not happening February 30th. That was funny. How do you experience love? What
kind of people do you find yourself attracted to and is it a specific type or is it random
and sometimes chemistry that logic cannot explain someone that people will think, wow,
why are you attracted to that person? But you're like, I don't know, but I just feel
a deep sense of like, I know him well, I feel attracted, etc. Can you speak about that?
Because I'm sure some people who would be curious to know how you are in this part of
your personality. Yeah, love is very difficult for women, especially
for women who believes that there is perfect love and perfect man. I don't think that I'm
in from my experience, I fall in love maybe twice in my life and yeah, my actual boyfriend
that is not really my boyfriend because in this way I travel a lot for work and for modeling,
but also for my brand because it's made in Indonesia. And now I have a long travel to
do because he lives in Mexico. So it's out for us. I'm from Mexico and we almost more
than six months, we don't see each other. So I think when I was saying love is not happening
is because you don't choose with who you have to fall in love. I try to forgive him because
we kind of broke up after four years, but it's hard to find someone and feel this because
love makes you full. I mean, love, you can live in colorful, you don't need to eat, but
for Italian it's very rare thing, but it happens. So you feel like you just want to live to
see him. So maybe he will never, the bad things about my life that no one knows, it's that
being person with many people that know you, they make them talk and they always will talk
bad about you. So you don't care. You don't care about maybe when you grow up, then you
learn to live it. Go. You just mad. You just matter about what he think, or maybe what
he think. And sometimes it's hard that he trusts you because you know, maybe famous
footballers text you or famous blah, blah, singer texts you. And then he said, why you
love me? I mean, who I am because it's you like, you know, one, but for me, everything,
you know, so that doesn't matter on that beautiful note. And I agree that love is both something
that adds a lot of depth and dimension to life. And it's not something that you can
plan or rationally work with, or like you said, if you're loved or if you love him,
he doesn't need to compare himself to any person because each soul is unique and personal.
Elena, it was my privilege and my honor to include you in this podcast, to share your
voice, your experience.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much. I'm so happy. That's actually not my first interview,
but my first interview in English. Like, so I had my interview in Italy, but also in English,
sorry for my mistakes. Don't judge me because I'm still learning.
You did very well. I'm very proud of you. Thank you again.
Thank you. Bye.
