Episode Transcript
Hello, my name is Aziz and I'm the son of a divorce murderer. She is really my superhero. That's why it's important for me to support women to share their uniqueness, their personalities, perspectives, and emotions about life. Too many women in this world feel alone. They worry about the judgment of others and they struggle with their mental health, but when they listen to the Rare Girls podcast where empowered women share their voices and tell their stories, many women will feel inspired to live a life of freedom and to overcome all insecurities. They will feel it is a safe space to find their confidence, to remember their unique beauty and to feel their self worth and they will connect with the sisterhood of rare girls who encourage their success and support their dreams. That's what this podcast is all about. My guest today is Bojana Kalinich. Bojana is a 27 years old, currently living in Dubai, United Arab Emirates, born and raised in Republic of Srepska, Serbian part of Bosnia and Herzegovina. Bojana finished school in banking and finance but worked in a fashion company for five years as a digital marketing manager, sales assistant, coach for new staff in accounting and other roles. She has also worked as a model, bartender, babysitter, massager, hostess, makeup artist and had various other jobs which were her part-time jobs aside from her main job. She has been working since the age of 17 as her country has limited economic opportunities as she couldn't seem herself there anymore, she realized that she had to find her happiness somewhere else. Bojana lived in Switzerland for about three years. She has a lot of family and friends there. She speaks Serbian, English, and Italian, and currently she is traveling all over the world because she is working as a flight attendant. Bojana is a gym addict. She found her happiness in working out at the gym and that is her escape from reality. Bojana also has experience dancing for 12 years doing traditional dance folklore in her teenage years. She is a child of divorced parents and she has two younger sisters. Bojana believes she is a rich person because she has her family alive and healthy and has friendships that lasted over 15 years. She is hardworking, kind and friendly, also funny because she loves to smile and to make other people smile. Bojana, how are you today? Hello Aziz, thank you so much for this introduction and thank you so much for this opportunity. I'm really good and I'm so happy that I'm finally meeting you. How are you? I feel blessed. I feel very, very positive, really excited to know and discuss and understand and share your voice as well in this podcast. So I'll begin with this nice first question, which is if your friends and the people who know you best could describe some parts of your personality and maybe how you changed over the years, what would they say about you? That's a really good question because I really care what people who are surrounding me and who are the part of my life think about me. As I said, and as you said, my friend, I have friendships that last over 15 years and I'm so happy because of that. And the people who are surrounding me thinking that I'm kind, friendly and positive all the time. And they are also witnesses of me that I'm a hardworking person and someone who brings smiles in their life. And that is really a big accomplishment in my life. I love that. I have three different questions because you're very interesting. And I will begin with this one. You said that you are a positive person. You bring smiles to people. biologically the human brain is a worrying machine. It thinks often about negative things and therefore if we don't take control and train it to be positive, often it's not. But I don't know, eight billion people in the world maybe are born a ray of sunshine and positivity. How was it for you? What do you do to grow your positivity? Did you change yourself from someone who wasn't as positive into a more positive one. Share more as well as your advice for some women who might worry a lot in order to become sunny and optimistic as well. Yeah, it's a good question. I think I was born with it. There was always positivity in mind inside of me. So it's just sometimes it needs to be trained well, you know, like you need to work on it. So I was finding happiness in small things in a small detail in life, you know, to not be so much selfish and wish so much, you have to start from the bottom and to really enjoy small things. So I was always the person, you know, like, yeah, but it's sunny outside, you know, we're gonna enjoy it. Anyway, like, you know, in a small like that thing that life gives us. So, yeah, that is my way that I was developing my positivity and I will always find something to admire and share that on the other person. And of course, some funny things I always like to make jokes. So when everything something happens, I always try to make it in the joke way. You know, like I always try to reverse it. So yeah, that is my way. And I'm kind of enjoying it. That is my lifestyle. Be positive, think positive and positive things will happen. I agree with you. That's very, very, very important and sometimes rare. And I want to know more because there is so much gratitude that you're exuding. You are originally from Republic of Srepska, which is a small country and often has more traditional way of thinking because it's a part of that part of the world. So to ask you, growing up, did you