E312 Tina Dewberry

Hello. My name is Aziz and I'm the son of a divorced mother. She's really my superhero. That's why it's important for me to support women, to share their uniqueness, their personalities, perspectives, and emotions about life. Too many women in this world feel alone. They worry about the judgment of others, and they struggle with their mental health, but when they listen to the Rare Girls podcast where empowered women share their voices and tell their stories, many women will feel inspired to live a life of freedom and to overcome all their insecurities. They will feel it is a safe space to find their confidence, to remember their unique beauty and to feel their self-worth and they will connect with the sisterhood of rare girls who encourage their success and support their dreams. That's what this podcast is all about. My guest today is Tina Dewberry. Tina is a self-worth coach and rapid transformational therapy aka RTT practitioner based in Perth, Western Australia as a mother of three sons With her youngest son having been born with a physical disability, Spina Bifida, 25 years ago Tina had to navigate all the heartache and difficulties that come with that. As a consequence of that, she experienced her own physical and mental health issues. Trying to find ways to cope and heal from these challenges, Tina began her own journey in self-development and personal growth. Her exploration into this field began with the work of Louise Hay and Shakti Gawain. Training as a workshop leader in Louise Hay's Heal Your Life seminars, she then built on these teachings further with Patricia Crane PhD, discovering the power of positive affirmation. At a later turning point, her strong desire to expand her understanding of the mind, body and spirit connection deepened as she continued to work with DNA activation and recalibration specialist Brigitte Gloria, entrepreneur, speaker and meditation master Tom Cronin and award-winning UK therapist Marisa Peer, extending her work into transformational therapy, incorporating hypnotherapy. These learnings, along with her background as a passionate educator motivated her to share the power of these and to have a greater impact on people's lives. Her experience and work of transformational therapy which includes mindfulness, meditation, hypnotherapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, CBT, and NLP, neuro-linguistic programming, has helped numerous individuals discover their self-worth and then use that to transform into greater versions of themselves, which brings her to where she is now, a transformational life coach that embodies the elevation of self-worth and live in one's own truth. Tina, how are you today? Hi, Aziz. I'm very well today. Thank you very much. And thank you so much for inviting me to be a part of this amazing podcast. I'm honored. I'm lucky. I'm privileged and so happy to have you here. and just to know even more about you because the whole podcast is about women's self-worth. It's such an important topic, especially it seems the more we go further in time, the more the years pass, the deeper and deeper that people's mental health issues get. For you as someone who could have been doing anything in this world, Why did you choose to become a self-worth coach in particular? What, within your story, which we shared pieces of it, made you decide that this is the most important purpose you can have right now? And tell me more about your perspective. So I think I've always had an innate interest in healing and helping others. And a lot of that obviously stemmed from my own journey as we touched on in the introduction and trying to find ways to navigate, I guess, the challenges that were in front of me. And a lot of it came back down to really loving myself and healing my own inner wounds, as we call them. and part of loving yourself and a massive part of that is really understanding and validating and recognizing one's self-worth. With all the clients that I've worked with and all the work that I've done, self-worth really is the underpinning core of all the self-words, self-confidence, self-esteem, self-compassion, self-love, self-care. So really understanding one's self-worth is the vital ingredient of everything. And I think from that point on, helping people to really recognize and understand that in themselves really enables them to be able to elevate themselves and live their and live their own tree. And I think that it just sort of evolved that way and it's just become my absolute passion. And I really feel that it is my soul's purpose on this planet to help heal, not just with particularly, I mean, I work particularly with women, but I also, you know, work with other clients as well. So I think that's, yeah, certainly I found that, that that's been my my mission and my purpose. I love this we're going to have so much fun today and just to define terms let's begin with self-love what is to you the meaning of self-love because for some people they have this conception that self-love means you become like a hippie who just has no reason to move forward because you love yourself so much and they think wrongly or not, whatever it is, that how can I be pushed and motivated forward without the pain and the self-criticism and all that? Because I notice a lot of people are addicted to their limitations and they, although they suffer from them, there is a part of them that thinks they're necessary for them to evolve and progress. So can you share a bit more? Yeah. So really, first of all, let me define really