always have a different mentality or personality to anyone who was around you? Did you feel maybe cosmopolitan, citizen of the world, you're now traveling all over the world, or did you feel you are assimilated and very similar to everyone there? How was your experience growing up? Great question. Yes, my country is really traditional. And it's so, it was, I'm proud of myself and where I grew up. I love that our tradition, I love our religion and everything, what I've been taught, but I always knew and I always felt that I'm a little bit different, you know, and that I deserve more of the borders of my country. I have to go, you know, somewhere in the world and experience that because I feel that I am more open for everything. And that keeps me going. So as many things happened in my life, I needed to be around my family and to support them, to help them. But the time came when I needed to be also there for myself, because sometimes we often forget for ourselves. I mean, I was the person who did that. So I said to myself, okay, now it's me time. And now it's time for me to grow. And I packed my things. And I went out. It's not an easy thing to do. It was very hard, especially when you come from that countries that doing that it makes you immediately people look you at different. So I wanted it. I take my risks. I took my chances and I feel like I succeed. And I'm so happy and proud of myself. It's been a long journey, but I'm so proud from where I came from. But it's not the place that I'm going to grow old and stay. It was not really. I'm proud of you as well, very, very much. And I want more. What is your advice to some women or some girls who are sacrificing themselves because they're living to the expectations of other people, but they feel and know their potential is somewhere else. And then they think, what if I go and my parents will be disappointed? What if I make a mistake and fail and people will laugh at me and say I told you so or anything like that. For you, you said, you understood that you couldn't live and grow up and end your life there, etc. But in general, what would you say to those women? Because any day that they're living, not following their own dreams and goals, is a day wasted while they could be growing their real potential that makes their heart happy. Yeah, I would like to say what I did, what helped me. So I was watching and observing people around me, and their mistakes, their behavior, their flaws, and everything what I don't like. And I took the paper and pen and I wrote down everything. And I compared myself and everything on that list, what is the part of me and what I can do to change it. So I don't become the person who doesn't like to spend time with myself, you know, so write down everything and what you don't want and start over again, start changing. So I want to give advice for the women all around world is like, the woman you're becoming will cost you the relationships, the people, the spaces and the material things. So choose her over everything. I know that we are afraid of what people will think, what parents will think. But are you really happy in that space? Are you really who you are? Because if you are really afraid of what everyone will think about you, you will never be happy truly. and you will never do some things and take some risks for you. So change yourself for yourself. That's my advice. And that's what I listened and did. - 100%. And I believe there is more, a bigger part to that because you mentioned earlier, you said, "Think positively and the world will give you positive things." What is your approach to spirituality? How do you see life? Do you see that you're manifesting things in this world? Do you see that you're protected by a higher power or that you're a goddess and you're creating your reality? Because sometimes part of taking that risk and for women to live to their potential is to feel they're not alone even if they're leaving their family or people behind. For you, how do you see it? What gives you that peace of feeling that you're not alone and therefore in danger even when you are not doing what the people you grew up with like and appreciate. I would say the first thing is God, religion. I'm very religious and what saved me in very, let's say, dark moments in my life is prayer and God. So I never felt that I was alone when I was praying. So I believe in praying. It's like some people call it manifesting, but I pray for things and I appreciate things. I'm very grateful for every day for the small, like I said, I'm really for the small things in my life. I'm very grateful, you know, so I don't wish for something big too much. I always start from small things that I already have. So just for me that the God is there, is always there. So yeah, I would just say maybe some people are manifesting or the love of attraction or some things. It's okay. You know, we all believe in some kind of things. No one denies that it doesn't exist. You know, we all believe in something that is not like out, that is not in this world, I'll recall it, it's from somewhere out, it's in the air, you know. But it's okay as long as you believe. I mean, just believe in yourself and try to improve yourself every day. I want to say one story that there is a book, I'll read it. The Boy, the Mall, the fox and the horse. And that is a story about hope. So one boy was riding a horse and it was dark and they came in front of the forest and the boy stopped. And the horse asked