what self-worth really is. So self-worth is a feeling that you're a good person that deserves to be treated with respect. And it's a really deep understanding that you are someone of value and that you're lovable and to life. So, as I said, that's kind of like the foundation of everything. So then the self-love is sort of the step on from that is that to be able to acknowledge and recognize that we have to take care of ourselves and giving ourselves, you know, recognizing what our hurts have been, what our wounds are. But the key to it is not staying stuck in that and not letting, allowing that to identify who we are. That is just a part of our journey. And it's a part of our healing is to be able to acknowledge that. Or we might say, some people will say like, you know, our shadow side, our darker sides is to be able to see those, validate those, acknowledge them, heal them and work on them. And then it allows us to bring in more space of the positivity and the nurturing and the nourishing and the healing aspect of things. So the other part of it as well is that in our society that we are conditioned to think sometimes that not to put ourselves first, that we have to think of others first. And there is a balance that's required because you can't serve or be of help or take care of anyone else unless you do look after yourself. So you've got to, you know, it's about filling that cup first and letting the overflow be what helps and serves others. So for some people, they may need an extended period of time and healing and processes to work on that because, you know, depending on what they happened in their childhood or what had growing up, you know, they may have had misfortune of not having any of that or much of that at all. And there requires a lot of that own self-nurturing and self-care and self-love to be able to bring them back to a, you know, a balance and to a place where they then can give from that place. Thank you. And that sounds to me that it will affect all the relationships that people have, especially their intimate ones where if they don't feel worthy, they will repulse and reject people who see them as good because they cannot accept compliments and might attract toxic people into their lives who confirm for them that they are worthless, which is wrong. And then it creates a cycle of repeatedly dating or being friends even with people who have a of bullying towards you and in some level there is like a confirmation of your worldview that if you're not worth it then you should be treated in a way that makes you confirms to you that you're not. Is this something you notice whether for yourself or for some of your clients? What was some of the resistance to them changing it? Maybe they say why would they change then maybe a man or woman or whatever who's toxic to me but I love them then maybe they won't love me if I change any of those struggles related to this point. Absolutely and this is a you know a common theme I guess in in people that find themselves in you know toxic on unhealthy relationships and it is that you know it is that understanding that you know you can only love someone as much you love yourself. And that you also energetically and vibrationally that you would draw the law of attraction. You know, you would draw into your life, you know, the level of energy that you are actually, you know, vibrating from. And so sometimes as well, people will find, you know, through their emotional wounding, so to speak, that they will be in relationships because there a sense there is an actual subconscious sense a level of familiarity. So unfortunately if someone has experienced abuse you know in their familial relationships growing up there is this pattern that they unconsciously are repeating and so they're seeking out that in their relationships whether it's you know their female and often this will come back down to the relationships their primary relationships that they have, you know, with their caregivers, whether their mother or father, or the significant male or female in the relationships. And this then can play out, you know, throughout their life, you know, as they go forward. And this is where I guess the RTT certainly has a significant role to play in that because it is all about finding the root cause of whatever the issue may be, whether it's a emotional, physical, you know, psychological issue that's happening, there's a root cause to that and that often and pretty much always will stem back to something that has happened in their childhood, whether as I said, whether it's a significant carer or parent or someone in their life where they've had some kind of event that then they create this belief and from that belief then we have what we call is a looping thought. So the thought creates a feeling and then the feeling then creates an action or a behavior and then when this loop continues it just reinforces itself and reinforces itself and until we can interrupt that you know pattern that cycle and reinstall it with some new beliefs people will find themselves you know repeating the same patterns and having the same sort of themes within relationships, and that can continue. And so it's really about breaking the cycle, as I said, having a circuit breaker and reprogramming whatever those beliefs are for that person, whatever limiting beliefs that that person may have. Thank you. And you're someone who has experimented with and also became an expert in various modalities of healing, of helping self-worth. Why did you choose to focus on RTT more than any others? Why not, for example, become an MLP master practitioner or any of the others? What was the difference or the superiority or the affinity? Maybe it's a personal choice or a personal alignment. And what is it for the people who don't know, what is RTT? So, look, over the years, in my own journey, in, you know, working through my own mental health issues and physical issues, you know, I certainly did do lots of different therapies and tried lots of different things. And I really think it was just, I happened to just come across Marisa Peer's work through Mine Valley, actually. And I was actually doing some study, doing some other courses through there. And I saw her being interviewed and it just really fascinated me. And it was also during a period of time where I was going through some difficulties myself and she was offering a master class in RTT. And I was just intrigued about it. As I said, I had seen some interviews of hers and some YouTube clips and I was just fascinated by it. And so I experienced an RTT session for myself and was absolutely blown away with just the insight that had come in such a short space of time and in just one session. And it was done over Zoom as well, with Marissa being in London and me being in Australia, but how the insights and the power that I received from just that one session really was very, very significant. And I think really put me on this trajectory, like it kind of like super, super seated me on this trajectory that I feel that I'm on now. And I think just having had that own personal experience was testimony to the power of it. And the more that I, obviously I studied it and learnt about it and spoke to other practitioners and just seen it for myself in clients, really just validated again, just the power of it. So rapid transformational therapy, RTT. So it's a pioneering therapy in which was developed by Marisa Pia, who is a UK therapist. And it's based on the best principles of neuroscience, hypnotherapy, psychotherapy, CBT. And it really offers a very fast and effective and often permanent and long lasting results, which I think by comparison to other therapies, traditional modes of therapy is what makes it so incredible and so extraordinary because it delivers results, permanent or very long lasting results really, really quickly. So for most ailments or issues that people have, we would say that they would maybe only need between one and three sessions versus conventional therapy. Because what it does is, as we were talking about, when you go into this deep state of hypnosis and you're working with the subconscious mind, it's really powerful because 95% of the time we're working at the conscious mind and we're working at that level of our stored and being held. And when we go into hypnosis, and we take the client into this, and it's just a very natural relaxed state, it's not like I'm going to make you dance like a chicken or anything like that. It's just taking you into a very, very deep, relaxed state. And we're accessing the alpha brainwaves. And in that state, people, as I said, are able to tap into that subconscious. And it reveals a lot of things that for many, many people, they surprising that they haven't even thought of for many, many years, but allows us to get to the root cause of the issue. And when we do that, we are then able to, as I said, we are able to uncover and reveal what that is. We then do some other works and there's some other techniques involved in the session where we do some inner child work and do some healing and then we reprogram and reinstall with the new limiting beliefs. And at the end of the session though, your practitioner or therapist will create a personalized audio, which you listen to for 21 days. And that is also a really important part of the therapy as well, that listening to that repetition and that's the reprogramming and the reinstallation for a series of weeks really helps to kind of concrete into the new beliefs. And Marissa and a lot of the therapists and practitioners have had great success all over the world. Marissa Peer has worked with top celebrities and elite performance athletes and celebrities from all over the world. And the RTT has won numerous awards as well because of just the power and the, you know, breakthroughs that it can give its clients. Thank you. I really love this. And also I want to comment and get your opinion on something. Nowadays we live in an age of social media where too many women, even though they're working on themselves, maybe trying to heal their past traumas, every day they get some level of retraumatization when they're seeing women who are photoshopped or even now AI-generated that look better than any human being could because they are not real, that's not the real photo. Still, it affects their subconscious because they keep on seeing those photos, comparing themselves to that and feeling inferior. What is your advice to those women? And did you deal with that? Do you know people who dealt with that? What's your perspective on this? especially when it comes to the younger teenage generation of women who doesn't know any different than that? Yes, it is a prolific issue, really across our whole society, really now. Fortunately, in my time, going back quite a long time ago, we didn't have those issues of social media or the internet to be constantly comparing ourselves and it's very difficult when young people are being bombarded from everywhere they look, they can't get away from it. So it is a very distorted um view of um