him like, "Why did you stop?" And he said, "Because I cannot see where I'm going. It's so dark in its forest." And the horse said, "Okay, but do you see the first step in front of yourself?" And he said, "Yes, I see." Then horse said, "Then make it step by step. It's going to lead you to the forest and through it and out of it." So don't be afraid to make that step. In life we are almost all the time blindfolded, but it's important to be full of trust. So it doesn't matter. You need to say to yourself, "I don't need the light to make me going to go forward. I just need to keep going. And eventually the road, the path will appear. So don't lose hope. Believe in yourself. Believe in your steps. Even those are small ones. Just go and everything will sort it out. Don't be afraid. That's a really nice story that will stay in my life forever. You know, there's always hope, even if you don't see it. I agree 100 percent. That's a beautiful story. Thank you, Bojana, for sharing it. And I want to know more because in your life, you need a lot of masculine energy. You're a gym addict and the discipline requires a lot of masculinity. When you are putting a step forward in the face of the unknown and danger, it requires courage and bravery. It's starting a a new life and a new place, it's all the same. I interviewed some women who said, of course, they need it, but they feel it's uncomfortable to stay too much in that because they feel they're losing touch with their femininity. It's like a burden. So for you, what is your understanding or feeling of your feminine energy? What is your understanding or feeling of your masculine energy? Do you feel you combine both and it's comfortable? How do you approach it? And what's your advice and thought to other women who maybe in these times, it became confused? What is masculine energy? What is feminine energy? What is good and feeling? And what is not? Share more about that. Good question, because I think the women are really both of it. You know, we are in feminine and masculine energy. We are combining that both in the same time. So I think it's important to work on yourself, even out and inside. So people are the women who always think like it's not good to be like doing so much in the regime, they will be like more masculine, you know, but I think it's It's more better to do it because then you can really meet your borders. You can really see how strong you are. It really challenges you. It really tests you. It really, especially if you are the consistency that really keeps you going. And I think that every woman should try it and they will meet the new version of themselves and they will really realize how strong they are. And they are not just therefore be pretty and, you know, it's just about testing yourself. It's that's what I would say. Go and try. It's about reaching your potential and more and discovering that you're capable of much more than you thought you are. And I want to extract even more of the insights and wisdom. I feel you're a deep woman, in the sense that you are a deep thinker. And that's very, very important. Nowadays, there are many girls growing up and also women who look at other women in real life or Instagram, and they compare themselves and they feel ugly. And they think, Oh, I am not like her. I'm ugly. So I shouldn't even feel good and they become depressed, but that does not allow them to see their unique beauty. What's your insight or advice to those women so that they believe in themselves, see themselves as beautiful and motivated and always support themselves without comparing to any other person? It's a good question because we live in a world where now in the era of the social network and everything, Instagram, and it really took a big role in our life that we need to compare ourselves to others. And the funny thing is that there will always be more beautiful, more talented people, more smarter, more, you know, but there are also people who are not, you know, so I just want to advise the girls that be true to yourself. Know yourself, just know the things that you don't want. It's better to change the things that you are aware of it than think about things that you don't know yet. So like I said, change yourself for yourself, know for others, and don't compare yourself with the things that you might not think that you can achieve it or that is not for you, just to fit in this society and to be acceptable. Like because we are different what I found beautiful you don't find it like that, you know, and That's how the people are thinking, you know So if you are beautiful for someone for someone else you will not you cannot fit in every field You know, you cannot be beautiful for everyone Whatever beautiful means for everybody. So just be true to yourself work on yourself know What is your britches? Like what is your qualities? Who are you? And there is always people who will think that you are the great, like the best one. So yeah, just be yourself, believe in yourself. That's my advice. I agree. Life is not about compromising ourselves so that some random people like us, but about creating our own mini-universe of great people who are not toxic or supportive and very, very good. And that relates me to the last question that I'm curious to know more. You have created in your life friendships that lasted for 15 years and more. And let's say there are women who are in new places like you were new in Switzerland and now new in Dubai. And they meet different people and they think, "How do I know which person I should invest my time an effort in because those will be long-term friends and who maybe is narcissist or good at charisma but they're not really that deep or whatever. How do you tell or is it that you trust and then you see what happens? What's your advice to those women so that they will know which people have the potential to become those lifelong friends and which people can stay acquaintances and no more. That's something which you need to work on. I think self-observation is very important. So first you need to start from yourself and point fingers to yourself before you do to other people. So that I like like the thing the people who are surrounding me what they are thinking about me, what I am giving to them and how they feel about me. And that's the some thing that I can see what person I am, what I'm giving. And of course, to see what I don't like. And when you meet someone new, you immediately what you feel is about that person is the energy of that person, the vibe. And then you ask yourself how I feel around that person, what does this person do to me? It's just important to be aware of everything. And of course, you cannot know immediately if that person will gonna trick you or not. But take a risk, you know, you know what you don't like. So if that person has something that you don't like, then it means that there is no place for you there. There is no energy to be spent on that person. So that's why I'm going back to what I said before. Write down the things, what you don't like to other people. Change it if you have it. Change it to yourself and then you will know in the future what kind of people you want actually around you. So it's important to love yourself. Even spend quality time to yourself. You know, don't be afraid because if you love yourself that means you're a good person. I always say to people imagine that you are meeting yourself for the first time, that you are someone, look at it from the bird perspective. What you will think about yourself, what you will say to other people, what day you spent with that person, what is like that person, how that person make you feel. So yeah, I always say start from yourself, know yourself, what are you giving, and then you will know what you want from other people. Thank you. I want more. I have another question. You spoke about the vibe and when you meet someone, how they make you feel and the energy in the situation. I call that chemistry. How, and like, I'm sure you thought about this in some ways. Where does that come from? What does it mean? How do you think it happens? Is it some people believe that those are souls that met before life and now they come and they're like almost soulmates and they resonate together. Other people feel it's based on the levels of energy that people who are at the same level of positivity vibrate in the same energy. So they resonate together and people who are not at the same level of positivity don't. Other people say it depends, maybe it's pheromones, maybe it's biological to you. How do you perceive it in a sense? Because it's something that you cannot explain in a logical way. You just feel someone could be amazing, you just don't feel that right. And another person, they don't need to say anything and it feels as if you've known that person all your life to you, where do you feel it comes from? What's special about it? How do you experience it? Tell me more about that feeling. You explained it really, really good because everybody thinks about that differently, and I call it magic. It's just a magic thing. The things that you cannot explain, that connection, that vibe, that spiritual thing that like souls meets, you know, like what's inside of us is the same, you know, like when that happens, when the two people meet, like it's like so many sparks, like in that moment, I love that feeling. And I think that it's something what, I don't know, I call it something like love, you know, that people call it like love on the first sight. It's not just about real love between woman and man. And it's a more spiritual thing, like souls, like you find your soulmate. And it's really important when you find those person to keep them to work on your relationship with that person. Because if it makes you happy, then keep going and you don't need to care what other people think, you know. So that is really good. Everybody thinks about it a different way, you know, but I think it's some kind of magic because you cannot explain, but it's happening, you know. So I always like to stay in childish way like in those fairy tales you know so yeah I would say it's magic. Well life would be boring without magic so that's absolutely fine thank you so much Bojana it was my privilege and my honor to share your voice to share your insights we did 40 minutes and it feels like five minutes so I encourage your success I wish you to always live your best life ever to meet all the great people to experience magic every day and to always believe and support yourself and to always make your best life happen. Thank you again for participating. Thank you so much, Elise. It was really, really my honor to be a part of this. Keep doing what you are doing. You are really great and this is so inspiring and I hope everybody will listen and I just wish everybody so happy and blessing life and I hope to meet you again. Thank you so much. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music)