image and um certainly even beauty and what you know what is deemed beauty and there becomes this distorted perception of of what is accepted as as beautiful um me personally myself um I was very late to the party with social media um and it was really just with my work that I really understood that I needed to get on board with it. But I certainly don't watch any TV. I'm very, very selective about things that I read. I don't buy magazines. It's very, very difficult. I guess really, know, this is where environment is very, very important. And for people to, you know, especially for young girls, you know, they're very impressionable. And as I said, you know, it's very difficult when it is everywhere in our society to be able to extract yourself from it. And I think we're all to some degree guilty of buying into this. But I think it's just, you know, looking at who are your role models, but why are they your role models? And, you know, really trying to understand about, you know, what is it about, you know, this person that you potentially are aspiring to? And, you know, going back to the concept of self-worth, you know, what people use to measure their self-worth are often external factors. So, whether it be appearance or their net worth, how much money they earn, their income, their material possessions, their social circle, who they know, who they're connected with, what you do for your career or what you achieve. These are all external things about people being validated. So the whole point with self-worth is it's all about internal, it's about you measuring against what you value yourself. And I guess really what I would suggest to young people, young women, or young men as well is just to take some time to just remove yourself. And I was listening to a podcast today about loneliness versus solitude. And, you know, in our society, once again, you know, we have this idea, this conditioning that all to be alone or lonely is a negative thing. Now, I think it's all about the intention because solitude is about being on your own, but it's about harnessing and really embracing, having that space around yourself to really go internally and reflect and think about things deeply for yourself. And I think that's a really important exercise to do. And I would often, when I have my workshops, my sisterhood circles is that's something that I encourage people to do is just to take that time and really think about, okay, what is it that's important to them? What do you truly value? All things aside, all influence aside, family, schools, businesses, organizations, media, what do you truly, truly value? And I think sometimes just posing those questions and asking and inquiring and being willing to explore by being in a safe space. And I think this is what I try to do for my clients, you know, either one-on-one or in my workshop is just to create a space where they can explore that with no judgment and explore that truly and really feel in your heart of hearts what is important to you, what is it that you value and to use that more as your guide rather than being caught up by the external media or press or TV or social media. But I do recognise it's a very challenging and world that we live in. But I would just advise, take some time out, even if it's once a week, half an hour a week. Go into nature, go for a walk and just spend some time reflecting and asking yourself those questions. What is it that you really want in your life? What is it that you really value? What is it that you really feel is important? What is beauty to you? And I think most people will have people around them that love them for who they are as a human, as a person, and that they connect on a deeper level. And they're the people that you wanna be talking to. They're the people you wanna be spending time with and having those influences and those people in your environment. Thank you so much, Tina. I love this. And if people want to learn more, maybe follow you, learn more about your work. What are some of the best places for them to go to? And of course, I'll make sure to link your Instagram in the description of the episode, et cetera. Yeah, so as you said, they can follow me on my Instagram and then I also Facebook Tina Dewberry Self-Worth Coach and RTT Practitioner. They also can just get on my website, which is www.TinaDubryCoach.com and find out more about me and the services that I provide and how I can maybe help support them on their own healing journey and how I can help them to elevate their own self-worth so they can live in their truth and be the greatest version of themselves. So happy to connect in any way and they can just send me a DM and yeah, would love to connect with people. Thank you, Tina, for being part of this project, for sharing your valuable work, for sharing parts of your story, and I'm sure there is so much more even depth. I wish you all the success. Keep going, you're helping a lot of people and have a fantastic and glorious continuation to your growing, your impact in every way. Thank you, Aziz. And I just want to say congratulations to you and thank you so much for the work that you were doing to showcase women from all over the world and giving them a platform to share their stories and their insights and their wisdom. It truly is a gift and I think we're all very blessed for you and your leadership and your wisdom to be able to bring that to the world. Yeah, it's very much needed at this time and I'm very very grateful and thank you for having me here today. You are very very welcome.